By Zephyria His thumb gently stroked his cheekbone. After gazing into his eyes for a long moment, Lee Hae-sung’s gaze drifted down, resting on Choi Hong-seo’s lips. Beneath his lowered eyelids, he felt his eyes moisten. His lips, chapped from fatigue, parted slightly, and a sweet breath escaped, touching Choi Hong-seo’s skin. Just like before.
Choi Hong-seo unconsciously took a shallow breath. He lightly rubbed his cheek against his cold hand. Very slightly, his face seemed to draw closer, tilting.
“……”
But with a knock, his hand and lips retreated back to their original positions.
Watching his back as he walked towards the door, Choi Hong-seo awkwardly rose and followed. I didn’t expect a kiss. Just being able to face him as Choi Hong-seo is more than enough happiness. He told himself firmly.
A dead person has returned. That in itself was no ordinary event. Of course, he would need time to adjust too. Why was he being so impatient? His disappointment in himself was greater. I shouldn’t be like this, he thought, pretending not to notice the stinging in his heart.
The visitor was the hotel’s front office manager. The manager, accompanied by another staff member carrying a tray with freshly squeezed fruit juice, came to the room.
The manager was eager to attract a customer who, after staying one night in a standard room and checking out, would pay for their entire stay at the suite room rate.
“You’re planning to spend your vacation in LA. Of course, you’ll be staying somewhere wonderful, but our hotel also has a casino. While you’re naturally treated as a VIP at other hotels and casinos, if you choose to visit our hotel’s casino, we will provide you with services focused solely on you, ensuring no overlap in movement or benefits with any other VIP guests.”
While the checkout was being processed, Lee Hae-sung was icing Choi Hong-seo’s eyes with a freshly replaced ice pack. However, the manager, completely unfazed by the situation unfolding before her, maintained a consistently soft and pleasant smile.
Choi Hong-seo seemed to be the only one uncomfortable with being iced by his lover in front of strangers. He had tried to resist, saying he could do it himself, but his timid protest was easily subdued by Lee Hae-sung.
“We have prepared a brochure detailing the exclusive benefits our hotel offers, even for those who do not stay with us but simply use the casino.”
The manager didn’t just focus on Lee Hae-sung; she also gave Choi Hong-seo a kind smile from time to time, making sure to give the impression that she was speaking to ‘both of them.’
She seemed to perceive them as a very wealthy man and his younger male lover. And she showed no outward discomfort with the situation.
To her consistently kind and enthusiastic invitation, Lee Hae-sung withdrew the ice pack and showed a modicum of effort by glancing at the brochure.
“Thank you for the offer, but we have accommodation arranged in Malibu. It’s a bit far to visit the casino.”
Then, gently squeezing Choi Hong-seo’s hand, he added with a slightly embarrassed smile,
“And… it’s our vacation, so rather than spending time at a place like the casino, we’d prefer to rest quietly.”
“Yes… I suppose that would be the case.”
Despite Lee Hae-sung’s refusal, she showed no sign of disappointment. She maintained a professional demeanor so excellent that her parting words, wishing them to visit again if they were ever in LA and hoping the hotel would become a place filled with their memories, almost felt genuine.
After completing the payment, Lee Hae-sung, with Choi Hong-seo’s backpack slung over one shoulder, left the room holding Choi Hong-seo’s hand with his other. He didn’t let go of his hand until they were in the elevator and passing through the lobby. His SUV was waiting precisely at the main entrance.
A different doorman than before quickly approached, took the backpack from Lee Hae-sung, and placed it in the backseat. Lee Hae-sung, too, handed him a generous tip.
About four staff members, including the manager, waved goodbye. Choi Hong-seo, sitting in the passenger seat, awkwardly waved back. As Lee Hae-sung turned the steering wheel to exit the circular driveway in front of the hotel, he chuckled at the sight.
Not long after merging onto the road, his phone rang.
“They said they can prepare a place for shopping in an hour. The navigation also says it’ll take about an hour to the destination. Hmm… aren’t you hungry?”
After a short call, he glanced at the passenger seat and said,
“You must be hungry after crying so much.”
Come to think of it, it was well past lunchtime. But, just like yesterday, he still felt surprisingly not hungry.
He had reunited with him at the gallery, and the exhibition itself was his message, waiting for ‘Choi Hong-seo’ to ‘return’… and now, the fact that he was truly seeing him as Choi Hong-seo, or at least acknowledging it and deciding to try to fully accept it, felt surreal. He was too overwhelmed just by processing today’s events to feel hunger.
“I don’t have an appetite yet, Darling. If you’re hungry, let’s go eat something.”
“Actually, I don’t feel like eating anything either.”
The memory of crying for a long time in his arms at the gallery felt like a distant past. He gazed intently at Lee Hae-sung’s face as he drove. He wanted to feel more strongly the reality of being with him, who saw him as Choi Hong-seo.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Your expression is troubled.”
“It’s not…”
“You look like you’re deep in thought. What is it?”
“Just because.”
“Just because?”
“I feel… strange.”
“Are you disappointed?”
“……”
“Disappointed that I’m a conglomerate who bothers the doorman at a rundown hotel?”
Lee Hae-sung had misinterpreted Choi Hong-seo’s pensive expression. Turning his gaze away from Choi Hong-seo, who was fiddling with his seatbelt, he stared straight ahead with a stubborn look.
“Even if that’s the case, there’s nothing I can do. He treated you terribly.”
His tone was also firm.
“You came alone to a foreign land, everything is unfamiliar and you must have been tense. Moreover, can you not feel pity for someone so much younger than you? Instead of showing kindness to a guest, how can you make things more difficult? If you were the victim of such unfair treatment, I won’t let it slide anymore.”
His hands, gripping the steering wheel, tightened, his knuckles turning white as if he was still angry even after replaying it in his mind.
“I’ll stop pretending to be a good person just for you.”
“……”
“If I wanted to give you ten, twenty things, I gave you one. Even then, I worried if it would be too much, if you would come to dislike me… I’ve decided not to do that anymore.”
The car had long since left the hotel and was driving towards the airport, along the coast. Glancing back at Choi Hong-seo, who was silent with a complex expression, Lee Hae-sung composed his voice, which had been rough moments before.
“Do I… have to do that?”
“……”
“Should I hold back and save up even if I want to give you something? Like before?”
“……No. No.”
Choi Hong-seo shook his head several times. Slowing down and stopping the car behind a long line of stationary vehicles, Lee Hae-sung turned to Choi Hong-seo with a face full of regret for his question.
“I know the question was cowardly, but I couldn’t help it.”
“It wasn’t cowardly. And I wasn’t disappointed.”
Choi Hong-seo placed his hand over Lee Hae-sung’s right hand on the steering wheel. The fact that he was in Yoon Hye-an’s form still made him feel insecure in front of him, but he didn’t want Lee Hae-sung to misunderstand and think he was disappointed.
“There are many things I don’t want to regret again, and I know what they are.”
“……”
“Do as you want, Darling. I like that too.”
Lee Hae-sung leaned his head back against the headrest. He then looked at Choi Hong-seo silently and clasped the fingertips of his hand. The movement of his thumb rubbing over his fingernails was ticklish, but Choi Hong-seo didn’t want to pull his hand away.
“Can I… call you Darling?”
The line of cars that had been stopped began to move. Starting the car again, Lee Hae-sung looked straight ahead and said casually,
“Well, Hong-seo used to call me Haesung-ssi? And sometimes, when he was in a good mood, he’d call me Haesung-hyung. When we fought, he’d call me Lee Hae-sung, and be scary.”
“That never happened.”
“Are you sure?”
He pressed down on Choi Hong-seo’s fingertips, which he was holding on the steering wheel, as if massaging them, and said without a hint of a smile. It was just like his old self, making Choi Hong-seo flustered with his deadpan jokes.
“Well, in bed… that did happen, but…”
Choi Hong-seo felt his face flush. He tried to pull his hand out of his grasp, but he resisted, engaging in a tug-of-war. It was half a joke to him.
“But we never fought… and, calling you, Lee… Lee Hae-sung… that was just your wish, Darling.”
When he loosened his grip, Choi Hong-seo finally managed to pull his hand out and covered his reddened face, stroking it to calm himself. Lee Hae-sung, with his left arm resting on the window frame, covered his mouth with his hand and was secretly smiling. No, looking at his loosely covered profile, it seemed he wasn’t even trying to hide it.
“You’re the same. Exactly the same.”
He muttered to himself.
Then, touching his attractive lips with his long fingers, he turned to Choi Hong-seo. This time, a playful smile was on his face.
“Didn’t you say you’d do whatever I wanted?”
“That… that’s true, but…”
Fiddling with the seatbelt that crossed his chest instead of his bag strap, Choi Hong-seo lowered his head, his face still showing a lingering blush. Lee Hae-sung chuckled softly and reached out his arm to ruffle his hair.
“Sorry. I teased you too much. I wanted to see this. I’m sorry.”