116 – VCR

Throughout our conversation, Hyun-wook kept checking my expression as if gauging my mood. The way his eyes scanned my face and body thoroughly showed clearly that he was concerned about me. That considerate side of him—checking if I was truly healthy and if I felt any discomfort during this meeting—was undoubtedly the Kang Hyun-wook I knew. Seeing him look after me so comprehensively made me feel almost apologetic for the unidentified emotion I had felt earlier.

Of course, I know very well that Hyun-wook is a good friend. Ridiculously, I felt those emotions despite knowing that. I know better than anyone that the past five years couldn't have been entirely happy for him. It was a time of sacrifice because of me. Even though I knew he was tied to Joo Min-hyeok as a hostage in my stead, I felt a pointless sense of resentment.

I think it was probably jealousy. Jealousy. If so, who was the jealousy directed toward—Hyun-wook or Joo Min-hyeok? Was I jealous of Hyun-wook, who must have slowly opened his heart to Joo Min-hyeok over five years, or was I jealous of Joo Min-hyeok, who monopolized my friend during the time I was gone? It was petty, but perhaps it was both. I think I felt envious that the people who belonged to me had come to trust each other while I was living in isolation.