By Zephyria ■
After a day or two of lingering low fever, the illness finally erupted.
From the moment I woke up that morning, I knew my physical condition was unusual. But with the new release so close and the first broadcast scheduled for that weekend, I couldn’t postpone practice.
Moreover, it was a rare day off, and I had already arranged to meet Jeong Ji-in for the first time in a long while. We hadn’t met alone since the housewarming at the new dorm. Jeong Ji-in had become busy with his new drama filming, and during the times I did have even a little free time, I had spent it with Lee Hae-sung.
This time, I really wanted to meet him in person and talk about Lee Hae-sung. I felt that Jeong Ji-in, unlike others, would believe the true nature of Lee Hae-sung as I perceived it, without prejudice about him being a chaebol and me being an idol. I wasn’t good with words, so I didn’t feel confident conveying such a story over the phone.
However, as the afternoon wore on, I could no longer sustain myself with medication.
Eventually, Choi Hong-seo collapsed in the practice room as if he had fainted, slumping down like someone whose strength had given out in his back and knees.
The thermometer reading neared 40 degrees Celsius. Seeing that, I could no longer be stubborn.
“Go in and rest, please. Don’t you trust us that much? Hyung endured it until he was in this state without showing he was sick… seeing this, surely you don’t think we’d slack off?”
“Yeah, Hyung. Today, the dance captain is here too. We can’t slack off even if we wanted to.”
Lying on the sofa and looking up at his members’ faces, Choi Hong-seo closed his eyes. The choreographer and dance team captain was at the practice room that day to finalize everything. So, even if the members were unreliable, it seemed okay to leave them to the captain for a day.
No, honestly, it felt like I had no choice but to leave them to him.
I went to the hospital with the manager and then returned to the dorm. Perhaps because it was also pouring rain, my body felt even heavier.
Without even thinking of changing clothes, I crawled straight into bed. The manager, who brought a glass of water and medicine into the room, looked down with a worried expression.
“Can you be alone?”
“I’ll just be sleeping after taking the medicine anyway.”
“Ga-yoon will be here briefly later. She needs to check the outfits for the first broadcast today. She’ll open the door lock and come in on her own, but you need to get up briefly and try on the clothes.”
“Alright. Please tell My acquaintance, Hyung for me.”
Swallowing three or four pills, Choi Hong-seo buried his face in the pillow and lay down again. It felt as if someone was desperately pulling at his body from under the bed.
Hearing the manager quietly leave, I closed my eyes. I thought I would fall asleep immediately upon lying down, but being left alone made my mind even more cluttered.
Before, I used to think about Lee Hae-sung whenever I had a moment, but now my head was filled with thoughts of Lee Seo-kyung.
I had told CEO Myeong that Lee Seo-kyung had come to the dorm, and I had also told him how furious he was. CEO Myeong, who was boiling with anger, threw and broke whatever he could get his hands on, spewing curses at Lee Seo-kyung. He raged that the son of a bitch was ruining his life.
For a long time, Myeong Do-hoon had been, in a way, like a Korean branch manager managing Lee Seo-kyung’s entertainment. He would scout new faces that Lee Seo-kyung might like and, with financial support, draw them into the entertainment world.
It was ironically true that Lee Seo-kyung didn’t favor simplistic criminal methods like kidnapping or violence. Not because he was a pacifist who disliked violence, but because with a little more time and money, there were ways to perfectly disguise the fact that he was the perpetrator. Myeong Do-hoon received lucrative opportunities from Lee Seo-kyung in exchange for helping him with this, and he was able to build connections with high-society clients.
But now, even for Myeong Do-hoon, Lee Seo-kyung was merely a troublesome obstacle trying to control him. They had held each other’s weaknesses for too long.
The attention Lee Hae-sung showed Choi Hong-seo.
Myeong Do-hoon saw this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. To escape from Lee Seo-kyung, he had to attach himself again to someone with power equal to or greater than Lee Seo-kyung’s, and unfortunately, there weren’t many such people in South Korea at the moment.
Now, CEO Myeong desperately trying to oppose Lee Seo-kyung seemed ridiculous to Choi Hong-seo. If it weren’t for Lee Hae-sung, he wouldn’t have had to struggle to keep Choi Hong-seo away from Lee Seo-kyung, who suddenly reappeared after years. Instead, he would have handed him over readily…
Moving his heavy body, Choi Hong-seo turned onto his side and pulled the blanket up to his head.
“Introduce our Hong-seo with this photo and video… then, whose house this is… well, if you just leak that much information, YouTube can whip up a novel with a sprinkle of salt and pepper. If they say he was involved with someone like this… it’ll slightly tarnish the image of the model student, Vice President Lee Hae-sung, the third-generation chaebol.”
I squeezed my eyes shut under the blanket.
If they touched Lee Hae-sung like that, I wouldn’t stand by. Even if it meant I would be ostracized from society along with him, I would expose everything, prepared for that. I had desperately resisted Lee Seo-kyung, but even if I did, Lee Hae-sung would have already been entangled by then.
Even if I exposed him before he touched Lee Hae-sung, there was no guarantee that Lee Seo-kyung, holding a grudge, wouldn’t entangle Lee Hae-sung afterward.
Lee Seo-kyung’s targets were clearly Myeong Do-hoon and Choi Hong-seo. Lee Hae-sung was merely a tool to drag Choi Hong-seo in for ‘education.’ If Choi Hong-seo had obeyed him as he used to, Lee Seo-kyung would have had no reason to bother Lee Hae-sung.
I knew that scandals like this wouldn’t be a huge blow to someone in Lee Hae-sung’s position. A few years ago, another chaebol involved in a scandal that felt unreal had continued living just as before.
But this was a matter of honor.
The horrific photo from that day, taken by a pig like Lee Seo-kyung, being revealed to the world, Choi Hong-seo being branded as a ‘perverted degenerate despite appearances,’ and ARA’s Lee Hae-sung being mentioned in people’s mouths as having been involved with Choi Hong-seo… it felt no different than Lee Hae-sung taking the blame for what Lee Seo-kyung had done.
What should I do… what should I really do…
No matter how much I thought, I couldn’t see a way out. My head felt hotter from those thoughts than from the hot breath escaping my nose and mouth. Tears flowed from helplessness and despair. In the seven years of a shitty life, I had shed tears and acted emotionally only a handful of times.
“Ah, if you want to protect the Vice President so much, then erase your past. That would solve it.”
Lee Seo-kyung’s face, saying that last, replayed endlessly behind my closed eyes.
Fidgeting under the blanket, Choi Hong-seo grasped his phone.
Lee Hae-sung also knew that today’s schedule was only practice and the appointment with Jeong Ji-in. About two hours ago, during a break in practice, the last message I sent him was a selfie taken in the practice room mirror, to which he replied with an excessive amount of heart emojis flying around my face.
About an hour later, a new message arrived from him.
Carrot Seller: The rain is getting heavier. Our Hong-seo was looking forward to meeting Hyung after a long time, but the weather isn’t cooperating (3:04 PM)
Carrot Seller: You know you can call me anytime if you need a driver on your way home later (3:06 PM)
Carrot Seller: I’m leaving work a bit early today and will be resting at home, so any time is fine. Don’t feel sorry and call me (3:07 PM)
Carrot Seller: Like I said last time, I’m really not upset at all that you’re meeting another Hyung on your precious day off (3:09 PM)
Carrot Seller: Did I not tell you? (3:14 PM)
Carrot Seller: My fantasy is my boyfriend calling me to pick him up when he’s a little drunk after having fun drinking with someone else outside (3:15 PM)
Carrot Seller: At times like that, my boyfriend would probably speak with a slight lisp, and seem extra affectionate (3:18 PM)
Carrot Seller: Enthusiastically welcome ^^ (3:18 PM)
Lee Hae-sung’s characteristic dry humor brought a faint smile to my lips. Even in this situation, time spent with him was my only lifeline. Choi Hong-seo navigated to the photo album in his chat with Lee Hae-sung and scrolled back through several files.
I stared at the business registration certificate for the film company ‘Hieutsiut’ for a long time. It was a new habit after Lee Seo-kyung’s visit. Lee Hae-sung had given me more than a few things, but this felt like a more precious gift than anything I had ever received. Perhaps more than the life I was born into unwillingly, more than this life itself…
I cannot erase the past. If I could, I would have done so countless times already. But I could erase myself, who carries that past…
As if to scold such thoughts, a sound of footsteps suddenly came from outside the door. The footsteps that had walked down the hallway stopped in front of the door.
“Hong-seo ya, Hong-seo ya… are you asleep?”
The voice calling out while gently knocking was Ga-yoon, the stylist. Choi Hong-seo quickly wiped away the remaining tears from his eyes under the blanket.
“Choi Hong-seo, I’m coming in?”
The door quietly opened behind me. Choi Hong-seo pulled down the blanket and turned around, disheveled. Ga-yoon, with the outfit draped over her shoulder, stood at the door with a apologetic look.
“Noona.”
“Did I wake you up while you were sleeping?”
“It’s okay. It’s just trying on clothes, that’s all. Is that it?”
Sitting up, I rubbed my face with my palm. Ga-yoon’s hands were hurried as she removed the cover from the outfit, thinking of finishing as quickly as possible.
“The clothes turned out really well.”
“You’ve lost more weight lately. I thought this part would be too big. It’ll look prettier if it’s altered to fit perfectly rather than pinned with a safety pin.”
“Yeah, I like that too. It’s the first broadcast, after all.”
It took less than five minutes for me to try on the clothes and for the stylist to check the parts that needed alteration. Ga-yoon also found some comfortable clothes for Choi Hong-seo, who was still wearing his practice clothes.
“You don’t have to come out. What kind of patient are you to see me off.”
Ga-yoon, who kept looking back at Choi Hong-seo as he followed her to the entrance, looked reluctant.
“It’s just a cold that will be better in a day, what kind of patient am I. I want to find something to eat in the kitchen after seeing you off.”
“I told you I’d take care of it for you?”
“You have to go straight to a client with the outfits, what are you talking about.”
Small companies like UB don’t have abundant staff, so one person couldn’t be permanently assigned to look after Choi Hong-seo. Choi Hong-seo smiled at Ga-yoon, who kept looking back as if she couldn’t bear to leave a patient behind.
“Don’t force a smile. Your face is pale and you look like a ghost, so when you smile, you look even sicker.”
Ga-yoon put on her shoes, giving a playful glare. Choi Hong-seo leaned against the doorframe, holding the outfit, as she put on shoes with complicated laces.
“I’m sorry for making you come all the way to the dorm because of me, Noona. Otherwise, we could have finished it at the practice room. It’s raining heavily today too.”
“Don’t worry about such trivial things. I came through the underground parking lot, you know? I didn’t get a single drop of rain.”
Ga-yoon straightened her back and was about to take the outfit from Choi Hong-seo when the intercom rang.
Choi Hong-seo and Ga-yoon looked at each other. The manager, members, or company staff wouldn’t have rung the bell. But if it wasn’t them, there was no one else who would come to the dorm. Since it was a high-security apartment, sasaeng fans couldn’t possibly reach this floor.
“Who is it?”
Ga-yoon, without much thought, walked towards the front door to open it.
“Noona!”
“……”
“Don’t open it.”
“Why?”
“First, you… you should ask who it is.”
“We can’t have just anyone coming up anyway, right?”
“Still… there’s no harm in being careful.”
At Choi Hong-seo’s words, Ga-yoon nodded and asked towards the other side of the door.
“Who is it?”
The voice of the person asking from inside the door seemed unexpected, and the visitor outside hesitated to answer. After a moment of hesitation, a concise answer came a moment later.
“It’s Lee Hae-sung.”