By Zephyria 
“Do you know why those guys all developed such vulgar tastes?”
Vulgar tastes…? Was he talking about the secret tastes of the Love interest that I had discovered when I was still pretending that this world was a game? The secret tastes of those I had only thought of as characters flashed through my mind.
Kyle was forbidden relationships, Adrian was someone you wanted to make cry, Lennox was someone you wanted to throw into the mud, Kyle was someone you wanted to protect… and Andrew was Noah Hamilton, not his brother.
“Even if you turn back time, the emotions that are deeply imprinted under human instincts don’t change much. Especially if it’s something so impressive that it shocks the soul. Those guys’ twisted tastes… they were all born from the desire for the first you.”
Allen continued in a sonorous voice. The voice, no longer youthful but just low and serious, rang out so clearly and transparently. Perhaps it was because his emotions in his words were so joyful.
He spoke of a noble knight who secretly harbored feelings for the one he served, and when the Empress, who had chosen to fall apart in order to let go of her mind, reached out to him, he could not refuse. The knight, who had been watching the Emperor love the Empress with all his heart, crossed the forbidden line with a heart that was killing himself. The honor that was buried at the bottom didn’t matter from the start.
Then what about the Emperor, who was so devoted? The Empress, whom he had obeyed, cherished, and loved all his life, had been drying up and shedding tears ever since. Even then, she didn’t cry openly in front of him, but secretly hid her face in guilt. The Emperor didn’t give up and kept asking. If he couldn’t make her white face, which was shedding tears, smile, he wanted to know the reason. In the meantime, he naturally realized that he himself did not exist in the Empress’s heart. He shouldn’t even have felt betrayed, but why wouldn’t there have been a hint of resentment?
“So, perhaps that’s why there’s a pretty strong desire to make you cry in the depths of his subconscious. Not for someone else’s sake… but only because of Adrian Pearson. How vulgar, right?”
The way he sighed and shook his head as if he was bored was infuriating. He easily rattled off the story of a Little Duke who had bitterly despaired at seeing his lover, who had chosen death with the sword he had made to protect him, and a Sorcerer from the past who could not even dream of monopolizing him due to the difference in their innate status.
…….
It would be a lie to say that I hadn’t guessed at all. To some extent, I had expected it, but… having it confirmed like this made my stomach boil again. What should I do with this sin…? How…?
“As I said before, Andrew Hamilton was out of my calculations. I was sure he only cherished you as a brother… Well, he must have been charmed by the current you rather than the emotions imprinted on his soul.”
“……”
“Shall I tell you how those guys changed so easily and came to hate you before I personally entered this body?”
I didn’t nod. My head was so complicated that I didn’t have room to put in any more information. However, Allen, as if he had made up his mind, didn’t overlook my situation and rambled on.
“I just connected the emotions that were building up about you to this body. It’s very simple, right? After all, this body is the vessel that contained the first you, so the wavelengths are very similar, so it’s easy to just slightly change the path. You don’t even need the power of God. Even a Sorcerer like Lennox could have hypnotized them in a similar way. Ah, but the arrogant wolf would have been impossible, right? They’re really foolish and cruel, aren’t they? If it were me, I would have recognized you at any time and fallen in love with you at first sight.”
“…Don’t be ridiculous.”
My teeth were grinding involuntarily. No one in this world knows better than I do what the love of a God, which is so pathetic and undeserved, is like. From beginning to end, it was all a deception.
“Hehe, I was quite worried all this time because you wouldn’t bring yourself to kill this body, no matter how harsh the environment I gave you and how cruelly I tormented you.”
“Did you really… have to go that far?”
My words didn’t come out naturally because of the force in my jaw. Resentful breaths were interspersed between the syllables. This time, it wasn’t just a pretense. It was my choice to be captured by him and become a mess, so it was okay, but I couldn’t just stand by and watch others get caught up in this because of me.
“Yes. I had to go that far. You should have corrupted yourself before you got here.”
Allen smiled slightly. His eyes, filled with radiance, twinkled secretly. Before my soul was worn away, it felt like the whole world was turned upside down by that one smile. It felt like going up and down from hell to heaven with that one smile. But not anymore. The soul of Noah Hamilton, who foolishly loved God, was already rotten. I can no longer purely love anyone. I’m too tired to love…
“I even imitated a ridiculous game and gave you the hint that ‘Noah Hamilton’ should kill ‘Allen Hamilton’, but you didn’t sincerely try to kill me.”
The hint he was talking about was probably the scenario to reach the true ending. In that scenario, ‘Noah’ was a cruel villain without exaggeration. He kidnapped the poor and orphans at random and tried to curse Allen with black magic by killing them, or he poisoned himself with the determination to kill Allen no matter what.
But… Even I, who was following the scenario of the true ending, couldn’t bring myself to do that. So I tried to make it look as plausible as possible.
I would just kidnap people and drag out the time without touching their lives until I was discovered by the outside at the right time, or I would use a mild poison that wouldn’t harm Allen’s life in the food he ate. Of course, Allen’s Love interest would bite me well enough just by doing that, so I thought that was enough. I never thought that the goal was for me to try to kill him. On the one hand, I felt chills. Not even Allen. If I had killed even one of the poor people I had kidnapped without a care in the world because I was tired of the repeated regressions… then the whole game would have been over. With God’s perfect victory.
“I wanted you to try your best. If you tried your best and your efforts failed again… I was hoping that you would hate me sincerely and kill me this time. But fate is stubborn. Even if I stop intervening a little, it quickly returns to normal. So I had to modify the plan a little.”
How about it, won’t you surrender now? He asked kindly, as if he was doing me a great favor. I cut him off, telling him not to talk nonsense.
“Don’t be so cold and listen to me. If only you would give up, I would make all those who have become precious to you happy. You might think that you can find a way to undo Carlisle’s Mark somehow, but as you know, that’s the power of the Ancient God. It can’t be undone without the power of an equal God. So, are you going to abandon Adrian again for Carlisle’s sake? Can you really do that?”
Carlisle’s calm face, who had seen me off without knowing what was coming, and Adrian’s haggard appearance, who seemed like he would follow me to death if he really thought I was dead, flashed through my mind at the same time. …Abandon Adrian for Carlisle? Me, dare I?
“What about the Sorcerer, whom you just used as you pleased, or the knight who will foolishly love you one-sidedly again in this life and die alone on the battlefield? What about your brother, who has already tasted the ecstasy of desiring you? If you win against me, and therefore, gain freedom and only Adrian is happy, will that be a happy ending for everyone?”
It was strangely persuasive. There was no confusion in his confident voice. He was just full of confidence in the opinion he had put forward.
“So choose me.”
The snake’s tongue is still fluent. There is no confusion in his confident voice. He is just full of confidence in the opinion he has put forward.
“I’ll undo Carlisle’s Mark. And I’ll give him and the others beautiful partners who are a perfect match, as if they were made for each other. No one will remember you. So you won’t be in pain. There’s no need to feel guilty. Just you, just you choose me.”
“……”
“If you don’t, everyone will be dragged into a pit of unhappiness. They may writhe in despair that makes them wish they were dead for the rest of their lives. Let me make it clear, Noah. It will all be because of you.”
He kindly held out two paths with clear signs in front of me. Now, I only had two choices.
To plunge everyone but Adrian into inescapable pain for my own freedom, or to sacrifice my well-being and elevate everyone to flawless happiness.
“I…”
I didn’t hesitate long and opened my lips right away. After all, the answer was already decided. Allen’s eyes, containing the truth of the universe, were sparkling with premature anticipation and excitement.