Chapter 77 – The Price of Misjudgment
Jeong Si-jun blinked. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand Yoon Ki-hyun’s words, but his vision blurred as if his mind were refusing to process them.
‘Why now, of all times?’
On the day his confession was rejected, he had spat out harsh words in a fit of rage, but Jeong Si-jun believed that one day Yoon Ki-hyun would accept his apology.
Although the guiding he received now was purely obligatory, devoid of the goodwill it once held, he believed that time would heal everything.
He thought that if he apologized sincerely time and time again and strove to get along, Yoon Ki-hyun—who had a strangely soft side—would eventually give in and accept his apology.
The reason he could believe such a thing was that he knew Yoon Ki-hyun’s situation.
‘He has loans, so why does he hate money?’
As his older brother had mentioned when they met in the hospital room after hearing that his mother was critically ill, Yoon Ki-hyun needed money. He had said he had loans.
It was an amount that the Awakened Management Center, which treated people like consumables, could never provide, but he was different. Compared to the money deposited into his account every month just for breathing, such a sum was mere pocket change, and he could give it to Yoon Ki-hyun as much as he wanted.
Perhaps he had been overly optimistic from that moment on.
Yoon Ki-hyun needed money, and he needed Yoon Ki-hyun. Thus, he believed that even if Yoon Ki-hyun loathed his aggressive way of speaking and behaving, he would tolerate it. Just as Yoon Ki-hyun had done until now.
But the situation had changed.
“If you quit being a Guide…”
Jeong Si-jun murmured, unable to organize the swirling thoughts in his head.
“What are you going to do from now on?”
He intentionally avoided asking for specifics.
He already knew that Yoon Ki-hyun felt an inferiority complex toward him financially.
It was impossible not to notice. The most blatant display had likely been the day they signed the contract.
‘Even if I live a pathetic life, I still have something called pride. Do you think I actually want to use honorifics and be polite to a brat three years younger than me while receiving a salary?’
Every time he felt sorry and deposited money as a settlement, or gave him gifts, Yoon Ki-hyun’s discomfort was palpable. It was the same when he informed him that he had made a donation to the hospital.
Jeong Si-jun still remembered the emotion he had vaguely sensed behind a face that seemed unable to comprehend his way of thinking. He couldn’t put a precise name to it, but it didn’t seem to fall into a positive category.
“I’ll just figure something out.”
It was a hollow voice, devoid of even a grain of will. An answer that lacked any sincerity.
It had been like this ever since he had said those harsh words to Yoon Ki-hyun at home. Whenever he asked something, Yoon Ki-hyun responded with an inorganic expression. Even though he answered every word, it felt as if he were being ignored.
“What exactly do you plan to figure out?”
“I don’t think I have any obligation to tell you that.”
At Yoon Ki-hyun’s dry response, Jeong Si-jun bit his lip.
What would happen to a patient who had to pay off loans and hospital bills every month if their income stopped? Even if he had some savings, how long could he last?
Even assuming the statistics weren’t precise because there weren’t many patients in the country, he was told it was a disease with only a 20% five-year survival rate.
Looking at the face sitting blankly before him, there was no sign of a will to live.
Jeong Si-jun recalled the day he reunited with Yoon Ki-hyun after he had resigned. [visit our site]on Read BL Novels" style="display:none;" aria-label="Read on Read BL Novels">Read on Read BL NovelsThe man who had been covered in blood, craving guiding while spitting out curses, had been sitting in a bar that evening after he had rejected the guiding and left.
With a gloomy face, drinking like someone who had thrown everything away, Yoon Ki-hyun had said he had no connections in that city.
What could have been on his mind, staying in a city where he had no ties and doing nothing but drinking? There was only one answer.
“Mr. Yoon Ki-hyun.”
“Yes.”
His face, as he answered obediently, was devoid of expression. Even though he was staring blankly at him, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking.
Jeong Si-jun’s lips merely parted, not knowing what to say. The fact that he might have undergone one-sided imprinting with a Guide who could die at any moment didn’t matter. He could just quit being an Esper.
Although it didn’t suit his aptitude, he had only stayed at the Center because he wanted to be the youngest son who had a decent job for his mother.
The only thing he feared most in this [stolen content]stolen content -->moment was the fact that Yoon Ki-hyun might die. And not through the disease, but through some other means.
‘What should I do? What am I supposed to do?’
He had never been taught how to handle this.
Neither his father, nor his mother, nor even his illustrious older brothers had taught him how to behave in such a situation.
He wrung his brain, which felt like it was malfunctioning from overload.
“…You don’t have to do the guiding.”
“…”
“I won’t ask you for guiding. Keep receiving treatment. I’ll… I’ll take responsibility for everything. Whether it’s medical bills, living expenses, or anything else.”
With trembling lips, Jeong Si-jun poured out incoherent words.
“Why would the team leader take responsibility for my medical bills?”
“It’s shameless, but… I like you, Yoon Ki-hyun.”
At the pathetic confession, Yoon Ki-hyun laughed as if it were absurd.
Even though it was a smile closer to a hollow laugh, Jeong Si-jun couldn’t take his eyes off Yoon Ki-hyun’s face. Perhaps because this might be his last chance.
He hoped Yoon Ki-hyun would get angry and ask how he could say such things while claiming to like him, but the words Yoon Ki-hyun actually spoke were different from what Jeong Si-jun expected.
“Does the team leader really want to date a bastard who doesn’t know when he’ll die?”
“Why do you… talk like that?”
“Why? The team leader can say whatever he wants, but I can’t? Because you’re th[Read on Read BL Novelsstyle="font-size:0;position:absolute;left:-9999px;">]e one giving me money?”
“It’s not about that, and you’re not insulting me.”
Jeong Si-jun lowered his gaze. He didn’t have the confidence to look Yoon Ki-hyun in the eye. He would have felt more relieved if Yoon Ki-hyun had insulted him or even punched him, but Yoon Ki-hyun was only relentless in his self-destructive belittlement.
‘Fuck.’
Jeong Si-jun cursed inwardly. He wanted to go back to the moment he first met Yoon Ki-hyun if only he could turn back time.
Was the first button, once sewn wrong, impossible to undo?
Why had he made mistakes every single time despite having several opportunities? Why couldn’t he be honest with his feelings? Why couldn’t he fix his self-centered thinking and foul habit of speaking?
It was at that moment, while all sorts of thoughts were swirling.
“To be honest…”
Yoon Ki-hyun broke the silence and whispered softly.
“Every time I see Team Leader Jeong, I feel an inferiority complex.”
The inner feelings he confessed were familiar yet strange. He had thought the proud Yoon Ki-hyun would never admit it until the end.
“I have a chip on my shoulder. Toward people with a lot of money, like Team Leader Jeong.”
The man himself was exposing his emotions rawly with a face that was chillingly indifferent.
“That’s why I can’t date Team Leader Jeong. Dating is about giving and receiving, but honestly, the gap between us is too wide. To be precise, I’m too lacking.”
Yoon Ki-hyun laughed softly as he spoke, as if he were embarrassed.
He hadn’t intended to lay everything stolen contentbare like this, but he felt it was a necessary process to bring his relationship with Jeong Si-jun to a close.
He had to accept the crude and shabby inner feelings he had ignored for so long, making all sorts of excuses.
“As you can see, I’m also prone to severe self-pity. So what I’m saying is… I’m not that great of a person to be a partner.”
At the firm rejection delivered in a calm, almost persuasive tone, Jeong Si-jun slowly raised his head. He swallowed his words several times before squeezing out a childlike answer.
“…Why are you so sure without even trying to date?”
“You don’t necessarily have to try it yourself to know. And honestly, younger guys aren’t my type.”
“I’ll act like an adult from now on. I’ll stop swearing, and that’ll solve it… I won’t keep talking about my brother anymore…”
Even at such a simple, childish plea, Yoon Ki-hyun couldn’t bring himself to respond. It was because Jeong Si-jun’s voice, which failed to finish the sentence, was trembling slightly.
In the moment Yoon Ki-hyun hesitated at the voice that sounded as if he were crying, Jeong Si-jun lifted his head.
“Do you… hate me that much?”
Murmuring the tear-filled question, Jeong Si-jun dropped his gaze, unable to maintain eye contact.
Hate him that much? Regardless of whether he liked or disliked him, he didn’t want to judge. He simply didn’t want to.
Whether it was the silence that followed as he pondered the question, or some other signal, Jeong Si-jun stood up from his seat.
Then, he knelt on the floor.
“What are you doing? Get up, quickly.”
As a flustered Yoon Ki-hyun leaned forward, bracing himself against the bed, Jeong Si-jun slowly raised his head.
“…I was wrong about everything.”
A man, his face distorted with desperation, was looking at him and crying.
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