BSW 54

54

More than anything else, he desperately needed that. His entire body was sticky and rough with all sorts of fluids. It also stung as if Tae-muk’s hands were still gripping him.

‘The garrison is more comfortable to sleep in, and the food is much better. Oh, and you can take a hot bath. You won’t find it too bad to stay there.’

He remembered what Gil-sang had said while coming here. A hot bath. That alone would help him recover his tattered body and mind, even if just a little.

“……”

But Tae-muk didn’t answer. Ho-eun grew anxious at the silence. He had ignored his words throughout the sexual affair. Could it be… that he was going to do it again? It couldn’t be…

Ho-eun wrapped his trembling arms around his own forearms. He awkwardly gathered his legs, which were mottled with Tae-muk’s handprints and bite marks. As he huddled his limbs together, his already small body became even smaller.

“If I’m no longer… needed…”

Ho-eun trailed off.

Just let me go.

He wanted to say those words, but he couldn’t bring himself to utter them. He feared Tae-muk would grab his hair, accusing him of still being out of his mind and acting presumptuously. He feared being thrown back onto this black bed like a pit. He feared being crushed and weeping bitterly.

But then.

“……”

Tae-muk got up. Ho-eun flinched, his shoulders trembling, and lowered his head even further. His hair, unbound without the Hair Tie, fell forward in disarray. Using it as a shield, he glanced at Tae-muk. Ho-eun’s eyes were filled with terror.

Tae-muk snatched the Durumagi hanging on the pole as if grabbing it, and then left the tent. Beyond the lifted tent flap, it was dark and silent. He couldn’t tell if it was night or day.

Unlike the place he had been sleeping until now, the tent here did not let in any light. It didn’t sway in the wind, and he couldn’t hear any outside noise. So Ho-eun couldn’t gauge how long the sexual affair had lasted.

“……”

After Tae-muk left, Ho-eun sat blankly on the bed. Truly blankly, without any thoughts.

Before, he would have worried about whether he could go wash, whether he could get dressed, whether Tae-muk was angry with him, what would happen if he was abandoned like this, but now he didn’t feel anything. It would be more accurate to say that he didn’t even have the energy to do so. So much so that he didn’t even have the will to put on clothes and was just crumpled up naked.

How long had he been like that? Ho-eun was in a vague state, neither asleep nor unconscious, with his eyes closed. Then, he heard a faint sound at the entrance of the tent.

“……”

Ho-eun’s eyes snapped open. His entire body instantly stiffened. Had Tae-muk come back? Why? Was he going to climb on top of him again? Terrified, he frantically looked around. He was looking for a place to hide. But then.

“Um… Young Master?”

A youthful, sweet voice was heard. It wasn’t Tae-muk’s voice. Ho-eun’s brow smoothed out.

“…Chilbok?”

“Yes. It’s me.”

“Ah… Just, just a moment…”

Ho-eun was about to get off the bed to get dressed, but he remembered his condition and gave up. He wouldn’t be able to stand, let alone walk, in this state. But he had to cover his body somehow, what should he do…

As he was flustered, Chilbok’s voice was heard again.

“Please be comfortable. I won’t come in. I was told not to come in…”

“Ah, okay…”

He didn’t know who had told him not to come in, but it was a relief. Still, Ho-eun reached under the bed and grabbed the crumpled clothes. They were all torn, but he thought he could at least cover his body with them.

“Haa…”

Ho-eun swallowed a groan and forced himself to put on the clothes. He fastened the Jeogori, which kept opening because it was torn, and pressed down on the crumpled parts with his palms as if ironing them.

He didn’t have the confidence to tie his hair again, so he roughly combed it with his fingers and swept it to one side. He thought it was fortunate that the inside of the tent was dark.

By the time he had managed to maintain some semblance of dignity, beads of cold sweat were forming on his forehead. He was breathless, and his vision was blurred. A sudden dizziness came over him, and he grabbed his forehead.

“I’ve prepared the bathwater.”

Chilbok said from beyond the tent.

“Ah… Thank you.”

Ho-eun, who had unknowingly smiled, suddenly stiffened. His voice was a mess. The exhausted voice was unfamiliar even though it was his own. It even felt like a monster’s voice. He was amazed that Chilbok was talking to him so casually while he was speaking in such a voice.

Ho-eun unconsciously swallowed hard. His throat hurt as if it were being torn apart. He grimaced and clutched his neck, suppressing the pain, while Chilbok continued to speak.

“After you wash up, I’ll bring, no, I’ll serve you a meal.”

At those words, Ho-eun smiled faintly. He didn’t know if it was strange that he was smiling in this situation, or if it was Chilbok who was making him smile. Ho-eun shook his head, even though Chilbok couldn’t see him, and refused.

“It’s okay.”

“But you haven’t eaten anything for two days, shouldn’t you eat something? What if you collapse again…”

At those words, Ho-eun quickly looked at the entrance of the tent.

“…Two days?”

Two days had passed. It didn’t make sense. He knew a long time had passed, but he thought it had only been about one night, but two days. Tae-muk had crushed him for two days? He had cried and struggled on this black bed for two days?

“……”

Ho-eun’s mouth opened slightly. He looked down at the bed he was sitting on. Suddenly, this bed felt very disgusting. He jumped off it as if escaping. But as soon as his feet touched the ground, he collapsed with a thud.

“Agh…”

For a moment, Ho-eun felt like his whole body was breaking. A tremendous pain, starting from where he had fallen, engulfed his entire body. It was so painful that tears welled up in his eyes.

“Young Master? Is something wrong?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

Ho-eun pretended to be fine, lest Chilbok come inside. He wondered if Chilbok would be fooled by his raspy voice, but fortunately, the tent was not lifted. Ho-eun bit his torn lip and suppressed his groans. Now, not only his forehead but also the back of his neck was covered in cold sweat.

Whether he knew it or not, Chilbok continued to talk to him.

“Is there anything you want to eat? I’ll make it for you.”

“No, there isn’t.”

“We have meat too. And fish.”

“I really don’t want anything…”

“Then shall I prepare some Herbal medicine?”

His voice was full of concern. Ho-eun could easily imagine what kind of expression Chilbok was making. He would be wrinkling his soft face like an old man, carrying a whole load of worries.

Ho-eun, pale and exhausted, leaned against the bed. Then, with a faint smile, he said.

“Chilbok.”

“Yes?”

“I’m really okay. So go away.”

Ho-eun lied well, even with his voice cracking. He faintly heard Chilbok sigh.

“…Yes, then I’ll be going.”

He heard Chilbok leaving. Ho-eun, who had been listening quietly, urgently called out to him.

“But Chilbok!”

“Yes?”

“Where… do I take a bath?”

Tae-muk’s tent, or rather, the military camp, had a completely different appearance from the tents he had stayed in so far. As Chilbok had told him, he kept walking, and tents kept appearing.

As far as he could guess, there was one huge tent like a mountain, and inside it, several large and small tents were divided like rooms. He finally understood why the tent with the bed didn’t let in any light and why it didn’t sway in the wind.

Outside the tent with the bed was a tent where Tae-muk’s personal belongings were placed. A military uniform with a general’s epaulettes was neatly folded, and the Crimson Rain Brigade cloak was also hanging there. There was also a desk and chair, a cabinet, and weapons such as bows, swords, and spears.

The space was large and spacious, but the furniture was… well, how should he put it, it didn’t quite suit the title of general. There wasn’t even a folding screen… to put it nicely, it was simple, and to put it bluntly, it was shabby. It felt like they had brought in something cheap from somewhere.

From there, the tent split into two branches, one leading to a place where Tae-muk and other officers seemed to be holding strategy meetings, and the other to the bathroom.

“……”

Ho-eun lifted the bathroom tent. The strong smell of water and the thick steam greeted him. The space was brightly lit with many oil lamps, and in the center was a round tub made of wood. Seeing that it was full of hot water with steam rising from it, he already felt the pain easing a little.

Ho-eun grabbed the large and small furniture nearby as if using them as canes and limped towards the tub. And when he reached the tub, he began to take off his clothes with trembling hands. The clothes, torn and ripped here and there, fell down as soon as he let go, without even needing to be taken off. Ho-eun was instantly naked.

He wondered if it was okay to be so exposed outside like this, what if Chilbok or Tae-muk came in, but he decided to just accept it. He didn’t have the strength to move his body anymore.

“Ah…”

Ho-eun, who was carefully immersing his body in the hot water, completely frowned. The wounds were unbearably painful. The large and small wounds that had not yet scabbed over screamed sharply. Thin streaks of blood rose like heat haze in the clear water.