By Zephyria 
I blinked my eyes, which felt dry, several times before raising my body. Old Dragon, sensing that movement, turned to me. Old Dragon, who had briefly met my gaze, gently lowered his eyes.
“How did it go?”
“……”
At that, I couldn’t readily answer and only let out a small sigh. It was because after seeing a part of the memories from about 1500 years ago, I had regained the memories I had forgotten in the meantime while going back up.
Why had I kept forgetting?
The fact that I had forgotten all the memories of being Mephisto due to the side effects of the Soul Transference I had used immediately after dying at Gilbert’s hands and had been reborn as a human.
I had lived as an ordinary human with the name ‘Raymond’ like that, but because of a fever that had come, I had regained the memories of my previous life, but I hadn’t known that I was a reincarnation because the intermediate memories had been completely lost.
I quietly looked down at my hand, which felt new.
The first thing that came to mind were my family.
Soon, the calmly subsided emotions surged again. As the surging emotions crossed the dam of my heart and undulated, the tip of my nose turned cold. I, who had regained the precious emotions I had learned as a complete human along with the forgotten memories, knew what these emotions were.
‘Ah, I was completely me.’
It was a sense of relief that made me feel that.
‘I was worthy of being loved.’
It was a joy that made me feel that.
I slowly covered my face.
Overflowing emotions fell in droplets from the corners of my eyes.
I had felt endless love for the family I had first gained after losing all my memories and being born. Because I had lost those memories, I had thought of them as humans I had to use, as beings unrelated to me, but before I knew it, I had once again ended up loving them.
At that moment, I heard the sound of someone running busily, and then I heard Newit’s voice, who was startled and shouted loudly.
“You’re awake… wh-what?! Why are you crying?!”
It wasn’t like he was trying to spread the news all over the neighborhood, but I wished he would be a little quieter. It was when I was frowning because my pride was somehow being hurt. Old Dragon intervened, soothing Newit appropriately.
“Is that soup? You’ll spill it. Put it down on a flat surface first.”
“Ah! That’s right.”
Only then did Newit realize that he had been carrying a hot bowl of soup with both hands, and he moved stealthily again. As I watched that scene, Old Dragon chuckled and whispered.
“Have you calmed down a bit?”
“……”
“He brought that for you, so eat it later.”
I nodded, feeling somehow awkward.
Afterward, I soothed my empty stomach with soup and then consumed an appropriate amount of meat and fruit. I had been asleep for a week, but my physical condition wasn’t particularly bad, so I could live normally.
Old Dragon said that it was because there was no big difference on the outside, but dignity had permeated me, so I was no longer an ordinary human body.
“…I see. That was the memory of the Proxy of God with the name Sealed Soul, and as you guessed, it was the memory of your previous life. It seems that fragments of memory had permeated the Divine Object.”
And that was the answer that Old Dragon gave after hearing all the things that I had experienced. I chewed on the surface of the apple with a crunch and fell into thought. The name Sealed Soul wasn’t the first time I had heard it.
‘The Proxy of God, Sealed Soul.’
That phrase had certainly come out in the recording related to the Primordial Mythology as well.
‘If I organize it….’
The Primordial Mythology is a story that actually existed a long time ago, and the human hero mentioned in the Primordial Mythology is the Proxy of God with the name Sealed Soul, and also one of my previous lives.
The statement that the Sealed Soul, ‘created by God’ to seal Chaos, was a human hero must have been distorted. That’s plausible enough, so this isn’t strange.
The only strange thing is one thing.
“What on earth is Gilbert?”
It was his existence.
There was no mention in the Primordial Mythology that there were two people who used Black Mana. In other words, if I went back up past Raymond and Mephisto to the person in the Primordial Mythology, it meant that I was the only one who used Black Mana.
Except for Gilbert.
Where on earth did that guy suddenly pop out from?
‘…Come to think of it, there was a guy who looked like Herman.’
Who was he? Is he related to Herman?
I feel an emotion similar to longing for him, but I can’t know why because my memories as the Sealed Soul aren’t complete. I felt a stuffy feeling in many ways and let out a groan, and Old Dragon, who had been silently glancing at me, opened his mouth a beat late.
“What do you intend to do now?”
I snapped out of my thoughts at that question and turned to see that Old Dragon was pulling a blanket that was much smaller than the size of his claws and covering Newit, who had fallen asleep next to him.
“Well… I don’t know. The risk of me dying because of my power is gone now, but I’ve also lost Boncho’s purpose in performing Soul Transference even while taking the risk.”
After saying that, I smiled, feeling a little empty.
Anger towards humans still lingered within me, but it had become something from 500 years ago, and it seemed the Demons were doing well now.
And I couldn’t hate humans anymore.
The person I wanted to avenge was already dead.
If you asked me what I was going to do now, I couldn’t answer immediately.
That’s what it should be, but Old Dragon threw out a meaningful opening.
“Are you sure you’ve really lost your purpose?”
At that moment, I had a bad feeling and wiped away the smile that had been on my lips, turning to look at Old Dragon. Old Dragon, who met my gaze without avoiding it, opened his mouth again.
“I’ll tell you one truth I know.”
“…….”
“The Gilbert you know is the Avatar of Chaos.”
Avatar of Chaos?
“…Chaos, are you talking about that evil god from the Genesis Era myth?”
“Yes. It’s a story I heard from my father.”
This is quite an interesting story. But it didn’t resonate with me. The fact that my memories as a Sealed Soul weren’t complete meant that I didn’t know much about Chaos either.
“And, I heard that the Black Mana you have is originally the power that Chaos had. In other words, the Mana that exists in this world is originally the power that Chaos had, not you.”
“Hmm.”
“The Sealed Soul died for some unknown reason and disappeared from this world… The Chaos, who was released from the seal again, lived in seclusion in Niflheim before appearing in the world again 500 years ago. Hiding his identity in a human body he created himself.”
That meant it was Gilbert.
Maybe he wanted to completely eliminate my existence. Just like I felt repulsed by him, who had the same power as me.
Well, that’s just speculation.
Anyway… if that’s the case, I can understand why Gilbert could use Black Mana. But that didn’t answer Old Dragon’s meaningful question of whether I had really lost my purpose.
As if responding to my question, Old Dragon continued to speak.
“Gilbert seemed to have a purpose. I don’t know what it is, but for that purpose, even after you lived and died as Mephisto, he has been ‘alive’ all along. Abandoning his aging body and passing it on through generations, continuing on.”
“…….”
It was from that moment that I felt a strange unease.
“…Soul Transference….”
“…Yes. Soul Transference is a Formula you created independently, but he was able to create a similar Formula himself. Do you think he couldn’t do what you could do? Even when he was Gilbert, he overwhelmed you with Magic.”
Why did Ardian come to mind at that moment?
“In the process of transferring souls, he became stronger than when he was Gilbert. As if trying to regain the power he had as Chaos, he accumulated power over hundreds of years.”
Where did it all go wrong?
“The ‘current him’ is thoroughly hiding his claws, but he’s already at a level where no one can stand against him.”
I squeezed my eyes shut.
It’s cursed. I shouldn’t have listened, I regretted it for a moment. I wanted to think calmly, but I couldn’t help but gasp for breath. My thoughts kept flowing in a direction I didn’t want to believe, and my heart beat loudly.
“…What are you trying to say?”
I was surprised myself when my voice, which had become low as if scraping the floor, sounded like a beast. And I realized. I wasn’t angry because I desperately hoped it wasn’t true, but I was writhing in disappointment and betrayal.
Old Dragon said to me….
“Be careful of ‘Ardian’.”
He gave me perfect despair.
“He has killed everyone who he thought was in his way until now. He even annihilated the Long-lived Race because they lived long. Because his identity must not be revealed.”
“…….”
“As I said before, I don’t know what his true purpose is. I don’t know why he’s approaching you. But I’m worried because it seems like he’s going to do something again soon.”
“…….”
“…Of course, if he was planning to completely betray you, he wouldn’t have come to me and asked me to help you, so even if he’s someone you don’t like, I don’t intend to antagonize him unconditionally. I’m just telling you not to make a mistake in case of an unforeseen situation.”
I was suffocating. The strangeness, the questions I had occasionally felt from Ardian, were even more shocking because they connected everything.
-Ray.
He had been calling my name like that, smiling like that, while completely deceiving me until now. Whatever his purpose, the fact that he deceived me was true, wasn’t it? He said he couldn’t tell me what he was hiding, but I never thought he was hiding something like this.
I feel miserable. It was hateful. If he only had the anger from 500 years ago towards me, it wouldn’t have been this hateful.
I clenched my teeth.
‘…You bastard.’
Why did I have to find out at a time like this?
The true nature of the feelings I had for him.