BSW 55

55

“Huu…….”

Ho-eun shrank his neck and swallowed a groan. His whole body ached. Of course, the most painful place was a part he couldn’t bring himself to mention. He pursed his lips tightly, trying to adjust to the pain. The hands gripping the tub turned white, then red, repeatedly.

How much time passed like that? Finally, the pain became a little duller.

Unable to sit up on his own, Ho-eun leaned against the tub wall and splashed water on his arms and shoulders. His limbs were all red and blotchy, as if he had a skin disease. Most of the wounds were made by Tae-muk’s hands or mouth, and he couldn’t remember how the rest had happened.

“It hurts……”

Ho-eun murmured softly as he washed his body. He didn’t know how long it had been since he’d uttered the words, “It hurts.” He hated his own pain, and his pride was hurt, so he had always suppressed the words, but now he couldn’t bear it.

Ah, maybe it hasn’t been that long. He had said it hundreds of times under Tae-muk.

Instantly, Ho-eun closed his eyes tightly, recalling Tae-muk’s dark eyes looking down at him from the bed. Goosebumps rose on his forearms. Even though he was soaking in the steaming water, he felt cold.

“Haa…….”

Ho-eun wiped what might have been cold sweat or water from his forehead and sighed.

What should he do now? Should he continue to be with Tae-muk like this? How could he face him? What if this happened again? What if he had to take him again tonight, or tomorrow?

Thinking that far, Ho-eun suddenly chuckled.

Maybe he wouldn’t see Tae-muk again. Whatever the reason, he had acted presumptuously to his superior, so he might be kicked out. Or maybe he would be punished. What kind of punishment would it be? Would they use him as bait for a Devouring Ghoul?

As soon as he thought of the Devouring Ghoul, Ho-eun recalled the battle in the small village. Tae-muk had been injured, and many other soldiers had been injured as well, and he wondered if they were all right. Gil-sang, Dong-ja, Man-soo, or even the soldiers whose faces he knew but whose names he didn’t. Chilbok only heard his voice, but he seemed to be fine…….

Ho-eun groaned and leaned against the opposite wall of the tub. His buttocks hurt, and he couldn’t sit in one position for long.

As he recalled the faces he knew one by one, Ho-eun returned to the fundamental question.

Why didn’t Gil-sang, Dong-ja, or Man-soo stop Tae-muk from killing the yangban man?

‘If I die here protecting Young Master, another one will come. If that one dies, another one will come. Even if they all die, Young Master must remain still.’

‘Don’t get hurt, don’t die, and stay by our Captain’s side for a long, long time.’

Gil-sang’s words came to mind. It was a loyalty that Ho-eun, who knew nothing about Tae-muk, could not even begin to fathom. For Tae-muk’s sake, he would die protecting not Tae-muk, but Tae-muk’s Bondmate, him.

Did they all have such loyalty that they couldn’t bring themselves to oppose Tae-muk’s actions? Or was it so common that they were used to it?

The questions continued. But he couldn’t find the answers. It seemed that Ho-eun was missing something, but he had no idea what it was.

Anyway, a person killing another person is not right……. That’s a really big sin…….

“Haa…….”

Ho-eun sighed deeply after thinking for a long time. He was exhausted. He was tired. His body ached, and his heart ached. He had finally arrived at his desired ‘destination,’ but nothing lived up to Ho-eun’s expectations.

Ho-eun, who was wiping his face, buried his face in his palms.

“Father……. Mother…….”

His body and mind were weary, so he naturally thought of his parents. He missed them. He missed Deok-woo and Nureongi, too. He longed for the people who cherished him the most in the world. He wanted to go back to the house where they were. It was an irresponsible thought, but he couldn’t help it. Tae-muk didn’t care about him.

He regretted becoming a Bondmate.

He hated being Tae-muk’s Bondmate.

He hated that Tae-muk was his God of War.

If he could, he wanted to undo it. He wanted to turn everything back.

“Haa…….”

Ho-eun sighed again and closed his eyes tightly. He couldn’t tell if what was flowing down his cheeks was water or tears.

“Young Master, I left your clothes outside.”

Ho-eun heard Chilbok’s voice in his hazy mind. He only heard the voice. He seemed to be saying something, but he couldn’t hear it well. He wanted to answer, but his mouth wouldn’t move either.

“Young Master. Are, are you very angry? But still, don’t, don’t hate Captain too much. Captain also has, uh, uh, his reasons……. So, um…….”

He couldn’t tell if the intermittent words were due to his ears opening and closing, or if that was how Chilbok was speaking.

“No, I’m sorry. I was being presumptuous…….”

Chilbok apologized. It was an apology for a reason he couldn’t understand.

“Young Master. Shall I bring you some water to drink?”

Ho-eun answered no to Chilbok’s next words. He didn’t know if he really answered or if it was just his imagination.

“But haven’t you been in there too long? The water must be cold. Shall I heat it up again?”

Ho-eun tilted his head. He didn’t really tilt his head, he just thought he did. He didn’t understand what Chilbok was saying. Water? What water was he talking about?

Ah, right. He was in the tub. But how long had he been in there? No, when did he get out? He didn’t remember getting out. Come to think of it, everything was black. Why was it black? Was it because he had his eyes closed? Why was he closing his eyes? Did he fall asleep without realizing it?

His thoughts flowed aimlessly, like water, without any direction.

“Young Master?”

He heard Chilbok’s call, but he couldn’t answer.

“Young Master.”

It was still the same.

“Young Master. I, I’m going in. I’m going in!”

Chilbok shouted. Soon, something fluttered and rustled, and he vaguely saw a figure approaching.

“Young Master!”

Chilbok’s next voice sounded like a scream. But even that voice wasn’t loud. It was very dull and muffled. It was strange. He could see him in front of him, but his voice was so far away.

Then soon after, or maybe some time later.

“Choi Ho-eun!”

A heavy voice called his name. And only after his body was lifted by a large hand did he realize that he had been buried in the water.

Ho-eun vaguely realized that he had another fever. And it was one of the worst fevers he had ever had. Even in his unconscious state, he could feel his body was hot and his breath was warm. It felt like he was in a giant steamer, being steamed thoroughly.

Ho-eun frowned slightly, without realizing it, at the rising heat. Someone’s hand touched his forehead.

It was a very large, firm, and moderately cool hand. Ho-eun’s brow smoothed out as he felt the heat subside.

But whose hand was this……. It wasn’t his father’s hand, his mother’s hand, or his brothers’ hands. Of course, it wasn’t Deok-woo’s either. Was it a stranger’s? But the touch felt strangely familiar.

“He has a fever. It’s not that serious.”

The voice sank from above. Someone seemed to be looking at Ho-eun. The voice was as familiar as the hand, but he couldn’t tell who it was in his unconscious state.

“……Serious?”

The owner of the voice touched Ho-eun’s forehead as if pressing down on it and corrected himself.

“Oh my, of course it’s serious. If it gets any more serious, he’ll die, he’ll die.”

Someone answered the question. It was an unfamiliar voice. It seemed to be a man, middle-aged, or perhaps even older.

“……Die?”

The familiar voice hardened. At the same time, the hand that had been on his forehead fell away. Ho-eun felt a sense of regret. As soon as his hand fell, his body temperature began to rise again.

“If the old man applies the medicine well, he’ll be fine. Why would he die?”

“When did I say that! I said that all I can do now is apply the medicine.”

“That’s the same thing.”

“Oh my, oh my! I’m going crazy! Do you think he’ll get better just by applying a little medicine? Huh?”

“…….”

“The Young Master took all of —’s fever, with this small, thin body, how can he get better easily? Will he get better? How can this precious Young Master endure the fever that even — was struggling with?”

One word in the middle was muted. So Ho-eun couldn’t tell who the ‘old man’ was questioning.

“Oh my, look at him closing his mouth again at times like this. It’s frustrating, frustrating.”

“…….”

“I told you to just smash things like you usually do, why did you do this to a person, especially to the Bondmate you found with so much difficulty, I told you-!”

The last syllable was as sharp as a gong. Ho-eun shrank his neck slightly at the painful feeling in his ears. But somehow he knew, and the familiar bass voice criticized the old man.

“Quiet. He’ll wake up.”

Then the old man said in a much subdued voice.

“People with such weak bodies must be careful, very careful. Especially if the fever gets worse-.”

“He’ll have a seizure, or his brain will be damaged.”

“……Yes? Ah, yes, that’s right. But how do you know that, —?”

“Someone taught me.”

“Who?”

“You don’t need to know. So, what should I do? Do something. Quickly.”

“First, let’s cool down his body temperature. Get some cold water, cold water.”

“Did you hear that?”

The direction of the low voice changed. It seemed to be speaking to someone far away. He faintly heard a few people running busily somewhere in the distance.