By Zephyria His loosely closed eyelids trembled faintly as he felt his breath. Both of them knew that the small tremor that tickled his firm lower lip indicated agitation.
Perhaps that’s why Leonardo simply closed his eyes tightly. It was because he didn’t want to reveal his inner thoughts to the other person.
But the lowered blue eyes examined his expression for a moment before pressing down on his lips again.
As he left a hot trail on his Gold Eyes along his wet outline, he eventually reached his eyes. He lingered over the tear marks, then slowly slid down past his smooth cheekbones to his cheeks, which had not yet lost their baby fat.
His large hand pressed down on the palm that cupped his cheek. He knows it himself. It’s an act that’s a bit too intense to be called pity or sympathy. It was an atmosphere that could be dangerous, but around that time, Hugo reminded himself of his duty and slowly pulled his head back. The golden eyelashes that had been facing down slowly rose. With his clear face and moist eyes, it felt as if I had become the worst villain of the century.
‘Or maybe he’s just a really bad guy.’
Hugo rubbed the sensation lingering on his lower lip, displaying as much indifference on his face as he could muster. He tried hard to erase the precariousness clinging to his sensitive skin. He adored his young nephews who occasionally visited the mansion, but he never went this far, no matter what.
Clearly, personal feelings were making him disregard procedure entirely, even though there were still many problems to solve. The scent of sunshine filling the room made his head feel dull. Hugo briefly turned his head, wiping his face, unsure of what expression he was wearing.
Soon, he put on the mask of a kind adult and asked softly, as if speaking to a child,
“Did you have a nightmare?”
It was a perfectly ordinary question to ask in the current situation. But at that moment, Leonardo Blaine’s eyebrows, which had been relaxed, twitched in response.
In contrast, his bright yellow eyes didn’t waver in the slightest. Rather, the contrast made him aware that an eerie aura was spreading around Leonardo.
“Nightmare?”
The tone of his question was stiff, almost sharp. Maybe it was because his voice was hoarse, but it certainly wasn’t a welcoming sound.
“A nightmare, you say?”
Leonardo scoffed, repeating the question. The corners of his lips twisted upward, but his eyes weren’t smiling at all. Hugo sensed that something was wrong.
Then, Leonardo suddenly jumped out of bed.
He staggered off the bed, barefoot, walking as if performing acrobatics, unsure of where he was going.
“Wait, Leo—”
Hugo, caught off guard, stood up and grabbed his arm. Leonardo tried to shake him off forcefully, but he seemed to have a sudden dizzy spell, and his upper body lost its balance and slumped forward.
“Ugh—”
Fortunately, Hugo quickly caught his waist and supported him, preventing him from falling. But Leonardo, barely regaining his balance, grabbed the other man’s shoulder and pushed him away forcefully. Meanwhile, his head was bowed so low that his neck seemed to be bent, and his gaze was fixed on their tangled feet. His wet bangs completely covered his face, so Hugo had no way of knowing what expression he was wearing.
“Leonardo Blaine, calm down and let’s talk. Let’s go back to bed. You shouldn’t be getting up already.”
“No, no…”
The low voice, mumbling as he bit his lip, clearly didn’t sound good. Hugo considered forcibly picking him up and carrying him, but he thought it would only backfire, so he leaned in to at least check his complexion.
In that instant, Leonardo suddenly raised his head.
“It’s not a nightmare.”
“…What?”
“It’s not a nightmare, it’s reality.”
Suddenly widening his eyes and saying something incomprehensible, Hugo could only manage a bewildered question. Leonardo’s eyes lost focus again and trembled. As Hugo remained silent, feeling a creeping sense of unease, he mumbled once more.
“Majes, Maje…”
It was a name Hugo had never heard before. Before Hugo could even wonder about it, Leonardo continued.
“Majes Polleanor. Southern Deparnel Plains, Rockfesha Highlands. Assigned to the 1st Advance Unit for the blockade operation of the Turandos Army’s 3rd Key Stronghold.”
He recited the personal details of some soldier Hugo didn’t know. But it was as if he was reading directly from a book, with very fast and accurate pronunciation.
“April 13, 993. Majes Polleanor, Vigo Raven, Karen Alistair, Leonardo Blaine, the above four have received permission for leave. Reporting as such. Thank you for your hard work.”
Hugo found Leonardo’s recent words even more chilling than when he had tried to strangle himself. The way he was muttering with a blank expression made it seem as if he was in the same space but seeing something different.
Then, suddenly, Leonardo let go of Hugo’s shoulder, which he had been holding, and leaned against the wall. Dragging his feet, he reached the sofa in the middle of the room.
He sat down, half his thigh on the armrest, staring blankly into space.
“Let’s go to the village in Celeston, the kids said. It’s surrounded by the Black Forest to the west, and that’s the only place that sells decent cigarettes.”
This time, his tone changed again.
“I told him to have a drink too, but Majes, that idiot, said he was going to buy a new jacket when he got his paycheck this time. That bastard’s secretly interested in clothes. Even though he wears nothing but his uniform seven days a week.”
It was a monotonous and light tone, as if telling an old story to a friend. But his expression didn’t match. His neck was strained, and his jaw and lips trembled as if he was holding back resentment.
He continued to ramble incoherently, but he recited it without hesitation, as if recalling vivid memories.
“He said he was saving money, and he kept refusing to go, so Vigo and I forcibly coaxed him. And then, on the way to the village, there was an old woman. She told us that she had hurt her leg and asked us to help her. Ugh, damn it, her accent was definitely Turandosian, damn it—. Why couldn’t I have noticed that, like an idiot? I should have known from the moment she called us over, not knowing how scary the Imperial Army was.”
The suppressed sobs in between made it clear how immersed he was in the situation. Hugo intuitively realized that Leonardo was talking about his past. 993 was a full six years ago from now. At most, he was in his mid-teens, still too young to be a soldier.
“Karen said it was strange for civilians to be near the border, and that we should just go, but Majes, that idiot, said it reminded him of his dead mother, so he carried her on his back, ugh—.”
“……”
“There were dozens of booby traps planted on the old woman’s body! Majes was blown to pieces with that bitch! Damn it, Majes’s head flew off, and his limbs were torn apart—. Blood was bursting out with his intestines, have you ever heard the sound of vocal cords tearing? That fucking sound, the sound of dying alive!”
Leonardo shouted, tearing at his hair with both hands.
“His arm fell on my face, and I was holding it in my hand because I was afraid of losing it! How is he going to wear a new jacket? If he doesn’t have a head, and he doesn’t have an arm, how, how—.”
His face quickly flushed red, and he continued to shed tears thicker than pearls. But this time, Hugo couldn’t comfort Leonardo. He couldn’t say anything to him.
“The Gergan Attrition Defense Line, yeah, damn it, back then too. Back then, the idiots were flirting and having sex in the outpost, and Jane got pregnant. She was told to return to the main camp, but she said she would be forcibly discharged, and that her family was all she had, so she asked us to hide her.
Her dad ran away to another unit, and Jane was transferred to a rear unit and lasted for five months, but she couldn’t eat well, so her belly wasn’t that big. What an idiot. But then, they were ambushed in the western canyon, and while retreating, she, ha, why did she have to step on a landmine—.
Half of her lower body was already blown away, but she told me, Blaine, please save my baby, Blaine! Please get my baby out before I die!
She’s asking me to help her, but a baby that’s only five months old, damn it, how am I supposed to get it out—!”
The words heard amidst the wails were like thorns piercing his ears. Hugo could only stand there dumbfounded, as if witnessing the tragedy firsthand.
“I’ve dissected monsters, but how can I cut open a comrade’s belly? Ha, what if I accidentally cut the baby too? The blade would be rusty and necrotic, and if I killed my comrade with my own hands and couldn’t save the baby—, …Ugh.”
At that moment, Leonardo, who had hurriedly covered his mouth, jumped up from the sofa. His damp feet skipped over the rug and stepped on the marble floor with a distinct thud, thud, thud. He ran out as if he was about to fall, roughly opened the bathroom door, and plunged his head into the sink.
It all happened so quickly that Hugo didn’t even have time to react.
A sound like an animal panting echoed in the quiet room.
“Leo…”
The frail body, buried in darkness without even turning on the light, was convulsing severely in the abdomen. As if possessed, Hugo quickly approached him. Then, deliberately not turning on the light, he gently patted Leonardo’s back.
Leonardo continued to vomit stomach acid, unaware that the blood vessels around his eyes were bursting and forming red spots. Since he hadn’t eaten much, there was no way anything else would come out.
But even so, he heaved his shoulders, trying to empty his stuffy insides. As if trying to shake off the aura of death within him, he gasped for breath to live, as he always had.