By Zephyria After a long silence, Hugo met Leonardo’s golden eyes again with a look of confusion and complexity.
His head was dominated by chaos, and his heart ached with pity. It was pity for him for waiting for him, and pity for judging and doing things to ‘him’ as a human being.
He thought he had seen many hidden aspects of Leonardo while watching him, but Hugo realized through his words that it was arrogance. At the same time, the countless worries that this young man in front of him might have had alone, and his heart that had been agonizing over his responsibilities, suddenly and heavily struck him.
Leonardo looked at Hugo’s face, which seemed to be thinking a lot after hearing his words, then lowered his eyes and bowed his head.
Hugo carefully examined his appearance. He could see the eyelashes, with fatigue settling between the blond hair, trembling finely. As he took in that weakness, the words he had uttered echoed in his head. Hugo recalled them and barely opened his mouth.
“You were, waiting for me.”
Leonardo realized what he had just said in the heat of the moment only after hearing his low voice. He felt extreme regret wash over him and touched his lips. Then, he frowned in confusion and turned his head.
“No, I mean―.”
But he couldn’t continue, his words were cut off, and he sighed softly.
Hugo waited for his next words for a while, and when the silence continued, he continued to speak.
“Caring about my responsibilities.”
“…….”
“Doubting your own abilities.”
Leonardo ran a hand over his dry face as he listened to Hugo’s enumeration. He was frustrated with himself for constantly being swayed by emotions and saying unnecessary things.
How long had they been together?
He felt like he would only look strange to him. Hugo Agrizendro was the only person who had said he would try to trust him here, but from a really objective point of view, he was a person who had many things to worry about besides the existence of Leonardo Blaine.
So, in fact, he had no obligation to trust him, and no reason to understand his thoughts. From the beginning, they were in a position where the direction and size of their thoughts could not be the same when looking at one thing.
Because he knew that so well, Leonardo hated the way he kept expecting something from this person.
He felt incredibly foolish for feeling a sense of connection as if he had seen something of his pitiful side just because they had had a little conversation at night as human beings.
And he felt that he was contradictory for feeling some ambiguous emotion that was both uncomfortable and annoying with him for constantly caring about him and trying to talk to him, and at the same time, it was the opposite.
Hugo looked at him with sunken eyes, filled with pity for him and self-doubt, and said.
“…I didn’t know you were thinking that.”
Leonardo couldn’t raise his head because his mind was complicated. He was just treating the poor guy humanely.
There was nothing more tiring to the other person than one-sided expectations and trust. He was just going ahead on his own.
So, it was when Leonardo was thinking that he would be in trouble.
“I’m sorry.”
Leonardo, who had paused at the low echo that brushed past his ears, raised his head. It was to make sure he had heard correctly. Agrizendro’s eyes, which he looked at again, were mixed with emotions as complex as his own.
Hugo continued seriously, his golden eyes facing him.
“I didn’t mean to put a burden on you. I certainly didn’t mean to restrict your judgment and actions by using my responsibilities as a hostage.”
“…….”
“I didn’t know you were thinking so deeply about my words and responsibilities.”
Hugo recalled the moment when Dermokas appeared near the base camp for the first time and he confronted Leonardo’s unstable control and mentioned it to him.
Seeing Leonardo, who had looked displeased at the time and went into the tent, he thought that he was very proud of this issue and regarded it as a flaw that he didn’t want to admit. So he thought that if he directly mentioned and sanctioned it, he might get angry.
Because of that, he dismissed his words that he would take care of this issue on his own as bravado, and when he continued to show unstable control, he tried to test him silently before a real crisis occurred.
But the moment he heard what Leonardo had been thinking, he thought, ‘If only I had talked to him one more time without making assumptions.’
“I was short-sighted.”
Of course, he still wasn’t sure if he could really avoid hurting people or prevent danger even if his control was unstable. From the beginning, it was an event that hadn’t happened, so neither Leonardo nor he would know the answer.
However, if he had talked to him one more time, he wouldn’t have chosen to test him to find the answer to that.
“I’m sorry for testing you.”
Leonardo looked at each of Hugo’s two eyes as he spoke seriously to him. The eyelids, which cast shadows over the blue eyes, slowly lowered and then rose, and then the clear gaze was directed at him.
“You must have been more anxious because you were doubting your abilities and more reluctant because it was an underwater battle. In the midst of all that, thank you for thinking about my responsibilities and the safety of the members first and jumping in and fighting in my place. And―.”
Hugo put his hands together over Leonardo’s hands.
“I’m sorry for making you wait, Leonardo. I apologize again.”
At those words, Leonardo, who had been looking at Hugo’s face, felt his head go blank.
Was I trying to get an apology? No, I hadn’t even thought about that.
Because he was the legion commander, and he wouldn’t have made the wrong decision.
The person in front of him was affiliated with the Council, but in the Imperial Army where Leonardo was, it was impossible to object to or question the decisions made by superiors. Leonardo, who had been in such an environment, felt like he had heard something he shouldn’t have when he heard the legion commander’s apology.
He was clearly laughing and angry at the sight of himself becoming a fool alone between his trust in him and the responsibility he had, and he was annoyed by him acting like he was the most rational person in the world. But now, Leonardo couldn’t say anything because Hugo seemed to be blaming himself for his actions.
His head was all complicated and confused.
After a long silence, Leonardo gave a little strength to his hand to pull it out of Hugo’s hand. Then, this time, the hand easily slipped out because the other person had loosened his strength. He was even more embarrassed by that and stared at his hand, then turned his eyes to somewhere else.
“No, no….”
Leonardo bit his lip as his words kept getting stuck, then sighed with annoyance. Then, he furrowed his brow, ran his hand through his hair, and tried to reply coldly.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize. I won’t have to wait for you anymore.”
‘It’s better this way.’
He closed his eyes slightly to organize his thoughts, then opened them and looked at Hugo clearly and said.
“We’ll be breaking up when the subjugation is over, so there’s no need to try to resolve it like this. I don’t want to talk to you much about anything other than subjugation-related matters in the future. You and I won’t be meeting anymore when this is over.”
It was only because of the special nature of the situation he was in that he had softened, and anyway, there was nothing good for him to build private relationships with the people here. Thinking that way, Hugo’s lips slightly parted and then closed again at Leonardo’s words that drew a line.
Hugo calmly accepted Leonardo’s words.
Leonardo Blaine’s role in the subjugation party was to catch demon beasts, not to get along with him or the members.
Protecting the members who went into the water was also not an obligation because he had not given the order. But he always protected people as a matter of course. Saying that it was his job.
In the first place, if Leonardo was a person who didn’t care about the safety of the members, would he have been able to test him?
Hugo organized the many thoughts that came to mind while lowering his gaze for a moment. Then, he soon opened his mouth again.
“You were a much more mature person than I thought, but as a result, I wasn’t.”
Leonardo looked at Hugo without saying a word.
“Thank you for telling me what you had inside you. Rather than trying to resolve it, I just wanted to know your thoughts.”
Hugo calmly continued to speak to him.
“As you said, you and I may not have any further encounters once this is over. And even right now, as a Legion Commander, I might not be able to trust you as much as you hoped.”
“……”
“However, I promise that I will not jump to conclusions or judge you in the future. Also, as much as you have taken my responsibilities seriously, and as much as you have acted with deliberation, I promise that I will consider your position once more and listen to your words.”
Leonardo simply blinked, as if something was strange. It was because he wondered if he hadn’t understood his words about drawing a line.
Why would someone who is a Legion Commander care so much about an outsider who is not even a member, but even further removed, and who will soon be parting ways, and make so many promises? He could just ignore it and move on.
His words felt so sincere that he was left wondering. It wasn’t like he was someone who would lie.
Leonardo’s gaze was confused, with various thoughts mixed together. Hugo conveyed to him in a slightly bitter tone.
“I know very well that whatever I say now will not easily ease your feelings. There is no need to force yourself to feel better. But there is no need to keep it to yourself either. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. However, if you ever have something you want to say, tell me anytime.”
He seemed to hold back his words for a moment, then gazed at Leonardo with unwavering eyes.
“This time, I will wait for you.”