By Zephyria 
Thanks to the doctor’s explanation, it was much easier to understand and accept the changes that had been given to me. He kindly resolved all my questions without me even asking. His attitude was more like a tutor teaching a student than a doctor diagnosing a patient.
The fact that all the strength in my body was released when Tae-rim-ssi touched me was also one of the symptoms commonly experienced by Omegas. When I became tearful, saying that I didn’t want to live like that for the rest of my life, the doctor tried so desperately to comfort me that I was embarrassed.
“It’s only like that in the early stages of awakening, and once you’ve been given enough stabilizers, those symptoms will no longer occur. Of course, you should be careful during an Alpha’s rut and your own heat cycle….”
And a long, long consolation followed. Although it was filled with flowery rhetoric, in summary, it was ‘I’m sorry.’ He apologized because I was a recessive Omega, not a Dominant or even just a regular one.
I wondered what I would have said if I were my old self. If I were Kang Hae-ah at twenty-six, before experiencing married life….
‘Yeah, I have no idea!’
Back to Kang Hae-ah at twenty-six today, I felt very awkward with myself.
Kang Hae-ah at twenty-six took the kindness of others for granted. As an artist, the price of my works reached new highs every night, and I could meet anyone I wanted at any time. Everyone praised me, and it was easy to be apologized to for things that weren’t their fault. It was a life of receiving services from people who would lose their jobs with just one complaint from me.
I thought it was because I was so great back then, but now I knew the reality. If I hadn’t been the youngest child of a chaebol family, Kang Hae-ah wouldn’t be the Kang Hae-ah she is now. Whether I awakened as a recessive Omega or not, there was no need for the doctor to apologize when telling me that fact.
“It’s okay.”
So I decided to accept it, anyway, the important thing was that I was an Omega. It might be harder because I was recessive, but at best, it wouldn’t be comparable to the life of a Beta I had lived.
I took the syringe containing the stabilizer and a handout with some precautions and went out into the hallway. Driver Oh, who had come out in advance after receiving a call, was talking to a nurse.
“Let’s go home.”
I said, and the driver quickly packed up my luggage.
I was secretly glad to see Driver Oh, or rather, Driver Oh Geon-min, after a long time. Wow, when was the last time I saw him? Il-hae hyung must have stolen him away to work under him after our honeymoon. Driver Oh wasn’t money or an object, but he just took him away like he was stealing.
As soon as I sat in the back seat of the car, Driver Oh handed me a cold drink wrapped in a handkerchief. It was beet juice with shaved ice.
“My wife said that beet juice is good for stabilization.”
“Uh-huh. Thank you.”
Since there won’t be a wedding or honeymoon this time, I should keep the kind Driver Oh with me.
‘…Ah, damn. I’m no different from Hyung.’
I pressed my ashamed lips together and bit the straw. The beet juice I swallowed had a bitter aftertaste.
As soon as I got home, Father called, having received a report from someone. There was always nothing as mysterious as my father’s calls. What he would say and what he would order, whether he would suddenly praise me or constantly criticize me… even my older sister evaluated him as someone she couldn’t figure out, so that said it all.
Sure enough, when I answered the phone, Father told me a shocking story. It was none other than the fact that he ‘bought a house.’ He couldn’t hide his proud expression, saying that he bought a house for me.
―It’s a house built by the architect you used to like.
Warm sweat filled the hand holding the phone, and then a chill ran down my spine.
The house built by the architect that Kang Hae-ah at twenty-six liked, the house I insisted on having, the house I decorated myself, choosing everything from the interior to the smallest accessories, Kang Hae-ah at thirty-two committed suicide in that house.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just moved my lips. No matter what eloquent speaker I brought, they wouldn’t be able to answer this call in my place. I couldn’t possibly answer like this.
‘At that house, your son ended his life. Just imagining those stairs makes my legs tremble. I cried so many times in that cold detached building. You bought that house?’
―You don’t seem to like it much.
Father clicked his tongue.
―Is it something you have to prepare for the marriage anyway?
“Ah, no…. It’s just, just a bit….”
―I thought you were the only lovable child, but you’re all like this.
“Father, that’s just….”
―I understand. I’ll send a gift through Driver Oh.
What else should I say? My tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. Should I act possessed and say ‘Don’t do it’ about something he hasn’t even started yet? Or should I confess that I’m Kang Hae-ah, who committed suicide and came back as a thirty-two-year-old? Either way, it would be a foolish thing to do to Chairman Kang Jun-il.
―People like you more than your Hyung and sisters. Hae-ah, the news of your awakening will be out by Friday. Then everything will get better.
As always, Father knew everything. Even if he didn’t know about the thirty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah, he seemed to have received enough information that the twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah didn’t want to marry Cheon Tae-rim. Suspecting that Tae-rim-ssi had told him was a foolish thing to do. No matter where I went, who I met, or what conversations I had, Father’s listening ears were always there.
―They say they like you, so what’s the problem? The wedding hall and date are all set, and we can’t cancel it because of your whims. Everyone in the world knows you’re getting married. Set a date and meet again soon.
Even if I didn’t answer, Father didn’t stop talking. It was because he knew I was a son who would listen to his words and obey his orders anyway.
―Kang Hae-ah, don’t do things you never used to do. Just because you became an Omega doesn’t mean anything changes in your life.
No, everything in my life has changed.
―Anyway, congratulations on your awakening, my son.
I reluctantly answered ‘Yes’ briefly. The call ended without any lingering feelings.
The gift Father sent was a car. Looking at the four Bugattis lined up in the garage made me feel quite complicated.
I had chosen the same brand for my first car and cherished it for three years. It was a special edition design, so I wanted to keep it in my garage because that car was special. Even if he sent me four new cars in a row, Father would never understand that it would only dilute the uniqueness of my beloved figure.
Reluctantly, I chose only one with a pretty color. If I sent all four back, he would find an even bigger gift and say he was ‘catering to his youngest son’s whims,’ so it was unavoidable. When Father gave a reward, I had to accept it, and even if he gave a punishment, it was the duty of a child of the Kang family to accept it.
‘Anyway, I don’t even have a license, so the car is just a real figure. Ah, no. Should I take this opportunity to learn how to drive?’
Staring at the duck egg-colored bumper, I reflected that I had lived too much like a fool in my past life. From the age of six to twenty-two, I lived like a nomad, going from Paris to Chicago to New York, and then back to Paris, but after marrying Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, my life stayed too much within Seoul.
I had always been a busy son outside. So, when Father first told me to slowly come to Seoul and designated Korea University’s graduate school, my heart was filled with joy. Settling down in Seoul and living as a painter in Korea was simpler than living in Paris. Everything, to be honest, wasn’t difficult.
But in the year I turned twenty-six, everything changed after marrying Cheon Tae-rim-ssi. From the day the wedding ring became a handcuff, Seoul was an iron cage that confined me.
But, a house. Why that house again?
My mouth felt dry. I grabbed the sponge attached to the car door and tore it off.
Less than a day after being discharged from the hospital, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s request for an after came in. With Father even giving me a car as a gift, rejection didn’t exist in my options.
No matter how much I racked my brain, there was only one escape route left. To make Cheon Tae-rim say he didn’t want to get married, not me.
There was no area I was more confident in than making Tae-rim-ssi hate me. Since Tae-rim-ssi had taken the newly awakened Omega to the hospital, he might have been shaken for a moment last time. Making Tae-rim-ssi’s mind change in a day seemed easier than persuading Father.
The appointment time was 7 PM, and I didn’t have the luxury to dawdle. Still, I flopped down on the sofa. I didn’t even glance at the shirts, ties, and suits that Driver Oh had brought.
I didn’t know what type Tae-rim-ssi liked, but I knew very well what type he hated. A selfish, rude, irresponsible young master who couldn’t support himself and was only good at using others. A liar who only caused harm to others and couldn’t take responsibility for anything that happened because of him.
Tae-rim-ssi had hated that kind of me.
‘Still, should I take a shower?’
I pondered while combing my hair. I sprayed it and flipped it to the left, then back to the right, but soon my hand stopped. No, if I’m going to make him hate me, why am I putting so much effort into styling my hair?
Only after messing up my dark reddish-brown hair with both hands did I see myself in the mirror. Honestly, I was a little surprised. Even though it was six years younger, my skin was different.
I recalled my last appearance before I died. My eyes were sunken, and my skin was a mess to the point where I had to throw away my pride and buy BB cream or foundation. When I touched under my ribs with my hand, I felt a sense of self-disgust at the unsightly sensation of all the flesh and muscle being gone. The bones of my entire body were so visible that they could be used as a mannequin for anatomy studies. Above all, I could feel lumpy masses under my rib cage.
For a moment, I groped my body here and there, then took off all my tops. Standing in front of the full-length mirror as I was, my eyes welled up.
‘I look so healthy.’
I touched my ribs with my hand, and my skin felt firm. It was when I was working out hard and enjoying it, so my muscles looked shaded here and there. There were no masses, and my complexion was rosy.
‘Healthy….’
Looking at my familiar yet unfamiliar face, which I thought was decent thanks to the age buff, I cried alone.
The absurdity of not being dead, the unfairness of returning to the past, and the worries about how to navigate the future all disappeared in an instant. At least now, I wasn’t a cancer patient. All the organs filling my insides were fine. It was easy to breathe, and nothing hurt when I flopped down on the bed.
Nothing, hurt.
‘This is an opportunity. An opportunity given by heaven.’
I thought so, intoxicated by emotion.
‘Yes, all that’s left is to live properly. No matter what I do wrong, it can’t be worse than last time. Today, let’s start by getting rejected by Tae-rim-ssi. After that, I’ll draw whatever I want, go on trips, meet my friends in Paris….’
I tried hard to imagine a different future. I couldn’t even remember when I had last gone on a trip. The friends I made in Paris felt as blurry as characters in a dream. But that was okay. Because my tomorrow wasn’t very important.
It didn’t matter where I met whom. It would be better than being in a prison-like Seoul with Tae-rim-ssi, who hated me.
‘Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, you’re going to hate me soon. I’m going to ruin today’s date. I’ll just… be late.’
Being late for the appointment was sure to give enough power to the decision of a major event. Cheon Tae-rim was someone who never missed anything, whether it was a big contract or a small promise, and was always punctual. If I went out a whopping 40 minutes late, there was a high possibility that Tae-rim-ssi wouldn’t be there.
‘Then that’s it. I’ll get dumped, and Tae-rim-ssi will find a good match. He’ll think that’s why children from wealthy families are no good. He’ll think Kang Hae-ah is arrogant and mean….’
Lying blankly and staring at the ceiling, I felt hungry. My condition was a mess because of the awakening or whatever it was. I was hungry all the time, thirsty, and my mind was racing more than usual. I didn’t know if I had become an Omega or a vampire.
Around 6:50 PM,
“Are you ready? Driver Oh is ringing the intercom.”
I heard the housekeeper’s voice along with the knock. It was a voice I hadn’t heard in so long, I almost shouted with joy. It felt like I was finally reading the page of my life that had returned to the age of twenty-six properly.
The housekeeper had been my helper for four years since I was twenty-one. The housekeeper secretly liked Driver Oh. When there was no news for a while, Driver Oh seemed anxious, and the housekeeper was worried that he might get unfairly blamed.
“Yes, I’m going out.”
I said, then rolled to the left and rolled to the right again. Anyway, I couldn’t cancel, so I had to go out, and to do that, I had to get dressed. I got up from my warm body.
‘This is only comfortable for people who do it often.’
My conscience stung so much at the fact that I was already 10 minutes late that I could feel the pain. I couldn’t live in peace because of Tae-rim-ssi. I had never rejected or made people wait in my past life, so what was all this?
I neatly knocked down the neatly tailored suit on the floor and went into the dressing room. I wanted to wear rainbow-colored vinyl pants, but unfortunately, I didn’t have any. The most bizarre outfit I had was a Freddie Mercury concert outfit I bought at an auction, but I definitely didn’t want to wear it myself.
What I chose in the end was jeans. These jeans with a large rectangular cut in the left knee, how much were they because they were cut by an American artist? 2,000 or 3,000?
‘Was it when I was twenty-two… I wore these when I entered the country, and the media made a big fuss.’
Looking back now, it’s a funny memory. The youngest son of Hanseong Group, the artist Kang Hae-ah, was that kind of troublemaker to the public. The articles portrayed it as an artistic performance that others couldn’t understand, and within a month, imitations were all over the streets. In fact, I just liked the fit of these pants.
For the top, I wore a plain sweatshirt and saw a scarf I used to cherish, so I wrapped it around my neck and tucked the ends under the round collar.
‘I missed these clothes.’
I went out of the house with a coat in my hand, and the waiting Driver Oh looked surprised. He was probably going through a huge internal conflict. Whether to send me back up to change because Chairman would scold him if he went like this, or to get me in the car and leave immediately to be less late.
“Please get in.”
Driver Oh’s internal conflict seemed to have ended with the latter’s victory. After all, if he was even a little later, the angry Tae-rim-ssi might leave first.
Seeing Driver Oh’s face, which had become anxious because of me, I felt a little sorry. Then, I became anxious like Driver Oh. I had arrived at the restaurant where Tae-rim-ssi was waiting.
Opening the door slowly and entering, his sturdy silhouette immediately caught my eye. We were the only customers, of course. Pretending not to tremble, I slowly approached him. When the distance became close enough to touch each other’s faces with a big breath, I already felt like I was facing my second death.
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
I tried my best to apologize casually, but for some reason, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t seem very angry. He stood up from his seat in a very polite manner and greeted me with a light nod.
“Was the road blocked?”
Ah, take back what I said about him not being angry! He’s subtly teasing me, so he must be angry.
“No, the roads were clear. I just wasn’t feeling well.”
I answered quickly, not wanting to miss the opportunity. I was planning to pull the chair out with a screeching sound, but an employee came running and pulled out my chair and even took my coat. There’s no need to be so thorough with the service….
I had no choice but to sit quietly. Cheon Tae-rim sat down following me.
“That can happen.”
“Pardon?”
“If it’s that kind of problem, it’s okay.”
With a much more generous expression, Cheon Tae-rim gestured to call the waiter.
‘Uh, this isn’t it…. No… since when did that kind of problem become okay?’
Then I realized. That’s right, I was now an Omega…. An Omega who had awakened two days ago.
A vibrant twenty-something Omega saying they weren’t feeling well was on a different level than a Beta making a perfunctory excuse. Wasn’t it a time when it was difficult to go out without a stabilizer shot and even the personality changed due to the altered metabolism? Moreover, for any recessive Omega, not just me, facing a Dominant Alpha alone was a scary and reluctant thing to do.
“Haha…, so I just wore comfortable clothes….”
“It’s okay. It looks good.”
“…….”
My insides were burning black at Tae-rim-ssi’s kind attitude. The twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim, who understood my situation and forgave my rudeness, was already good. This is what… I had missed. I had these dreams every time.
For a long time, I had wanted to see him smile at me, to share a meal sitting across from each other, to spend time together even if we didn’t do anything special… I had desperately wanted it.
I was thirsty and gulped down water. The waiter who came with the menu quickly refilled my glass. After filling my stomach with two glasses of water, I covered my face with the menu he handed me. What do I do now… I glanced over the menu with a flustered heart.
“Um…, filet mignon very rare, with a side of steamed vegetables. Greek salad with the cheese separate, in a completely different bowl. Does the seasoning contain dill seed?”
“It’s included in the basic seasoning for the steak, but would you like us to leave it out?”
“Yes, please make sure to leave it out. Um, and I’ll have the salmon….”
No, what am I doing right now? I quickly came to my senses and looked up. Tae-rim-ssi had a rarely surprised look on his face at my order that I had rattled off. Crazy, crazy, crazy mouth! Without realizing it, I had ordered his food according to Tae-rim-ssi’s taste….
My husband, Cheon Tae-rim, liked lean steak. The side was always steamed vegetables, he said he didn’t like eating vegetables and cheese together, and he was allergic to herbs. So, he had eaten steak at this restaurant before, and his palate had turned red because of the damn dill seed, and thanks to that, that evening had been a mess.
My head was spinning so fast it was dizzying. I lowered the menu as naturally as possible and casually gestured towards Tae-rim-ssi.
“What would you like, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi?”
I asked, and
“The same.”
As expected, he answered immediately.
As I became anxious, my hands went under the table, and the sleeves of my sweatshirt were rolled into fists. I was used to filling the day as Tae-rim-ssi wanted, saying the answers he wanted to hear, and walking to keep up with his pace.
I felt like I understood then. That I didn’t know ‘how’ to be hated by Cheon Tae-rim. For six years, sleeping and waking in the same house, all I had ever done was fret over pleasing him. It wasn’t that I wanted to be hated, it was that the situation had made Tae-rim-ssi and me that way.
If a series of past events hadn’t happened, Tae-rim-ssi wouldn’t have been someone who hated me.
So, I felt strange. That making Tae-rim-ssi hate me was such a difficult thing, that Tae-rim-ssi being fond of me was so comfortable and natural. I, who had lived my whole life scurrying to please him, couldn’t possibly know how to reject Cheon Tae-rim.
I talked to Tae-rim-ssi without knowing if the meat was going into my mouth or my nose. Naturally, our conversation flowed smoothly and comfortably. I knew how to craft an appropriate answer to whatever he was talking about. Because when it came to Cheon Tae-rim, I knew him better than I knew myself. I knew what he liked, what his political leanings were, which brand of tie he enjoyed wearing, and which soccer team he supported.
Talking to Tae-rim-ssi was no different from taking a test when you already knew the answers.
Living a life of relentless struggle, I had never once met the criteria of being Cheon Tae-rim’s partner… but now I was a perfect human being.
‘Could it be that I’ve actually come to heaven? I haven’t exactly done anything good, but still…’
I was so happy that I even had such thoughts. My heart was pounding with emotions I hadn’t felt in so long.
“I thought you were angry because I pushed for the marriage.”
In the middle of talking about horseback riding, Tae-rim-ssi suddenly said. I waved my hands without realizing it at his awkwardly smiling face.
“Ah, no, I would never do that. Absolutely not.”
I had never once been angry at Tae-rim-ssi. Of course, I had been hurt, scared, and upset because of him, very much so. But I was never angry. He had valid reasons to hurt me, scare me, and upset me, and I was a guilty sinner. How could I possibly be angry at him with that in mind, was that even a reasonable emotion?
Tae-rim-ssi smiled as if relieved. It was the smile of a man with a bright future ahead of him, without a hint of unhappiness. I found the twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim, whose respected Father was healthy, whose Mother tended the garden every weekend, and who used public transportation every Tuesday for an in-house project, beautiful.
Look at that face. There’s no need to go on a trip to get inspiration or study abroad to learn about art. The image of Apollo I read about in mythology books was exactly like that. The only difference was that Tae-rim-ssi was Korean. He was incredibly handsome but also very, very scary, so I could only be a boy who died from being hit by the discus he threw, or something like that, in his life story.
I started laughing along with him. I liked this moment. I couldn’t even understand myself what I was thinking when I planned to push him away by pretending to dislike him.
I finished my meal in a friendly atmosphere. After having dessert, it was already time to part ways. I even thought that deliberately leaving the stabilizer at home to make an excuse was a foolish thing to do.
I didn’t want to part with Tae-rim-ssi. I didn’t want to part with Cheon Tae-rim, who was so kind and so gentle, and who even liked Kang Hae-ah in a new light.
As if he knew my feelings, Tae-rim-ssi offered to take me home. When he opened the passenger door and looked at me, I couldn’t help but get in. He smelled nice, and my cheeks flushed red.
Driving back to my house, stopping at every red light, the time felt too short. I babbled on and on, and even exchanged a few jokes.
I was happy. Until I arrived in front of my house, and Tae-rim-ssi unbuckled the seatbelt that crossed my body.
“To be honest, I like Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
He said, leaning towards me. I forcibly swallowed the hiccup that was about to come out.
“…Because I’m an Omega from Hanseong Group?”
I asked, and
“It would be a lie to say that that didn’t have an influence.”
Tae-rim-ssi didn’t deny it.
“I like Kang Hae-ah-ssi because you’re a good person, that’s why I like you. I understand that you said you don’t like arranged marriages and that you want to be free. I also know that you’re anxious because a lot of things happened right after your awakening.”
Tae-rim-ssi’s eyes, which contained me, were black. His eyes, in which the streetlights were reflected, were filled with kind goodwill. His voice was honest, and his touch was warm.
I lowered my head and looked at his hand that was holding mine. Tae-rim-ssi was a person whose everything was bigger than mine. When we held hands, my hand was hidden under his, and when we hugged, it felt like my body was hidden inside his.
“But I don’t worry that this marriage is a bad decision for either Hae-ah-ssi or me. I’m confident that we’ll live well together.”
And when I was pinned under this body, it felt like my soul was suffocating,
“So, I want to get married.”
And when I was slapped on this cheek, I had to get three stitches.
“No.”
My hand roughly pushed his shoulder away. He looked surprised, but that was it, Tae-rim-ssi wasn’t someone who would be pushed around by someone like me.
I couldn’t believe that my face reflected in his eyes had been smiling even for a moment. I was happy, the peaceful meal with Cheon Tae-rim-ssi. I had enjoyed it, the jokes we exchanged while laughing. I had become engrossed in the fact that he and I were in a relationship full of anticipation, excitement, and curiosity.
I liked it. Cheon Tae-rim, still…
“No, no, don’t touch me.”
I pushed him away hard a couple more times and frantically unbuckled the seatbelt on my arm. I tried to open the passenger door, but all I heard was a rattling sound, and the damn door wouldn’t open.
“No…”
Suddenly, the whole world seemed to shrink. My black heart was pounding roughly, and the sense of reality slapped my cheek. I didn’t have the courage to look at Tae-rim-ssi, so I grabbed the passenger door handle and lowered my head.
The nice scent that I thought was perfume was actually the Alpha’s scent that naturally came from his body. The fact that I thought I felt good with my cheeks flushed was simply because I was an Omega who had fallen for his seduction.
I didn’t know that Cheon Tae-rim. I didn’t know this Kang Hae-ah either.
“Um, I’ll… go in now. Um… just…”
I clicked the door handle a couple more times,
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
Cheon Tae-rim slowly soothed me.
“Let go for a second, it’s locked.”
When I removed my trembling hand, the locked door clicked open. Feeling like I wanted to cry, I quickly pulled my body out of his car.
“I’m sorry.”
I bowed deeply and apologized as hard as I could.
“I’m sorry, Tae-rim-ssi.”
I’m sorry for making Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung be misunderstood because of me. I’m sorry for hurting and killing your Father. I ruined everything, I turned Tae-rim-ssi’s world into a nightmare. It’s all my fault, and yet I smiled because I liked you.
I ran into the house as if fleeing. I couldn’t bring myself to check what Tae-rim’s expression was as he watched me.
“Did you know, Kang Hae-ah-ssi?”
Cheon Tae-rim, whose thirty-fourth birthday was not far away, asked me as he looked at me. His black suit clung to his large body. His shoulders, wet with rain, were particularly dark.
In his eyes, there was no longer any resentment towards me. Only sadness.
I suddenly became afraid that he would not be able to escape today’s tragedy. I was terrified that I had left an indelible scar on him, that he would never forgive me for the rest of his life.
“I didn’t know…”
My voice was terribly clumsy.
The rainwater that flowed down from Tae-rim-ssi’s wet body pooled on the floor and flowed towards me. I blankly stared at the black liquid that touched my toes. As my feet were soaked in black, the shape of my crooked left toe became prominent.
“Why, every time.”
He says.
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi, why do you always say you don’t know anything?”
It’s all the work of your family, it started at your exhibition, and you provided the excuse. His accusations were all correct. Everything started at my exhibition. It was intertwined with the paintings I sold, and they caught Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung.
The enemies who had been waiting to tear down Prosecutor Cheon drew their swords with glee. Even the media stepped up to bring him down, and Father, who had already gotten what he wanted, easily backed out. Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung had to bear everything alone. He collapsed alone, very quietly.
The Eastern District Prosecutor’s Office was not just a workplace for him. His flesh and blood were attached to the position of prosecutor, which he had firmly defended with firm conviction. On the day he voluntarily gave up everything and walked out of the prosecutor’s office, they said his heart broke down. Before I could accept and understand the series of events, the prosecutor was taken to the hospital.
I only heard about the heart attack later. When I went to the emergency room, Tae-rim-ssi was already wearing black mourning clothes.
I really didn’t know. That ignorance was my sin. That I was a piece that my Father, Kang Jun-il, had decided to discard, that was the sin I had on this board.
“Kang Hae-ah, don’t look at me with those eyes.”
When I came to my senses, I was lying face down at the bottom of the stairs. One of my feet was caught between the railings in a strange shape, and hot blood was flowing from my cheek.
“Why do only I have to be such a beast?”
Tae-rim-ssi’s face, who was holding my head on his lap, was completely pale. I felt more sorry for him than for myself, whose cheek was torn and whose toe was broken. He was still panting with the syringe still attached to his arm. He was frustrated that he couldn’t overcome the surging anger and instinctive lust, shocked that he had hit me so hard, and said that he wanted to smash his own head when he found me having fallen down the stairs.
“Why do I always have to be a monster and a villain next to you…”
The moment I heard those words, I realized, ‘Ah.’ This is a dream, it’s not actually happening.
On the night I had a concussion and rolled down the stairs, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi didn’t say these words. He did put my head on his lap, but he called the ambulance in a trembling voice and kept calling my name. He didn’t even remember why my cheek was torn and why my toe was broken at the time.
“You drive me crazy. You, who only answer that you don’t know anything.”
I looked up at Cheon Tae-rim, who was a jumble of accusations from other days and shocking moments.
“I really didn’t know.”
And I cried. I clung to his leg while crying.
“I really didn’t know, really. Really…”
Now, Tae-rim-ssi was holding the handle of a suitcase. I desperately blocked him from leaving, saying that he would give up his business or whatever it was and stop this life. And what did I say, I think I shouted that my Father wouldn’t let it happen. I begged and pleaded that if we divorced, he would be caught up in a terrible lawsuit. I made deceptive arguments that he shouldn’t have everything he had taken away.
Actually, I wanted to say something else. Please, just bear with me one last time, I won’t say anything even if you meet someone else, just stay by my side, how am I supposed to live if Tae-rim-ssi leaves… I wanted to confess like that.
I wanted to shout out that I loved him, just once, so much that I was burning inside. I wanted to shout out that I loved him, so please stay by my side. But I didn’t deserve to. My heart would burn black faster than I could look into his eyes and confess my love. My heart turned to ashes and my whole body was full of tumors.
It’s already a late story. A confession that should have been made before the thirty-second winter came. At the very least, a feeling that should have been left in a humble suicide note on a piece of paper…
But on the other hand, it’s not too late yet.
“It’s different now.”
I said, almost shouting. In the dream, Tae-rim-ssi’s shadow flickered.
I hugged his thick thighs, standing still, with both arms. I clung to him like a cicada and shouted. It’s different now, it’s different now… I begged, repeating the same words like a parrot.
“Only I know everything.”
My knees were dragged across the floor by Tae-rim-ssi, who was silently walking towards the door.
“…Things that will happen in the future, things that haven’t even been planned yet, everything.”
Black sadness was on Tae-rim-ssi’s face as he looked down at me. I wanted to remember the thirty-four-year-old Cheon Tae-rim, but I couldn’t see his face well. I hurriedly clung to his waist and stood up.
“I’ll protect you. I’ll make sure you don’t have to carry your Father’s coffin in the rain. I can do it, now… this time.”
With trembling hands, I began to wipe his cheeks and forehead. Black soot was transferred to my palms.
“If I do that, Tae-rim-ssi, will you like me then?”
I cupped Tae-rim-ssi’s cheeks with both hands. I touched his ears and pulled his head down.
“Will you like me?”
Looking down at me, the twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim smiles.
The inside of the blanket was all wet with cold sweat. I was even suspicious that I had wet the bed while sleeping. My whole body felt heavy with the humidity inside the damp blanket and the heat of my hot forehead. Even in the midst of all this, my mind was clear.
Suddenly, I felt a jolt of clarity and my vision seemed to clear up. When I slowly got out of bed, I saw the glass of water and pills on the bedside table. Ok-hye-ssi must have brought them. I took one antipyretic pill and two stabilizers and looked for my cell phone first.
It was already 5 PM. Seeing that I had not only had a nightmare but also developed body aches, I realized that Omega awakening was quite extreme.
There were quite a few missed calls and messages piled up. Among them, I checked the three messages sent by ‘Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’ first.
-Yesterday-
[I’m sorry for startling you.
I didn’t fully consider Hae-ah-ssi’s
condition.]
10:20 PM
What on earth was there for this man to be sorry about, it was a text that needed interpretation.
“Ah…”
He must have misunderstood something after seeing me run away embarrassingly last night. Knowing Tae-rim-ssi’s personality, he was even blaming himself, he must have mistaken that the Dominant Alpha side had pressured the recessive Omega, Kang Hae-ah. I was definitely intoxicated by his Alpha scent and even felt good, but if anything, I liked it, I definitely didn’t dislike it…
Come to think of it, there aren’t many Omegas around Tae-rim-ssi. Most of his subordinates at work, even the new employees, are Alphas, and Tae-rim-ssi’s Mother and Si Eun-cheol, who are Omegas, are all Dominant. Dominant Omegas are actually not suited to the ‘Omega clichés’ that are common in porn or dramas. Their unstable period is short, and even when they go into heat, it’s not very noticeable in some cases.
There probably weren’t any recessive Omegas approaching the Dominant Alpha Cheon Tae-rim… so I was number one on the list of recessive Omegas who would be deeply involved in his life.
-Today-
[If you ultimately refuse, I will not
push it. If the marriage is canceled,
I will pay the wedding cancellation
fee as well.]
10:00 AM
[Please contact me.]
12:00 PM
I wondered if yesterday’s events were a misunderstanding, but the messages made everything clear. That today’s Cheon Tae-rim is not the Cheon Tae-rim of the future.
‘He must have checked his phone every hour on the hour…’
Well, some habits were still the same.
While cooling the temperature of my palm with the cool cell phone, I recalled him in my dream. And I brought the Cheon Tae-rim in the text next to him. If the current Cheon Tae-rim were to change so unhappily, I would not be able to forgive myself even by committing suicide.
I took a deep breath. And I wrote a reply.
[I’m so sorry…
I just woke up.]
5:12 PM
[It’s not Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s fault
at all. It’s my fault.
It was way past the time to take
the stabilizer, but I couldn’t bring
myself to tell you.]
5:13 PM
[I guess I got anxious because it
was so late… I’m embarrassed.]
5:14 PM
I reviewed the text I sent, wondering if he would check it again at exactly 6 PM. It was a natural lie, just like Tae-rim-ssi had misunderstood, as if a recessive Omega had made a mistake in front of a Dominant Alpha. I was so glad it was a text message. If it had been a phone call, my voice would have sounded very awkward and suspicious.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to fret until 6 PM. Almost immediately after sending the text, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi replied.
[No. I didn’t realize.
I kept you for too long.]
To his text, I quickly replied:
[I repeat,
It’s not Tae-rim-ssi’s fault.]
He had no fault, and he shouldn’t have. Not before, and not now.
[There’s no reason
for you to pay for the wedding.
I’ll do as Tae-rim-ssi says.]
5:17 PM
I had to cross ten thresholds before sending the next text. I had to suppress the piercing anxiety within me, squeeze out courage that wouldn’t come, and soothe the thirty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah, telling him he could do it. And I wiped the cold sweat from my palms several more times.
I was scared, sad, and anxious. Depressed, lonely, and sorrowful. But more than the self-loathing that pierced my soul like an arrow, more than the desperate urge to run away, the small hope I had tasted after so long was more fervent. Maybe I could be happy… that hope, which was mostly futile, that desire to live for tomorrow, was stronger than anything else.
‘I want to live.’
I wanted to live, next to Cheon Tae-rim. I desperately… wanted to live, from the place where I had chosen death and returned, I wanted to live….
[I’ll do it, the marriage.]
5:25 PM
‘It’s a secret that it’s a remarriage, though….’
I chuckled inwardly, joking to myself. Hot tears fell.
I put the phone down as it was and pushed it away, sending it to the end of the bed. It was to avoid looking back at what I had done and despairing that I had made a mistake.
I didn’t have the courage to see the reply Tae-rim-ssi would send. The moment twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim would allow me, the moment I would jump into his life once more, was too much for me.
The sound of me being pulled out of the cave of depression rang, ‘Oong, oong.’ I stared at the phone crawling on the blanket for a while, signaling the arrival of an unavoidable call. The four letters ‘Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’ that appeared on the screen were clear even after I rubbed my eyes and looked again.
My palms were pounding as if my heart was in my fist.
Unknown god who gave me such a cruel fate, are you watching now? Please, just once more, tell me it’s okay for me to enter this man’s life?
I’ll do well this time. This time, really. So that this is the last time.
“Yes, Tae-rim-ssi.”
And I answered the phone.
Kang Hae-ah, the youngest son of Hanseong Group, had none of his tastes reflected in his wedding. The designer, pastry chef, flowers, food, and guest list were all filled as the wedding planner hired by Father designed them.
All I had to do for my wedding was try on and take off dozens of outfits, taste a few desserts as a formality, and read the already decided list of wedding gifts.
“You’ve lost more weight.”
The designer said, measuring my waist.
“Oh, then I can eat a few more of these.”
My attitude was extremely arrogant. When I pointed to the unelected dessert sample plate, the employee brought the tray closer.
I knew there was a wedding dress meticulously tailored to my body down to 0.1 centimeters, but it wasn’t my fault that the measurements had changed by a digit each. What the hell was that ‘Omega stabilization period’ that made me have nightmares whenever I slept and gave me body aches even when I just walked in the garden? I couldn’t exercise, I had no appetite, and my waist kept getting thinner.
At first, I was grateful that I had an awakening, thinking, ‘Where else would I be if I wasn’t a Beta,’ but now I was less grateful.
‘If I’m going to be an Omega, wouldn’t it be nice if I was Dominant?’
Even the chance to meet Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was ruined because of this recessive trait. It was because of the expert’s diagnosis that it was better not to meet a Dominant Alpha until my mind and body had fully adapted to the awakening. So,
[I’ll do it, the marriage.]
After that solemn and cheesy text, I had to face him on the day of the wedding.
Actually, I’m fine, the anxiety thing was a lie, Tae-rim-ssi’s scent wasn’t uncomfortable at all, I actually thought it was good!
…But because it was too embarrassing to shout that,
“I’ll have to tailor the pants again.”
Today’s Kang Hae-ah was a prickly designer’s mannequin.
Now my condition had recovered quite a bit, and it was a clear Friday. How nice would it be to meet Cheon Tae-rim-ssi on a day like this…. I missed the atmosphere he exuded. I wanted to properly smell the Alpha’s scent again. I wanted to waste time looking at his calm eyes. I wanted to be by his side, even if we didn’t say anything.
Maybe Hyung was right. I was a troublemaker and a fickle person. I was the type to run away in fear if Tae-rim-ssi offered to meet me, but I missed Cheon Tae-rim to my heart’s content thanks to the assumption that he wouldn’t.
Maybe my relationship with him would have been better if he had debuted as a celebrity and I was a one-sided stalker.
While two ties came and went under my chin, I had dessert in my mouth. Small baked chocolate cakes, eclairs, Mont Blancs, and Paris-Brests went into my stomach without a break.
“…This is the last tailoring, the wedding is soon. Reducing the size is easy, but increasing it is another matter. It’ll be really difficult if there’s a change in weight.”
The designer said, trembling anxiously. I nodded, stuffing the last dessert into my cheek.
“Hmm, who made this? It’s delicious.”
“Hoo….”
I could see the designer losing patience in stages. Hmm, this feeling, it’s familiar and long-awaited. That fist that’s screaming that he would have hit me if I wasn’t the youngest son of the Kang family… at one time, my life was a flower garden cultivated with those fists as fertilizer.
Suddenly, I missed Kang Hae-ah in his early twenties. It was a strange feeling to miss myself, pretending to be that version of myself while acting like that version of myself. Still, I missed myself. I was always very lonely and had a hard time because of Hyung, but my nature was bright and cheerful.
I was going to tell the designer which shirt and tie I would finally wear, but I just left it alone. So that the picky designer could be proud that he had put all his heart and soul into creating the perfect groom on his own.
After all, the wedding of Kang Hae-ah, the youngest son of Hanseong Group’s chairman, and Cheon Tae-rim, the CEO of AOM, was just a showy feast. There was nothing I could adjust in it. Except for the honeymoon destination, where we would shake off the gazes that followed us until the airport photos and leave alone.
Canceling the entire honeymoon scheduled for Tahiti was a great overreach for me. When I consistently said ‘I don’t like it’ as if flipping my hand over, after having set everything from the hotel to the course three months in advance, only the secretary looked like he was about to die. There was no need to worry because I already knew that the trip there wouldn’t suit me or Tae-rim-ssi and wouldn’t be very enjoyable.
Before and now, the man named Cheon Tae-rim and I can’t be a romantic honeymoon couple. Putting us in a beautiful beach and a sweet-atmosphere hotel room would only make the relationship more awkward.
That’s what it was like when I thought back to the last honeymoon.
‘Maybe, just maybe….’
When Kang Hae-ah, who had vainly hoped and was a Beta, came out after showering cleanly, Tae-rim-ssi was asleep, exhausted. It was because the wedding, which was swarming with countless reporters, business tycoons, politicians, artists, and even celebrities, was nothing short of torture for his temperament.
The guests from Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s side, who were from a family of prosecutors, were not easy to deal with, but if that number was 1, the guests from Kang Hae-ah’s side exceeded 9. To be exact, it was my Father’s guests.
I felt sorry for that, so I think I took off Tae-rim-ssi’s socks while he was asleep. I think I also apologized for having a wedding like this. And I spent the night watching the night sea.
At the time, we were fine. Tae-rim-ssi thought of me as an interesting artist, and I liked him. We had promised each other to become partners like friends, and Kang Hae-ah was about to have an Omega awakening. But even a long trip of two weeks with a close friend was bound to ruin the relationship.
I didn’t want to repeat that terrible trip again. I absolutely hated Tahiti, which would only exhaust each other.
“Then where would you like to go? I’ve picked out a few, would you like to take a quick look?”
The wedding planner, who I didn’t know if she was the second or third, took out her notebook and stuck next to me. She even complained that it would be a long way to go if we were to make a new plan from now on.
As I watched the designer, who couldn’t hide his anger, and the counselor, who was crying, I suddenly thought of my conversation with Father. He said that people liked Kang Hae-ah, you, more than Hyung or Nuna… that was right.
Whether it was for a short period of time or living together like a family for a long time, people who worked for Hanseong Group generally treated me more comfortably than Father, Hyung, or Nuna. After the Omega awakening, that attitude became noticeably more comfortable.
The reason was simple. It was because I was neither the chairman of Hanseong Group nor the successor. The media treated the artist ‘Kang Hae-ah’ as a celebrity. I had never appeared in the press with business stories, and I only went up and down in gossip with airport photos and the value of my works. The sales points given to twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah were #CelebrityFromARichFamily #ArtistWhoSellsHisFace #ObservingTheirWorld, etc.
So the attitude of the people who dealt with me and their preferences were different from my siblings. The Kang Hae-ah that Father created was that kind of person, and I was just living the life he ordered me to live faithfully.
That’s why twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah seemed confused. I diligently lived a life in which I couldn’t tell which one was the real me. Since none of the people who actually met me were disappointed and liked me, I believed that was ‘me’. Like the wedding that others were putting together, I just thought that the married life would somehow work out.
To put it nicely, I was naive, and to put it badly, I was an idiot. I only knew how to draw and do what I was told, and I had never changed anything myself.
Thirty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah, who had become twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah, had to be a better person than that. First of all, it was clear that the ‘Kang Hae-ah’ in the internet articles was a character that didn’t suit me.
I was given clothes that weren’t to my taste but fit my body perfectly,
“I’ll take care of the trip I’m going on.”
Kang Hae-ah, who had newly permeated into those clothes, was me again.
The counselor seemed to wander for a moment while holding the notebook, then quickly stepped back. The hair designer, who had been glancing at him, cleared his throat. My hair shook back and forth following the hand that parted my hair this way and that and the wind from the dryer.
The reason why only my waiting room out of the two groom’s waiting rooms was so large was probably because, tacitly, Omegas were closer to ‘brides’. But I had no intention of staying only in the white and luxuriously decorated waiting room.
Putting his nose to my shoulder,
“You don’t smell much. Did you really have an awakening? Did you lie to get Father’s attention?”
I hated it even more if I had to be with Hyung, who was sneering at me.
“Put on some perfume, Kang Hae-ah. Your body scent is so bad it stings my nose.”
Leaving Hyung, who was shouting, I left the waiting room. I went to the front of the wedding hall, leaving the line of gifts behind. Then I nodded inwardly. It was the moment when the designer’s words, ‘I’ll make everyone look only at Kang Hae-ah,’ were realized.
The suit, which was tailored to fit the angles from the shoulders to the waist, thighs, knees, and ankle hems, definitely caught everyone’s attention. It was because I chose all the fabrics in white to package my hazy shell. It was a bonus that it was given a concept name like a excuse, ‘Groom of May’.
Guests who were familiar or completely new looked at me simultaneously. Even Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze, who was busy greeting them, was fixed on my face.
There was nothing as enjoyable as seeing a beautiful work of art. If I had put the tulle decoration pleated in the shape of a lotus flower on the head of an unknown model, I would have applauded as well. But I didn’t want to put it on my head. It wouldn’t suit a tall guy like me, and it would only be funny because of the contrast the beautiful decoration gave.
I held back a sigh while wearing an unsuitably pretty decoration on my head. I was probably the only groom—and bride—who didn’t want to be noticed on a day like this.
‘Yes, look all you want. I’m the recessive squid who married that Dominant male god. I even got married by rubbing money, the Kang family is really amazing.’
I deliberately walked briskly next to Tae-rim-ssi to hide my intimidated expression.
“I came out because I was bored of just sitting inside.”
I said that and stood next to him.
Like a troublemaker and a fickle person, my evaluation of the tulle changed in an instant. It was because Cheon Tae-rim-ssi turned to me and didn’t move. I was just trying to show my face to the guests and greet them together, but he didn’t take his eyes off my face.
I was embarrassed by the fierce gaze. If I didn’t have the tulle covering my cheeks, I might have had a hole in my head.
“…Tae-rim-ssi?”
Only then, when I pointed it out,
“Ah.”
He turned his body.
In the past few weeks since I returned to being twenty-six, I had developed a pattern. When I experienced something I had done before, I was just indifferent and sometimes even bored, but when I did something completely different from before, my heart was boiling.
So, at the moment I made a different choice than before, like today,
“…It suits you well, Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
I was helpless against Cheon Tae-rim, who whispered that.
A romantic, affectionate, and tearfully touching wedding. A wedding where you swear love, promise a lifetime, cherish and embrace each other. A wedding where relatives who help and cherish me near my life bless me. There was no such wedding in my life.
Even if I turned back time and had a second wedding, it wouldn’t be any different. Kang Hae-ah’s wedding was a feast for Father’s sake, an event befitting the name of Hanseong Group, and a bonanza for reporters who had obtained entry permits. The adjectives for my wedding, which cost a fortune, were so poor: ‘My legs hurt, I’m hungry, I’m dizzy, and I’m so busy’.
There was only one moment that focused me in the ceremony that I was solving like doing homework. As all other grooms and brides would, it was the part of the oath of kiss.
During the obvious sermon, it was funny that the great Cheon Tae-rim-ssi had a slightly nervous face. I didn’t have the leeway to look at his expression before, but now that I see it again, Tae-rim’s expression was slightly stiff. In terms of mental age, I was now the older one. I thought, ‘This is what Cheon Tae-rim looks like from the perspective of an older person.’ He was so solid, sometimes human, and occasionally lovely.
As for me, I was in a position to know all the spoilers of my life. After this kiss, Tae-rim-ssi and I wouldn’t kiss for three months. Knowing that made me nervous as well. Twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah had just finished a short relationship last year, but thirty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah was a prude who couldn’t even remember when he had last kissed or even hugged.
So I was desperate and overwhelmed. The kiss I received from twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, who still liked me, was sure to give me the answer to all my problems.
To put it bluntly, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have received that kiss… The moment Cheon Tae-rim-ssi removed the tulle that covered my face and left a careful kiss, I became noticeably shabby.
I was just lonely and incredibly sad. I felt like crying rather than laughing. I felt like I had become an uninvited guest standing in a place where I shouldn’t be. It wasn’t that I hated it that much, but it was so good that I was sad.
The short kiss with Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was really good. Too good for a human like Kang Hae-ah….
“…Hae-ah-ssi.”
I blinked my eyes. I had no sense of reality, like someone who had woken up from sleep. I saw Tae-rim-ssi with his hand on my knee. My face, reflected in the large mirror, looked tired. I was leaning back on the navy blue sofa.
“Uh….”
I looked around and saw that I was in the waiting room. It wasn’t my white waiting room, but Tae-rim-ssi’s waiting room with two suits for the after-party hanging.
‘Uh, what… what is it?’
I didn’t remember how the wedding ended. I thought it was time to move to the after-party, but I was confused whether this was today’s memory or a memory from 6 years ago. My emotions were complicated, but my head was empty. It was because there was no information value.
Tae-rim-ssi gripped my knee a little harder as I rolled my eyes around in a fluster. I came to my senses more from his body temperature than his grip strength.
“The wedding went well. Hae-ah-ssi seemed to be in bad condition, so we decided to skip the after-party.”
Tae-rim-ssi explained as if he had read my mind.
“Yes? Who decided that….”
“Your father-in-law visited a little while ago. Hae-ah-ssi’s Hyung was also very worried, so I told him that Hae-ah-ssi was okay. Don’t you remember?”
“I said that?”
At my nonsensical reaction,
“From what point do you not remember?”
Tae-rim-ssi’s expression turned serious.
“From the middle of the ceremony… I was a little tired.”
“We should skip the after-party after all. If we finish the after-party as is, we won’t be able to catch the plane.”
I was confused, wondering if this was also an aftereffect of the awakening. So being an Omega was this uncomfortable…. I seemed to have too much faith in my youth, thinking that I had become healthier than before and that I was no longer a cancer patient. Come to think of it, I hadn’t eaten anything since last night. The Doctor told me not to skip meals and to inject the stabilizer on time, but today I hadn’t even had water, and I injected the stabilizer two hours early.
Tae-rim-ssi seemed to have noticed what my problem was. He didn’t ask me anything. He just packed clothes for me to change into and called an employee to bring my luggage.
“Let’s stop by the hospital for an IV drip, and we’ll depart for our honeymoon depending on your condition.”
“No!”
I disobeyed the general-like husband right away. I understood Tae-rim-ssi’s feelings of not wanting to parade around an Omega who was out of it and dizzy. But I also had my own reasons why the schedule couldn’t be changed.
“We have to go on the trip, why can’t we go on a trip that’s only four days long? It’s over 10 hours of flight, so I can rest while we’re going. And, I didn’t even properly greet Father and Mother.”
“It’s okay. I knew that would happen from the first meeting between families.”
“Still….”
That meeting between families was already six years ago for me, so I really want to see your parents, Tae-rim-ssi!
…I forcibly suppressed the urge to shout that. I really wanted to see Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung’s robust appearance, and I really wanted to see Mother’s smile, which was like sunshine. How much I missed the days when the two of them were happily married without any problems… But I couldn’t think of an excuse to indirectly express these feelings.
Tae-rim-ssi stared at me silently as I remained silent. His expression was so serious that anyone who saw him would have mistaken him for being worried about me.
“Then… I understand. Please wait a moment.”
Then Tae-rim-ssi left the waiting room. Only after being left alone did I realize that my sleeve was rolled up. The cotton swab was pressed so hard that a cotton swab with a drop of blood was still stuck in the center of my arm. Did I inject the stabilizer?
Before I could even trace my faint memories, the door burst open. Before Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, Tae-rim-ssi’s Mother was visible. Even though I was the one who insisted on greeting her, I was momentarily stunned.
“Hae-ah-ssi.”
Repeating ‘Oh my, oh my,’ Mother quickly approached the sofa. Her face was full of worry, but she looked beautiful in her Hanbok. Her touch was gentle as she grabbed my sleeve and straightened it. Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung was visible at the door, and Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was visible sighing. The family was all tall and handsome. They were like a group of movie stars.
“Ah… Hello. I’m sorry, I’m so out of it that I’m worried that I couldn’t greet you properly today….”
“Greetings are nothing. You’re in bad condition, but you overdid it.”
Mother held my hand tightly as I made excuses, flustered.
On the surface, Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung seems to be the head of the family, but that’s not the case. I know that Mother is the true pillar and support of the Cheon family. A kind, strong, and generous Mother. The kind of Mother I once longed for.
When divorce was being discussed several times, Mother’s silent words saved me. She told them to just leave Hae-ah alone. She said that some fires are late to ignite, that Hae-ah likes you a lot… Tae-rim-ssi’s Mother, my Mother, saw through my heart, which I didn’t even know.
She told me several times to call her Mother comfortably… I really wanted to call her that at least once, but I wasn’t given the chance to do so, as I was a thorn in the side of her son’s life.
I was sorry that I had called the two of them all the way here, as if it was a big deal that a recessive had an awakening. Perhaps that’s why the Chief Prosecutor’s glare felt so heavy.
“I’m sorry for everything today, from the ceremony to everything… It’s too hectic, so you must hate it. Later… I’m thinking of preparing a small… a housewarming party and a garden party with Tae-rim-ssi…. Would the 11th, after our trip, be a good time for you?”
I stammered. Father’s eyebrow rose to one side and then returned. I heard a small sigh, but there was no scolding energy.
“Wouldn’t Hae-ah-ssi be suffering too much? My son isn’t the type to take care of such things.”
At Father’s words, Tae-rim-ssi’s eyebrow rose to one side, just like his Father.
“No, I like taking care of those things.”
I was the one who answered first. As someone who was on their second marriage and determined to do everything well,
“I’ll do well for Tae-rim-ssi.”
Declaring that and,
“I’ll really do well.”
Bowing my head wasn’t difficult either.
I sat in the car first and took a breather. Driver Oh handed me a hot pack with a worried look. Holding the one wrapped in a handkerchief with both hands calmed me down a little. Driver Oh, who knew my personality, which was always erratic and prone to sinking into gloom even when things were good, didn’t say anything.
After about 30 minutes of silence, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi got into the car. I had to stop him as he tried to pull off the tie that was choking his neck with his index finger. Well, Tae-rim-ssi was the one who had gone to say goodbye, saying that he would skip the after-party and leave first. But he had been held up for another 30 minutes, so I knew what had happened without even seeing it. Whether they were businessmen or politicians, those slippery bastards wouldn’t have let him go. Tae-rim-ssi must have been in a bad mood.
I untied the tie that was stiffly tied around his shirt collar with both hands. The annoyed look quickly disappeared from Tae-rim-ssi’s face as he looked down at me.
Driver Oh slowly started the car. The further we got away from the wedding hall, the more air entered my ribcage.
“Let’s not put pressure on each other, or have any expectations.”
I put the cooling handkerchief on my lap and said.
“So, what I mean is… you don’t have to be too tied to this marriage. If you want to meet someone or live somewhere, I won’t mind.”
I wanted to say this a little earlier than right after the wedding, but the timing was awkward. But Cheon Tae-rim-ssi would understand. Even if I became an Omega, I was recessive. Besides, according to Hyung, my scent wasn’t even good. I barely had the confidence to support businessman Cheon Tae-rim, but I had no confidence in satisfying Dominant Alpha Cheon Tae-rim. Tae-rim-ssi was probably worried about that point in his heart.
I should have said these words last time, but I was sorry that I couldn’t.
“Instead, I’ll only do what I can do as a couple. Tae-rim-ssi and I are just… like business partners for the family business. So please think of it comfortably.”
I finished speaking with a smile. And when I looked at Tae-rim-ssi,
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi, are you a multiple personality disorder patient?”
He suddenly asked.
At the sudden question, I could only ask back, ‘Yes?’ It was difficult to understand Tae-rim-ssi’s thought process when he called me a multiple personality disorder patient after I had told him something sincerely for his sake. I was the one who should have been dumbfounded, but Tae-rim-ssi chuckled as if he was more surprised.
“You’re suddenly making me confused about who I married.”
He said as if he was dumbfounded.
“You said you were going to have a garden party a little while ago.”
It wasn’t like I didn’t have anything to say back.
“Ah, no, that’s… because Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s parents would have wanted such a wedding.”
A place of promise where only familiar relatives gathered with congratulatory hearts. That was the kind of wedding that Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung and his wife wanted. That was exactly the kind of wedding that suited Cheon Tae-rim’s personality. I realized that very late in the past, so I hurriedly prepared for it. Even that was done haphazardly by having someone else take care of it, and as a result, it became a chaebol’s money-wasting party.
Chief Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung said much later that it was that day. The day he first regretted that his son, Cheon Tae-rim, had become involved with the wrong family.
I couldn’t just stand by and give them the same disappointment. I just thought that it would be better for me to roll up my sleeves and take the lead.
But unexpectedly,
“How does Kang Hae-ah-ssi know what my parents want?”
Tae-rim-ssi spoke in a very twisted way. I just stared at him with a dazed feeling. I couldn’t understand why he was so dumbfounded by my words.
“…I heard about Father-in-law through rumors, and that he’s not a political prosecutor in this day and age. Mother made such a person a Chief Prosecutor, so she wouldn’t be satisfied with just any son-in-law, but even if he’s not satisfied, it would be nice if he caught her eye.”
“‘Mother.’ My Mother has become Hae-ah-ssi’s Mother in the meantime.”
“Ah…, I thought it wouldn’t be bad to be friendly…. If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll correct it to Mother-in-law.”
“It’s not bad. Do as you please.”
I was about to guess from where and why his mood had soured, but I froze as if I had been slapped in the face. In the first place, I had decided on the titles ‘Father-in-law’ and ‘Mother-in-law’ on my own.
‘Ah….’
We had definitely decided together to share the titles of Father-in-law and Mother-in-law with both families, in the sense of respecting each other as husbands… Not with the current Tae-rim-ssi, but with the previous him.
‘Could that be why… he’s in a bad mood? Because it seems like I decided on the titles without permission?’
Our conversation stopped there. A cold silence filled the inside of the car. Driver Oh hesitated and looked in the rearview mirror. He looked flustered as he brought his finger to the audio system to play a song, but then grabbed the steering wheel again.
My heart was exactly like Driver Oh’s. I was confused about whether I should change the subject and say something else, whether I should apologize for not doing it on purpose, or whether I should just shut my mouth and wait for his mood to improve… I didn’t know what to do.
“As Kang Hae-ah-ssi said, I will do as I please.”
Tae-rim-ssi suddenly said, breaking the silence.
“As you said, my parents already like Kang Hae-ah-ssi for being so friendly and sociable, so I don’t want to be a crazy bastard who cheats on such a husband, and I have no intention of doing so.”
The tone in his firm voice was almost a declaration. I had to struggle to understand the rigid and direct sentences. So, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s words were a strange declaration that he would not look for another partner, despite my tolerance as a recessive Omega.
It was true that our marriage was a contract, and it was also true that it was a strategic alliance. Comparing Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, who had grown his company to the maximum at the age of late twenties, and me, a painter living a given life, it was clear that Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was much smarter and knew reality.
But the current Tae-rim-ssi was somehow strange. When comparing Dominant Alpha Cheon Tae-rim and recessive Omega Kang Hae-ah, it was natural for the scale to tilt infinitely to that side, but I thought he was being irrational in giving up the benefits he could take.
“No, why….”
Tae-rim-ssi mercilessly cut me off as I was about to point that out.
“But Kang Hae-ah-ssi, don’t do as you please.”
“Adultery may be a thing of the past, but my family is old-fashioned.”
“Me…, huh… really, me? Me?”
I was speechless at the threatening voice in front of me.
“You take care of yourself, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, me!”
It was absurd and ridiculous, and even if you made it impossible for people to say anything, there was a limit.
“Me….”
The great Cheon Tae-rim is telling me not to cheat on him. Wow, who in the world should I tell about this injustice to relieve my frustration? I was so dumbfounded that heat rose above my crown. I brought my forehead to the cold car window with a thud.
Whether he knew my heart or not, the car faithfully headed to the airport.
By the time we finished the 11-hour flight, the sunlight had permeated through the window. Unlike me, who had been sprawled out and sleeping the entire flight, Tae-rim-ssi was reading a book beyond the curtain.
‘This is a big problem. What am I going to read now? I’ve already read most of the books.’
I scratched my cheek while covering my body with a blanket, and when Tae-rim-ssi moved, I quickly closed the curtain again. I had to come to my senses before he discovered my disheveled self.
I got out of the long bed and poured half a bottle of water into my mouth. The cold water flowing into my empty stomach chased away the sleepiness. I roughly combed my hair, took off my wrinkled shirt, and took out a sweater to put on.
Around the time the announcement came that the plane would soon arrive at the airport, a flight attendant came to find me. She had a very apologetic expression as she said, ‘Excuse me.’ Then, she informed me that my Omega stabilizer could be confiscated at the airport we would be arriving at soon. Judging by the fact that she spoke in French, she was someone who knew how to handle Kang Hae-ah well.
“Umm….”
Unlike me, who was just embarrassed and wondering what to do, the flight attendant was quick as instructed.
“Please inject any stabilizers you need before the plane lands, and we recommend that you obtain legalized medicine as soon as you get off at the airport. The drug regulations are a little different from Korea. I’m telling you in advance because I thought you might be embarrassed, I’m sorry.”
“No. You don’t have to be sorry. Thank you.”
I hurriedly received a pack of Omega suppressants, which the plane had on hand, from her. But ‘suppressants’ and ‘stabilizers’ had completely different ingredients and effects, so they were of no help to me.
As soon as the shaking of the plane that had landed on the runway stopped, I took out the case containing the syringe first. If I had known this would happen, I would have stopped by the hospital during the remaining time… My hands trembled because of my belated regret. Hyung’s words that my Omega scent was very strong kept circling in my head.
‘Then am I going to have to go around smelling dirty throughout the trip?’
My hands kept trembling and my heart was uneasy, so I just kept sighing, and the curtain covering the seat made a click sound and opened. I was a little surprised and looked up to see Tae-rim-ssi.
“What’s wrong?”
He asked, holding out his right hand. I stared blankly, wondering what he was asking for, and handed him the syringe I was holding.
“Ah, just… I heard that I can’t take the stabilizer with me when I arrive at the airport. So I was going to inject it in advance.”
When I explained the conversation a little while ago in Korean, Tae-rim-ssi’s eyebrows became crooked. It seemed strange that a Korean flight attendant was speaking to a Korean guest in French.
In fact, twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah was uncomfortable with Korean. She knew how to speak it because she had even hired a tutor to practice, but she wasn’t very good at it. She had lived in France from the age of six to twenty-two, so she even dreamed and thought in French. Tae-rim-ssi would have known that much about my profile when the story of the arranged marriage came up, but he seemed to have forgotten because my Korean was fluent when we actually met.
‘Well, that’s because I’m thirty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah now….’
I thought that it was useless in times like this. I was sure that I would look like a fool, whether I spoke Korean or French, because I was so anxious that I was shaking my hands and couldn’t even inject a syringe properly.
As a Dominant Alpha who had awakened long ago, Tae-rim-ssi was skilled at injecting. He took out a very small amount of the drug so that there was no air inside, and then he flicked my sleeve up my forearm.
In the past, it was Cheon Tae-rim-ssi who had to get injected with stabilizers or suppressants or whatever… And Kang Hae-ah was the one who had suffered because she couldn’t inject it properly.
“…….”
Following the silent Tae-rim-ssi, I also looked down at my forearm. A bluish bruise was roundly shaped like a finger. It wasn’t there until yesterday, so I wondered when the bruise had formed. I was looking at it together as if it were someone else’s forearm, and Tae-rim-ssi silently rolled up my other arm.
The injection that Tae-rim-ssi gave me stung. He threw away the used syringe, tore off an alcohol swab, and handed it to me.
His gaze as he looked at me was a little ambiguous.
The limousine waiting was sleek, and the driver was courteous, but my mood was far from good. I had to take a stabilizer every four hours, and the remaining medication had been confiscated as soon as I arrived at the airport, so a countdown like ‘Time Limit! 3 hours 36 minutes’ seemed to float above my head.
While the driver loaded the luggage, I checked the time and schedule. First, I would go to the hotel in Florence. I had to ask the staff there to buy me a suitable stabilizer. After that, I would relax and unwind from the journey, visit the restaurant I had booked for the evening, and the real trip would start tomorrow.
I had been to Florence more than ten times. My girlfriend from university used to live nearby. I even rented a villa with two friends and lived there for a month one summer when I was twenty. So, this trip wasn’t new to me at all, but that was okay. After all, the honeymoon wasn’t for me. It was important to give Cheon Tae-rim-ssi a comfortable and enjoyable trip.
The last piece of luggage was loaded into the trunk, but Tae-rim-ssi was busy checking his phone. I thought he must be getting calls from all over the place, but then he made a call to someone first. Short answers like, ‘Uh,’ ‘Okay’… repeatedly pierced my ears.
“Yeah, I just arrived, check the text. …Okay. …No. …I can’t tell just by hearing it.”
I alternated between glancing at the observant driver and Tae-rim-ssi, who was on a serious call.
‘What’s he talking about so busily, as soon as we arrive…? Who is he so familiar with… Ah, is it Si Eun-cheol-ssi?’
The thought made me feel doubly uneasy. Rather than standing there like a used-up vacuum cleaner, I thought I should visit the airport pharmacy. I gave the observant driver a tip in advance and moved away.
Even if I went to the airport pharmacy, there was no way to know right away what stabilizer would suit me. When I glanced over, the pharmacist leaning against the end of the counter seemed busy dealing with an elderly couple. ‘Umm,’ ‘Umm,’ I repeated, just worrying and scanning the shelves, when an unfamiliar suitcase stopped abruptly next to me.
“Need some help?”
A foreign man with his black hair tied back in a ponytail asked. I was about to use a language I hadn’t used in a while, thinking he was Italian, but the ticket in his hand caught my eye.
“Are you from France?”
When I asked in French, he seemed delighted and chattered about how I could speak French too. I replied that I had lived in Paris for over ten years and told him I was looking for a stabilizer.
Then he stood closer and took a deep breath. I was a little surprised because his beard touched my neck. ‘You’re an Omega,’ he said.
‘Didn’t I just say I was looking for a stabilizer?’
I was a little annoyed, but I replied once again.
“Could you recommend a good medicine?”
I said, and
“Shall I tell you what my ex-boyfriend used to use?”
He was kind.
As someone who only knew the medicine prescribed by my doctor, it was just as well. I was about to ask him to recommend something quickly when suddenly, a thick arm came and separated us.
“Let’s go.”
Cheon Tae-rim said. He held a turned-off cell phone in one hand, and his neck, visible above the black neck collar, was somewhat reddened.
“Oh… this person was, uh, recommending medicine for me.”
“What does an Alpha know?”
Without even giving me a chance to say hello, Tae-rim-ssi pulled on my bag strap. He grabbed it tightly and pulled, so my body was dragged along like a dog on a harness. Oh, oh… I turned around and saw the unfamiliar traveler holding up both palms. Leaving him muttering something in confusion, I was dragged to the front of the limousine.
“You seemed to have an urgent call, I hope the conversation went well?”
I asked, dusting off my crumpled shirt with my hands.
“Yes.”
Tae-rim-ssi answered immediately. His voice sounded somewhat disgruntled.
I had no idea why he was angry. Was he annoyed that I had disappeared while he was on the phone? He wasn’t usually petty about things like this, so it was strange. In any case, I needed medicine, and having the stabilizer confiscated was unexpected.
‘Maybe he thinks it’s also due to my poor self-management….’
At the end of my train of thought,
‘Because I’m a recessive Omega who can’t even get through the heat cycle properly… am I becoming a nuisance?’
I suddenly became scared.
Silence returned to the car heading to the hotel. Tae-rim-ssi was exchanging messages with someone, and I just stared out the window. I saw a couple of pharmacy signs on the road, but I didn’t have the courage to ask to stop the car.
Anxiety was gnawing at me, as if a sore was forming. I started to get phlegm and my throat itched. It would be a disaster if I got sick. Maybe from tomorrow, I would be stuck in the hotel, and Tae-rim-ssi would have to travel alone… if I couldn’t get a stabilizer. I had no choice but to hope the hotel staff would be kind.
When I arrived at the hotel, the time limit had been reduced to an hour and a half. I quickly finished checking in. As per the reservation, I held two card keys in my hand. One was the key to room 601, and the other was the key to room 800. The one I handed to Tae-rim-ssi was the key to room 800.
On the eighth floor of this hotel, which was said to have the most beautiful scenery in Florence, there was only one room, room 800. It was a room I often stayed in whenever I visited Florence, and it was a room I had decided was ‘Tae-rim-ssi’s room’ since I started planning the honeymoon. I could vouch for the clean bathtub, the beautiful terrace, and the comfortable bedroom.
Looking down at the cobalt blue hexagonal card key, Tae-rim-ssi was silent for a moment. I wondered why he was doing this again and slightly lowered my head to look at his expression. He looked a little surprised.
Ah…. He must have thought we would be staying in the same room.
“I changed the entire itinerary for this trip at the last minute. I redid everything. So, there are two rooms.”
I said, trying not to sound too proud.
“Um, Tae-rim-ssi must be very tired from being harassed by people… I thought this would be more comfortable. You won’t be able to rest comfortably next to me.”
Don’t think of it as a honeymoon, think of it as a vacation. The next few days will be just as comfortable, there won’t be any annoying things. I promise… I babbled like I was Cheon Tae-rim’s personal guide.
Tae-rim-ssi, who had been listening to me for a while, finally took the card key.
“…Will you be alright, Kang Hae-ah, alone?”
He asked, and
“Uh, yes? Is there any reason I wouldn’t be?”
I raised my voice, half excited and half worried. I wanted Tae-rim-ssi to go up to the eighth floor and rest quickly, and I wanted him to have a wonderful first day of the trip that I had planned.
But again, Tae-rim-ssi was silent. He was a man of few words anyway.
Although I was talkative compared to him, I didn’t lie. Staying alone on a trip was very alright. I doubted anything would happen just because an Omega was staying alone. If I spat out the golden spoon I was born with, I wasn’t that attractive of a person. It was obvious that there would be no opposite sex attracted to my appearance, and no Alpha would get aroused by my foul body scent.
I just wanted to take a shower and order room service. I was sure my body was reeking because I hadn’t been able to get a stabilizer, and I had to take care of my stomach, which kept shrinking.
So, the elevator they both boarded stopped first on the sixth floor.
“Then… rest well, Tae-rim-ssi.”
I finished saying goodbye as I got off in the hallway first. The elevator doors closed quietly, but Tae-rim-ssi didn’t say anything to me. He just looked at me with his unique, aloof, and inscrutable expression. The doors closed, and the elevator went up to the eighth floor.
‘He couldn’t even say good night….’
I swallowed the rising disappointment and moved my feet. I was looking for room 601 and swiped the card key when the door to room 602 burst open. I was startled and looked over to see a red-haired man with red skin looking at me and making an ‘ah’ sound. Then he closed the door again. It was the most embarrassing moment I had had in recent times.
‘What is it? Is it racism, or Omega discrimination?’
I pulled up the collar of my coat and sniffed. But just as Koreans are insensitive to the smell of garlic, Omegas cannot smell their own body scent.
The 601 I entered with a gloomy feeling wasn’t very large, but it wasn’t small either. The bedroom and living room were combined into a large space, and there was a red couch in the hallway leading to the bathroom. The curtains were also red, but the subtly toned-down carmine color didn’t match the color of the incandescent lighting. Except for that, the room was comfortable enough for one person to stay in. The city night view visible from the window was also beautiful.
But the condition of the room didn’t impress me at all.
Finally, alone, the loneliness I had forgotten washed over me. All the energy drained from my body.
Seized by a strange sense of futility and emptiness, I collapsed on the bed. I squeezed out the last of my strength and picked up the phone. I contacted the front desk and ordered a suitable stabilizer and room service. I was a little embarrassed to say that I was looking for one for a recessive Omega when they asked what kind of stabilizer I was looking for, but I had to get used to it if I thought about my future life.
Less than 20 minutes after hanging up the phone, I heard a knock. I had fallen asleep in the meantime and woke up with a start, wiping away drool. I thought the service was really fast, considering it wasn’t Korea, and grabbed my wallet.
But the man standing beyond the burst-open door wasn’t a front desk employee.
“I’ll come in for a moment.”
Cheon Tae-rim said. The few bills I was holding in my hand as a tip felt awkward.
“Did you take some medicine?”
He asked, looking down at me, who was blocking the doorway. I thought the tempo of his sudden appearance was too fast for me. So, before seeing Tae-rim-ssi’s face, I needed at least two warnings and a few hours to prepare myself.
“Ah….”
But this man was now my husband. Even if he suddenly came to my door, I shouldn’t be surprised. If I did, my heart would break down before I could even test the waters. Once was enough to die from stress.
“…No. I asked the staff to get it for me. I feel better now that I’m resting.”
“It’s not something that gets better just by resting like a cold.”
After saying that, Tae-rim-ssi took a step closer. I hadn’t even told him to come in yet… The door closed silently behind him. I blinked my eyes and looked up at him.
He was always such a tall man. I wasn’t short either, but I felt intimidated when I faced him. The feeling of Tae-rim-ssi’s shadow covering my face was familiar.
“Did I upset you? Because I pulled on your bag strap.”
“Pardon?”
“If we were a normal couple, I would have held your hand.”
Then, Tae-rim-ssi took my hand. His palm touched my palm, and his fingers dug between my fingers. The temperature of his hard hand was quite high. I thought my hand was rather cold.
And my whole body loosened. Goosebumps rose on my arms, and the strength in my knees gave way. Tae-rim-ssi’s right arm supported me as I staggered. It was the second time, collapsing from simple contact.
“……”
I wasn’t surprised this time. My heart was pounding, but at least my mind was calm.
So, he must have wanted to clear up this misunderstanding. He must have wanted to explain that he pulled on my bag strap because I would have fallen if he had held my hand and taken me… I had to adapt to myself, who had the recessive trait, but I also had to adapt to the twenty-eight-year-old Cheon Tae-rim, who was dealing with me.
I should have realized it sooner. That Tae-rim-ssi’s attitude and actions would inevitably change unless I was a lying Beta. That there was no reason for him to hate me now and that he would rather worry about me.
Who would have known that Cheon Tae-rim, who was dealing with Kang Hae-ah, who wasn’t a criminal, would be so kind? When Tae-rim-ssi looked at my expression and worried about my complexion, I felt like a court servant in a historical drama. How dare you look after such a lowly person as I, Your Majesty…! I fully understood the role of the commoner who prostrated himself.
To make matters worse, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t let go of my clasped hands. My lower abdomen started to tighten, and my knees were tingling. I almost screamed at the feeling of my panties getting stuffy. I was embarrassed and ashamed to be held in Cheon Tae-rim’s large arms like a drunk person. Just as my earlobes were burning, he lifted me up. He lifted me up in his arms like a light doll and moved me to the bed.
I could only look at the ceiling like an idiot. I could feel my face getting hot. I didn’t know if it was because the anxiety symptoms came on early, or if it was because I had a fever, or if it was because I was excited….
Tae-rim-ssi looked down at me for a long time without saying a word. I finally saw the small bag in his hand.
“Th-there….”
I called Tae-rim-ssi again, who was standing still. Only then did Tae-rim-ssi move like a robot with the ‘operate’ button pressed. He tore open the brown paper bag, and what he took out was a small bottle of medicine.
Tae-rim-ssi’s hand immediately came to my face. My body trembled, and I closed my eyes. I clenched my teeth tightly, and his strong hand supported my neck.
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
“……”
“It’s alright.”
Cheon Tae-rim comforted me without even knowing what my problem was. I’d rather he thought of me as a heat-ridden Omega, rather than letting him find out that I was afraid he would strangle me.
“……”
Fortunately or unfortunately, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t ask any questions. He just twisted open the lid of the medicine bottle and brought the opening to my lips. I opened my tightly closed mouth a little. Like a child taking antipyretic medicine, I swallowed the strawberry-flavored syrup.
After resting my head on the raised pillow, Tae-rim-ssi stood up abruptly. Then he went to the terrace and opened the large window wide. The autumn wind blew in and cooled my body temperature.
Tae-rim-ssi took a deep breath. I was shocked. It was now certain that my body was emitting a body scent. …That he was holding his breath to avoid smelling it.
“It’ll be alright soon. For both you and me….”
He said, turning his back to me.
I didn’t expect his words to be true. Was this what it felt like to be thrown into a cold river? My heart sank, and my bones ached.
I should have listened to Hyung. I should have sprayed a lot of perfume. How much did he hate it that he was ventilating the room so thoroughly? Did it smell like rotting corpses? Even if that were the case, wasn’t it a smell that suited me well…? Strength entered my lower jaw on its own. I pressed my lips tightly and quickly wiped away the tears.
I tried not to get caught up in sentimentality. It wasn’t the time to feel sorry for myself.
Tae-rim-ssi, though he didn’t know my feelings, seemed to feel the need to change the subject at least. While looking at the scenery outside the terrace, he said a few words about business. He talked about how the research data and projects were progressing, and that he might have to go on a business trip overseas soon.
At the end of the long story, Tae-rim-ssi looked back at me. I rubbed my tear-stained hands on the pillow.
I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but I was at a loss because I didn’t know how to hide my body scent. When I moved my body to one side of the bed, Tae-rim-ssi sat down in the empty space.
‘Don’t come closer….’
Dry saliva made a gulping sound as it went down my throat.
“It’s alright. …I heard that the company in Chicago has similar research to Tae-rim-ssi’s. AOM’s ultimate goal is also electronic machinery. Commercialization like cell phones requires global reach, so business trips are natural.”
I said, breathing as little as possible. It was as if I had very bad halitosis.
Tae-rim-ssi seemed a little surprised, not because of my body scent, but because of my words. It seemed amazing that the artist Kang Hae-ah was mentioning Chicago, commercialization, and company matters. His reaction made me feel awkward, so I had to make some kind of excuse.
“…I looked into it a little. I thought it would be okay to do that much since we’re getting married.”
“Of course, it’s okay to do that much. I’m surprised that you understand so well.”
“…I also studied a little.”
In fact, it wasn’t a little. I stayed up all night trying to understand this man, studying things like Alphas, Omegas, and genetic traits, even going so far as to audit university classes. How boring and sad it was back then. There was no room for me, a Beta, in his field of interest.
Learning about him was just self-torture, understanding that I, a Beta, was an impurity in his world.
“I also looked into what kind of artist Kang Hae-ah-ssi is. I even bought an exhibition catalog.”
Tae-rim-ssi said, and this time it was my turn to be surprised.
It was so amazing to hear these words from Cheon Tae-rim-ssi. I wondered which exhibition he had looked up since he had even obtained a catalog. It was a fact I had never known before.
“The paintings were good. …I couldn’t understand them all, though.”
The face of Tae-rim-ssi, speaking sheepishly, was like an aurora I was lucky enough to encounter.
I never would have imagined, not even in death, that I would lie in the same bed as this man and talk about my paintings. …Though I did actually die.
“It’s no use even if you understand.”
Cheon Tae-rim studying my eccentric paintings? Just imagining it made me laugh.
“I’m not in my paintings.”
I guess the drug is starting to kick in. My mood, which had been sinking, felt much lighter. At least the trash-like smell won’t be there anymore, thank goodness.
Come to think of it, who could be a better spouse for Tae-rim-ssi than me? Good family, obedient, listens well…. I would be the shield to protect Cheon Tae-rim from even Chairman Kang Jun-il’s contract. I would gain fame and protect him at all costs so that no one would lose anything.
When it comes to the man named Cheon Tae-rim, I am a scholar who could write a thesis, an artist who could paint only him for the rest of my life. Could there be a husband who knows and loves Tae-rim-ssi as well as I do?
…Okay, let’s stop the jokes here.
Wasn’t there a reason why some being, whether a god or a trick of fate, sent a lying Beta like me back in time? It was clear that I was given a chance to fix Tae-rim-ssi’s wrong future. If so, I had a mountain of things to do starting tomorrow. First, I had to give Tae-rim-ssi the perfect honeymoon, tailored to his mood, taste, and preferences, and I had to make sure the rest of his life was just as perfect.
When I turn thirty-two again, I want to smile at Tae-rim-ssi. I want to see his face saying he was truly happy to meet me, in a way that’s different from before… Once I’ve repaid all my debts, will this guilt let me go?
“Tae-rim-ssi.”
I smiled at him, not knowing if it was a dream or reality.
“Yes, Kang Hae-ah.”
Tae-rim-ssi smiled back at me. The smile blooming on my face grew just as bright. As I chuckled, he gently tugged at the hem of my pants. He placed my dry feet on his lap and took off my white socks.
I’m having all sorts of dreams… My Cheon Tae-rim in my dream can be this good. I always thought you would only hate me….
“Tae-rim-ssi, have you ever dreamed about me?”
I asked, half-awake.
He didn’t answer, only took off my remaining sock.
According to my sisters, I was ‘good at studying.’ Since I was young, I never forgot anything I saw, heard, or experienced. Thanks to that, even the bad, scary, and painful memories remained vividly, making me grow up as a bundle of complexes, but having detailed memories from before the regression was quite a good thing. I was able to plan this trip based on a postcard I had seen once.
Before the regression, Si Eun-cheol came to my house on an errand for Tae-rim-ssi, who had left for his third or fourth business trip. After a brief greeting, he went straight up to Tae-rim-ssi’s study. He took a USB and some documents that Tae-rim-ssi had forgotten, acting just like the owner of the house. There was nothing for me to do since Si Eun-cheol knew the location of the study and even Tae-rim-ssi’s safe password.
Leaving me standing there awkwardly, Si Eun-cheol even carefully packed a novel.
‘Tae-rim is a bit out of it these days because he’s busy. He even forgot the book he was going to read on the plane.’
‘…On the plane back?’
‘Huh? No, he hasn’t left yet? His flight is early this morning. He’s in a meeting at the company right now.’
Then,
‘I feel like an office husband.’
He made such jokes easily. Si Eun-cheol-ssi’s attitude had always been like that. It was obvious that he was pushing me away and asserting his ownership over Tae-rim-ssi, but if I got angry, I would be the only weird one.
As he left, I gave him a pack of suppressants to give to Tae-rim-ssi, just in case. He left with a meaningful remark, saying, ‘I’ll be there, so it’s okay,’ and a bright, glossy smile….
It was my job to clean up the study, which had become a mess. It was then that I found a leather notebook with Chinese characters engraved on it in the half-closed safe. I thought it was Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s diary… and after a long period of contemplation, I opened it to find only a few notes and schedules. I was disappointed and relieved. I was disappointed that there was no chance to know Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s inner thoughts, and relieved that he hadn’t hidden any insults or divorce papers.
I looked at a postcard stuck on the first page of the notebook. I quickly recognized where the toy-like, pretty village printed on the front was. I wanted to say that if we ever got along, I wanted to travel here with him.
Of course, that opportunity never came, as Tae-rim-ssi became even busier as AOM grew, and I didn’t have an awakening.
But today,
‘Good.’
I finally arrived at the travel destination I had only dreamed of in my head for a long time.
It was worth flying all the way to Italy. I even met two friendly fans while taking the train, according to Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s taste. They came all the way to the front of our compartment to ask for photos, so I happily took a few. They were amused that I was on my honeymoon, and I was amused that they had been to my exhibition.
The Cinque Terre, which we arrived at in a refreshing mood, certainly did not disappoint us. The smell from the waves was salty, and the straight clouds stretching across the blue sky resembled the unpainted parts of a canvas. A relaxed cat napped on the stone wall, and even the sun was warm, allowing a clear view of the colorful village buildings. It was lucky that even the weather was on our side.
Moreover, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was next to me. The coastal road surrounded by cliffs and rocks suited Tae-rim-ssi very well. His expression, quietly observing his surroundings, looked very comfortable, so I secretly captured his back in a photo. Walking with him was also comfortable and enjoyable for me.
‘It’s like a dream.’
I took a deep breath. To fill my lungs with the scent of the sea, to let the cool air add to the sense of reality….
Following Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze, I turned my head and saw a lovely village in the distance. It was the very village on the postcard he had once kept in his safe.
I was proud. I felt good. I felt a sense of accomplishment for the first time in a while. That was until Tae-rim-ssi’s phone rang.
He glanced at the name on the screen for a moment, then answered the phone. At first, I thought it would be a simple matter. Logically, even if it was a political marriage, it would be rude to have a long conversation with a groom on his honeymoon.
But the other person’s story was longer than expected. Tae-rim-ssi only gave a short ‘Uh’ as an answer, but a chattering voice poured out from beyond the phone without stopping. The sound tickled my ears like a small static electricity. A familiar but not friendly man’s voice.
‘Si Eun-cheol….’
Tae-rim-ssi glanced at my expression and moved closer to the stone wall on the opposite side. I didn’t bother chasing after him as he avoided me.
But my heart was pounding. A past memory flashed through my head.
After two years of marriage, Tae-rim-ssi would leave the house every rut. Considering the hardships of each rut, it was only natural. When the first rut passed like a storm, I was hospitalized and had to go to a plastic surgeon to stitch up my cheek, and during the second rut, I made unreasonable attempts, thinking that I might have an awakening if we had relations…. I almost ended up in the hospital then too.
From the third time, the situation was very different. It was already revealed that Kang Hae-ah was a Beta who would never have an awakening. The expression Tae-rim-ssi made at that time was still vivid in my mind. He seemed to be asking why I, a Beta who had committed fraud to get married, had forced a relationship. From that moment on, I was the perpetrator.
About four times a year, whenever the rut season came, Tae-rim-ssi would get a suppressant shot at the hospital. And he didn’t come home. I didn’t know the destination, but I knew that he would either spend the night at the company or at Si Eun-cheol-ssi’s house.
‘Hae-ah-ssi, don’t take it too personally.’
Si Eun-cheol-ssi’s attitude towards Kang Hae-ah, who was exposed as a Beta, became more openly comfortable. There was nothing he couldn’t say to me.
‘Tae-rim isn’t just any Alpha, he’s a Dominant Alpha, so how can he stand being with a Beta? It’s instinctive for him to feel comfortable just having an Omega next to him. Anyway, please send some clothes for him to change into.’
At the sound of ‘Meow,’ I looked up and saw a cat on the stone wall. It was wagging its tail, looking for tourists who would give it food. Several couples were touching the plump neck of the lucky cat.
Only then did I feel the tingling pain in my tightly clenched fist. When I slowly unfolded it, my fingers were yellow. The crescent-shaped nail marks were red and clear on the lines of my hand.
The good mood instantly sank. I felt as depressed as I had been happy. I blamed myself for being so carefree and sightseeing. I was already short on time to worry about the future and make new plans, but I was stupidly looking at the sea….
Even though I had become an Omega, I was recessive. Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was ‘not just any Alpha’ but a Dominant Alpha. Just adding and subtracting, it was a deal that wouldn’t work out for me. A Dominant Alpha is a perfect 10, and a recessive Omega is, at best, a 3. Wouldn’t he need one more partner to make up for the 7 points I couldn’t fill…? My stomach felt uneasy.
If the past were to repeat itself, my soul would surely be shattered this time.
‘No matter how hard I try, can I stop instincts from doing that? Should I get surgery to become Dominant?’
Come to think of it, it seemed like a good idea. Changing from recessive to Dominant was a big surgery that cost billions, but if I talked to Father and found a good Doctor, it wouldn’t be impossible. Even if I had to get shots for the rest of my life if it was successful, and I would die if it went wrong, thinking about the past ridicule, I thought it would be worth it.
I wondered what it would be like if I became a Dominant Omega, if the present would get better and if I would have a future, so I approached Tae-rim-ssi, intending to ask.
“Tae-rim-ssi, maybe….”
As I spoke hesitantly, Tae-rim-ssi raised one hand. It was a gesture telling me not to come closer for a moment.
“Let’s hang up. I’m outside right now.”
The black phone went back into his jacket pocket. Then he gave me a small nod, as if asking what I needed. Did Cheon Tae-rim know? I suddenly wondered. How much his gestures, nods, and light movements tore my pride to shreds.
“Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, are you ashamed to be with me?”
The question popped out of nowhere.
“Is that why you’re avoiding me so much? Just tell me now, since you’ll have to know someday. Honestly, are you ashamed to be with me?”
This isn’t it… The needle of reason pricked my throat. But it was already too late to take back the words I had spoken. I couldn’t control my temper, and my fist clenched tightly. I opened my eyes as wide as possible and looked straight up at him.
A vertical line appeared on Tae-rim-ssi’s straight brow. He looked like he didn’t know what I was talking about.
“Is Kang Hae-ah ashamed of himself?”
He asked back. I hated anyone or anything asking me back, but he asked back.
“Who said I was?”
Thanks to that, my reply was also in the form of a question. Of course, well, I am, but what’s important now was Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s opinion.
“I’m asking Tae-rim-ssi. I’m a recessive Omega, and my scent is weird….”
“Of course, it would have been better if Hae-ah-ssi was Dominant.”
Tae-rim-ssi replied. His unwavering voice made my heart feel like it was tearing apart, but,
“Because you would have been healthier.”
I clung to the added words.
I could only move my lips at the unexpected story. Compared to me, who was only making meaningless sounds like ‘Uh…’, Tae-rim-ssi was clearly someone who had something to say.
“People often think of Dominant Alphas as rich people in a department store, but that’s a misunderstanding. Dominant Omegas aren’t particularly higher-end products, and recessive Omegas aren’t inferior. Is classifying people like that Alpha-like? That’s Nazi-like.”
“……”
Honestly, I thought he would classify them like that. Tae-rim-ssi seemed to have read my expression and was silent for a very short time.
“…Dominant or recessive, it doesn’t make a difference to me. It might have been a little different if you were an ordinary Alpha. But I don’t react to scents or ruts, and I’ve never been excited by any Omega just because they’re Dominant.”
Tae-rim-ssi’s explanation became more forceful, as if he felt particularly wronged by the misunderstanding. All of his words felt true. It was a little different from what I had imagined, but it was a more logical and Cheon Tae-rim-ssi-like wise answer.
But my lips were trying to make prickly, angular sounds. There were many answers I wanted to pry into, and there was a past I wanted to sift through. But all the dozens of questions that came to mind right now were all in the wrong tense. Because it was the past for me, but for Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, it was a future that hadn’t happened yet. If I said to the current Tae-rim-ssi, ‘Then what did Si Eun-cheol say back then?’ I would just be seen as crazy.
So I shouldn’t ask about things from before the regression. I shouldn’t even mention the name Si Eun-cheol. I had only seen his face briefly at the wedding, but I hadn’t been formally introduced to Si Eun-cheol.
“Then….”
I hesitated for a long time before opening my mouth. Tae-rim-ssi came half a step closer, as if he was very focused on my words.
“Then… I was just wondering who you keep talking to on the phone. Even if it’s just a formality, it’s our honeymoon….”
“It’s a friend. He’s also the chief of staff. Si Eun-cheol.”
Tae-rim-ssi’s answer was so light that my worries felt pathetic and petty. He said ‘friend’ so readily that I had nothing more to say. He’s a friend, but isn’t he an Omega? Didn’t Si Eun-cheol-ssi like you a little too much? He’s a Dominant Omega you’ve known for a long time, haven’t you ever thought that you’re a good match… If I asked those kinds of questions, I would look like a stalker who had gone crazy with inferiority.
To Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, our marriage had to be a clean contract. It would be a problem if it became the beginning of Misery.
“…I’ll say it again, I’ve never been excited by a Dominant.”
Tae-rim-ssi comforted me as I stared blankly at the distant cliff.
“Yes, yes. Si Eun-cheol-ssi must be very Dominant.”
“Yes.”
Anyway, he was someone who would never lie, no matter what. That was Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s strength and sometimes his weakness. He was too honest, and Kang Hae-ah was a fake, crafted porcelain.
So, is it good to have a Dominant Omega as a best friend? I asked myself inwardly, and then,
“So I contacted him a bit. I don’t know anything about Omega medicine, so I was asking.”
Tae-rim-ssi gave me the answer.
My ears perked up at the words ‘Omega medicine.’ The stabilizer I drank last night was the first thing that came to mind. I had also drunk a bottle this morning, and I had bought a few more bottles because it seemed to work well, and I had put them in my favorite bag.
Surprised, I quickly looked up and saw that Tae-rim-ssi’s face was quite close. He had his arm on the stone wall and was half-wrapping his arm around my waist. Several tourists passed behind him, who was surrounding me like a barrier.
“…The one you bought for me yesterday? The one I drank?”
“Yes.”
As I asked in a faint voice, Tae-rim-ssi lowered his voice just as much.
“He kept calling to ask if Kang Hae-ah-ssi was okay, so I answered. But that bastard was saying useless things….”
“…‘That bastard’?”
“He’s a friend.”
Huh… what is this? The Tae-rim-ssi and Si Eun-cheol-ssi I knew… were the same, but a little different. A small point was very different. Did Cheon Tae-rim-ssi originally call Si Eun-cheol-ssi ‘that bastard’ so roughly?
‘Is it because it’s 6 years ago that it’s still like this? Or… or was I misunderstanding something?’
The moment the déjà vu I had been experiencing since the regression was mixed with a strange feeling, I became embarrassed. I was ashamed of what kind of persecution complex I had been trapped in my thoughts with. What kind of mindset did I have to be arguing with Tae-rim-ssi like that….
‘Please get a grip, Kang Hae-ah!’
I was the one who had loudly told him to do whatever he wanted, no matter who he met. So I was the one who volunteered to be the guide, telling him to use separate rooms in the hotel and to think of this trip as just a comfortable vacation, regardless of whether it was a honeymoon or not. But I was complaining just because he had made two phone calls. What kind of guide in the world would do that?
“And….”
Tae-rim-ssi, who was opening his mouth with a smile,
“Ah, no!”
I quickly interrupted.
“Now, now it’s okay, I understand. You don’t have to say it! I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I was suddenly saying strange things….”
“And I don’t dislike Kang Hae-ah’s body scent.”
The hand clutching the bag strap falteringly loosened. Why did Tae-rim-ssi’s dark eyes have to be two? My own pupils could only dart back and forth in confusion. My face, reflected in his eyes, gradually flushed red.
“On the contrary, I like Hae-ah-ssi’s scent. I thought you knew that and were wearing perfume.”
Now my mind was blank. Wearing perfume to cover up a good smell? That was completely wrong. It was the exact opposite. I scrubbed my wrists, ankles, and behind my ears raw, and practically soaked myself in strong perfume, afraid of smelling bad.
I was a fool for believing Kang Il-hae. I can’t smell my own scent, so I always thought my hyung, who is cynical about my problems, was right. I’ve been teased like that my whole life, and I still fell for it.
“I… last night, you were holding your breath, and you were ventilating, so I thought you didn’t like it….”
My voice, trying to explain, was half breath, half words. Then Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s pupils darted back and forth just like mine. He scrutinized my eyes in confusion from a distance where our breaths mingled for a long time, then he opened his mouth.
“I can’t exactly get an erection next to an Omega who wants to sleep in separate rooms, can I?”
The sea breeze blew sharply under my collar.
I wasn’t sure what I had just heard, or what my expression was. All I knew for sure was that I wanted to run away right now. I broke free from his arms and quickly backed away. I started walking ahead as if running away. To hide my flushed ears, I had to get away from Tae-rim-ssi and walk faster and faster.
Then, suddenly, a question arose.
‘Just now, you said you don’t react to body odor or heat, right?’
I turned my head to ask that, and I saw it: Cheon Tae-rim’s face was as red as mine.
I quickly turned around and walked away in a fluster.
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
He called out to me in a flustered voice. The sensation in my feet walking down the steep slope was strange, as if gravity had disappeared and then as if I were walking on fire.
On the last night in Florence, I was drunk. I was so drunk that I didn’t even notice the heat tickling my stomach and the hazy fog floating in my head. It was the first time in my life that I was intoxicated not by alcohol or the atmosphere, but by the body scent of a Dominant Alpha.
Tae-rim-ssi seemed to have seen through my condition long ago. He wasn’t surprised or flustered when he saw me laughing and joking nonsensically. He just told me not to be alone. Not to be alone today, to go up to the 8th floor together.
As soon as I heard those words, I got on the elevator first.
“Okay.”
Then I pressed the 8th floor button repeatedly. I was brave when I went up to room 800 without even packing a change of clothes. It was thanks to filling my stomach with delicious seafood. It was the first time I realized that Kang Hae-ah could feel so good.
“Hae-ah-ssi, slowly….”
Crossing the living room of room 800, I took off my shoes and coat. Tae-rim-ssi picked up my jacket that had fallen on the floor. It was so funny because it didn’t suit him at all to clean up my mess. When I laughed, holding my stomach, Tae-rim-ssi sighed deeply.
“Oh, are you angry?”
Mimicking his expression, I put my hands on my hips.
“I’m not angry.”
Tae-rim-ssi replied. His voice was somehow listless. Watching him, I laughed like an uncontrollable child. Everything about Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, from his existence to his voice, his breathing, and his body scent, made me laugh. Even the air seemed to tickle my skin.
Watching him, I walked backward. Thud, the bed mattress caught behind my knees. I collapsed onto the bed.
“The bed I like….”
Lying sprawled on Tae-rim-ssi’s bed, the ceiling light I looked up at was hexagonal.
I came to my senses for a brief moment then,
‘I shouldn’t lie down in my going-out clothes.’
But even that soon faded.
Room 800 was filled with Cheon Tae-rim’s scent. It was amazing that I hadn’t known until now what effect a Dominant Alpha’s room could have on me. I had lived under the same roof as him, although we were half separated, for a whole six years, and I didn’t know the Alpha Cheon Tae-rim. It seemed that the Beta Kang Hae-ah was truly an outsider. Even though I was recessive, an Omega was still an Omega, and today I was the Little Red Riding Hood who had crawled into his forest.
Because I felt good, I became talkative. Watching Tae-rim-ssi rummaging through my bag with a sigh, I started joking and chuckling non-stop. I told him some old stories that were probably boring to Tae-rim-ssi. Stories about the people I met on the train who claimed to be fans, stories about my exhibition that they had seen, stories about my paintings and the public who criticized them—all things that Tae-rim-ssi didn’t ask about or care about.
After pouring all of that out, my consciousness was faint. It seemed that Cheon Tae-rim-ssi touched my forehead for a moment, and it seemed that he coaxed me to take some medicine, and it seemed that he gave up and whispered nice things, telling me to go to bed early.
Tae-rim-ssi sat down next to me. I felt the bed mattress slowly tilting toward him. My body also slowly clung to him, as if some magnetic force was acting.
Pretending to sleep with my eyes closed, Tae-rim-ssi didn’t avoid me as I quietly pressed myself against him. He just carefully arranged my disheveled hair. I felt good at the touch as if he was handling a child.
I pressed my cheek against his palm. Tae-rim-ssi’s hand was cooler than the temperature of my cheek.
“Why are your hands so cold? Like ice….”
I rubbed my cheek against the lines of his hand. Tae-rim-ssi didn’t say anything.
“Why am I like this…. I feel like I have a fever.”
Cheon Tae-rim-ssi, who only looked at me and didn’t push me away or reproach me, seemed like a dream. I grabbed his cool and pleasant hand and kissed his hard palm.
I had always wanted to kiss this hand.
The neat hand that I liked, the hand that made me beg, the hand that I wanted to touch me gently just once.
“Tae-rim-ssi.”
Soon, I buried my face in his palm, crushing my nose. My heart beat redly at the scent of his flesh. My breath became ragged and rough. Like an animal, I rubbed my hips on the bed sheet.
“Ah….”
My pants instantly became hot. My groin felt stuffy and constricting.
“Tae-rim-ssi….”
I wanted to feel him even more. I wanted to fill my lungs with only his body scent and bury the scent of his flesh deep within my body.
Like a hungry dog, I licked his palm lines. I licked between his finger joints, then put his index finger in my mouth and bit it. His fingertip stiffened as if surprised and pressed against my tongue.
“…Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
As if trying to stop me, Tae-rim-ssi grabbed my lower jaw with the hand that had been bitten. I looked up at him for a moment with my mouth open like a fish caught on a hook. I was already a caught fish in front of the troubled Cheon Tae-rim.
I pursed my lips and deeply sucked his index and middle fingers into my mouth. I wrapped the tips of his fingers with my lips and sucked them, making my cheeks hollow. I licked and tasted his fingertips as if they were candy.
The more I did that, the more my thirst only deepened. My panting breath started to sound hoarse. My arms and legs were tingling, and my knees were shaking. I could feel my, my genitals were red and hot, so shamelessly.
“Ugh….”
I rubbed my hot body against the sheets and blankets repeatedly. I felt like I was going to cum soon, but I didn’t feel relieved, so I felt frustrated. My knees, awkwardly bent, twisted.
I instinctively knew what I needed. I needed Cheon Tae-rim’s skin, I needed his scent, and I needed contact with him. I wanted him to hug me, even if I suffocated and died. I wanted him to make me feel narrow and hot, even if I was strangled. Since it was a dream anyway, I would never wake up again… I begged like that.
“Tae-rim-ssi….”
I rushed into Cheon Tae-rim’s chest, which was frozen and unmoving. I awkwardly buried my body in his arms. I liked his body scent. The scent of an Alpha that I hadn’t known for a long time… I liked that scent. I just wanted to inhale it until my nose was numb.
“I like you.”
Hiding my face in his arm, my tears fell on it.
“I like you….”
The sound of his pounding heart was as fast as mine. The thick chest seemed to move up and down following the pounding sound. I put my forehead between Cheon Tae-rim’s chest and listened to the sound.
And I masturbated,
“Hah…, ugh, uhn….”
Putting his hand, wet with my saliva, inside my pants.
“Ah, ah, uhn….”
I rubbed it up and down like a beast, wriggling my hips and kneeling.
“Hic…, uh, hng….”
I panted and groaned, crying. My whole body trembled when I smeared precum and essence on his palm.
At the moment when I was completely exhausted, my whole body drooped like wet wood. Only tears flowed down. I could feel my face turning red and my sweat-soaked hair sticking to my skin.
Then I closed my eyes. This must be a dream, I thought. …It had to be a dream.
As soon as we returned to Korea, Tae-rim-ssi and I separated. Tae-rim-ssi’s car, driven by his secretary, was seen first, and then my car, driven by Driver Oh, was seen behind it. I only briefly confirmed that the man in the driver’s seat wasn’t Si Eun-cheol and had to let Tae-rim-ssi go.
Maybe… no, rather, it was fortunate. A hundred, a thousand times more fortunate.
‘It’s okay, I knew it. I could see that Hae-ah-ssi’s stabilizer effect was wearing off. That’s why I suggested we stay together. It’s a natural initial anxiety symptom, so there’s nothing to worry about.’
Spending time with Tae-rim-ssi, who comforted me with those words, was a new form of torture.
‘I’m crazy, I’m crazy….’
I didn’t even drink the beverage Driver Oh had prepared, and I grabbed my hair. I could feel him glancing at me, huddled deep in the back seat.
‘Initial anxiety? Are you kidding me? Are Omegas always like this? This is just a pervert….’
I acted like I was okay the whole time, like I had forgotten it, but I didn’t sleep a wink on the flight back. For 11 hours, I blankly recalled last night, regretted it, and despaired.
So it was fortunate, at least I didn’t have to ride in the same car as Tae-rim-ssi in such an awkward state.
Seeing Tae-rim-ssi looking for the company as soon as he set foot on Korean soil, it was definitely the right choice to shorten the two-week trip to four days. But my heart was strangely empty. I must have been too careless, feeling lonely because the honeymoon was over.
“Hoo….”
To me, who was sitting blankly and looking out the window,
“The Chairman… asked me to contact him when you return.”
Driver Oh gave me a new mission.
Thanks to that, I talked to Father on the phone the whole way back. His voice on the other end of the phone was strangely more affectionate than before. It seemed he was happy that I had turned over a card that could have been a bust or average and had awakened as an Omega with an average score. I pretended to be the same. I told him that the trip with Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was enjoyable and that there was nothing wrong with my body.
And I came home. I came back to that house where Cheon Tae-rim and Kang Hae-ah lived.
The house where six years of my erased life were buried, the house that was briefly good and then permanently bad, the house that Cheon Tae-rim-ssi left and I committed suicide in. To that house.
From the moment I turned on all the lights in the house and stood blankly, only regret remained in me. I regretted letting Driver Oh leave work early, I regretted being a fool who couldn’t even add a word until the honeymoon home was decided, and I regretted every minute and every second of the six years I spent in this house.
It was the house that twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah had insisted on living in. I was so happy to receive it as a honeymoon home that I walked around all day, and I even lived alone before Tae-rim-ssi moved in. Everything seemed perfect, from the high ceilings of the main house to the large garden and the detached house that seemed perfect for use as a studio.
But this house and I never became close. To leave this house, I had to die here.
Thirty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah knows how cruel this house can be. Thanks to that, the large space of the two-story house, where everything from the smallest light was familiar, felt empty and terrifying. ‘Terror comes from ignorance,’ or so they say, but that was wrong for me, at least. My terror came from knowledge. From my experience, from my memories, from my failures.
‘Yeah, this is my reality.’
I roughly scanned the gifts placed on the living room table. There were bouquets of flowers, letters, and small works of art sent by acquaintances, close critics, and gallery owners. I put away the letters I had already read without excitement.
The only bouquet I liked was, as expected, the purple hellebores sent by Teacher Im. The soft eucalyptus branches surrounding it were exactly my taste. I picked up only that one and looked at it from side to side, then placed it on the side table.
「To my beloved artist, with heartfelt congratulations.
Soothe my anxiety.」
I flipped through the lavender stationery and put it down. The last sentence was the flower language of hellebores. He’s a flower lover after all.
Speaking of Teacher Im, his surname was Im and his name was Geon, one character. He was a famous art critic in his early forties… no, no. Forty, thirty-nine… so, ‘now’ he was thirty-five years old. He had a good education and the books he published were quite good, but the teacher’s greatest strength was that he was good at building bridges to connect the vaguely detached Korean art world with the public. In short, he was an SNS star.
He was a grateful person to me. When I first came to Korea, he supported and praised the works of twenty-two-year-old Kang Hae-ah, helping me to plant my feet in the closed-off art world. I mistook that gratitude for love and dated him for a while. It was a long time ago and it broke up quickly, though.
With a much lighter heart, I went up the stairs. The railing, which no one’s feet had yet touched, was clean and new, and the stairs, which no one had fallen down, also boasted a smooth texture.
As soon as I carefully climbed the stairs to the second floor, I had to find a place to hide. The only place in the large house that made my heart feel at ease was the guest room in the corner of the second floor. In fact, it was only called a guest room, but it was the place I had used as my bedroom since before the regression. This time, I had taken care to specify the color of the carpet and curtains in that room from the beginning.
I quite liked the room that the interior stylist had worked on with care. The dull beige blackout curtains, the soft circular carpet, and the stand were also works by my favorite artist. Hmm… In my experience, it was a design that was popular six years ago, but it wasn’t bad. At least while I was in this room, both Tae-rim-ssi and I would be comfortable.
I had to use separate rooms from the beginning so that Tae-rim-ssi wouldn’t leave the house later whenever the atmosphere became uncomfortable. He would need his own space that I didn’t intrude on, and the most wonderful space in this house was the master bedroom. I decided to give that space to Tae-rim-ssi.
‘…And I don’t want you to see my anxiety symptoms again.’
Changing clothes slowly and lying on the bed, fatigue poured in. I was about to go to sleep, which I had been putting off due to worry, when I heard a clattering sound from somewhere. I was startled and listened carefully, and it was the sound of my jaw chattering and my teeth clashing. My lower jaw was pulling and my molars hurt. I didn’t know why I was so nervous.
I wondered if I had caught a cold and covered myself with the blanket. I tried to warm the inside of the blanket with my body temperature, but for some reason, it didn’t get warm at all. My arms and legs were trembling. Looking at my hands, my fingertips were white and my palms were purple. The color was like a corpse.
‘What’s wrong, Kang Hae-ah….’
I folded my legs and hugged them with my arms. I tried not to feel awkward with myself. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to think of other things.
First, first of all… uh… I had to prepare for the garden party from tomorrow morning. While I was on the trip, Il-hae hyung had hired a party planner for me, saying it was for me, but when I roughly heard the name, it was someone I knew. Of course, I hadn’t met him ‘yet,’ but he was the man in charge of the garden party before the regression. I didn’t like that person.
Hyung’s influence wasn’t needed for the garden party held to commemorate Tae-rim-ssi and I becoming a couple. I don’t know how far the preparations have progressed, but I have to fire him first.
…And I had to sort out the guest list. I had to exclude political figures as much as possible and send invitations only to family members. Since it would be a party without alcohol to suit Prosecutor Cheon Hee-jung’s taste, I had to contact the chef and change the menu entirely.
I should tidy up the house and rearrange some furniture this afternoon. The second-floor terrace isn’t used much anyway, and we’ll probably have to expand it in less than half a year, so I might as well prepare for the construction in advance.
Oh, I need to replace Tae-rim-ssi’s study chair beforehand. The current chair isn’t bad, of course, but that’s just my standard. Tae-rim-ssi is the type who can’t concentrate if the chair is too comfortable, like a bed. I need to find a suitable chair that firmly supports his back.
I should also check the list of items Ok-hye-ssi has stored in the warehouse… Knowing her, she’s probably moved all my tea leaves there. I’ll have to throw them all away. I can’t let Tae-rim-ssi spend his days coughing in the house. Herbs are everywhere, so I’ll have to give up tea for life.
Even though I know everything that will happen from tomorrow, I felt anxious. If I mess things up even though I know all the answers, then I’ll truly realize that there’s something wrong with me.
“It’s not a matter of my feelings.”
Tae-rim-ssi was standing at the edge of a faintly permeating dream. He stood with his back to the party hall, where all the guests had left, his face troubled.
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi humiliated me in front of everyone. Do you even know what people will say about us from the moment we get into the car? They’ll snicker that Cheon Tae-rim is a rutting Alpha who can’t even reassure his husband.”
“No, no, no one would say that…”
It was my fault again. I blindly followed the advice I easily received from here and there, and I easily categorized the seating arrangements for those invited to the party according to their tendencies. I thought it would be good to classify them so that they wouldn’t clash with each other.
…No, actually, I didn’t think deeply enough.
The things that happen in their society, Alpha and Omega, were in a category that I couldn’t deduce just by thinking about them.
“What else will they say about Kang Hae-ah-ssi?”
Thanks to me, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi was seen as an Alpha who couldn’t reassure her husband who hadn’t yet had his awakening, just as he said. Kang Hae-ah was a dim-witted Beta who couldn’t capture the heart of a Dominant Alpha.
I accepted all the evaluations of me as such. I just accepted Hyung’s sneers and my sisters’ pitiful glances. I was a dim-witted Beta who couldn’t capture the heart of a Dominant Alpha, after all.
“……”
I came to my senses at a small noise in the distance. I slapped my cheeks with the palm of my hand and shook my head from side to side. After slapping myself until my cheeks were numb, it seemed that the reason that had been lying dead was awakening.
‘Today.’
I had to be in today. Not worrying about a tomorrow that would never come.
Getting out of the single-sized bed, I approached the window, and a rhombus-shaped shadow was reflected on the road. As the garage door closed, the rectangular shadow also flattened out. It seemed Tae-rim-ssi had arrived.
I stood still and listened carefully. Because the soundproofing was so good, I couldn’t hear the sounds outside the building, but I could hear Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s footsteps climbing the stairs to the second floor. Judging by his slow movements, it seemed he was scanning the house. I wondered if he was criticizing that it was too big for two people to live in, that the interior was too cold, and that the furniture was all ostentatious… While I was standing there anxiously, his footsteps came up to the second floor.
And after a few minutes,
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
Tae-rim-ssi called me.
Brushing my hair back with both hands, I approached the door of the guest room. Peeking through the crack in the door, I saw Tae-rim-ssi looking into the master bedroom. He had a puzzled look on his face because he couldn’t see me.
I thought the stabilizer was really effective. It seemed that even to him, a Dominant Alpha, my scent was well hidden, albeit temporarily.
“I’m here.”
I said, trying to make my voice as clear as possible.
“…I’m very nocturnal, so I kept the bedroom separate. I’m going to use the annex as a studio, and I’ll be… um, ahem, going back and forth all night. I thought I’d be waking Tae-rim-ssi up all the time when he’s trying to sleep…”
My words kept trailing off. Pretending to be sleepy, I raised my hand and repeatedly washed my face. Tae-rim-ssi, who was looking at me, had a calm expression on his face. In his hand, he was holding a familiar bouquet of flowers upside down. It was the bouquet that Teacher Im had sent, which I had set aside next to the mountain of gifts.
Why did you bring that up here? Just as I opened my mouth to ask,
“I see.”
Tae-rim-ssi ended the conversation. Then he went into the room.
Holding the doorknob, I stared at the empty hallway for a while, then I returned to my bed. Sitting there alone, I felt like I was being eaten away by the darkness. Fifteen steps away, in the master bedroom with the bright window, Tae-rim-ssi was there, but I was trembling and my toes were curling up as I hid in the small room.
I couldn’t muster the courage to sleep alone in this room. Slowly getting up, I stretched out my stiff toes.
I wanted to sleep soundly without having nightmares. To do that, I had to see Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s face. I needed his eyes that didn’t resent or hate me. Forgetting to put on slippers, I hurried barefoot into the hallway, and the vermilion light of the lamp came into view. I slowly approached until the ray of light touched my feet.
As I entered the master bedroom with my head bowed, Tae-rim-ssi put down the book he was reading. I went next to him, but I didn’t have the courage to look him in the eye, so I quietly slipped under the covers. I felt like a madman for telling him to sleep separately just a moment ago and then invading his bed in less than a minute.
Curling up obediently, I lay down with my back to Tae-rim-ssi.
“…I’ll just sleep here until the stabilizing period comes. I got a stabilizer shot a little while ago, so don’t worry.”
I said, trying to sound as brazen as possible. Tae-rim-ssi seemed to make a slight movement. His shadow moving on the carpet was clearly visible. He reached out his hand over my back and placed a blanket over my blanket.
“Kang Hae-ah-ssi.”
Then he chuckled softly.
“I’m not going to eat you.”
His large hand stroked my hair. His hand, which ruffled my hair like petting a big dog and then combed it smoothly towards the crown of my head, was warm. My curled toes also relaxed, and my pounding heart calmed down. I finally felt alive.
It seemed I had no learning ability. I liked today’s Cheon Tae-rim-ssi so much. When I was next to him, I couldn’t remember yesterday’s me or tomorrow’s Cheon Tae-rim.
Maybe I had used up all the luck in my life just to be born as a human. If I had been a wild animal, I would have been bitten by a tiger and then gone to sleep in its mouth.
I didn’t know until the afternoon of the next day that what Tae-rim-ssi was reading that night was Teacher Im’s note.
Blue and green were one of my favorite color combinations. There was a harmony in the simple, eye-catching colors without mixing white. If I were given the task of expressing warmth without a reddish tint, I would apply the two colors as they were to the canvas. The clear blue of the sky, as if you could feel the bright sunlight, and the green of the grass that bloomed without knowing the fear of the world.
Today, the sky and the garden in front of me were exactly like that. Standing in the center of the perfect scenery, surrounded by smiling people, happiness seemed not far away.
The weather was perfect with the sun warm and no wind, the desserts with macadamia nuts instead of peanuts were selling well, and the specially trained staff were quick and efficient. I had carefully checked the ingredients in all the food and the guest list for the invitations for weeks, so there was no need to endure disliked foods or face uncomfortable people, so everyone had a smiling face. Even the notoriously picky Madam seemed satisfied with the table where her favorite flowers were in full bloom…
Next to me was my husband, Cheon Tae-rim.
No matter when or where he was taken, he would become the master of that place. What kind of person was I to Cheon Tae-rim today? I thought about that first thing every time I opened my eyes in the morning.
Someday I was a bleeding victim, someday I was a terrible swindler, and someday I would have become a demonic bastard who ruined his life and left. What kind of person was that Kang Hae-ah today? That concern had become a bright color, at least for now.
The garden party that I had worked hard to put together for weeks was excellent even to my eyes. If this place wasn’t Tae-rim-ssi and my honeymoon home garden, and it was a party hosted by a couple I knew, I would have been a satisfied guest.
I could see people’s blessings floating around like balloons. The clouds that occupied the corner of the bright blue sky were also shaped like chirping birds. The satisfied smiles of my father-in-law and mother-in-law were also combined with the singing to create a picture.
So at least today, I wasn’t a villain to Tae-rim-ssi. No, from today onwards, and forever, that would be the case.
“Hae-ah-ssi, I’m a little worried. To take well-intentioned advice like that.”
Si Eun-cheol’s hardened face couldn’t spoil my mood. He was someone who couldn’t flatten me. The only person who could have any kind of influence on me from now on was Cheon Tae-rim-ssi. Because I had decided so.
As befitting the protagonist of my second life, Tae-rim-ssi’s timing of appearance was also perfect. When I raised my head stiffly and faced Si Eun-cheol, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and embraced me. In an instant, I slipped completely into his arms.
“Stop it.”
Tae-rim-ssi’s attitude in blocking Si Eun-cheol’s provocation was firm. When I raised my head to look at him, his expression seemed strangely stiff, more so than usual. It didn’t seem to be just because of the war of nerves between his friend and his husband.
‘Uh… what’s wrong?’
His hand slowly patted my shoulder. Four hard fingers tapped my arm like playing the piano keys, and his thumb slowly stroked my skin twice over the jacket. A small gesture sent heat into my heart. The organs that filled my insides wriggled, and strangely, my knees tingled.
I quickly recalled today’s guest list, the prepared food, the orchestra selection, and the seating arrangement in my head. However, I couldn’t easily recall anything that would have upset Tae-rim-ssi among the faces he had encountered and the stories he had heard.
Instead of asking what was wrong, I slowly turned to the guests and smiled. When surrounded by countless glances from people who knew me or didn’t know me, I was a born actor.
I was the youngest son of the Hanseong Group’s chaebol family, with nothing lacking. A genius painter who grew up receiving only praise and recognition. A bright, healthy, and cheerful newlywed.
…An Omega with a flawless Dominant Alpha Cheon Tae-rim.
‘…It has to be.’
Tae-rim-ssi’s gaze that examined me felt like a spark. The soft hairs on my left cheek stood on end, and I even felt a stinging pain on my skin, but I ignored his gaze.
Something was wrong. I hadn’t yet identified the nature of that ‘something’, but,
“Kang Hae-ah.”
I could tell by looking at Il-hae Hyung’s face, who was glaring at me as if he wanted to kill me.
“Can we talk for a moment?”
Let me say it again, something was wrong. Things that had never happened before were happening. It wasn’t Il-hae Hyung who called me out separately at today’s garden party to express his dissatisfaction, but my father, Chairman Kang Jun-il, but that picture had changed.
“Yes, Hyung…”
As if telling me to come here, Hyung gestured to me. Was that exactly the gesture that noblemen used to call their servants in the old days?
I slowly followed his tail as he headed to the backyard of the main building. No one suspected or followed because brothers who were known to have a good relationship externally were having a private meeting. Even Tae-rim-ssi had turned away from me. After looking at his back for a moment, I turned my gaze to Il-hae Hyung.
There was definitely no problem with my memory, which was like a movie film. So, I had to deduce why the person blaming me had become Hyung instead of Father, and what influence was causing it, based on that memory.
Before that, I clenched my teeth tightly. The moment I arrived at the small garden behind the main building, the expected pain came crashing down.
“……”
Whenever Il-hae Hyung called me out to the back of the tutoring classroom, the back seat of the car, or the room next to the conference room, the purpose was obvious. Whenever my something touched Hyung’s nerves, he was the type who had to resolve it by carrying out the corresponding punishment.
Today, his hard shoes kicked my shin.
The stinging pain made my head drop involuntarily. Hyung’s big hand pressed down hard on the back of my head, which had hurriedly bowed as if to greet him.
“Looks like you’re having a lot of fun.”
Then he slapped the back of my head with a thud. Hyung’s fists were incredibly strong, whether when he was young or now. Every time I was hit by that fist, I forgot what to say like a four-year-old child. The inside of my left ear rang weakly like a broken bell. I heard something like tinnitus in my ear for a moment.
…Sometimes I wondered if all of this was a flashback, a dream, or a hallucination. To feel a sense of reality, I took a deep breath and even slapped my own cheek once.
In that sense, I was a little grateful to Hyung.
‘It’s real.’
The back of my head that had been hit was tearfully painful.
“Is it fun? I went to the trouble of attaching someone to you, but you threw them away and had a fancy party, so you’re having a lot of fun?”
I felt even more stupid because I had been hit in the head. I couldn’t find a suitable answer to Hyung’s angry words.
I just,
“…Hyung.”
Called him once without meaning. Then Hyung’s eyes crumpled up.
“Are you laughing?”
…Was I laughing? I quickly raised my hand and rubbed my mouth.
“What’s so great about a recessive being having an awakening that you’re laughing, laughing.”
Hyung’s hand grabbed and pulled my hair as it was. My hair got tangled in his ring. In an instant, my upper body was jerked forward following his hand. Hyung played with his remaining hand roughly. His fist repeatedly hit the back of my head.
“Smelling like an Omega, of all things.”
“Hyu, Hyung. Ack…”
“It ruins my mood, you dirty bastard.”
“Ugh…”
My vision turned red and then blue. It felt like my scalp was being peeled off. Hyung finally pushed me over. I saw my hair tangled in his left-hand ring and pulled out. As if touching something dirty, Hyung shook the pulled-out hair on the garden lawn.
It was always like this when I was subjected to sudden violence. I was so out of it that I couldn’t organize any words or thoughts, but only my body reacted quickly to the pain. My face flushed red, and my arms and legs trembled.
“Keep your head down and don’t act like you’re anything special.”
As it was, Il-hae Hyung left me without looking back.
As soon as the heat in my flushed cheeks subsided, I turned pale. I quickly got up from my seat and looked around. Fortunately, there was no one watching. Well, Hyung had always beaten me well only when others weren’t watching.
I was very embarrassed because what happened today was an unprecedented event. Even though Hyung’s venting of anger was a common occurrence. Maybe he was right, I had forgotten who I was for a moment in the excited wind. I shouldn’t have done that… I couldn’t be happy so easily.
I pressed down on my disheveled hair with my hand. I looked around to see if there was any blood, but fortunately, there were no torn spots. My heart was pounding as I shook off the crumpled hem of my pants. My head was ringing and my vision was dizzy. I saw something like a wavy heat haze, but it soon blurred.
I had been so focused on becoming the perfect partner for Tae-rim-ssi that I had forgotten. That there were already many problems entangled in Kang Hae-ah’s life from the day he was born.
I should have predicted today’s changes as well, but I was very lacking. My thoughts were short. I was Kang Hae-ah, who had to live quietly as a Beta and play the role of a punching bag as a younger brother who was inferior to Kang Il-hae. Such Kang Hae-ah had an awakening as an Omega and even raised Father’s face with a proper party, so Hyung would have been naturally angry, but I didn’t know that.
I heard laughter in the distance. Someone was smiling at someone’s joke, shouting ‘haha’.
Without realizing it, I looked for Tae-rim-ssi first. Fortunately, he was also surrounded by others with his back turned. Around Tae-rim-ssi were my relatives, a close writer, and Teacher Im.
‘That’s also a sight I’m seeing for the first time.’
Come to think of it, Teacher Im hadn’t been able to attend the garden party before the regression. At that time, the party date wasn’t today but two weeks later, and the teacher was on a business trip or something.
I wondered what kind of conversation the two people I liked the most in the world were having. Tae-rim-ssi was like a straight tree with deep roots, and Teacher Im was a kind and warm person, so they were a good match in my eyes. Maybe they would become closer to each other than they were to me individually.
He let out a deep breath. At first, it was a groan as if he were in pain, but after exhaling a couple of times, thinking of emptying his lungs, he became fine. To be a decent Omega next to Tae-rim-ssi, he had to fix not only his breathing but also his expression. He stopped his staggering, trembling knees and repeatedly regulated his breathing.
‘I’m dying of pain… I’m so upset.’
Still, he was glad he was an Omega suitable for Hyung. Compared to Tae-rim-ssi’s hands, Hyung’s fists were nothing, enough to elicit a ‘pfft’ of ridicule. He probably just got a few bumps on his head, not enough to cause a concussion, nothing to stitch up, and Hyung wasn’t that important to him, and… Cheon Tae-rim-ssi doesn’t hate him.
Cheon Tae-rim-ssi doesn’t hate him.
So he was okay.
‘I’m okay.’
As he took a few steps towards him with force,
“Kang Hae-ah, can we talk for a moment?”
Si Eun-cheol blocked his way.
‘Ah…’
He almost cursed without realizing it. Why is he doing this again… Why now of all times?
“We were so flustered that we couldn’t even properly introduce ourselves, right?”
He deeply agreed with the words ‘so flustered’. Si Eun-cheol, Tae-rim-ssi, Hyung, and then Si Eun-cheol again were tossing him around, so how could he not be flustered? He had no dignity, no pride, no place to lean on, and no escape route.
He quietly looked up at Si Eun-cheol’s neat face. Seeing his expression and complexion were clear, he probably didn’t see him getting beaten by Hyung earlier. He really seemed to have come to him to ‘properly introduce’ himself.
He was sick and tired of greeting him. At least once a week, he would ring the intercom, saying he was running errands for Tae-rim-ssi. So much so that in some months, Si Eun-cheol-ssi visited more often than Tae-rim-ssi came home.
Just as Tae-rim-ssi’s impression and tone, which he met again after 6 years, felt different from before, Si Eun-cheol-ssi’s impression and tone were definitely different as well.
When seen through the eyes of twenty-six-year-old Kang Hae-ah, this man, who was the same age as Tae-rim-ssi and called Hyung to him, seemed very adult-like, but when faced with the eyes of thirty-two-year-old, he seemed like a child. A stubborn child who grew up comfortably without experiencing frustration.
He now understood a little why he was Tae-rim-ssi’s best friend. Only when he had a somewhat objective perspective, it was like that. Anyone who saw Si Eun-cheol and Cheon Tae-rim would naturally pair them as a couple. If Cheon Tae-rim looked like a model Dominant Alpha, Si Eun-cheol was a man who wouldn’t be upset even if he was the representative of Dominant Omegas.
His handsome face, which he had also modeled for school magazines in college, his deeply set eye sockets like a Westerner, and his slender body with lean muscles supported his confident attitude.
“I’m Si Eun-cheol, and as you may know… Tae-rim and I have been together for over 10 years.”
He said to him with a kind smile. ‘Over 10 years’… It sounded romantic when he said it like that.
“Ah, yes. You two are like bosom buddies, right?”
“……”
They say you can’t spit on a smiling face. He also smiled brightly at him. Eun-cheol, Hyung is here. I’m four years older than you. He repeated that in his mind.
“No… it’s not really that.”
Si Eun-cheol stammered, seemingly flustered. He seemed quite surprised by the vivid and unromantic expression ‘bosom buddies’.
After all, Si Eun-cheol shouldn’t have known that Kang Hae-ah would say such a thing. He was so famous as a student who studied abroad that he was even criticized as ‘actually a Parisian, so he shouldn’t be called a Korean painter’.
But he didn’t need to pretend to be nice or lacking for Si Eun-cheol’s sake. He knew that the relationship was going to turn bad anyway. Living as a defeated person, craving favors he couldn’t get, was enough for once.
“Well, um… Tae-rim and I were famous for each other since high school.”
Si Eun-cheol cleared his throat. Then he began to recite a familiar repertoire. Yes, Tae-rim-ssi was the only Dominant Alpha and you were the only Dominant Omega in the school you two went to, right?
“Tae-rim was the only Dominant Alpha and I was the only Dominant Omega in the school. So, naturally, we became close. We also played the role of each other’s fly swatters.”
Omegas must have followed Tae-rim-ssi around so much because they liked him so much.
“Omegas followed Tae-rim around so much because they liked him so much, and they were very annoying.”
Even a ten-year-old child would realize that the Omega referred to as a fly meant him.
Somehow, Si Eun-cheol hadn’t changed at all from his Hyung, who was so predictable. People changed even if the time was different, the weather was different, and the listener’s expression was different. But Si Eun-cheol was consistent. Like an NPC in a game, he repeated the words that had hurt him in his past life without changing a single word.
If he was fake or really an NPC in a game, the situation would be simpler, but that wasn’t the case. The reason why Si Eun-cheol consistently told the same words was because that was the script stuck to his tongue.
Longtime friends, the only Dominants in high school, became each other’s fly swatters… It was a repertoire that had become a habit from saying it too often. Before Kang Hae-ah appeared between them, Si Eun-cheol-ssi had repeatedly said the same words to countless ‘flies’.
Two things became clear.
One, Si Eun-cheol-ssi was indeed an excellent electric fly swatter.
Two, he was the Nazi general of the Omega world.
“I’m telling you in advance, don’t misunderstand. Tae-rim’s acquaintances have misunderstood quite a bit so far. They even get jealous.”
“I see.”
“Honestly, it’s true that most Dominant Alphas meet Dominant Omegas.”
“Ah, is that so.”
He nodded and reviewed the story he already knew. Si Eun-cheol, the instructor who didn’t know that the Kang fly was a re-sitting fly, seemed upset by his bad attitude.
He had no intention of fighting with him at all. Even if he did fight, who would he be fighting over? Over Cheon Tae-rim-ssi? He wasn’t stupid enough to have a war of nerves with his friend over a man who wouldn’t love him anyway.
The calculation that his friend, who had been his hands, feet, and fly swatter for over 10 years, had a higher chance of winning than him, a partner suddenly formed through an arranged marriage, was completed very naturally.
“I’m recessive and Eun-cheol-ssi is Dominant, so if you only consider the class, it’s true that I’m more compatible with Tae-rim-ssi. I don’t get angry about things like that.”
So he wanted to pull out in advance. If he raised the white flag and stepped out of the ring, Si Eun-cheol-ssi wouldn’t bother catching a fainted fly.
“If Tae-rim-ssi isn’t satisfied with me, then… well, there’s nothing I can do. I don’t mind if Eun-cheol-ssi helps.”
He faced his face, which was calmly reciting the facts, with a flustered look. He seemed to have expected him to blush and get angry because he was treated like a fly. He was sorry for not meeting his expectations, but he didn’t have the energy to do that.
“It’s true that we’re married, but… you could say we’re cooperative partners, well, that’s how we talked about it. I told you that I wouldn’t say anything if Tae-rim-ssi found another partner… Huh? I guess you didn’t hear?”
As he babbled, the string of his consciousness reached an ambiguous curiosity.
Tae-rim-ssi was each other’s fly swatter, as Si Eun-cheol-ssi said… It was also true that he kept Si Eun-cheol-ssi quite close. They even talked on the phone once a day in Florence. So he thought his story would have been conveyed to each other.
But why did Si Eun-cheol-ssi try to kill his spirit by repeating the same story with the exact same expression as 6 years ago?
“…Why didn’t you tell Eun-cheol-ssi such an important story?”
He just asked out of curiosity. And he was very surprised. Si Eun-cheol was rarely angry, and his neck was turning red. He had an expression that wouldn’t be strange even if he slapped him in the face right now.
Without realizing it, he clenched his teeth. The tip of his chin tightened and his neck became stiff. He didn’t want to be hit by someone else’s fist anymore. He hated it so much that even if he just faced someone’s angry face, he imagined him hitting him first.
“Oh… I didn’t mean to.”
A pathetic excuse leaked out of his teeth. Si Eun-cheol’s eyes, looking at him like that, were distorted in a way he had never seen before. He had only tried to point out the facts, but his words had torn apart his pride.
“Hae-ah, let me give you some advice as Tae-rim’s friend.”
Si Eun-cheol spoke slowly. Usually, the words he said ‘as Tae-rim’s friend’ were no different from hit-and-run. If he let his guard down and listened, he was likely to be suddenly kicked and trampled.
“…Whether Hae-ah is a child of a chaebol family or a successful painter, she’s just a recessive Omega next to a Dominant Alpha.”
Hmm… That was true.
“Essentially, you don’t suit Tae-rim, Kang Hae-ah. You’ll have to work hard for the rest of your life. As a fellow Omega, I thought Hae-ah should know that.”
Hmm. That was also true.
“Even if Cheon Tae-rim is interested in you and treats you well right now, how many years do you think it will last? Think about the future, Kang Hae-ah. Seriously, imagine what you’ll look like in 3 or 4 years…”
He didn’t want to hear the rest of the story. There was no need to think about the future. He was already someone who had seen the ending of this marriage. He was someone who had met a cold death on a sofa covered in vinyl. So he didn’t want to talk about that story as much as possible.
So he quickly ran to him. He stretched out his arms, wrapped them around Si Eun-cheol’s waist, and hugged him tightly.
“……”
The moment he wrapped his arms around the man who hated him, treating him like a fly, his heart screamed ‘I hate it’. Goosebumps rose on his forearms.
But it was necessary, a way to block the pouring abuse. At least a hug that he held on to tightly was necessary for him.
The pathetic hug was the only rebellion he knew how to do. It was also a method of pleading that he used on Hyung when he was very young. Whether it was because he was compared to his older sister, scolded by his Father, or because he really made a mistake, Hyung always looked for him when he was angry. It was natural for him to swing his fists, and he often kicked him. Every time, he would pretend to be a kind fool and hug Hyung.
He would hug him, saying silly things like ‘Why are you doing this, don’t be angry’, and often kiss him on the cheek, just like he did to Father from time to time. When he was still young and heard that he was cute, that method worked. Looking back, he preferred that time…
…The same method worked for Si Eun-cheol as well. However, the effect was different. Even though he had an inflated ego, he was not Kang Il-hae, a grumpy young master with affection deficiency, so the humiliating hug didn’t relieve his anger. Rather, he was disgusted that a dirty and terrible recessive Omega was recklessly touching him.
As expected, Si Eun-cheol raised his voice.
“What… what is this?”
Soon, his hand roughly pushed him away. As he staggered backward from the pushing hand, the gaze he met was like looking at a bug.
As he was hit by that gaze, he let out a hot breath. It felt like a large stone was sitting in his lungs. His breath was completely blocked and wouldn’t open up. He couldn’t tell whether it was because of Hyung, who treated him like a punching bag, or because of Si Eun-cheol, who casually tore apart his day with bad words, or whether the two of them were normal and he was just a stupid idiot.
On the other hand, he was suddenly… happy.
‘Yeah… you feel terrible too, right?’
A perverted desire suddenly raised its head. It was the moment he found out how to ruin Si Eun-cheol’s mood just as much as he hated him, treating him like trash.
He hugged him again. He hugged him tightly and put strength into his arms. He put his chin on his shoulder and made his cheek touch his ear.
Si Eun-cheol pushed him away in the same way, but this time the touch wasn’t painful because he was surprised and his strength was gone.
Instead of being pushed back, he grabbed Si Eun-cheol’s shirt collar. He grabbed his collar and pulled him in. He brought his lips to his lips, which tore apart his self-esteem like waste paper.
He pressed his lips so hard that even the upper teeth behind his lips tingled,
“What! What, what are you doing…”
Like a fool, he began to stammer.
Stammering had been Kang Hae-ah’s job until now, but not from today. Si Eun-cheol, who was shaking off his arms and wiping his lips, looked very funny. There wasn’t much he had to do while looking at his expression as if he had eaten a bug while sleeping.
“Don’t blush, we’ll be seeing each other often.”
He smiled brightly and greeted him like that, then walked towards the party hall.
Behind his back,
“No, Kang Hae-ah! Are you crazy?”
Si Eun-cheol shouted.
‘Yeah, I’m crazy. I must be crazy to be this hurt.’
As he laughed silently, his throat was happy, but the tip of his nose was filled with rising tears.
‘Yeah. That’s right. I’m crazy…’
I wish someone would catch me at times like this…
It was the first time he had such complicated feelings. His heart was relieved but his head was dizzy, and he was very sad but a hollow laugh kept leaking out. He kissed Si Eun-cheol, and those lips were fluffy, so it was a good kiss.
He wondered if he had really gone crazy… He dragged his body, which he suspected was crazy, and walked out. To blend in with the guests who didn’t know Kang Hae-ah well, to pretend to be normal.
The garden party ended early before sunset. The employees who had been collecting the gifts brought by the guests were busy returning the gifts he had prepared to the designated guests. Of course, he personally delivered the gifts to his Father-in-law and Mother-in-law.
He had a short conversation with his Mother-in-law and shared a long hug before she returned home. He almost cried like a fool, but he held it in with a smile.
Tae-rim-ssi was as busy as he was, but mostly because of the guests who asked about business matters. Some writers asked him about his next exhibition, and the madams seemed to want to win the favor of the handsome Tae-rim-ssi.
Among them, the most noticeable person was definitely his Hyung, Kang Il-hae. He was already talking informally with Tae-rim-ssi and was in the middle of acting as ‘Kang Hae-ah’s good Hyung’. The back of his head, which had been hit by Hyung, was still tingling, but seeing his face reciting childhood memories with lies made his head feel even more pulled.
‘Well, there’s nothing bad about it. I have to pretend to be a beloved youngest son…’
When he saw Il-hae Hyung, the first thing that came to his mind was the airplane window with breath on it. He had looked down at the clouds outside the window with tears, snot, and sad breaths. He had been like that since he was very young.
When he was around six years old, he cried because he hated studying abroad, asking why he was the only one who had to live apart, and when he was in his adolescence, he cried every holiday because he hated going back to Korea. The time he spent in Seoul was a few weeks at most, and a few days at least, but he hated even that to death. He was afraid of being beaten by Hyung every time he attended family events.
In particular, it was even more terrible during the charity events for Chairman Kang Jun-il’s ‘affectionate Father who lost his wife’ cosplay. The purpose of the event, which was held every year on his birthday, which was known to the world as his Mother’s death anniversary, was good, but he felt that Hyung’s hatred towards him was strengthened every time.
When he was fifteen, he was caught at the airport trying to board a plane to Paris. It was because a security guard caught something strange about his ankle. She was worried about him, saying that he seemed injured and asked if he would be okay with a long flight, but his reaction was sharp in his young mind. He got angry, telling her not to talk nonsense, and even her boss came and made her apologize.
In fact, he just didn’t want to stay in Seoul for a long time because he had to go to the hospital. He thought that Hyung might kill him if he was caught by others that he had been beaten. The time on the plane, which he boarded against his will, was not pleasant either. As soon as he arrived in Paris, he had to go to the hospital, and he had to receive ankle treatment for two more months.
Sometimes he thought of the face of the security guard he saw that day. What was she thinking while looking at the chaebol’s brat who insisted that he wasn’t hurt?
‘I’m sorry. I must have seen it wrong.’
He couldn’t forget the face that apologized while matching his lies. Whenever he thought of that troubled expression, he was also followed by shame for belatedly sending money and luxury bags instead of an apology that he was sorry. That’s why he hated it.
The youngest son of Hanseong Group who grew up without any shortcomings, a painter with good brains and skills, and a newlywed who even had his Omega awakening at the right time. Kang Hae-ah had to be that kind of person.
The card Chairman Kang Jun-il was about to discard, the brute who grew up being beaten by Hyung, the man who lived as a Beta and committed suicide, was not Kang Hae-ah. If that Kang Hae-ah became known to the world, he would be scorned by an unspecified number of people. Pitiful looks, sympathetic gazes… In my life, one security guard I met at fifteen was enough to show me those eyes.
It was even more so today. Now, I am Cheon Tae-rim’s husband before I am the artist Kang Hae-ah. I didn’t even want to imagine what Tae-rim-ssi’s pride would be like if people found out he married a pathetic guy that even his own family couldn’t love.
The only person I care about in this world is Cheon Tae-rim. Only things related to him are important. The human being Kang Hae-ah, and what he looks like next to him, were important.
After all the guests left, the garden party venue began to be cleaned up. I promised to pay the employees, who were moving quickly, for the time they had been pushed back, and I didn’t bother to check the contracts that Ok-hye-ssi had collected. The daily employment contracts, which contained a clause stating that ‘people who saw and heard stories at this event today will not disclose them to the outside world,’ were utterly useless.
I had held similar parties several times, but there had never been a single instance of people who came to work at a chaebol’s house for a day taking conversations from here outside. People weren’t that interested in our lives. Even if their acquaintances happened to be curious,
‘So, how much do they pay at Kang Hae-ah’s party?’
That was the kind of question they would ask.
I looked around the tables that were being quickly cleaned up and turned around. Tae-rim-ssi, who had been held back by Hyung and had a long conversation, was walking across the garden.
Like a student waiting for an award, I was excited. Anticipation filled me, turning into a smile.
Coming right up to my smiling face, Tae-rim-ssi slowly stopped.
I was looking forward to the story that would come out of him. Unlike last time, I had decorated today’s party wonderfully, so I was thrilled, hoping he would at least say something like ‘I saw you differently’ or ‘I had fun today.’ As I looked up at Tae-rim-ssi, waiting for a word of praise to come,
“Why are Alphas and Omegas mixed at every table?”
The words that came out of his mouth dumbfounded me.
I was speechless, but not because I had nothing to say. It was because there were too many thoughts trying to burst out at once. It was Cheon Tae-rim who had been angry before when I had arranged the seats with Alphas together and Omegas together, saying, ‘What will the guests think of us?’
‘Are you kidding me right now?’
So, I paid attention and arranged the table seats as he wanted, regardless of whether they were Alpha or Omega. I didn’t care at all whether Si Eun-cheol-ssi, an Omega, sat next to Cheon Tae-rim, a Dominant Alpha, or Teacher Im, a Beta. As Tae-rim-ssi had wanted in the past, I became a cool party planner.
But now he was saying, ‘Why are Alphas and Omegas mixed?’ For the first time in my life, I almost got angry at Tae-rim-ssi.
“What’s wrong with the seating arrangement? …If Alphas and Omegas sat separately, you would have said something about them sitting separately.”
My voice was just as grumpy. I felt bitter in my mouth after spitting it out in anger.
I had already had a hard day, but I still tried to cheer up, and I couldn’t believe that Tae-rim-ssi was saying this to me. At least for today, I wanted him to take my side, to tell me I did a good job. That one expression was all I was hoping for when I prepared the party….
“Still, next to Hae-ah-ssi….”
Tae-rim-ssi opened his mouth to say something,
“…Never mind.”
He finished with a sigh.
Shaking his head, Tae-rim-ssi rolled up his shirt sleeves. I had to stop him from helping with the table cleanup. I grabbed his arm, saying, ‘Why are you cleaning up this heavy stuff when there are people working?’ and he looked down at my hand with an unreadable expression.
I wondered if he was upset because I suddenly touched him, so I let go of his hand. Tae-rim-ssi put down the chair he had lifted with a thud. Then, with his hand on the backrest, he looked down at me.
“Are you feeling a little better now?”
Tae-rim-ssi asked. Before I could make a stupid noise like ‘What do you mean…,’ my head was working hard.
In this situation, there was only one thing he could be asking about. He seemed to be concerned about whether my stabilization period was going well.
“Ah…, yes. I’m fine now. They say the stabilization period will be over soon.”
Then, I showed him my open hands. I held back the urge to tell him in detail that I wouldn’t lose strength in my legs even if I touched an Alpha, that I wouldn’t go crazy and hug him because of Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s body scent, that I wouldn’t suddenly do crazy things like rubbing my face on his palms….
As Tae-rim-ssi and I stared at each other in silence, one of the employees cautiously approached. Tae-rim-ssi picked up a chair and handed it to him as he hesitated and reached out his arm. The chair, which was lifted easily in his hand, was so light that it could be mistaken for a handbag, but when the employee awkwardly received it with both arms, it was indeed a heavy wooden chair.
“Tae-rim-ssi, I have something I’m curious about too.”
I said, chasing after Tae-rim-ssi as he returned to the house with the lights on.
“Did you ever date Si Eun-cheol-ssi?”
It was a question I wouldn’t be able to ask today if I didn’t ask right now. Tae-rim-ssi’s reaction was so dynamic that I wanted to capture it in a photo. He widened his eyes as if he had heard something he couldn’t possibly hear, and then glared at me briefly.
“Why on earth are you asking such a question?”
“Did you or didn’t you?”
“Absolutely not.”
I carefully examined Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s neck, who even took a breath as if he was dumbfounded. However, there was no change in color on his thick neck, which usually turned red whenever he was embarrassed. Rather, his eyes, which held me, seemed to be filled with resentment.
I liked that expression on his face, as if he had been asked if he had ever eaten dog poop. The feeling of being upset just a minute ago was clearing up brightly.
“Do you have any plans to do so in the future?”
I asked, suppressing a smile, and
“No, absolutely not.”
Tae-rim-ssi replied immediately. His answer was so loud that even the employees moving the tables must have heard it.
I knew he had signed the contract, but I hoped this story would be spread until it reached Si Eun-cheol’s ears.
“Hmm, is that so? …Then that’s fine.”
It seemed that Si Eun-cheol, who was twenty-eight years old, was just having a crush on Cheon Tae-rim, who was twenty-eight years old. I wanted to bring Cheon Tae-rim at twenty-nine, thirty, and thirty-one and put him on a lie detector and ask the same question, but today, Cheon Tae-rim at twenty-eight was satisfying enough.
‘Yeah, I would have done the same if I were Si Eun-cheol.’
Even such a generous heart bloomed like a flower. How could he not have liked Cheon Tae-rim, the only Dominant Alpha in the school during his adolescence, who went to the same university, served in the military, and later became employed by him as his secretary?
On the other hand, I was envious of Si Eun-cheol. If I had been a Dominant Omega, would I have been able to not be ashamed of my feelings for Tae-rim-ssi…? I was so envious that my throat was parched.
“Is that all the questions you have?”
This time, Tae-rim-ssi followed me as I hummed and walked into the kitchen.
“Do you have anything else to say?”
“Huh? Yes. No, I don’t….”
As I touched my chin and blinked back, Tae-rim-ssi strode closer. As he stood right in front of me, Ok-hye-ssi, who was preparing dinner, quickly left the spot. I wanted to shout and stop Ok-hye-ssi, who was running away to the second floor as if there was something to clean up.
“Why, what’s wrong?”
Standing so close, the height difference between him and me became even more pronounced. His black eyes, looking down at me, were so clear, but even that was compared to my eyes, which were only trembling as I looked up at him. It was a striking moment to see who was the apex predator and who was the helpless rabbit.
Tae-rim-ssi moved even closer by half a step. His knee touched my thigh. I tried to pull away because I felt like I could feel his breath, but the table bumped into my butt. If Tae-rim-ssi took just one more step, I might have to climb onto the table and run away.
Slowly, he opened his mouth.
“Let me ask you one thing too. Who is Im Geon?”
I was rather drained by the serious question he asked. I thought he was going to say something important, but I wondered why he was suddenly talking about Teacher Im.
“Teacher Im? He’s just a close art critic who takes care of things for me whenever I have an exhibition.”
After replying like that, I waited for the next words. It was the timing to attach any trivial question.
But Tae-rim-ssi was silent. Like someone organizing his thoughts, he rolled his eyes for a moment, then took half a step back again. I was grateful that he was giving me some breathing room, but I felt a bit empty.
“Is that… is that all the questions you have?”
I asked, and
“That’s all. I have nothing more to say.”
Tae-rim-ssi replied matter-of-factly. I felt strangely déjà vu.
I was puzzled as to why he was asking about Teacher Im of all people.
‘Well, we did date briefly more than seven years ago, but it was so long ago and it was just for a short time, so there’s no need to tell Tae-rim-ssi.’
…As soon as I thought that, I realized.
It was an event from seven years ago for me, but it was an event from one year ago for Kang Hae-ah, who was twenty-six years old. Did someone mention that at today’s party, and that’s why Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s nerves were frayed? A hunch suddenly arose.
Certainly, everything was flowing just a little differently.
Because the garden party schedule was moved up, Teacher Im, who couldn’t come because of a business trip, met Cheon Tae-rim-ssi today. Because Tae-rim-ssi was focused on the new guest, Si Eun-cheol was more upset than usual. Il-hae hyung scolded me for firing the party planner he had attached to me. Thanks to that, my head became hot, and I acted like a crazy person to Si Eun-cheol, and while I and Si Eun-cheol were away, Cheon Tae-rim-ssi had more conversations with Teacher Im….
“…Could that be why you were worried?”
I asked, and
“……”
Tae-rim-ssi was silent.
Now, I felt like the scattered pieces were falling into place.
“Ah, I see. You were worried that people would think it was strange. Oh, there’s no need to worry. No one knows that Teacher Im and I met. We dated for exactly a week and then broke up. The teacher is a Beta, and I was pre-awakening at the time, so nothing happened. Meeting someone who evaluates my work isn’t a good thing.”
I was proud that I had unraveled the cause and effect of why Tae-rim-ssi was upset. I worked hard to explain Teacher Im and me so that there would be no misunderstandings again.
Tae-rim-ssi listened to my story, which was full of energy and a bit of laughter, with his eyebrows furrowed.
“I didn’t ask because of what other people think.”
He cut me off.
“Then why?”
“Do you have to ask because you don’t know?”
“Uh….”
This question was difficult. I had no clue what he was asking because I didn’t know.
I just blinked and looked up at Cheon Tae-rim-ssi’s handsome, upset face. This time, he didn’t give me a suitable ending like ‘Never mind.’
The oven beeped.