By Zephyria 
143
Ho-eun couldn’t sleep a wink all night. It was too cold. Gil-sang had put a brazier in the tent for him, but his body still trembled. Ever since winter came, he had been sleeping almost entirely wrapped in Tae-muk’s embrace, so a mere brazier couldn’t possibly ward off the cold.
In truth, he probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep even if it had been warm. His mind was too cluttered. The thought that he might no longer be useful as a Bondmate made him feel nauseous and suffocated, as if something was stuck in his chest.
He tossed and turned through the long winter night, and when dawn finally arrived, he heard footsteps outside the tent and rose to his feet.
Ho-eun put on his clothes, skillfully braided his hair while kneeling, and after pressing down on the Hair Tie with the palm of his hand to neaten it, he stepped out of the tent.
In the quiet dawn, Gil-sang was tending to the weakened fire. Ho-eun approached him and bowed.
“Good morning, Sergeant. Did you have a peaceful night?”
“Yes. Did you sleep well, Young Master? Why are you up so early? You should have slept more.”
“I couldn’t sleep-.”
Ho-eun coughed before he could finish speaking. He couldn’t hide his cough in the cold air. It seemed his cold had worsened overnight. Now, instead of burning with fever, his body was growing chillingly cold.
“Are you cold? I’ll change the charcoal in the brazier for you. Please go inside.”
Gil-sang, his brow furrowed with worry, was about to head towards Ho-eun’s tent, but Ho-eun shook his head.
“It’s alright. I want to be outside.”
Gil-sang seemed about to say something, but with a sigh, he placed a chopped piece of wood in front of the bonfire.
“……Then sit here. This is the warmest spot.”
“Thank you.”
Ho-eun sat there quietly. The warmth rising gently from the bonfire warmed his cheeks. Ho-eun brought his cold hands over the fire, looking at the forest surrounding him.
The forest in the dawn was different from the forest at night. It was hard to believe it was the same forest. The trees were all thickly covered in white snow, and they looked quite weary. The branches, weighed down by the snow, seemed as if they would break at any moment.
“Cough, cough…….”
Ho-eun coughed again and stared blankly at them, as other soldiers began to appear one by one. They all exchanged brief glances to check on each other without any greetings, and then went to find their respective tasks. Some patrolled the surroundings with weapons in hand, others gathered firewood, and still others started the fire and began preparing the meal.
“…….”
Ho-eun stared blankly at them with a pale face. His fever wouldn’t subside, and on top of that, he hadn’t slept all night, so his ears were ringing.
He stood up belatedly, having been spacing out for a while. How could he just sit there while everyone else was working? How shameless. Moreover, they were suffering like this because of him.
Ho-eun hesitantly approached the soldier who was preparing the meal.
“Are you making breakfast? I’ll help.”
“Oh, no, it’s alright. Not you, Young Master. Please, sit down.”
The soldier waved his hand, refusing. Ho-eun kept urging him to let him help, but he accidentally kicked snow with his foot, nearly extinguishing the fire. So he apologized and quickly stepped back. After that, he approached a soldier who was gathering firewood.
“I, I’ll gather some too. Should I pick up dry twigs?”
“No, it’s alright. Please, stay seated, it’s cold.”
The soldier refused, but Ho-eun followed him around, picking up twigs. However, before he could even pick up a few pieces of wood, he misstepped and fell awkwardly. The snow was piled up thickly, so he wasn’t hurt, but he couldn’t get up on his own, so the soldier had to dig him out of the snow.
After that, Ho-eun decided to just sit quietly. He thought bitterly that he was useless after all.
Breakfast was quickly made. It was nothing more than a thin soybean paste soup with potatoes sliced roughly into it, but it was hot and salty, perfect for eating on a cold day. The soldiers devoured it ravenously.
On the other hand, Ho-eun barely touched his food. He had no appetite, no energy, and his throat was so sore that he didn’t want to eat anything. He wondered if he should force himself to eat, but he was sure that if he did, his wretched body would act up, causing him to get indigestion and vomit, so he simply put down his bowl.
However, another dark Herbal medicine was pushed in front of Ho-eun.
“Drink this.”
It was Byeonguk. Ho-eun looked at it with a flustered expression.
“D-Did you brew Herbal medicine again? You really don’t have to…….”
“It’s the Captain’s order. He insisted that you be given it three times a day without fail.”
“……I’m causing you so much trouble. I’m sorry.”
Ho-eun received the Herbal medicine with a faint sigh. However, he couldn’t easily bring it to his lips. He wondered if drinking this would really make him better. He had been drinking it his whole life, but he hardly remembered it ever helping.
“Drink it. You need to get better quickly so that you can see the Captain tomorrow and treat him, right?”
Byeonguk said as he sat down opposite him. Ho-eun smiled faintly at that.
“Yes. I suppose I should.”
The soldiers, who had been holding various meetings without Ho-eun, decided to return to the unit the next morning. They would probably be able to see Tae-muk by late afternoon or early evening.
He didn’t know how much he had recovered at this moment, or even if he was still alive, but he would be able to see him tomorrow anyway. And as Byeonguk had said, he had to treat him, so it seemed like a good idea to drink the Herbal medicine.
Ho-eun took a short, deep breath, held the Herbal medicine in both hands, and gulped it down in one go. His stomach felt uncomfortably full, but he kept his mouth tightly shut to avoid vomiting.
Byeonguk, who had belatedly received his soybean paste soup, looked at Ho-eun with a pleased expression. Ho-eun felt embarrassed by that pleased look. He didn’t want to be the weak youngest son here any longer. Ho-eun gripped the empty bowl, which still held some warmth, and said.
“P-Please don’t give me Herbal medicine at lunchtime.”
“But-.”
“Yes, I know it’s the General’s order, but please don’t. I’ll brew it myself if I need it. I feel bad that I’m causing you so much trouble when you’re all so busy.”
Ho-eun slowly lowered his head. Anyone would think he had committed a crime. Byeonguk stared at Ho-eun for a moment, then said quietly.
“We don’t mind taking care of you at all, Young Master. It’s our duty, so please don’t feel sorry.”
“But…….”
“And don’t try to help with the work. That’s not something you should be doing, Young Master.”
“Still…….”
“You don’t have to.”
At his firm words, Ho-eun bit his lower lip. Byeonguk probably didn’t mean it that way, but to his ears, it sounded like he was being told to stay out of the way and not be a nuisance. Ho-eun lowered his head with a gloomy look. When would he ever be able to fully carry his weight?
“…….”
Byeonguk stared intently at Ho-eun. He looked at the silk Hair Tie tied in Ho-eun’s hair, at his hands, which were pale and without any scars or calluses, and at the silk Dopo and expensive fur shoes that were glimpsed beneath his fur coat. And finally, he gazed at Ho-eun’s face, which seemed to be shouting, ‘I am of noble blood,’ that is, at Ho-eun’s face, which looked every bit the ‘Young Master,’ and asked cautiously.
“By the way, do you perhaps…… know something?”
“Yes?”
“I’m asking because you don’t seem like a typical nobleman.”
“What…… do you mean…….”
Ho-eun blinked his long eyelashes and asked back. Seeing his innocent and clear face, Byeonguk swallowed dryly.
“It’s nothing.”
He began to eat his meal. At that, Ho-eun stared intently at Byeonguk. After thinking about something for a moment, he asked in his unique, refined voice.
“Did I do something strange again?”
“Yes?”
At the unexpected words, Byeonguk’s eyebrows rose. Ho-eun met Byeonguk’s gaze and said clearly.
“The General often tells me that. That I’m strange.”
“……Is that so?”
“Yes. The way you were looking at me just now seemed like that too, so I asked.”
“…….”
Byeonguk was silent for a while. He stirred the soybean paste soup with his spoon, thinking about something, then slightly raised the corners of his lips.
“I don’t think he meant it because you’re really strange. Rather…… um……, ah, he probably thought you were special.”
“Special?”
“Yes. You are special, Young Master.”
“…….”
Ho-eun furrowed his brow. He pursed his lips and then pulled them back. ‘Special.’ He didn’t know exactly what it meant, but it certainly seemed like a better compliment than ‘strange.’
To be a special person to Tae-muk, he felt strangely happy and wore a subtle smile.
‘By the way, do you perhaps…… know something?’
Byeonguk’s question, which had passed by, came to mind. Know something? What did Byeonguk think he knew? Did that mean there was something he didn’t know?
Ho-eun was curious about it, but Byeonguk had finished his meal and left, so he couldn’t ask any further.
Ho-eun fell asleep inside the tent. His fever had worsened since lunchtime, and his throat and lungs ached as if they were being torn apart every time he inhaled the cold air. So he had gone to bed early in the tent, groaning and coughing, and then fallen asleep without even realizing it.
And how much time had passed?
Ho-eun, who had been dozing fitfully and coughing several times, felt someone lifting the tent flap in his sleep.
Was it Gil-sang? Had he come to change the charcoal in the brazier? He had troubled him again. He was thinking that when. The presence seemed to get closer and then stopped right in front of Ho-eun’s face.