By Zephyria 
The phrase on the System window asking if I would like to believe them floated in front of my eyes for a moment, as if testing me, without disappearing or being replaced by another phrase. It’s pathetic, but I read the phrase over and over again before realizing the inner desire that I hadn’t even realized myself.
I wanted to believe it. Honestly.
I was ashamed that I still had the desire to be loved with all my heart even after being betrayed so much, but if I put aside all sorts of excuses and took out my very honest heart, that was the case.
But vain hope and cold reality are always complementary, so they can’t be realized on the same line.
I think of my faithful brother, who seemed willing to sacrifice anything in the world for me.
I think of my past lover, who looked at me happily as if dreaming of eternity with me.
Even Frederick Hamilton and Kyle Gray, whom I thought sincerely loved me, left so easily, but I felt terribly sorry for my weak self, who had pulled out all the thorns I had and started whining that I wanted to be loved again with just this one time. No, am I disgusting?
Sincerely wishing you infinite happiness, System respects your choice.
Even if it leads to a foolish ending.
With the kind consolation of the deceiver who loved me more than anyone else and enjoyed plunging me into despair more than anyone else, I lose the will to choose the right option forever.
It’s okay if I don’t have courage. I don’t care if I’m pointed at as a coward.
“No, I won’t believe it.”
…….
“I don’t believe anyone. That goes for you too.”
I didn’t want to get hurt. Not even the smallest scratch, really, not anymore.
“Huh? Young master. Where’s Sir Kyle?”
Nicole, who was coming out to the garden with a pile of books that I had asked her to bring, asked, looking around with a puzzled expression. As my escort knight, he should be near me outside, even if he wasn’t inside, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“I don’t know. How would I know?”
I shrugged nonchalantly and received the books that Nicole had brought. Where did I read up to yesterday……? As I muttered leisurely and flipped through the pages, Nicole looked around and openly began to complain.
“Is this really the time! To be reading books like this? Huh? Young master!”
“Ugh, it’s noisy. Why are you so loud?”
“Ugh! Young master!”
“I can hear you just fine even if you don’t shout so loudly?”
Nicole seemed to be very angry and frustrated, stomping her feet and hitting her chest several times.
“Young master. Are you planning to convert to a priest behind my back? Huh? Are you acting so frustratingly out of character as a kind of personality or faith training!”
“What did I do so frustratingly again?”
“Just now, for example, huh?”
Her voice, grinding her teeth, suddenly lowered in volume and continued to mumble fiercely, saying that Sir Kyle was the same, and if he liked Allen so much, he should just transfer his allegiance.
Officially, the knight Kyle Gray had returned to the capital mansion as my escort knight, concerned about the safety of me, a Dominant Omega. But since Allen found his identity, he often neglected his duties and stuck to him. It was fortunate that he came back to my side when I went out of the mansion.
Nicole, who had been frustrated and complaining that she was going to explode every time I neatly organized and handed over the room I had been using, the clothes I had prepared in advance, and the birthday gifts I had received from my father and mother to Allen before he even asked for them, was now jumping up and down, saying that I was even going to hand over my escort knight.
“Seriously, it’s not like he doesn’t have any escort knights! I heard the Countess gave him two! If you add Sir Kyle, that’s three, three!”
“It’s good if Sir Kyle goes to him. Don’t you hate Sir Kyle anyway? I didn’t feel comfortable seeing his face either.”
“Ah, that’s different!”
“What’s different?”
“I don’t know! It’s different! Anyway, it’s different!”
I chuckled and offered Nicole some lukewarm tea that I had prepared in advance, who was busy bursting with frustration. Nicole stared at the teacup as if she resented it, drank it all in one gulp, and then calmed down her grumbling. Then, she sat down and picked up a book, following me.
Pretending to be deeply immersed in reading, I slowly turned the pages while calmly organizing my thoughts. It was a pity that I hadn’t given Kyle enough time to get close to me because I had revealed Allen’s identity a little earlier than I had originally planned.
So, it was actually beneficial if the relationship between the two progressed smoothly without my intervention. Is it because I can’t ignore the power of the original work? The deeper the relationship between Kyle and Allen became, the better. After all, Kyle Gray was a piece of trash who enjoyed turning his eyes to others even though he had a lover he had promised the future to.
However, what made me uneasy was that even though I hadn’t handed over the Crown Prince to Allen and had safely secured him…… everything was going too smoothly.
Yes. It was smooth. Too smooth.
“Sir Kyle, Sir Kyle! Are you here?”
I was staring blankly at the letters that I couldn’t even read properly, calculating in my head. I heard Frederick’s voice calling for Kyle.
“Ah, Frederick.”
“Noah……”
“……”
“……”
When did we become so awkward? If I remember correctly, it was long before Allen was incorporated as the youngest son of Hamilton. Wasn’t Frederick the one who strangely regarded Allen, who was my exclusive servant, as friendly and even made secrets with him? Frederick, who had been getting closer to Allen and subtly distancing himself from me, rarely even met me alone after it was revealed that Allen was actually his brother.
“It’s been a while, but it’s not really…. Is it?”
He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and said to me. Nicole, who was reading a book, ignored Frederick even though she knew he was there. She still had her nose in the book and didn’t even raise her head. I subtly shielded Nicole with my body and answered, “I guess so.” We go to dinner and banquets where all the family members attend, so it’s not really been a while as he said.
“I’m going to be busy for a while. Because of the New Year’s Ball. Uh, so I think I’ll have to entrust the security of the mansion to Sir Kyle for a while, and there’s something I need to discuss with him regarding that……”
His flustered voice is funny. I smiled brightly as if nothing was wrong.
“Yes, I understand. But you don’t have to tell me that. It’s none of my business anyway.”
“No, Noah?”
“Ah, don’t misunderstand. I meant it’s okay to take Sir Kyle. I don’t go out of the mansion much anyway…, and Sir Kyle isn’t by my side much in the first place.”
As if drawing a firm line, or as if criticizing. My voice and tone were stiff, but my face was still smiling.
Frederick was in charge of the overall security of the mansion. Frederick wasn’t so incompetent that he didn’t know that my escort knight wasn’t protecting the person he was supposed to protect and was distracted by other things. Moreover, wasn’t he the one who had recruited Kyle as my escort knight? Unlike Andrew, he was the type who was honest and straightforward. He attached a strong knight to his beloved younger brother. He brought Kyle and attached him to me only with that thought. And that thought would still be the same now. Kyle Gray was the strongest knight our family had, but only his beloved younger brother had changed from me to Allen.
That means there was no other reason why Frederick Hamilton, as a superior, had tolerated Kyle Gray’s negligence and dereliction of duty.
My dry eyes were particularly tired. Every time I closed and opened them, they were very sore. The heavy eyelids closed as they were, and the desire to fall asleep peacefully and never wake up again was rampant like a habit, but I managed to lift my stiff eyelids. The shadow of Frederick Hamilton that formed between my forcibly lifted eyes was very familiar and, on the other hand, very unfamiliar. The difference that was difficult to grasp made my head ache. Fortunately, pretending to be okay while swallowing the pain was easier for me than breathing now.
“Go, Frederick. Sir Kyle will be by Allen’s side.”
“Noah……”
“Why? Do you have anything else to say?”
I wanted him to make some kind of excuse, but Frederick, still awkward, only moved his lips and disappeared from my sight with a refreshing thank you.
I knew it. It was a wise choice not to believe him. I just won’t be ashamed of my wavering heart. I can’t deny my childish desire to still be loved. In the first place, if you don’t love, if you don’t expect, you won’t get hurt.
After that, time passed without much incident.
Andrew still begged me for love, and the Crown Prince still cherished and loved me as if I were a pretty bird in a cage.
The blowing wind gradually grew colder. On the day it first snowed, I unusually got excited and played with Nicole in the garden all day, touching the snow.
And the new year dawned.
The Imperial Palace held a New Year’s Ball to commemorate the beginning of the new year, and the news that the Archduke of the Grand Duchy of Graham was coming to the capital had people buzzing for weeks.
“The ruler of the vast Mountain Range pays homage to the owner of infinite glory.”
Finally, Carlisle Graham, having completed his growth, revealed his appearance.