By Zephyria 
I don’t know why. The sound of the fountain’s water couldn’t be heard properly because it was blocked by the window…. The moment Allen’s figure overlapped with the fountain that was breaking apart in brilliant droplets, my head went blank. I lost the energy and will to react. A deep dizziness. I struggled without even daring to escape.
‘In a few days, the Crown Prince will bestow a fountain in this garden as an engagement gift.’
His advice, which I couldn’t understand, echoed in my head.
‘You will probably, without a doubt, like that fountain very much. Even if your loyal little Nicole tries to stop you, you will try to watch that fountain outside all day long. Waiting for me all day long.’
It was as he said. I liked the fountain that the Crown Prince had installed in this mansion very much. But somehow, I felt uneasy about his advice, so I kept my inner thoughts hidden and didn’t go near the fountain at all. It was because I didn’t want to obediently follow his words.
But why. Why is his figure, standing against the backdrop of the shimmering water, so brilliant? Why is it so… making me helpless?
“Brother, what’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell?”
Allen, who had been pulling my hand strongly as I was awkwardly swimming in the air without being able to grab or reject the outstretched hand, asked kindly. As if waking up from a dream, strength returned to my arms and legs.
“You…, why are you…….”
All I could do now was to try to hide my panting breath and my heart, which was beating wildly with anxiety.
“It can’t be helped. It just so happens that I’m the only one left among the direct descendants of the family to escort you right now. My eldest brother is not feeling well, and my younger brother is already at the Grand Temple as a member of the Imperial Palace royal guard. I know that you are displeased that a mere Recessive Omega is leading you, but… can’t you just bear with it for one day?”
The family representative who was supposed to take me to the Grand Temple, where the engagement ceremony would be held, was originally Andrew, the Little Count. Judging from precedent and status, it would be appropriate for the Count and Countess to put me in the carriage together and lead me directly to the Crown Prince, but the Countess, who had been losing her mind lately, was not in a position to go outside the mansion’s fence at all, and it wouldn’t look good for only my father to take me when the Countess was not dead. There had already been rumors that the Countess had mistreated me, whom she had adopted, hadn’t there?
So, naturally, Andrew taking me today became his role. If the Little Count, who would soon inherit the family, were to escort the future Empress to the Crown Prince, it would be a matter of saving face for the Crown Prince as well.
“I understand your displeasure, but it would be best to get in the carriage for now.”
Allen smiled and skillfully escorted me. Just before getting into the carriage, his palm, a size bigger than mine, subtly gripped my hand tightly and released it.
Thud, the carriage door closed, and I let out a suppressed exclamation. The family’s royal guard, who had been waiting, were lining up in front of the carriage, and the sound of hooves and clashing armor rattled in my ears.
“Andrew, what about Andrew?”
What I was most worried about was that. I sat far away from him and asked in a cold tone. As I tried to regain my composure, the unknown trembling and anxiety subsided a lot.
“Did you think I would do something to him? Are you that worried?”
“Don’t play games. The person who was fine until last night suddenly doesn’t show up because he’s not feeling well, and you’re standing there in his place, so yeah. How can I not be worried?”
“Ha……”
He laughed as if he was dumbfounded, slowly crossed his legs, and leaned deeply against the backrest. The sneer on his face was quite cynical. He no longer resembled me, but that arrogant expression was overly familiar.
“You need to get your facts straight, Noah. You’re the one who did something to that moron Andrew Hamilton, not me.”
“What are you talking about? Explain it clearly.”
“Ah, how cruel. Entrusting the sacred task of leading the engagement to a man who loves you, are you truly intent on crushing the Little Count’s heart to pieces?”
His tone, still laced with mockery, was now quite artificial and exaggerated, like the voice of a stage actor who had just made his debut. But thanks to that… I was able to realize what I had been missing.
He had looked tired since last night. For me, it was an engagement ceremony that would not happen anyway, and it had no great meaning… But to others, it wouldn’t be.
“The Cravat, tightened to the neck, looked like a noose. Waiting for you to finish getting ready, he looked like he was about to faint, so I extended my own pure goodwill this time.”
“Ah……”
“You can thank me. You’re acting grumpy, but I know you secretly care about him quite a bit.”
“……”
“I still can’t understand why that damn family has such a big impact on your emotions… But still.”
If the desire to be loved or recognized had completely disappeared, the thought of returning the pain as much as you had suffered would have become futile in the first place. Isn’t that right?
He nonchalantly poked deep into my lungs as if he were just talking about how nice the weather was today. I unconsciously fumbled over my clothes to check the location where the bead Lennox had given me was fixed. Allen scoffed and added, as if my actions were ridiculous.
“Don’t worry. It’s attached very well. Even though I’m this close, I can’t read a single thought of yours.”
“……”
“Looks like we’re about to depart.”
Kyle’s voice, leading the royal guard at the front, was faintly heard beyond the tightly closed carriage door, and soon the wheels slowly began to roll. It was still early, not even noon, but I was unbelievably exhausted. I didn’t want to talk anymore, so I still kept my distance from Allen, leaned my head against the corner of the seat, and closed my eyes. I wanted to quickly finish the engagement ceremony, return to the mansion, hug Carlisle’s tail in his wolf form, and fall into a deep sleep.
That’s when it happened.
“…Stop! Stop!”
I heard someone shouting loudly from outside, and the carriage stopped abruptly. The cries of the startled horses poured out all at once, but none of the many royal guards pointed out the rudeness.
This was because the person who had urgently stopped the group that had just started was the Little Count, who was practically leading the family.
“Haa, haa…… I’m late. I’m sorry, Noah.”
“……Brother Noah.”
Andrew’s appearance as he opened the carriage door was exactly as Allen had said. The neatly fastened Cravat looked like a prisoner’s noose. Perhaps it was because the face above it was too pale. Or perhaps it was because his eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept a wink all night. As I listened to his rough face and hoarse voice, I almost burst into tears. I somehow swallowed the surge of emotion. …Why am I acting so foolishly? This engagement is nothing. If I’m going to act like this over just an engagement ceremony, what am I going to do at the national wedding ceremony that will take place later? At that time, his role will surely be to hold my hand and hand me over to the Crown Prince.
“I apologize for reversing my decision, Allen. I think it would be better for me to go with you after all. It is an unparalleled honor for the family to produce the future Empress. It is right for me to go for the sake of the dignity of the ceremony.”
Andrew didn’t even dare to properly look at me in my pure white dress, and he fixed his gaze straight on Allen and rattled off words quickly, as if he had memorized them.
“Hmm……”
Allen only stared at such a shabby appearance of the Little Count, who had lived nobly all his life unless it was in front of his younger brother who was not even related by blood, as if he was observing him, haughtily raising his chin.
“Brother Noah’s words are indeed reasonable. Well, then, what would be the best way to do this?”
Then he lowered his gaze and looked at me over Andrew’s shoulder. He meant for me to decide.
To hold the hand of Andrew Hamilton, who loves me so humbly, and enter the engagement hall, tearing his heart to shreds… Or to show at least a minimum of mercy and reduce the unnecessary scratches on him…
Seeing his relaxed appearance, as if it didn’t matter what I chose, he seemed to have no doubt that I would choose the latter.
That’s right. I really hated to admit it, but I had some kind of attachment to the human being called Andrew Hamilton. It was also true that I felt sorry for him. Regardless of the goal of the game, the fact that he loved me gave me a base satisfaction. Even if I couldn’t love him with the same heart, at least… I wanted to hurt him as little as possible. I wanted to be less sorry. Unless the sharp memories of the past Iteration that occasionally popped out drew violent desires, that was definitely the case.
“Then today……”
As I parted my lips slightly, Andrew’s shoulders flinched. The veins on the back of his hand were all standing up, showing how much strength he had put into his clenched fist. Allen was still leisurely watching Andrew’s clenched fist and my trembling eyes.
“I think it would be better to go with Brother Andrew.”
“……?”
“Noah…!”
Allen’s eyes narrowed as if he was displeased, and Andrew’s voice was mixed with emotion. I met the gazes of the two people who were focused on me in an instant and smiled innocently.
Perhaps I was a more wicked person than he expected. Even if it meant hurting him, seeing that I wanted to hold onto Andrew Hamilton so tightly like this.