By Zephyria 
39
Ho-eun couldn’t easily come to his senses. It was because the man’s face still lingered before his eyes. His pounding heart wouldn’t calm down.
“General…”
But the more he called Tae-muk, the less his body trembled. He knew that as long as he was there, that man wouldn’t be able to do anything to him. Tae-muk was the strongest person in the world, and he always saved him.
Clinging desperately to Tae-muk, Ho-eun returned to reality only after a long while.
“Uh…”
He opened his eyes and looked around. The cool blue unique to dawn was coloring the whole world. Bamboo surrounded him on all sides, and beneath it were Crimson Rain Brigade soldiers sleeping haphazardly. Ho-eun’s spot was empty between Dong-ja, who was lying on her side because of her injured shoulder, and Gil-sang, who was asleep with his arms crossed.
Only then did Ho-eun realize what the situation was. There had been a battle in the bamboo forest, the soldiers were injured, they couldn’t find a place to pitch a tent, they all huddled together to sleep, and Tae-muk had disappeared.
Ho-eun raised his head sharply and met Tae-muk’s gaze.
“Are you just coming now?”
In the early morning? What were you doing all this time? Fighting Devouring Ghouls? Alone? Ho-eun stared at him with a face full of questions, but suddenly Tae-muk frowned deeply.
“Why are you sprawled out sleeping in a place like this?”
It was a question that felt more like an accusation. Tae-muk glared at the spot where Ho-eun had been lying just a moment ago. Ho-eun’s head had been touching Dong-ja Noonim’s back, and Ho-eun’s shoulder had been touching Gil-sang’s thigh. Anyone would think Ho-eun was their Bondmate.
“Ah, they said it’s safer to sleep together…”
Ho-eun replied honestly with an innocent face. At that, Tae-muk twisted his lips crookedly. Ho-eun stared at Tae-muk like that. Then, belatedly, he realized that he was being held in his arms. His cheeks flushed instantly.
“Oh, ah, p-please, put me down.”
He couldn’t quite remember how he had ended up in Tae-muk’s arms. Could it be that he had hugged him first? But how? Did he jump up like a rabbit in his sleep? Whatever the case, it was definitely embarrassing.
Ho-eun lowered the arms that had been around Tae-muk’s neck, preparing to get down.
“Uh…”
Tae-muk held him and began to stride somewhere. In an instant, Ho-eun’s face turned pale. He wondered if Tae-muk was finally going to abandon him. The thought that he might be abandoned deep in the mountains made his heart sink.
“G-General.”
Ho-eun called Tae-muk with a frightened face. But Tae-muk just kept walking without answering. Fortunately, his steps stopped before long.
Tae-muk put Ho-eun down in a place overgrown with bamboo and tall grass. He didn’t throw him or fling him away. He literally just put him down. Then he sat down next to Ho-eun as well.
“…”
After that, there were no particular words.
“…”
So Ho-eun kept his mouth shut as well. Sitting with his knees bent, he rubbed his eyes, which were still sleepy. The blue dawn was cold, so he fastened his coat. As he did, he glanced at Tae-muk out of the corner of his eye.
There was blood splattered on Tae-muk’s cheeks and neck, where he had closed his eyes. Whether it was from the battle during the day, or from the night, whether it was Devouring Ghoul blood, or perhaps even his blood, he couldn’t know anything.
‘Does the God of War… die too?’
‘Of course they die. We’re people too.’
‘They die a lot, they die every day.’
Ho-eun, recalling the words of Dong-ja and Man-soo, asked in his unique, gentle voice.
“A-Are you hurt?”
“…”
But Tae-muk didn’t answer. Ho-eun pouted his lips. He never answers when asked anything. Fine, I won’t talk to you anymore either. I won’t answer either. He made such a childish decision. But his gaze kept turning to Tae-muk.
His face, with his eyes closed, looked drier than usual. No, should he say he looked tired? He must be tired, having been fighting Devouring Ghouls alone in the forest until this early morning. Once the thought reached that point, he felt sorry for Tae-muk again.
Ho-eun, fidgeting with his fingers on his knees, asked in a small voice that was barely audible.
“S-Shall I hold your hand?”
It wouldn’t matter if Tae-muk ignored him. It wouldn’t matter either if he was asleep. That was the feeling with which he asked. But Tae-muk slowly opened his eyes and looked at Ho-eun.
“What?”
“W-Well, Man-soo Hyungnim was holding Dong-ja Noonim’s hand, and I was wondering if that would be helpful…”
“…”
“If it’s helpful, I c-can hold it…”
Ho-eun clenched and unclenched his hands. In the blue light of dawn, his already white hands shone like jade. Tae-muk stared intently at Ho-eun like that. Then, suddenly, he raised one corner of his mouth in a smirk.
“You haven’t even made eye contact all day, but you’re going to hold my hand?”
At those words, Ho-eun flinched. In fact, after ejaculating in Tae-muk’s hand last night, he couldn’t bring himself to look at him, so he left the tent, got ready, and desperately avoided him while crossing the bamboo forest, until just before he met the Devouring Ghoul. He never thought he would have noticed.
“That’s because, uh, last night was embarrassing…”
Recalling that time, his cheeks flushed again. Ho-eun swept his cheeks with the palms of his hands, but Tae-muk, tilting his head, said shamelessly.
“Last night?”
“Yes, last night…”
“What happened last night?”
“The General… did that, you know.”
“I did what?”
“Well, you… my below…”
Ho-eun stopped talking and shut his mouth tightly. Then he looked at the soldiers not far away. Fortunately, they were all sound asleep. Their snoring was very loud.
“Below what.”
“…It’s nothing.”
Ho-eun turned his head sharply. He heard Tae-muk let out something that was either a sneer or a snort. Ho-eun was a little annoyed by that mockery. He clenched his hands tightly and looked at Tae-muk again, or rather, at Tae-muk’s hand. Then he just grabbed it.
It was a kind of stubbornness. Tae-muk also touched his below, so there was no reason why he couldn’t touch him.
“…”
Tae-muk’s eyebrows slowly rose. He sneered again and opened his mouth to say something. But Ho-eun, with a surprised face, preempted him.
“General, how are you always so hot?”
Tae-muk’s hand was too hot. It was like holding a ball of fire. No, even holding fire wouldn’t be hotter than this. The scorching heat was more strange than amazing.
“Is the body temperature of all Gods of War this high?”
“…”
“I don’t think Private Oh Gil-sang was this hot…”
Ho-eun mumbled, fiddling with Tae-muk’s hand. But at that moment, Tae-muk’s brow furrowed fiercely.
“You’ve even held Oh Gil-sang’s hand?”
“It’s not that, but he always helps me get on the horse, so I know.”
Gil-sang is a kind person. Even though I’m not good at anything, which must be annoying, he always held my waist and arms whenever I got on the horse.
“Are you such a fool that you still can’t get on a horse by yourself?”
“…I’m clumsy.”
Ho-eun said as if he was wronged. For someone as weak as him, riding a horse was as difficult as climbing a cliff. Tae-muk, the strongest person in the world, would never know.
“You must have grown up very precious.”
“It’s not that…”
Ho-eun tried to say something to Tae-muk’s sarcastic words, but stopped.
He understood his meanness and coldness. It was only natural that someone as strong as him would dislike a Bondmate as weak and useless as him.
Just as the partner he had imagined was not Tae-muk, the partner Tae-muk had been hoping for was not him either. He had only manifested a few days ago, but Tae-muk had been waiting for his Bondmate for over 10 years, so how could he not be? He probably didn’t even meet a fingernail’s worth of his expectations.
Ho-eun became a little gloomy. But he didn’t let go of Tae-muk’s hand. Because his hand, which felt like it would burn him, felt painful.
“Perhaps… you’ve caught a fever? Are you not feeling well anywhere? Is your vision blurry, or do you not have any strength in your body?”
Ho-eun asked seriously, as if he were a doctor.
“…”
Instead of answering, Tae-muk looked down at Ho-eun’s hand. There was a bluish bruise on his white, slender wrist. It wasn’t left by Tae-muk. All he had left on Ho-eun was the scab on the corner of his mouth.
Tae-muk’s eyes narrowed. He was acting so high and mighty like a nobleman, but he was sleeping tangled up with some guys. And he was offering his wrist to a guy who was going to die. It was very annoying.
Whether he knew it or not, Ho-eun continued to worry, oblivious to Tae-muk’s increasingly furrowed brow.
“You shouldn’t take a fever lightly. If it’s severe, you can have seizures, or brain damage, or even die. You have to be careful.”
The sentences that Ho-eun spat out, syllable by syllable, were scattered here and there like grains. Tae-muk turned his head to the other side, feeling as if it was tickling his ear.
“Shut up, it’s noisy.”
“…”
At that, Ho-eun glared at Tae-muk with his flounder eyes. Even if he hated him, he was worried, so how could he be like this…?
Angry, Ho-eun tried to let go of Tae-muk’s hand. But his hand wouldn’t come loose. It was because Tae-muk had been holding Ho-eun’s hand since some point. Their fingers were intertwined.
Ho-eun, with his mouth tightly shut, put strength into his wrist, but Tae-muk didn’t budge. Ho-eun looked at Tae-muk to tell him to let go. But.
“…”
Tae-muk, leaning his head against the bamboo, had his eyes closed. That appearance looked strangely… comfortable. There was still blood on his cheeks, and he was still tired, but it was definitely not as much as before.
“…”
Ho-eun blinked slowly.
Perhaps… is this action effective?
Am I being useful as his Bondmate right now?
Thinking that far, Ho-eun grabbed Tae-muk’s large hand with both hands. Very tightly, with strength, and with care.
The sun was rising from beyond the dense bamboo forest.