By Zephyria 
Noah Hamilton was a boy with a lot of love. This was true in that he had received an abundance of love from many people, and it was also true in that he knew how to return the love he had received.
Love made people happy. Even compared to a God who had lived an almost infinite life, and even compared to a human life of about a hundred years, it was fine to say that it was the childishness of a young one who had only lived for fifteen or sixteen years. Sixteen years since being born into the world. To Noah Hamilton, love was always a gift from God that made people’s hearts gentle and abundant.
‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
‘….’
‘You’re not hurt by such trivial talk, are you? Don’t be so tiresome, Noah. I’ve told you so many times that the life you’re going to experience in this body is just a stage you have to go through as a formality. There’s no need to give it so much meaning.’
But why? The love that God poured out, and the heart of the creature who came to love God… It felt as if it was driving Noah Hamilton into a shabby corner, into the lowest and most remote place in the world.
It was the first time he had ever felt lonely because he loved someone. Perhaps it was even more so because he had never been thirsty for affection until now.
God came and went as he pleased. Noah couldn’t even guess when he would be able to meet the person he missed even when he was looking at him. When Noah almost begged, asking if he could visit more often, or if he could tell him how to meet him. God’s beautiful face was mostly tinged with a slight annoyance. God said that it was unprecedented for him to care about and look after a soul this much. He also asked how he could care more than this. And then he said it again.
‘Tsk, why are you so foolish…’
God seemed to be genuinely frustrated with Noah. Even when he was not facing God, he repeatedly emphasized that he was in everything in the world that surrounded Noah. So, it was no different from being together without being apart for a moment. Why don’t you know? Why, don’t you know? God had the ability to see wherever he wanted or whoever he wanted, whether he was apart or together, so he could say that, but it wasn’t for Noah. It was terribly lacking. He couldn’t tell anyone about it because he was afraid of diminishing God’s dignity.
‘Your destiny is to be loved to your heart’s content under my permission. You have to complete your life as a human while enjoying your natural lifespan. That’s how you can be reborn as my Young-won.’
‘…Yes.’
‘It’s not difficult, is it? I’ve given you so many Blessings, all you have to do is live. Just by loving me.’
Even to the words that made his chest feel stuffy, Noah did not raise any objections. He just smiled gently and nodded. Because then God would say, ‘That’s right, you’re pretty,’ and stroke Noah’s head.
Knowing full well what kind of confusion a young soul, still far from growing up, was feeling inside, very irresponsibly.
Noah Hamilton developed an obsession. He didn’t know when God would appear, and since God was said to be watching him anytime, anywhere. He compulsively groomed his appearance even when he was sleeping or resting comfortably.
Occasionally, when God didn’t appear before him for a long time, he trembled with anxiety, wondering if he was no longer pretty enough, or if he was trying to abandon him.
He irrationally overworked his already thin body and dried it up. Even in the midst of this, he couldn’t worry those around him, so he ate the same amount and moved the same way. The problem was that after eating, he would pretend to go to the bathroom and immediately throw up what he had eaten.
It was common for him to fuss in front of the mirror several times a day, trying to pluck out even the invisible fluff and body hair that wasn’t particularly thick. He also changed his clothes several times. Even though changing clothes several times a day was a noble’s lifestyle, it was excessive. To the point where there were separate clothes to wear when going out into the hallway or when sitting on the sofa.
Even if he was so anxious, God wouldn’t come. Then Noah Hamilton would secretly bite his lip and desperately rummage through his memories. What was I wearing when you came last time…? What kind of appearance did you say was pretty…? I always have to be pretty, I have to be pretty, Noah… Then he will come… He will look back and praise me as pretty as always…
The lively appearance of the boy who was most dazzling when he burst into laughter without pretense was nowhere to be found. Noah Hamilton around the age of sixteen was an idiot who couldn’t come to his senses because he was so desperate for a single gaze from the absolute being that was thrown at him intermittently.
Noah Hamilton became more and more sensitive. But still, everyone around him loved Noah deeply, and they just thought that he was going through puberty, and they were happy about it. For those who didn’t know the truth, that was the best conclusion.
“…So, His Royal Highness the Crown Prince said in his letter.”
“That’s enough, Nicole. You don’t have to read anymore.”
It had already been more than half a year since he had last met God. Still, he used to come to see him near his birthday every year… Noah lightly stopped Nicole, who was busy reciting the Crown Prince’s letter, and lay down on the window seat. When he closed his eyes, he could hear the sound of rain pouring down. The world was dark. Noah had to realize too thoroughly that love and loneliness were twins who were on good terms. It wasn’t particularly so painful that tears would flow. However, he was just terribly lonely.
Time passed quickly. Noah visited the temple on his seventeenth birthday and received a Blessing from the High Priest, and of course, he manifested as a Dominant Omega. On the day Noah received the Blessing, the people who had heard the rumors gathered in groups of three or five in front of the temple to wait for the results, and after hearing the Priest’s official announcement, they all cheered and praised the Crown Prince and his partner.
In the meantime, God visited Noah a couple of times. It was a short meeting that didn’t take even ten minutes from appearing to disappearing. He was so happy to see him after a long time that he burst into tears, and God gently wiped Noah’s cheeks, saying, ‘What are you going to do if you still have so many tears?’ Noah asked why he had come after so long and almost knelt down, begging him to spare him just one night, but God flatly refused, saying that he was busy. He didn’t tell him the reason why he was busy. When he asked him to tell him the reason, he said that Noah, who was still just a human soul, was not qualified to hear it, and that he would tell him later.
Later, later, later.
God repeatedly promised a distant future that would unfold later, and then nonchalantly left Noah in the present. Without even a promise of when they could meet again.
If that’s the case, you shouldn’t have appeared at all. If the future is so important, you should have waited and appeared later, why did you appear so early… and make me…
Another emotion arose in the heart of Noah Hamilton, who revered God.
Deep love and deep loneliness. And faint but clear, anger.
* * *
About three months after manifesting as a Dominant Omega. Noah had his first heat cycle. As was customary, he went down to the main castle of the territory, where Alphas were strictly forbidden from entering, and decided to endure the unfamiliar pain and heat he was experiencing for the first time with his whole body.
The nanny and Nicole secretly packed medicine to calm him down, but Noah stubbornly endured it. Compared to the soul-wrenching loneliness, he thought that this kind of sensation was not a big deal…
“Ugh… Allen… Allen…”
It was because he was subtly waiting and expecting someone who had always been watching him, someone who had whispered that he loved him, to magically appear.
It was said that nobles receiving the trait of Alpha or Omega was receiving God’s Blessing. So, this crazy heat that was shaking Noah’s whole body right now was definitely a gift from God.
Even with his vision blurred by the heat, Noah couldn’t hide his overwhelming anticipation. He had never given him a deep kiss before, but it was still his heat cycle. Noah Hamilton was now a perfect adult by any standard. He wanted the person he longed for so dearly to willingly take him. He believed that he would definitely come.
Was it to repay such ardent belief? Soon, the window that had been tightly locked was thrown open.
“Noah! Are you okay? You’re stubbornly holding back…! Here, I brought you medicine, so hurry up…!”
It wasn’t exactly the face of the person he had been eagerly waiting for, though.