By Zephyria 
25
“I’ll enjoy the meal.”
Ho-eun smiled faintly and thanked the cook. The cook flinched.
“Ah, yes. If, if you need more, please tell me.”
“Okay.”
It didn’t seem like he would need more, but Ho-eun nodded anyway.
After the cook left, Ho-eun looked down at the giant rice ball, then turned his head to look at Tae-muk, who was neither too far nor too close.
Surrounded by soldiers, Tae-muk was eating a rice ball with his usual expressionless face. Ho-eun’s eyebrows rose almost imperceptibly at the sight.
Tae-muk is a general. A general is a very rare rank, and at the same time, a very high rank. Not just a high rank, but at the very top of the military hierarchy. On the battlefield, it meant he could be considered a king.
So, it was only right that he should be served a separate meal. At least a six-dish meal for every meal. Instead, he was sitting with his subordinates, eating rice balls.
He had felt it before, but the Crimson Rain Brigade felt less like an army and more like a giant family. A large family where even distant cousins lived together. Just the fact that everyone called Tae-muk “Captain” instead of “General” showed that.
How long have they been together? How close are they? They risk their lives together every day, so maybe they are closer than the family Ho-eun conceptually thought of.
As he was lost in thought, Tae-muk happened to look up. Startled, Ho-eun quickly turned his head, lest he make eye contact. Then he tried to eat his rice ball. But.
“Ah……”
The moment he opened his mouth, the corner of his lip twinged, and he felt a sharp pain. The wound he had gotten from receiving Tae-muk’s member into his mouth had not yet fully healed.
It couldn’t have healed. Just when the flesh was about to heal, he would suck on Tae-muk’s genitals, and just when a scab was about to form, they would kiss, so the wound only got worse with each passing day.
“Ugh……”
Ho-eun grimaced, pressing his sleeve against his lips. Someone was watching him, but Ho-eun didn’t notice.
After suppressing the pain, Ho-eun turned the rice ball this way and that, then bit off a small piece of the least pointy part.
The rice ball was made by mixing seaweed into rice and shaping it into a ball, with stir-fried kimchi inside, and it was quite delicious. But after a few bites, his throat felt blocked.
Just then, another cook handed out a ladle of miso soup to each person. There were hardly any solids, but it was warm enough to steam. For Ho-eun, whose mouth and throat were sore, it was more welcome than the rice ball.
Ho-eun ate the food he was given diligently. Not because he was hungry. Just because it felt like he should. It felt like it was the proper thing to do for the Crimson Rain Brigade, the cooks, and Tae-muk.
But when he had eaten about half of the giant rice ball.
“Haa……”
All the strength drained from his body. He couldn’t eat any more. He didn’t usually eat much anyway, and since he was sick, he had even less appetite.
More than anything, eating alone was a little sad.
He had never eaten alone in his life. He had always eaten with his parents, or his brothers, or Deok-woo. As he pressed his lips tightly together and shoved the dry rice ball into his mouth, he felt like he was suffocating.
“Um……”
Ho-eun, holding the more than half-eaten rice ball, glanced around. The soldiers had already devoured their giant rice balls. Some were even scraping the seaweed or kimchi stuck to their hands with their teeth, as if they weren’t full.
Would it be weird to offer them this rice ball? Deok-woo would have gladly eaten what he left behind, but it wouldn’t be polite to do that to others, would it? Should he ask anyway?
Ho-eun hesitated and decided not to. It didn’t seem like anyone would welcome it.
“I’ll eat it later.”
Ho-eun muttered to himself and placed the rice ball on his handkerchief. But his hand was trembling. Ho-eun looked at his palm.
Red lines were drawn across his white palm. They were rein marks. He wasn’t used to riding horses yet, so he had been holding the reins with all his might, leaving those marks.
It didn’t hurt particularly, but seeing his trembling hand, it seemed like he had overdone it. Ho-eun pressed and massaged his palm. Then, he suddenly noticed a handful of flowers blooming at his feet. They were so small and had such beautiful colors that they naturally caught his eye.
“Bellflower……”
Ho-eun gently stroked the purple flower with his fingertips. His mother liked flowers, and as he followed her around looking at various flowers, Ho-eun had come to know quite a few kinds.
Instead of picking the flower, Ho-eun kindly lowered his head to smell it. It was then, as a faint smile spread across his lips, that a dark shadow fell over his head.
“Looks like the meal doesn’t suit your taste.”
It was Tae-muk.
“Ah, G-General.”
Startled, Ho-eun quickly stood up.
“It’s okay. Sit down.”
Tae-muk stopped him. At those words, Ho-eun awkwardly sat back down. Then he realized that Tae-muk’s gaze was directed at the rice ball.
“No, it’s delicious. I’m just full……”
Ho-eun lowered his chin slightly. He was ashamed that he couldn’t even finish one rice ball. A man should be able to eat anything well.
“……I’ll finish it.”
Ho-eun said, bowing his head. Honestly, he was just saying it. He didn’t have the confidence to eat it all, and it probably wouldn’t be possible in reality. But Tae-muk didn’t leave. As if he was watching Ho-eun eat.
“……”
Ho-eun kept glancing at Tae-muk, and reluctantly picked up the rice ball. But his trembling hand dropped it. The rice that fell made a thud- and broke apart. Leaves, grass, and dirt were all over the rice grains that had broken into large and small pieces.
“Ah, I’m sorry……”
Ho-eun looked up at Tae-muk with a flustered expression.
“……”
Tae-muk frowned slightly, then turned and walked away. Ho-eun stared at him as he walked away with an uneasy expression. It seemed like Tae-muk was angry, and he had to hope it was just his imagination.
In the early evening, Ho-eun was sitting upright in Tae-muk’s tent. They hadn’t encountered any Devouring Ghouls all day, and they had found a good place to spend the night, so they had set up the tent early.
Everyone was eating dinner, but Ho-eun went straight into Tae-muk’s tent. The rice ball he had eaten for lunch was still in his stomach, so he couldn’t eat anything.
“Haa……”
Ho-eun sighed and touched his forehead. He could feel the heat. The fever was spreading rapidly as night approached. He needed to rest, but he couldn’t rest during the day because they were moving, and at night……. Anyway, he couldn’t rest at night either, so he had no time to recover.
It would be nice to lie down for a while. But it wasn’t his space, it was Tae-muk’s space, so he couldn’t lie down as he pleased.
“Um……”
But maybe he could just sit comfortably for a moment. Tae-muk wouldn’t come until late at night anyway. It had always been like that. Just as he was thinking, “Just for a little while-”
Flap.
The entrance of the tent fluttered and Tae-muk appeared. Ho-eun’s back straightened as he had been slouching down, surprised by his unexpected appearance.
“Oh, you’re here.”
Instantly, the color drained from Ho-eun’s feverish face. Just thinking about having to do lewd acts again made his already stuffy stomach feel twisted.
But what could he do? That was what he had to do.
Ho-eun licked the corner of his mouth with his tongue, which had opened without him realizing it. Tae-muk strode towards Ho-eun and squatted down in front of him. Then he placed something heavy down with a thud.
It was a rice ball. It looked like the same one he had eaten for lunch.
“Eat.”
Tae-muk said.
“……”
Ho-eun stared blankly at the white, giant rice ball. Was he giving it to him because he hadn’t eaten dinner? If so, he would be grateful, but…… Ho-eun was not in a state to eat this now.
“Thank you for the thought. But can I eat it in the morning? My stomach is a little upset-.”
“No.”
“……Pardon?”
“Eat it now.”
“……”
At that moment, Ho-eun sensed a foreboding feeling. His spine turned cold, and his palms were sweating. Tae-muk gestured at the rice ball and said again.
“Eat it, quickly.”
“……”
Ho-eun’s eyelashes fluttered. “Bring a separate meal.” He had never asked for such a thing. The only food he had wanted here was a bowl of thin gruel. He felt wronged. But Ho-eun knew. Tae-muk would not listen to his grievances.
Ho-eun, who had become even paler than before, slowly picked up the rice ball.
“……I’ll enjoy the meal.”
After giving a quiet thank you, he bit off the corner of the rice ball. The rice ball tasted exactly the same as the one he had eaten for lunch. The size and weight were the same as well. No, it felt even heavier. Ho-eun felt like he was holding a giant rock.
Ho-eun chewed and swallowed the rice grains in his mouth. Tae-muk was staring at Ho-eun with his eyes wide open.
Ho-eun bit, chewed, and swallowed the rice ball again. After repeating that action about a dozen times, half of the rice ball was gone. And Ho-eun’s stomach was full.