CNC 124

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Part 6

Lee Hae-sung, having finished his shower in the guest bathroom off the living room, approached the window, cinching the tie of his robe. He had quickly left the bathroom to avoid the humidity, and water streamed down the robe’s calves.

Outside, rain was still pouring down on the city’s deep blue dawn. Just like the second night he held Choi Hong-seo.

He slipped his hands into his robe pockets and gazed down at the world twenty floors below. While twenty floors wasn’t particularly high, being in a hotel built on Namsan allowed for a panoramic view of Seoul, including the Han River and the areas of Gangnam and Dongjak beyond. The perceived height easily exceeded forty floors.

Lee Hae-sung let out a heavy sigh without opening his mouth and went to the minibar to heat water in the kettle. He took out the tea set and prepared to make tea, waiting for the water to boil. On the round table by the window, there were already signs of three or four cups of tea having been drunk.

He actually wanted to drink some alcohol, but he had to drive soon. He had an interview scheduled with a foreign media outlet over lunch. To prepare for that, he had to return home within a few hours. On a day like today, he didn’t want to bring his entourage.

Leaning against the edge of the minibar with his hand, Lee Hae-sung sighed with his entire upper body. His face, reflected in the mirror adorning the bar, was gaunt from lack of sleep. He figured he’d get an earful from his secretariat.

After sex, he had tried to get some sleep, but he just couldn’t.

He had watched for a long time the exhausted face of the person who had collapsed into sleep, their face stained with tears. Even in sleep, he had breathed in shuddering gasps, as if heartbroken. He had carefully, very carefully, brushed the sweat-dampened hair away from that face.

Even though he had reached climax inside him three times while changing condoms, he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do something as simple as caress that face.

“Um, when we… I might not feel it much.”

He had been surprised by those words, but it was within the scope of his expectations.

However, before proper foreplay had even begun, he had tried to kiss Lee Hae-sung’s genitals and asked to do it without a condom.

Wearing his own pajamas that Choi Hong-seo had worn, and carrying the scent he had shared with Choi Hong-seo, the person lying face down no longer appeared as ‘Yoon Hye-an’ in Lee Hae-sung’s eyes.

If not Yoon Hye-an, then who was he?

“Mister… sob, I’ve, never, done it, like, this… so…”

He had sobbed like that, burying his face in the pillow. There was no feigned awkwardness or hesitation in the voice that called Lee Hae-sung ‘Mister’.

Lee Hae-sung couldn’t proceed any further. He had asked him to ‘hold him like Choi Hong-seo’ to test, to confirm something he himself couldn’t understand, but he felt like he was truly losing his mind. It seemed like Lee Hae-sung himself, not Yoon Hye-an, needed counseling.

So he ran away.

Because he felt like he was turning into a madman, stepping outside the boundaries of common sense he had believed in.

And when his bare back was touched by fingers.

When those fingertips began to move, forming letters.

Lee Hae-sung had no choice but to cross out X on all the options from 1 to 5 that had been presented as answers to the questions in his head.

The options, written based on sound reason and objectivity. The answers should clearly have been among them.

Whether by chance or by some effort, Yoon Hye-an had obtained Choi Hong-seo’s information and was trying to gain something by piquing his interest based on it. All the answers were slight variations from that.

However, at that moment, Lee Hae-sung couldn’t help but consider option 6.

An answer that couldn’t exist, and wasn’t even on the list of choices.

“You’re like a god, Yoon Hye-an, who knows everything about us.”

He had said that sarcastically once, but truly, he knew everything. It was unbelievable.

The water boiled, and the kettle automatically shut off. Lee Hae-sung poured water to warm the teacups, then discarded it and poured fresh water into the cups again. He slid the tea bag along the rim of the cup filled with hot water, gently dropping it in. The once overwhelmingly strong scent soon lingered in his nostrils as a much subtler aftertaste.

After waiting a moment for the water to steep, he removed the tea bag. Carrying the teacup placed on the saucer, he moved back to the window. Inhaling the tea’s fragrance deeply, he stared intently at the dawn that was slowly breaking. As if trying to prevent the morning from arriving, he gazed forcefully at the gradually expanding, pale edge of the sky, pushing it back.

He knew everything.

Either he was a god, or Choi Hong-seo himself. There was no other explanation.

Amused by the possibility he himself had suggested, Lee Hae-sung shrugged and chuckled self-deprecatingly.

Was he going to admit that he had finally gone mad?

The tea was cooling, barely touched.

■

Looking at Earth from space.

There is no breath of wind, no vibration of sound around. There are no ‘my hands,’ no ‘my voice.’ I am simply watching something.

It was a sensation he had felt before. Choi Hong-seo knew this silence, this solitude that felt like being utterly alone in the universe.

At the moment of being crushed by fear, another place unfolded.

This time, his vision was filled with people. Men and women dressed in finery were raising glasses and laughing and chatting in an open space under the night sky. The dazzling night view created by high-rise buildings stretched out around them.

Choi Hong-seo knew where that place was, too.

His non-existent limbs began to tremble. Among the happy people, he saw the manager and the members. The scene, shaking erratically like a camera illuminating every corner of the space to find the protagonist, finally found Choi Hong-seo.

Choi Hong-seo in that world was drinking whiskey at a bar a few steps above a table.

Choi Hong-seo, having emptied his whiskey, looked up at the sky above.

Or, I could offer X-gun and the Vice President as a set. If you love someone, you should always be together.

He could even read the email from Lee Seo-kyung that the other Choi Hong-seo was thinking of.

The Choi Hong-seo in this world tried desperately to stop the other Choi Hong-seo, but he had no legs to run, no arms or hands to embrace and block him, no voice to shout no.

One, two… three… The other Choi Hong-seo began counting on his fingers.

The Choi Hong-seo in this world thrashed about, on the verge of madness. But in reality, he couldn’t create even the slightest ripple. He couldn’t stir a gentle breeze.

The moment scalding tears flowed down his temples… the Choi Hong-seo in this world and the Choi Hong-seo in that world became one, and he could finally move his ‘body.’

“Hah, huff… Hooo… sob…”

Choi Hong-seo gasped for breath, his chest heaving. It felt like he had been forcibly submerged underwater and had just surfaced.

“Were you having a nightmare?”

“Heehee… Hooo…*”

He barely managed to roll his eyes to follow the direction of the voice. Lee Hae-sung, fully dressed, was holding his shoulder tightly, his face etched with concern. He had woken him up. He had prevented that terrible thing from repeating… He had stopped it.

The events that had occurred since waking up in Yoon Hye-an’s body slowly flowed into Choi Hong-seo’s consciousness.

Choi Hong-seo fumbled for Lee Hae-sung’s hand, which was shaking his shoulder, and grasped it tightly. He wasn’t afraid of being rejected. He just wanted to feel that this was reality.

“You’re sweating a lot, or are you not feeling well?”

“No… a dream, a dream…”

Swallowing dryly, Choi Hong-seo sat up. His body, still recovering from the severe sleep paralysis, didn’t quite obey him yet. He rubbed his face vigorously with both hands, trying to regain his composure.

“What time is it?”

“You still have plenty of time to sleep.”

Choi Hong-seo looked at him, standing by the bed. He looked perfect, as if he were about to leave the room at any moment.

“I’d like to stay longer… but I have an appointment in the morning.”

Looking at his furrowed brow, it seemed the words “I’d like to stay longer” were not a lie. He wasn’t the type to add such remarks as mere lip service.

“Then I’ll get up too.”

He dragged his hips to the edge of the bed, preparing to get down. Lee Hae-sung’s hand stopped him, resting on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you rest a bit longer?”

“……”

“It’s been a while, I imagine. It must have taken a toll.”

He implied that anal sex had been a while.

It took about two or three seconds for him to fully grasp the meaning of his words. He must have felt it since he had tried it directly.

Choi Hong-seo rubbed his face again, trying to hide his face, which was heating up against his will.

“It’s okay. You didn’t… finish inside, so I’ll just shower quickly…”

Despite his words, his legs, planted on the floor, trembled. He quickly grabbed his arm to support him. By the time they reached the bathroom door, Choi Hong-seo could stand on his own again.

“Do you need help?”

He shook his head at his offer, his face filled with pity.

“I’m just going to rinse off the sweat, but if you’re short on time, you can leave first…”

This time, he shook his head firmly.

“I have enough time to wait. I’ll be in the living room, so take your time.”

He said to take his time, but Choi Hong-seo hurried as much as possible. Even with a condom, the sex had lasted until he ejaculated three times, leaving a strong aftereffect throughout his body. His pelvic bones felt spread apart, and his lower back felt generally weary, while his anus and the inside felt tingly. It was more comfortable to bend slightly forward than to stand up straight.

The sensation of his penis constantly rubbing against his insides remained as a tingle and warmth in his buttocks. It felt like proof that everything from last night wasn’t a dream, and he didn’t dislike those traces.

When he finished preparing and went out to the living room, a simple meal had been prepared on the dining table in the meantime. Following his gesture, he sat awkwardly in the seat opposite him. The porridge, dried pollack soup, and a few mild side dishes surprisingly stimulated his appetite. He felt even hungrier when he remembered he hadn’t eaten anything for over half a day.

As he took two spoonfuls of the warm soup, he said,

“Your phone kept ringing inside your jacket.”

“Ah, yes. It’s probably work.”

“I thought it was your manager, so I answered it.”

“…What?”

Choi Hong-seo, who had been about to try the porridge, stopped his spoon.

“I figured they would keep worrying otherwise.”

Lee Hae-sung’s expression and voice remained calm.

“I didn’t say anything strange.”

“……”

“I told them that you had suddenly felt unwell, that I was having you rest nearby, that you were asleep now, and that I would make sure you got home safely when you woke up, so they shouldn’t worry.”

The fact that Lee Hae-sung, the largest investor in the film, ARA, had taken care of ‘Yoon Hye-an’ because he was unwell, setting aside all the production company staff present, was strange enough.

He was never a careless person. He couldn’t have failed to predict the questions his explanation might raise. He had done it knowingly. Either he didn’t care about the questions the other person might have, or he had intentionally acted to make them have questions.

He had decided not to hide the fact that ARA’s Lee Hae-sung was looking after ‘Yoon Hye-an’ in front of people.

Seeing Choi Hong-seo’s spoon still paused, Lee Hae-sung, who had been drinking coffee, put down his cup and looked at him.

“Why? Did I do something I shouldn’t have?”

Even as he asked, his tone and expression were calmly subdued.