By Zephyria 
18
A bad person.
Ho-eun inadvertently had that thought, squeezed his eyes shut, and then opened them. To have such impious thoughts about his God of War. Moreover, he was a hero who saved the country.
“Haa……”
Ho-eun, sighing in frustration, frowned at his throbbing lips. He touched his lips with his fingertips, and the surface was rough, not smooth. In some places, a sharp, stinging sensation shot up.
“Aya……”
Ho-eun, groaning unconsciously, was startled by his own voice. His voice…….
“Ah, ah……”
He threw his voice into the air. His voice was not quite right. His throat was full of prickly, bristling thorns. The tearing pain was a bonus.
Ho-eun kept swallowing, trying to adjust to the pain, when he heard several presences from beyond the tent. It seemed everyone was preparing to leave, now that the sun had risen. Ho-eun felt he should hurry out as well.
He placed his hands on the ground and stood up. But several strands of hair cascaded down his face. The braided hair had come undone by Tae-muk’s rough touch.
Ho-eun knelt back down as he was. It was not proper for a nobleman to go outside in disarray. He untied the Hair Tie and began to re-tie his hair.
But it was not easy, as it was his first time braiding his hair alone. His mother, or his father, or even Deok-woo had always done it for him. He was annoyed by the strands of hair that kept slipping through his fingers. Without a mirror, he couldn’t even tell if he was tying it correctly.
“……”
After struggling with his hair for a while, Ho-eun dropped his arm with a thud, feeling a heavy ache in his forearm. As he did, tears welled up. Ho-eun himself didn’t know why he felt so sad, wronged, and resentful.
Sniffle…….
Large tears fell from Ho-eun’s eyes. He wanted to just collapse and cry all day. But he knew he couldn’t.
He was a man.
A grown man, a true man, doesn’t cry over such things.
Ho-eun dabbed away his tears with the silk sleeve, then began to braid his hair again. And he wrapped the Hair Tie around and tied it tightly. So that it would never come undone again.
“Hoo……”
He stood up and took a deep breath. Then he straightened his clothes, dusted off the dirt from his sleeves, smoothed his parched face as if washing it, and stepped out of the tent.
As he lifted the cloth that hung in place of a door, the bright sunlight poured in. Ho-eun closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the warm sunlight, and then quickly lowered his head, feeling a soldier rushing past him. He was worried that someone might see his torn lips.
Ho-eun, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, naturally moved his feet to a secluded spot, though no one had told him to. He just wanted to avoid and hide from everything.
“……I’m hungry.”
Ho-eun, carefully walking around tree roots and stones, muttered unconsciously. Then, startled by what he had said, he stopped abruptly. To feel hunger at this moment, he couldn’t believe it.
But he was really hungry. He had barely eaten for two days, so it was only natural.
Ho-eun, pursing his lips, stroked his stomach, which was even thinner than before.
“Uh……”
A savory smell of food wafted from somewhere.
Steam was rising from a large pot, big enough to boil Ho-eun in. It didn’t seem to be cooking. The pot was placed on the grass, not over a fire. Those presumed to be cooks were also busy organizing the tableware.
“……”
Ho-eun hesitantly circled around them. He couldn’t bring himself to ask for food. He had never uttered such words before. He couldn’t help it if they called him a pretentious nobleman, but he was really embarrassed and ashamed.
But he couldn’t keep starving like this. And Tae-muk had said yesterday.
‘You seem to think you’re still a precious young master here, but don’t be mistaken. You’re just my Bondmate.’
That was right. He was no longer a young master who sat quietly in his room, passively receiving meals.
Ho-eun took a deep breath and mustered the courage to approach the cooks. It was a bit cowardly to choose the youngest-looking cook, one who seemed more like a boy than a young man.
“Um……, could I possibly get some food?”
Ho-eun cleared his throat as soon as he finished speaking. He was bothered by his cracked voice. But the cook immediately raised his ladle and turned around to face Ho-eun.
“Aish, which hyung is coming now!”
Instantly, Ho-eun thought he was going to be hit by the ladle, so he pulled his chin in and squeezed his eyes shut. But since he didn’t feel any particular pain, he cautiously opened his eyes and saw the cook staring intently at Ho-eun’s face. The cook rolled his eyes around, then slowly lowered the ladle.
“……You’re late.”
“Ah, sorry. I woke up a bit, a bit late……”
Ho-eun scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.
“I only have scorched rice water left, what should I do?”
The cook struck the pot with the end of the ladle with a clang! In the pot, swollen grains of rice floated in murky water. Ho-eun quickly nodded.
“That’s enough.”
It was uncomfortable to eat rice with his torn throat, so scorched rice water was actually welcome. The cook scooped a large ladle of scorched rice water into a round wooden bowl. Then he swept the bottom of the pot and scooped up the rice grains once more. He dropped a spoon into the bowl and handed it to Ho-eun.
“Here you go.”
“Thank you.”
Ho-eun carefully received it. The bowl was quite heavy, and he already felt warmth spreading through his stomach.
“Eat quickly. We have to leave soon.”
“Okay.”
Ho-eun looked around and spotted a tree in a secluded spot far away. It seemed like it would be okay to eat under there without being too noticeable. He was about to take a step when.
“Where are you going? Sit here and eat. So we can clean up right away.”
The cook said, handing him a small chair.
“Ah……, okay. I understand.”
Ho-eun awkwardly sat down there. The chair was so low that it was no different from sitting on the ground.
Ho-eun didn’t pick up the spoon right away, but looked around again. He was looking for a place to put the bowl. It wasn’t proper to eat while holding the bowl. But there was no dining table or serving table nearby. It seemed they didn’t have one to begin with, not just that they had cleaned up after mealtime.
“……”
Ho-eun hesitated for a moment, then decided to just hold the bowl and eat. If everyone ate like that here, then Ho-eun had to do the same.
He blew on the scorched rice water, which was still steaming hot, and ate it. The scorched rice water didn’t have much taste, but it was still warm and savory. His shoulders naturally relaxed as his stomach warmed up. It felt like someone was patching up his torn throat.
Ho-eun moved the spoon slowly, but steadily. Then, as he was pressing down on the clumps of rice with his spoon to break them apart. Suddenly, a handful of finely shredded braised beef came tumbling into the bowl.
Startled, Ho-eun quickly raised his head and saw the cook standing there.
“Eat some of that too.”
“Oh……. I’m okay……”
“It’s a secret from the other hyungs. I’m giving it to you secretly because you’re our Captain’s Bondmate.”
After saying that, he sucked on his fingers, which were stained with soy sauce. Then he sniffed his nose for no reason and continued cleaning up.
“……”
Ho-eun stared silently at the meat. This kind of braised beef was commonly served on the table at home. But the cook’s heart in giving it to him was not common. Even if he was a young master who had grown up naively and preciously, he knew how precious this food was here.
“……”
Ho-eun bit his lower lip and gently touched the meat with the end of his spoon.
‘Because you’re our Captain’s Bondmate.’
What kind of existence was this ‘our Captain’ that they were referring to? He didn’t know well, but he had a feeling that the Tae-muk they knew and the Tae-muk he knew were quite different people.
“……Thank you.”
Ho-eun quietly expressed his gratitude and put the braised beef and scorched rice water into his mouth together. His lips, tongue, and throat were not exactly in a state to eat meat, but he still chewed diligently and swallowed it.
As the forest deepened with the continued movement, its appearance changed. First of all, the road disappeared. Before, it was a wide and large road that even cars could travel on, but now it was just a trail.
The narrower the road became, the closer the trees came, silently. It was strangely eerie. Indeed, the cold air emanating from between the trees was immense. It felt like winter had come early only in the forest. If he hadn’t taken out his coat from among the luggage he had dramatically found before departure, he would have surely caught a cold.
Still, fortunately, there were no other problems except for the cold air. There were no traces of Devouring Ghouls either. Ho-eun thought that since there were no people to devour in this deep forest, there would be no Devouring Ghouls either.
“You must be tired, yes?”
“……”
Gil-sang, who was next to him, asked. Ho-eun replaced his answer with a quiet smile. Gil-sang looked at Ho-eun with a puzzled expression. It was understandable. Yesterday, he had been asking questions non-stop, but today he was keeping his mouth shut. But his throat was in such bad condition that he couldn’t open his mouth.
Even if his voice was cracked, he was afraid they would ask the reason. How could he talk about what happened with Tae-muk last night?
“……”
Ho-eun looked far away, past the Korean flag and the Crimson Rain Brigade flag, at the back of Tae-muk, who was at the head of the unit. Even from a distance, smoke was rising from his still broad back and black hair. If he watched him like that for a while, he could see him saying something to the soldier following behind and turning his head.
“……”
Tae-muk was not there yesterday, but he was there today, and the atmosphere was quite different. Everyone was still laughing and making silly jokes, complaining about the long distance, but it was definitely different from yesterday. It felt like the soldiers had become more solid, or more hardened, or anyway, it felt like they were completed only today.
Only Ho-eun was uncomfortable with Tae-muk’s presence.
“Haa……”
He stroked his torn lips and sighed.