23 – After That Moment (Side Story 2)

It’s a sad thing to say, but I was no different from Go Yohan. Unlike Go Yohan, who was able to take a leave of absence, I had essentially wasted an entire semester, so I couldn’t afford to miss the grades in any of my classes if I wanted to recover the grades from that ruined semester.

So meeting Kang Suhyun was hell.

I should have known when I saw the results of the mid-presentation. This kid is worse than a freeloader. Especially in the second assignment, Kang Suhyun’s theory of first experiences was honestly disgusting to listen to.

“The first day is definitely best spent at a luxury hotel overlooking the city night view.” On a romantic day, at least for dinner, we will elegantly slice meat and drink wine at the hotel restaurant. It seems good that we have known each other for 2 years. Two years is just romantic.”Why exactly two years?” Unconsciously, I wrote the word ‘2 years’ on an A4 sheet of paper with the assignment and then poked it with a pen. Kang Suhyun, who noticed that I was feeling confused, spoke confidently.

“One year is too short to get to know each other, and three years is too long.””What does it matter? There are people who get married just a week after meeting.””That’s a special case.” If it weren’t unusual, would there be talk of such a person?”That makes sense.” I closed my mouth after being sufficiently convinced.

“After finishing the meal, we exchange shy glances.” Both know something and are expecting it. Ha, I’m going crazy. At this time, the man should lead first. Do you want to go up? Aaaah! This is it.”Are you kidding? This isn’t a drama.””The moment the woman consents, she takes the transparent elevator with stiff movements and goes up to the guest room.” And in that elevator, feeling the quiet stillness between each other…Kang Suhyun closed her eyes as if she were the person involved and rubbed her body with both hands. It was a sight so disgusting that it could make one feel nauseous and vomit.

“After crossing the hallway while kissing, I opened the door and found scented candles lit.” The woman will be moved.Now I brush my cheek with my fingers. The smoke that deliberately flaunted its sparkling, glimmering eyes was truly ugly. I can’t stand it. She rolled her eyes and threw the pen onto the desk. However, Kang Suhyun’s acting did not stop despite my blatant criticism.

“Oh my, darling!” When did you prepare this? Then the man says that. I hurried up and got ready when you went to the bathroom. It was so difficult. I thought I was going to die.”Wait a moment.” How can you go all the way up to the hotel and set up scented candles in just a few minutes?”Shh, literary license.””

“…….”The professor is a very progressive person.” I don’t want a rigid report made up of statistics. You must be looking for a very romantic and fun plan. But if it’s romantic, isn’t it a country?”Are you in the science track?””Is there a rule that says science majors can’t be romantic?” Huh? 경찰 불러 봤Huh? 고소해 봤Huh?”Kang Suhyun is romantic.” Why on earth, how, on what basis? I don’t think so at all. The fact that romance emerged from the assignment called was truly a mindset that was harder to understand than Go Yohan. As I pressed the tip of the pen firmly against the center of my lips with a grim face, Kang Suhyun, noticing my gaze, began to shake her hips as if having a fit.

“My mom told me that if I get married, I would go crazy over my wife and abandon my mother!””Ah, right.””Ah, I think I understand why An Jisu dropped the class before even attending.” You must have thought there was no answer when you saw Kang Suhyun. When I saw Kang Suhyun’s mid-term presentation, I should have just asked to add a flying effect. The course , which I took simply because it fit my schedule, started with a forced feeling and I had a bad feeling that it would end in failure.

“It’s good that you chose a topic diligently…””I felt overwhelmed and sighed while pressing my fingers firmly near my eyebrows.” The first semester was a failure, but the second semester cannot be a failure. First, after picking up the pen again, I pointed to the words ‘First Night’ written by Kang Suhyun on the back of the paper.

“Let’s think realistically.” It’s hard to believe that a couple who has been dating for two years while considering marriage has never been intimate.”Why doesn’t it make sense?””Usually, even if there are no thoughts of marriage, it typically ends within 24 hours at the earliest, and at the latest within a hundred days.””This is the statistics calculated based on the people around me.” I think it’s almost certain. Kang Suhyun was so shocked by my words that it felt strange.

“Really, is it true?””Yes.””Is that what everyone says when they’re in a relationship?” Just one day?”Oh, that’s right.””I stiffened my face before I even finished speaking.” This is because Kang Suhyun’s cheeks have noticeably turned red. The face, which looked quite tough, had cheeks that rose like ripe apples, making it extremely uncomfortable. It is certainly not a pleasant sight. The guy who covered his mouth with both hands and looked at me with a sly gaze subtly started to speak more.

“What? How do you know that?””

“…….”

“연애해 봤Huh?”Well, that’s because the things those kids with the peppers hanging from their backs are saying in the back of the classroom are all the same.” Rather, I had doubts about the fact that Kang Suhyun really didn’t know. A man should know this. Not responding to an incomprehensible reaction and frowning even more, Kang Suhyun misinterpreted my silence.

“You, you bastard.” You’ve had a lot of experience in dating!”Suddenly, the sight of two fists covering the face, trembling, is really annoying.”

“No.””When I was in high school, I was just hanging out with girls… not doing the studying I was supposed to do…!””No.”Kang Suhyun would just listen to what she wanted to hear, raising her eyebrows and making strange laughing sounds. I was so infatuated that it was obvious even from the way my nostrils flared. In the end, I even put my feet on the chair and hugged my knees, and it was really painful to see that. Kang Suhyun, who was shaking her body in that state, cautiously brought her face closer while not erasing her grotesque smile.

“Then give me the expert’s opinion.””…What?””Well, as an expert, you see.” What should I prepare for the first night?The anticipation directed towards me sparkles. That’s quite burdensome. Without hiding his openly hateful expression, he pushed Kang Suhyun’s face with his palm. Even though my face was all scrunched up, it pushed forward like a bulldozer, and the greasiness of the face I touched almost made me run to the bathroom.

“Please don’t stick your face in.” Please.”Hmm?” Let me know. Huh?”Ugh…””I involuntarily gagged at the disgusting cuteness.” If I didn’t throw something, it seemed like it would keep pushing its face forward. I ate mustard while crying. I pushed my back as far as possible, distancing myself from Kang Suhyun, and came up with the most plausible answer. First, he let out a sigh as if to say it was pathetic.

“…First, I need to prepare the condoms.”At least that’s how it was around me. Of course, it wasn’t out of awareness for a healthy sex life, but rather because of a superstitious bravado that carrying condoms in my wallet would bring good luck. Luck is an excuse, and those kids wanted to show off their confidence that they are ‘men who can use condoms anytime.’ Worthless bastards. My expression naturally frowned. However, Kang Suhyun’s reaction was even more horrifying.

“Oh my, nose, cone…!”A hand as big as a pot lid suddenly hit my back hard. Suddenly startled by the palm that rushed in, I opened my eyes wide and looked, and Kang Suhyun, who had been stamping his feet on the chair, blushed and scolded softly.

“What will you do if you say such things where everyone can hear?” This is called a classroom. This shameless person… scoundrel!”Ah, ow.””My body swayed unsteadily due to the fists that were pounding on my shoulders.” I couldn’t even think of avoiding it, and I was so dumbfounded that I just let out a sigh. Kang Suhyun, who had hit me several times like that, cautiously looked around and continued speaking with a worried expression.

“Wow, you just seemed really perverted.””What on earth is a condom, ugh!””Suddenly, as if to scold me, I bit my tongue when someone pushed my shoulder with their fist.” A faint taste of blood lingered, and a tingling sensation around my eyes arose. I writhed in pain from my aching tongue, cursing hundreds of times in my mind. If I still associate with Kang Suhyun after this class, I am not human. Kang Suhyun, still with a red face, said.

“Hey, then let’s do it this way.””What?””Since you are experienced, you must be well aware of the realistic errors you encounter while executing the plan.””I’m not an experienced person…””I was about to answer with excitement but suddenly stopped my mouth.” Why should I embarrass myself by saying that I have no experience with a guy like this? It is embarrassing to say that I am ignorant about castles. As I frowned and pressed my eyebrows together in overwhelming embarrassment, Kang Suhyun seized the opportunity to start talking.

“So let’s correct it while you execute the plan I set up fairly.””What are you talking about?”Ari slightly stuck out her tongue and took a breath. Then I glared at Kang Suhyun, who was saying something pathetic.

“Why would I do something like that? Are you crazy?””But I don’t have a partner.””Do I exist?””Don’t pretend that you don’t have it.” This popular person. You and I are different. How strict the surveillance was at the school I attended. I heard that even just making eye contact with a girl would result in penalty points.I scratched my side hair with a pen. It is a fact that I have come to know now, but Kang Suhyun is from quite a famous high school. It was a private high school that was well-known just by its name. It is truly amazing.

“I am a man.””What’s wrong with an all-boys school?” Look at the soldiers, don’t they know that even when they go to the military, they still go on blind dates and date during their leave?”But why couldn’t you do it?” During the vacation, I will be dating a lot. It’s your high school engineering.”This petty bastard.””A gaze full of resentment shoots at me from words thrown out without any thought.”

“진실을 굳이 그렇게…… Huh? Should I reveal it!Kang Suhyun’s voice trembled violently. The openly crying voice, soaked and trembling, evoked a strange sense of guilt. I casually turned my head and cleared my throat.

“And I heard you have a lot of money.” Is all the land around Cheongsong your family’s land? He said he is a local resident who came to study in Seoul. Then, you can easily book an expensive hotel.”Oh, it’s not our apple farm.””So what was it that you sold apples back then?” What is honey apple?”That is…”How can I explain what Go Yohan has done?” However, because of that incident, I had become the sole heir of the Cheongsong region’s prominent family.

“You know that you’re ignoring all the messages Park So-yeon is sending you right now, right?” Be careful.This time, he/she did not answer again. There is no need to explain further; it is indeed intentional neglect. I didn’t have the broad-mindedness to engage in a conversation with someone who had no interest in me and wouldn’t be of any help. Especially if the other party is coveting my ‘thing’.

“Do you know how much I cursed So-yeon?” I’m getting a lot of complaints for disappearing without a word after the meeting. I really don’t know your friend’s number, no matter how many times I say it, you just won’t believe me. How many meals I had to buy in return. I’m broke right now because I’ve spent all my allowance. They say they also pack lunch.”Ah.””Ah?” Ah?Kang Suhyun looked at me as if she were seeing a traitor. Actually, it seems that I have been losing weight these days. Every time I met Kang Suhyun during lectures, it seemed that the words about having to dip rice in soy sauce and that salt is a side dish were said sincerely, as they looked in a pitiful state.

“I heard you ignored Ga-hee’s contact.””

“Ga-hee? Ah, that person…”Oh, that person?””Aren’t you really a bad bastard?” 금방 연애할 것처럼 굴어 놓고, 연락을 씹Huh?”But what does that have to do with me?” I had no interest at all in whether Kang Suhyun was dying or whether Park So-yeon was angry about being ignored.

“Did I do that with him/her?””I only showed kindness for the sake of superficial connections.” He/She furrowed one eyebrow. I pressed and spread it out with my finger on the road. Damn it, lately I’ve been imitating Go Yohan’s habits often.

“The enemy of man.”Kang Suhyun spoke in a voice filled with indignation, laying down futile speculations without leaving any room for interruption.

“It’s clear.” You can clearly see that even if you don’t have a girlfriend, there are definitely some people who are less than a girlfriend around you. Playboy child. We’re just about to start dating, but we’re not officially dating yet, you know? For our assignment, you know?”I don’t know.””

“Huh? Don’t you know? Why is my finger looking for Ga-hee’s number? Huh? Is it moving just as it pleases?”It’s really displeasing to see someone tapping the dead screen with both thumbs while shrugging their shoulders.” I looked at Kang Suhyun with my narrow eyes and quickly got up while packing my bag.

“Since there really isn’t any, think of another plan.” I am going.”

“Huh? Where are you going?”What are you going to do about it?”Kang Suhyun pouts at my words. That’s strangely annoying, so I lightly pushed the shoulder in front of me with my clenched fist. It wasn’t even that hard of a push, yet they staggered with a shocked expression and let out a scream. He didn’t forget to click his tongue while looking down at the guy hanging from the chair.

“Well, please do not contact me personally.””At my warning, Kang Suhyun made a bewildered expression, then suddenly jumped up and touched the tips of her two index fingers together.” It was quite imposing. However, I couldn’t understand what the two fingers connected in front of my eyes were doing, so I just scanned the room with a pathetic look and left the classroom.

Walking down the empty hallway, my mind gradually settled. The lingering feeling of the conversation I had with Kang Suhyun clung to my back and wouldn’t let go. The words that crawled up my back and entered into my self through my ears echoed again like a whisper in the quiet hallway.

“Even if you clearly don’t have a girlfriend, there must definitely be some people who are less than a girlfriend around you.” We’re just about to start dating, but we’re not officially dating yet, you know?That’s complete nonsense.

“Where would I have something like that…”The vibration rang from the outer pocket. I hurriedly interrupted my thoughts and took my phone out of my pocket. A strange number appeared under Go Yohan’s name.

A few days ago, it was the number of Go Yohan, who stubbornly changed his number even after causing an accident. The image of them feeling wronged, saying they were really just kids who didn’t know anything, is still vivid in my mind.

“Are those bastards who don’t even know who you are your friends?” I’m not. They just come to me and act like they know me and pretend to be close. I have no idea where those guys heard my story, but I really don’t know their names or remember their faces.It was absurd to see someone making a sound that others would envy while feeling resentful about it.

Professor’s sense of time is out. I’m out somewhere having coffee.What we brought together looked like a coffee and cake voucher that had just been purchased through the app.

“I sent you two cakes to make you gain weight, so don’t give them to anyone and eat them all yourself.”

And the following messages left me speechless.

“Capture Sharing X”

“Kang Suhyun X”

Unfortunately, I am inherently a picky eater. To be precise, I dislike the feeling of being full. I dislike the feeling of energy concentrating upwards in my body, making my head feel dull. So I always ate just enough to feel satisfied. That was exactly a piece of cake.

The one who looked down on it with dissatisfaction was Go Yohan, who appeared after the major lecture. The gaze and eyes, which already looked gloomy and fierce, settled coldly on my face. It seems that there are many complaints.

“I told you to eat it all.””I put in effort for even a single piece.” I’m going to eat, but what if I eat two pieces?”Eat the pineapple.” Eating pineapple makes me hungry.”Where did you hear that from?””What is it with just holding an old pen that I don’t even know where I picked it up from and two sheets of scrap paper?” I looked at the things I was holding with annoyance for no reason.

“Is that all your luggage?””Yes.””

“그럼 도대체 뭐로 수업 들었Huh?”Go Yohan waved the blank paper in the air at my words.” The pen that was shaking together had this written on it. “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” I couldn’t help but tightly close my eyes at the horrifying appearance.

“왜 갑자기 못 볼 걸 봤다는 것처럼 굴Huh?”

“강의 책 없Huh?”Flap flap.” Instead of closed eyes in darkness, the heightened ears caught the sound of paper fluttering. Go Yohan shamelessly waved the scrap paper again.

“This is enough.””You… really.” 아니, 그리고 그런 이상한 펜은 또 어디서 구했Huh?”I don’t know.” It was rolling around on the classroom floor.”Why would you pick up something like that?””Why are you picking it up?” Of course I intended to use it.”Once a Marine, always a Marine.” The symbol of strong will held in the hands of the fake American Go Yohan, who has no need to go to the military, looked shabby. These days, marines are rolling on the ground and sharing with people they don’t even know.

While trembling slightly and gently lifting his eyelids, Go Yohan pulled a chair and sat next to me. At the same time, Go Yohan’s scent lightly spread around. I unconsciously took a deep breath. Just as my head was getting soaked with the subtle fragrance, I suppressed the giddy feeling and opened my mouth.

“…You must have needed something to write with.”

“Nope? I only brought my phone and card.”

“Not even your wallet?”

“Not even my wallet.”

“Why didn’t you bring anything?”

“Why do you think?”

Go Yohan took the fork that was hanging between my fingers. Then, he poked the small piece of sponge cake that was left, put it in his mouth, and said with a smile.

“It’s a trick to find excuses to talk to you and borrow things.”

His mouth, which only spouts nonsense, stretched wide and he laughed coolly. I lightly clenched and unclenched my hand hidden under the table. Go Yohan, who threw the fork on the plate, lightly spread his fingers and quietly looked at his slightly bent three right fingers.

“Borrow a pen, borrow a fork, and then borrow a body, and every night, we hold hands…”

The hand, shaped like holding a transparent cylinder, shook up and down.

“And so on.”

Hey…! Astonishment welled up inside me. Unlike my surprised inner self, my outer self maintained a fairly expressionless face and pressed down on his suspicious hand gesture with my palm. Ignoring the gesture of subtly brushing my palm with his fingers as our skin touched, I stared at him quietly.

Go Yohan leaned his arm on the table and said in a mocking voice.

“No, honestly, I was the one who lent you my hand back then. You just spread them open. I feel a little wronged.”

“Hey, shut your mouth…”

Is this bastard really crazy? I clenched my teeth and warned him in a low voice.

“I will shut it. But I have to say this one thing because I feel wronged.”

He said he would shut it. Go Yohan put his mouth close to my ear. It was a really sudden action. This time, I was so surprised that I couldn’t help but show it on my face. I tried to turn my head to the other side to avoid the approaching heat, but his hand grabbing my chin was faster.

“Let go.”

“No.”

His slightly lowered eyes were full of mischief. I licked my dry lips, feeling nervous at Go Yohan’s actions. His gaze lingered on my lips, and he whispered softly.

“But, you know.”

The lukewarm breath tickled the thin skin of my ear, and his low voice vibrated slowly, touching my eardrum.

“If you let me put it in, I’ll cut the interest in half.”

I flinched reflexively. You son of a bitch. Flustered, I pushed Go Yohan’s shoulders hard with both hands, but his large frame only moved back a little. Moreover, he was still just grinning with no sign of remorse.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut your mouth…”

I paused for a moment and quickly looked around. Fortunately, it was noisy because a large lecture had just ended. Such small whispers were bound to be buried in the crowd. Ah, really… The pale tension melted away in an instant. I let out a sigh of relief and looked at Go Yohan again.

“You crazy bastard. Who the hell goes around saying things like that outside?”

“So, it’s okay to do it inside?”

His slender eyes blatantly looked at my lower body with a subtle gaze. Damn it, a curse came out involuntarily. Go Yohan didn’t stop there and raised his chin, staring intently at my chest, especially one area. Damn it. If I blush here, I’ll really be an idiot. I hurriedly pushed Go Yohan’s cheek.

“Then you’re going to die.”

Go Yohan had been acting so blatantly like this ever since the day we did something more than kissing for the first time.

If I was drinking water in the kitchen in a daze in the morning, he would nonchalantly grab my butt hard with one hand and leave, and if I was surprised and coughed, spilling water on the floor, he would look at it lewdly and say something like this. “Kang Jun has a lot of water.” Son of a bitch.

“You only say you’ll kill me, kill me…”

Go Yohan’s torso broke through the wall of my palm again. The words he whispered close to my ear were extremely arrogant.

“You’ve never won a fight against me, have you?”

A snickering laugh touched my ear. Go Yohan was mocking me. Arrogant bastard. Not wanting to lose to him, I tilted my head slightly and lowered my gaze. I could see his mouth, which was smirking. He was a really annoying guy. With an unpleasant feeling, I subtly avoided the guy who was putting his face behind my ear and grinning.

“Not in a fight.”

Slowly reaching out, I grabbed his receding forearm tightly and said in a low voice.

“Anyway, don’t do it inside or outside.”

Go Yohan, whose forearm was grabbed, closed his mouth for a moment and lost his words. After a long time of silently fighting with our eyes, we separated as if we had made a promise. Go Yohan let go of my chin, and I let go of Go Yohan’s arm. The slender hand that was slowly moving away folded, and his elbow went up on the table.

“Then I won’t, so please do me a favor.”

“What is it?”

His face, with his chin gently placed on his stiff fingers, smirked.

“…”

Go Yohan with this face is always dangerous. I slowly picked up the little coffee that was left. It was a tacit attitude that I wouldn’t be embarrassed by anything he said. Go Yohan, who was watching it with interesting eyes, opened his mouth slightly.

The words he spat out were the worst.

“Take my virginity.”

I ended up spitting out the coffee I had in my mouth into the air. Go Yohan grabbed me, who was coughing and bending over, and brought his face close while bending over with me, and kept talking endlessly.

“I’ll let you take me without saying a word.”

“…Ke, cough! Keheuk!”

“Do you think it’s easy to eat someone like me? You don’t know because you’re a virgin, do you? It’s really difficult.”

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I covered Go Yohan’s mouth, which was constantly grinning and chattering, with my hand. It was to tell him to please shut up. But Go Yohan lightly folded his eyes and forcibly moved his lips, which were pressed down by my palm. I couldn’t hear what he was saying properly because they were pressed down so much, but his intention was clear. Because he stuck out his tongue and licked my finger in that state.

“Ah, hey!”

I was startled and took my hand away, looking at my fingers, which were wet. I was panicking so much that my head was about to explode. Go Yohan’s long index finger slowly dug between my fingers. Then he pressed down on my palm tightly and wouldn’t let go. I twisted my hand wildly with all my might and looked at Go Yohan. The face at the end of my gaze was pouting as if he was deliberately sulking.

“Other people lose their virginity in high school, but I’m a virgin at twenty, how am I supposed to live?”

“…You’re really a son of a bitch after all.”

“Yeah, I was a damn fool after all.”

Ugh… Go Yohan sighed as if he was self-deprecating. He still didn’t let go of my hand and put it on his right thigh. Then, he subtly pushed my hand between his legs, so I hurriedly pulled my hand out. Go Yohan’s broken right hand was easy to escape from. But Go Yohan looked at my hand with regretful eyes, like a child who had been robbed of a precious toy.

“…Ah.”

Then he licked his lips with his tongue. It was very stimulating.

“Why do you keep doing this?”

I lowered my voice and looked at Go Yohan with resentment. Then Go Yohan also lowered his voice in the same way, as if he had something to say, and whispered quietly.

“Why, you haven’t let me do ‘that’ since that day.”

“That…”

“This.”

Go Yohan’s slender finger tapped his reddish lips. Naturally, my gaze went to Go Yohan’s lips, which were tapping and protruding. My pupils gradually widened, my vision expanded, and Go Yohan’s lips moved slowly.

“I’m sexually frustrated. It’s driving me crazy.”

It felt like my eardrums were broken. My brain was about to explode with heat and my mind was about to fly away. I could even hear tinnitus. Damn it, I was afraid that my face would turn red and it would show, so I jumped up from my seat.

“Don’t do anything stupid and get up quickly. You said we were going to have dinner.”

I spat out the words urgently with a fierce mind. I didn’t even hear the answer and hurriedly got up from my seat. I quickly hid my hand in my pocket. The sensitive senses popped up due to the temperature of the hot inner skin that suddenly touched. The fingertips hidden in my pocket wriggled with a tingling sensation.

“Let’s eat Korean beef. Korean beef-.”

It was annoying that he followed me so easily with his long legs behind me as I moved my steps quickly, but the sound of him constantly chattering behind me was even more annoying. Eventually, I stopped walking and bit my teeth tightly. Go Yohan, who followed me closely, stopped walking the same way and smiled down at me as if looking down on me.

You unlucky bastard.

“You’re going to eat it, right?”

“Okay. But you pay.”

I was dumbfounded by the sight of him fluttering a card. Dinner was decided like that. I sighed and said. I had enough money to pay, but it was a word from a desperate attempt to screw him over.

“Jun-ah. I’ve told you over and over again. Don’t you remember?”

But Go Yohan drooped his shoulders and grumbled as if blaming me.

“Please don’t spend any money.”

What kind of words is he saying like a chaebol boyfriend? Thinking about it, I suddenly realized. Thinking about it again, Go Yohan looked like he was far from money.

“…If it’s the third financial sector or architecture, it would be plausible.”

“What? What did you say?”

“It’s nothing.”

I quickly closed my mouth. Then, I needlessly scolded Go Yohan, who quickly approached me.

“If I don’t spend money, then how am I supposed to get around?”

“Call me. That way, I can stick to you and lend you money and get interest.”

“…”

This is disgusting.

Honestly, Go Yohan’s actions all come back to me as poison. Go Yohan did an uncharacteristic cute act of tilting his big frame slightly to the side. What I really hated was that it looked really cute. What’s so cute about that tall guy acting cute? I resent myself, who I can’t even understand. Avoiding his eyes, I ran towards the Korean beef restaurant, which I didn’t even know where it was.

And after arriving at an unknown meat restaurant near the school by accident, I put a mouthful of cheap meat that I didn’t even know what it tasted like. Then, what Go Yohan said was a sight to behold. “Well, dairy cows are also Korean beef.” It was Korean beef, but it was trash Korean beef. And I found out the meaning of Kang Suhyun’s actions. The action of putting the ends of both index fingers together. Go Yohan said that it meant breaking up. The guy who told me the meaning asked with a serious face.

“Did you cut it off?”

“Cut off? What do you mean?”

“Did you cut between your fingers with the side of your hand?”

“No?”

Should I have done it? When I looked at him with a frown in that sense, Go Yohan rubbed his forehead and frowned.

“How can you not do that? You idiot. You’ve given that bastard another chance.”

“Are you an elementary school student? What kind of…”

“Are you looking down on elementary school students? This is a tacit agreement. Contact that bastard again. Call him here in the future.”

“What are you going to do by calling him?”

“You just stay still. I’m going to break that bastard’s index finger.”

“You went to the same high school as me, took the same exam, and came to the same university, right?”

Go Yohan’s eyes rolled to the side at my rebuke. Even in the midst of that, his hand, which was scooping up meat with a spoon and putting it in his mouth, was really fast. I sighed and put the cooked meat on Go Yohan’s plate. Seeing a piece of meat go on top of the white rice, Go Yohan finally turned his eyes and frowned.

“Hey, don’t give it to me, eat it yourself.”

“I’m full because I ate cake.”

I don’t really have an appetite, and I’m not hungry either. So I was picking at the side dishes, and Go Yohan’s eyebrow twitched as he watched. Go Yohan, who let out a hollow breath as if he was dumbfounded, leaned back and said sharply.

“Did you think I asked you to eat with me so you could watch me eat? Ah, I’m really speechless. Hey, why did you eat so much cake that you’re full?”

“What are you talking about? You’re the one who told me to eat it?”

“At that time, I meant to eat cake and meat!”

What the hell am I supposed to do? I was the one who was dumbfounded, so I looked up and down at Go Yohan.

“I can’t do this. I’m not going to touch it, so you eat it.”

Go Yohan is now desperately picking up the cooked meat with a spoon and putting it on my plate. I was holding chopsticks and staring blankly at the scene, and then I saw the meat falling under the charcoal fire due to Go Yohan’s clumsy movements and continued.

“No. The meat here is not good. You eat it.”

“No. You need to gain some weight.”

“What are you going to do by making me gain weight like that?”

What’s the benefit to you if I gain weight? When I asked with a frown, Go Yohan chewed on the traces of meat on the spoon with his teeth and said nonchalantly.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard. I’m going to raise you strong enough so you can’t even faint and do it until morning. Because you’re too precious, damn it.”

I almost bit my tongue at the sudden sincerity.

“You crazy…”

I knew that no one would hear because it was noisy with people eating dinner. In a fit of anger, I kicked Go Yohan’s shin. You son of a bitch.

“Ah! It hurts.”

I agree with Kang Suhyun’s words once again. Why am I friends with him?

“It really hurts. Jun-ah. Don’t do this.”

Go Yohan lowered his eyes and made a pitiful expression. He deliberately whined more and stroked his shin with his palm. It’s so annoyingly handsome that it pisses me off.

Why do I live with him?

Kang Suhyun was unusually obsessed with this assignment. To the extent that he obsessively sent me things like [First Night Plan]. The contents inside were truly a sight to behold. There was plenty of solid evidence as to why Kang Suhyun was able to receive a C- in the last team assignment.

[Data containing a perfect plan with ideas that can be said to be a moderately sexy and romantic first night]

“Is this a proper sentence? How did he take the college entrance exam?”

The content was even more insane.

[The most important things on the first night: atmosphere, romantic, successful]

“…Isn’t he a crazy bastard?”

Of course, condoms, a clean and safe place, cleanliness, right? I was so dumbfounded that it was rather funny. Okay, let’s see how far he goes. With that thought, I scrolled down the screen. As expected, he was not in his right mind.

[Plan: 1. For a successful experiment, we have prepared an experimenter and a subject who have built trust over a long period of time. 1-1. The extraction and preference analysis of the subject was done through the information gathering of the experimenter Kang Jun. After that, this plan will proceed based on the information of the experimenter. 2. Information about the subject is kept strictly confidential for anonymity. There are no problems with safety.]

“Damn it, is this bastard trying to advertise to the professor that I had sex?”

He guarantees the anonymity of the other person, but why isn’t my anonymity guaranteed? It’s very disorganized. Or is he doing this to screw me over? I wanted to ask him if he was well aware that the professor reads the submitted assignments.

[Sent to Kang Jun because Kang Jun did not accept my application for breaking up. Absolutely no lingering feelings. It’s not because I can’t do it. I could have done it enough, but Kang Jun, who already has a track record, was more qualified, so I had no choice.]

Even the last sentence was a fantasy of fantasy. Go Yohan was right. I should have hit him with the side of my hand, whether his finger broke or not. Damn it.

I came home and opened my laptop for the assignment, but I closed it again with a terrible feeling. At the same time, someone was scratching the door with their fingers outside the door.

“Jun-ah-, please open it.”

“Get lost. Don’t even think about coming into my room again.”

This is all because of what Go Yohan did at dinner. By the time Go Yohan started to realize that something was wrong, I had already come into the room and locked the door.

“Ah, I was just kidding? I meant I was going to do that headbutt.”

“…”

“Ah! Open it. Jun-ah, just open it for a second. Just open it for a second.”

“What are you going to do by opening it for a second?”

“Then I’ll go in within a second.”

In the end, he’s saying he’s coming in. This bastard, really. I couldn’t contain my anger and got up as it was, went to the door where Go Yohan was standing, and kicked it hard once. Then I roughly swept back my bangs and envied Go Yohan, who would be beyond the door.

“Don’t talk to me until I finish my assignment.”

He warned in a low voice, turned around, and plopped down on the bed right in front of him. Unlike the warning he gave Go Yohan, he didn’t have any assignments with imminent deadlines. Most of them were already finished, and he just needed to organize them. He squinted at the dazzling light, then covered his eyes with his forearm. The reason for my annoyance wasn’t that Go Yohan was teasing me.

From across the door, there was a sound of something slowly caressing the door. It was a very cautious speed.

“Okay. Come out when you feel better. Okay?”

The gloom that came over with the drooping voice dampened my mood.

“…This house isn’t soundproof enough.”

It was just an unnecessary grumble.

I was lying in bed for a long time, lost in useless thoughts, when suddenly I felt thirsty. It was because the stew that came with the meal was too salty. I pouted my lips, and after a short deliberation, I got up. It had only been an hour and a half since I closed the door and started my sit-in protest.

“I’m not very patient either.”

I pressed down on the back of my head, which was flattened and floating, with the palm of my hand and unlocked the tightly closed door. The fact that I pricked up my ears to find Go Yohan’s presence in the meantime proves that I’m still an incorrigible idiot. No sign could be heard or seen from the slightly opened gap.

“Did he go out somewhere?”

I let go of the doorknob that I was timidly turning in vain. Yeah, I’m an idiot for expecting anything. I shook my head again and blamed myself. Well, I was the one who said I wouldn’t come out until the assignment was done. But I couldn’t erase the timidly rising feeling of disappointment. How pathetic.

“…What are you doing, really. Kang Jun.”

I scratched my cheek in embarrassment and opened the door completely. And I saw Go Yohan. Go Yohan was leaning against the wall next to the door, bent over and asleep. Go Yohan, who was hidden by the door and couldn’t be seen. From the moment I saw the tips of his flesh-colored toes, my heart stopped breathing as if it had stopped, and when I saw the crown of his head, which was completely exposed because he was bent over, it pounded like crazy.

“……”

In his limp palm was a pink rubber ball. I pressed my lips tightly as I watched the rubber ball, which was hanging precariously on his finger as if it would fall at any moment. The pink ball, which looked similar to the ball that bounced around the classroom, was repeatedly trapped and pressed in Go Yohan’s hand at home. Furthermore, I hate Go Yohan’s rubber ball, whether I’m in high school or now.

I frowned and bent down. And I listened next to Go Yohan, who was sleeping like a dead mouse. I could hear a very faint breath. Only then did I feel relieved, and I picked up the ball on his palm and stood up. Then I saw the cell phone that was placed as if it had fallen on Go Yohan’s left hand.

To be exact, it was the numerous alarms piled up on Go Yohan’s screen.

“…The number has changed too.”

I knew it vaguely. I realized it very late, but I still guessed it to some extent. Go Yohan doesn’t absolutely have no friends. And I felt uncomfortable with the calls looking for Go Yohan, even though they had been deleted. I know what this discomfort is, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it because I didn’t want to believe it was jealousy.

Tch. I kicked Go Yohan’s cell phone away with my dissatisfied toes.

“……”

But it seems I’m not the type of person who can do completely petty things. I should be able to just ignore someone who fell asleep in front of my door and pass by. But I’m getting weak again at the sight of him tilting slightly because he can’t bear the weight.

“Ha, really……”

I grabbed my waist with one hand and lamented while stroking my forehead with the other. I get weak in front of people I like. I have to fix this bad habit someday. Geez, I clicked my tongue lightly.

“I don’t know either.”

I guess I still have a long way to go before I grow up. I feel sorry for myself for having to live so immaturely for the time being, but right now, I felt better doing what made me feel comfortable. I turned away from the kitchen and went back into the room. Then I picked up a small blanket that was lying haphazardly on the bed and came out. As soon as I crossed the threshold, I bent my knees and stubbornly insisted on my last bit of pride. It was my last struggle to assert that I’m not such an easy person.

“I’m just covering you with a blanket. Just a blanket. Okay?”

There was no answer to the question, only the sound of gentle snoring. Listening to the slow breathing that came out in time with his breath, I felt complicated emotions.

“What’s the point of talking to someone who’s sleeping……”

Pathetic. Pathetic. I rubbed my cheek with the back of my hand for no reason, tapped it lightly, and then unfolded the blanket and covered it over his shoulders. Go Yohan always sleeps without covering himself. As I rattled off such trivial complaints and took my hand away, he tilted his head slightly. That’s when Go Yohan’s nose and lips, which were a little more protruding than usual because he was sleeping, came into my sight.

“……”

What am I doing? I thought, but I couldn’t bring myself to take my eyes off him. Honestly, he’s not my type. Go Yohan is a little too thin for my taste. But I can’t help but be drawn to him because of his unique gloomy and flamboyant atmosphere. As if possessed, the hand that had put the blanket on his shoulder gradually reached for the tip of his nose and lips.

I feel like it’ll sink in if I press it. I swallowed hard. The fingertips, trembling so slightly that it was hard to express, touched Go Yohan’s lips, the fullest part. I felt a formless heat at the moment his flesh was slightly pressed, and I trembled slightly. I subtly stroked the boundary between the pink flesh and the apricot-colored flesh, and brought my head closer as if drunk. It was when I was fascinated by the white downy hairs reflected in the light.

I felt something strange.

A strange feeling washes over me. Didn’t the skin muscles just move very slowly? I lifted my chin slightly while still touching the boundary of his lips. There I met Go Yohan, who had opened his eyes.

“…What are you doing.”

“…Huh, huh?”

Embarrassment sets in. All the heavy emotions that had intoxicated me scattered on the floor. I hurriedly took my hand off his lips and made excuses in an awkward voice.

“Th, there was something on your face.”

“……”

But there was no answer. Embarrassed, I turned my gaze back to Go Yohan, who I had been subtly avoiding. Embarrassingly, Go Yohan was looking down at my lips with his eyes lowered and smiling very faintly. Because of the sudden dizziness, I instinctively tried to cover my lips with my fingers.

“Wait a minute.”

Until I was caught by Go Yohan. Go Yohan gently stopped my hand, suddenly grabbed the side of my head with both hands, and rubbed his lips heavily on my forehead.

“Hey, Go Yohan……!”

I hurriedly pushed his shoulder, but it was not enough. Go Yohan stuck his lips on mine so strongly that the sound of the contact surface falling off was blatant, and then took them off. I was relieved that it was just a kiss on the forehead, but at the same moment I felt a sense of disappointment, Go Yohan smiled softly and this time kissed me under my eyes.

Under the eyes, next to the temples, under the cheeks, above the lips, the chin, back up to the eyebrows, and even between the eyebrows, soft lips touched as if they were being crushed. I couldn’t bring myself to lose my mind to the soft touch, and I couldn’t even think of stopping him, so I just lightly closed and opened my eyes each time Go Yohan’s lips touched me.

His left hand, which had been holding the side of my head, lightly stroked my earlobe.

“Are you feeling better?”

I couldn’t open my mouth for a while. I was afraid of what kind of foolish words would come out if I opened my mouth. I just suffered from the desire boiling inside me. Just a little more. Because those words that betrayed reason were knocking on my closed lips. I just nodded, avoiding the eyes that were about to fill with tears.

“That’s a relief.”

Then Go Yohan jumped up. I felt his fingers lightly brushing past me and let out a groan of disappointment.

“Ah……”

“Did you finish your assignment? Can I play with you now?”

The cause of my distress didn’t hear my lament. It was a million to one shot of good fortune. I covered my red face and damned mouth with the back of my hand and followed him.

Go Yohan, who had entered my room without permission, sat down at the desk with the laptop. Huh. Before I could feel any strange thoughts, before I could stop him, the hand that had made me feel so sorry for myself opened the laptop with a bang.

“What assignment did you do?”

“Wa, wait a minute!”

The black screen lit up, and my head turned on as well. I moved my feet to cover the screen again, but Go Yohan had already read Kang Suhyun’s data that was on the screen, so I couldn’t do anything in the end. While Go Yohan’s narrow eyes quickly read all the text, I cursed the damn Kang Suhyun and bit my tongue slightly.

“Data containing the perfect plan with thoughts that can be said to be a moderately sexy and romantic first night?”

“Ah, that’s.”

“What’s with this trashy title?”

“Cover it up. It’s not trashy, it’s real trash.”

“Wait a minute.”

I grabbed the laptop screen to quickly cover it, but I couldn’t do anything in the end because Go Yohan blocked it with his hand. Until Go Yohan’s narrow eyes quickly read all the text, I cursed the damn Kang Suhyun and bit my tongue slightly.

“This class isn’t the women’s studies class you’re taking with Kang Suhyun, is it?”

“……That’s right.”

“Why is there talk about sex in a women’s studies class?”

Something prickly pricks me.

“Sex and gender can’t be separated.”

“……”

“……Kang Suhyun said so.”

Actually, it’s not a situation where I have to make excuses, but I feel uneasy even while explaining because of Go Yohan’s calmly lowered eyes and his inherently gloomy and fierce eyes. Go Yohan listened to my words quietly, then tapped the screen with his unique long fingers and continued.

“Who is this subject?”

“Huh?”

“Who is the bastard who has built trust with Kang Jun for a long time?”

“I don’t know either. Kang Suhyun just wrote it arbitrarily.”

I reflexively waved my hand in the air and continued.

“She told me to find someone who’s been together for two years, or something like that.”

I felt strange even while adding the explanation. The thought that had been lingering uncomfortably since I heard Kang Suhyun’s words suddenly pointed to something. Go Yohan came into my sight completely.

“……Two years?”

We’ve been together for two years, or something, just not dating, or something like that.

Go Yohan muttered to himself and suddenly folded two fingers. Thumb, index finger. The room was so quiet that I could hear him whispering softly.

“Sophomore, junior.”

Wait a minute. My head started spinning too. Go Yohan, who had a strangely uneasy face even after counting the numbers, stopped thinking and raised his head. One eyebrow went up crookedly. It was the first time in a long time that I saw him so serious.

“By calendar year or by number of years?”

“……There was no such thing.”

“Didn’t you decide?”

And, in the meantime, I hesitated and said, watching his reaction.

“There was no mention of the number of years.”

Silence flowed. It was only a short time before Go Yohan, who was looking at me blankly with his fingers folded, burst into a joyful laugh. White teeth are revealed. Go Yohan suddenly raised his head and stroked his neck. I wondered what he was thinking while looking at the ceiling,

“You said Kang Suhyun, right?”

“……?”

“The bastard who gave you the assignment.”

He said.

It didn’t seem to mean anything special, so I just nodded, grabbing my gown.

“Yeah.”

“Hmm.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed every time Go Yohan opened his mouth. At the same time, I swallowed too.

“Is something wrong?”

I suddenly wondered about Go Yohan’s actions and asked, and Go Yohan finally raised his head and looked at me.

“I’m just curious about what the intention is.”

Go Yohan’s eyes were filled with joy.

“The assignment is fun.”

“……”

But an indescribable, eerie uneasiness crawled up my calves. Go Yohan, who was still pressing his neck with his left hand, felt somehow dangerous. Even the right hand that was constantly squeezing the round ball.

“If you need it, should I tell you my preferences?”

“What?”

“It says here that it reflects your preferences.”

Whether it was intentional or just funny. I don’t think he’s really having fun with this assignment. Just as I was desperately trying to figure out Go Yohan’s intentions, Go Yohan, who was now half-rising from his chair and laughing so loudly that it made a sound, opened his mouth as he pleased.

“I’m……”

His intense gaze looked at my face, then smiled more deeply and went down.

“Moderately big, slightly chubby, with volume, but with less hair……”

You crazy bastard. My face was flushed. I was so flushed that I lost strength in my legs and sat down on the bed as if collapsing. All efforts to figure out his intentions were in vain. As expected, Go Yohan is confusion itself. I shouted at Go Yohan urgently.

“Don’t do it. Whatever you’re about to say, don’t say it.”

“Ah, you won’t let me say anything.”

“Of course, what do you do every time you open your mouth……”

“What do I do every time I open my mouth?”

A playful look flashed across Go Yohan’s face for a moment. Go Yohan, who was leaning his arms on the back of the chair and smiling, asked again.

“What do I do when I open my mouth?”

“……You son of a bitch.”

I clenched the blanket tightly with my hands. He’s trying to tease me. It’s so obvious, but the problem is that Go Yohan is so good at this obvious and transparent thing.

“I was talking about your hair.”

“Bullshit.”

“I don’t like people with too small faces. So you have a minus point because of that.”

That shameless bastard. He’s so thick-skinned that he has no shame. Tell me something that makes sense. First of all, the explanation Go Yohan gave doesn’t make sense in the first place.

“I have a lot of hair.”

But Go Yohan smiled, folding his eyes. He even covered his mouth and rolled his eyes. At that moment, I realized that I had been caught up in Go Yohan’s prank again. Even that it was already too late.

“Really? Then where were you so surprised that you didn’t have much hair?”

“……”

Ah, damn it. Damn it. I muttered softly and touched my forehead. My head was filled with embarrassment. I bent over and buried my head. To be honest, I never thought that my physical characteristics would be so embarrassing. It was something I had never paid attention to before.

“……Hey, just go back out.”

I couldn’t bring myself to raise my head and pointed to the door with my finger.

Yeah, I’m actually ashamed and humiliated. I’m so ashamed of doing that with Go Yohan, but I wanted to die even more because the comparison group was Go Yohan. Even every single word Go Yohan said when I was embarrassed and covering my center remains as a memory of shame. That’s why. That’s why I didn’t even accept the kisses that he was subtly accepting.

“Jun-ah, that’s a compliment, you know?”

But whether Go Yohan noticed it or not. No, he must have noticed. He must have noticed, so he’s doing this. He stuck to me and spouted these words.

“I really like white cocks.”

Just like right now. My patience has reached its limit.

“You son of a bitch, I’m not a white cock!”

I revealed the face I was trying to hide by lowering my head. I turned around, picked up the small cushions on the bed, and threw them at Go Yohan. I was so embarrassed that tears welled up in my eyes.

“I told you I’m not!”

“Okay, okay.”

What’s even more annoying is that Go Yohan dodges everything I throw without getting hit once. Just one hit. He even lightly caught the pillow I threw with both hands and opened his mouth leisurely.

“Allergy-free peach.”

“Hey!”

The sight of him hiding his face behind the pillow and holding back his laughter makes me want to kill him.

“Late autumn rice paddy.”

“……I told you not to.”

Now I don’t care if my face is red with embarrassment. I just want to beat Go Yohan to death once. I was so upset and angry that I couldn’t stand it. Go Yohan hid his face under the pillow and shrugged his shoulders…… as expected, he betrayed my expectations.

“……Pee, peeled banana.”

What’s the point of hiding his face? His exposed shoulders are trembling.

Damn it, I can’t stand it anymore. I really want to hit that annoying bastard at least once. I know it’s just a small thing, but I’m already on the verge of tears because of the unbearable shame. I wiped away the tears with my forearm and ran towards Go Yohan, hitting his arms and shoulders with all my might.

“Ah, it hurts. It really hurts.”

“I swear, I’m going to kill you here.”

He’s not really in pain. He can dodge it as much as he wants. The sight of him deliberately getting hit and smiling brightly makes me want to stop, but when I see Go Yohan smiling so innocently, my hand automatically hesitates.

The reason was pathetic. Go Yohan didn’t smile like that in high school. I’ve never seen him do it.

Go Yohan has started smiling like that recently. To be exact, he’s been smiling subtly since he started living with me, and recently, a week ago. He smiles like that since we crossed the line.

“……I really hate you.”

If you really hate me, you can just kick me out. I stubbornly clung to the chair, holding onto Go Yohan, who was sobbing and shaking his shoulders. But Go Yohan, upon hearing my words, abruptly stopped laughing and stood up. He was in such a hurry that the chair he had been sitting on slid back and hit the wall.

W-what?

Sniffling, I alternated my gaze between Go Yohan and the chair. His large frame completely blocked the light, his back slightly hunched as he looked down at me, his long hands hovering in the air, unsure of what to do. Then, after a long time of watching my reaction, he opened his mouth with a slightly trembling voice.

“Sorry. I was just, I was just joking because I really like you……”

I was just as lost with my own emotions. Go Yohan’s constantly wandering gaze tickled my chest. Really, Go Yohan is a bad guy. I closed my mouth for a moment, then blurted out a thought that suddenly came to mind. It was because I felt like I had to.

“You really are.”

Go Yohan tightly closed his eyes. He hunched his shoulders and closed his mouth. Watching him, I continued.

“You really like that……thing?”

That word that was even awkward to say. It wouldn’t even come out of my mouth. Crazy. But Go Yohan slowly opened his eyes, and after seeing my expression, he gave a clumsy smile as if relieved. Just like someone who had been startled out of their wits, and was only now coming back to their senses. In the midst of all that, he didn’t forget to nod.

“Yeah, honestly, a shaved head is totally my type.”

“……”

Crazy bastard. What kind of mental fortitude does he have to keep saying that even in this situation? If I had to pick the most uniquely minded person I know, it would be Go Yohan. Sometimes, I even had the unsettling thought that Go Yohan’s Father might have been like that when he was younger.

But knowing how depressed Go Yohan would be if he found out about those thoughts, I didn’t bother to say anything. I just picked a fight with my protruding lips.

“Then, you should shave yours bald.”

This is all Kang Suhyun’s fault.

I resented God. Did I really need to be given this trial just for taking away one Go Yohan? I wholeheartedly agreed with Go Yohan’s statement that God sucks. I don’t know why I always have to face these kinds of trials.

“……”

Early in the morning, I felt someone approaching me as I was drinking water. They were muffling their footsteps. But they weren’t trying hard enough. I pretended not to notice, not for Go Yohan’s sake, but because I was too lazy to care.

“Jun-ah, good morning.”

The voice whispering closely in my ear, as if trying to surprise me, was low and rough, as if scratched somewhere. I wasn’t very surprised, and with the cup to my lips, I just took a sip and slightly turned my head. Go Yohan leaned on the table in front of me and said in a voice still heavy with sleep.

“I like people who compulsively drink a glass of water in the morning.”

Yes, the important thing is that the trial I took away is Go Yohan. Maybe even God couldn’t handle Go Yohan and abandoned him to me. That’s how crazy Go Yohan is.

“I also like people who wake up with their hair sticking up in the back because they cut layers into it.”

You do too. It’s not just me. Does he think his hair is clean right now? It’s not something someone with an antenna on the top of their head should be saying. I squinted and looked at the top of Go Yohan’s head. Maybe Go Yohan still hasn’t noticed.

I feel like my head will explode if I listen any longer. I took the cup away from my mouth, wiped the water from the corners of my lips, and said. More accurately, I cut off Go Yohan’s words.

“Oh, right, I have to go home today.”

I didn’t say that his hair was sticking up too, no matter what. The eyes that had been half-closed with drowsiness slowly opened at my words.

“……Why?”

“My parents are coming tomorrow. So I might be at home until the weekend.”

It wasn’t anything special. They usually come back to Korea around this time of year due to their schedule. I looked at the calendar and thought, oh, it’s almost time for them to come, and my parents usually stay for a few days for work and then go back without much contact.

But Go Yohan, who wouldn’t know about such a normal schedule, made a serious face. In a way that didn’t suit him at all.

“Then what about me.”

“What about you.”

“What am I supposed to do alone in this big house?”

“Big house?”

It was such a ridiculous thing to say. I couldn’t even think about putting down the cup and lightly looked around the inside of the house. ……Big? I looked again, but my opinion didn’t change. I looked at Go Yohan, who seemed to be deliberately acting pitiful, and said.

“Isn’t it about the same size as your room?”

What is he talking about, when he used to live in a room that was this big? I shook my head, tired of Go Yohan’s way of speaking that was so much to his liking, and Go Yohan, who was looking at my expression with displeasure, gave an answer that was beyond imagination.

“Yeah, my room is big.”

That’s right. It’s big. It’s a size that I can’t deny. That shut me up. If he says it like that, there’s really nothing to say.

“And if they’re coming tomorrow, why are you going today?”

“I have things to check, and things to get from Auntie.”

“What are you getting?”

At those words, I quietly pointed to the refrigerator. Go Yohan, who followed my finger with his gaze, made a bursting sound as he said, “Ah.”

“She didn’t come last week. So I just said I’d take it.”

“Well, then there’s no helping it.”

“So I’m going to go pick it up first……”

“Yeah, let’s go pick it up.”

Huh? The conversation is strange. I tilted my head and looked at Go Yohan. I could still see the hair sticking up in the back. Below that was Go Yohan, nodding with a fairly serious face. Every time his jawline, which looked sharp, lightly bobbed up and down, his hair fluttered.

“Let’s pick it up?”

“Yeah, what am I supposed to do when Jun-i asks me like this. I have to go and listen to him.”No, I’m going to send it by courier.””

I can’t understand why he’s thinking of carrying it all the way. But Go Yohan’s voice was scarily low.

“Hey.”

Go Yohan, who always has a heavy atmosphere, is a bit burdensome. It’s because he’s so flamboyant and looks fierce. And because he’s even gloomy, people who see him for the first time find even his smiling face awkward. When Go Yohan gets genuinely serious like that, it’s honestly a little scary.

“……Wh-why.”

“Are you ignoring Auntie’s sincerity? Are you even human?”

The tension was suddenly released. No, what does he mean by not even being human? It’s ridiculous how serious he’s being.

“And am I someone who has to stay cooped up at home if you tell me to?”

“That’s not it, Auntie doesn’t know I live with you.”

“What doesn’t she know? Then is the bastard living with you a ghost?”

“No, I just said I live with a classmate from the same school. She doesn’t know it’s you. It’ll be weird if you suddenly show up and you take the side dishes. So many weird things have happened with you.”

“Then I’ll tell her on this occasion. And I’ll become friends with Auntie.”

Go Yohan, who arrogantly raised his chin, continued.

“I’m going to tell her the dried radish kimchi was so delicious.”

“……”

Why do I really live with this guy?

With a hollow feeling, I put the cup on the table and despaired quietly. My life is really going strangely awry. Of course, it’s different from when I was in high school. The only thing that’s the same is that the center of it all is Go Yohan. The problem is always Go Yohan.

Feeling a headache coming on, I brushed past Go Yohan and went into the room. Then, without a word, I made the bed and prepared to take a shower. At that moment, Go Yohan’s voice was heard from outside the room. “Hello.” I thought it was nothing and went into the bathroom and turned on the water. No more sound was heard.

When I came out of the shower, the house was unusually quiet. I didn’t think it was strange until I dried my hair and changed my clothes, but when I left the room, the absence of presence clearly sharpened its edge and grabbed my ankle. Even the sunlight coming in through the veranda had muted its breath.

“Go Yohan?”

I called out to Go Yohan with an unknown anxiety. But the silence, like being submerged in deep water, even muffled my anxiety. Was this the feeling of hiding a beautiful canary caught in the forest in both hands, but when I returned home and opened my hands with joy, there were only two or three feathers?

The house was still well maintained. Of course, my parents wouldn’t have sent a secretary or manager to check on it, but even the subtle and delicate smell that only people who have lived there for a long time know hadn’t changed. The house still smelled like last winter.

“My mother.”

The footsteps following my pace were still silent. Just like their owner.

“Yes.”

“She says Auntie’s boiled pork and fresh kimchi are delicious.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, she likes them.”

This time, it was said as I was going up the stairs covered with a thin carpet. Actually, it’s a lie. My mother just said this.

‘I want to eat some boiled food now. I get bloated easily as I get older.’

The statement that my mother likes Auntie’s boiled pork was purely a lie born out of my kindness. Kindness that narrowed the choices for Auntie, kindness that allowed my parents to eat the food they longed for. And,

“Dried radish kimchi too.”

Kindness that was impossible to identify. There was a very small hesitation that was difficult to distinguish when I said the last menu item. I slowly tapped the railing I was absentmindedly holding onto with my finger.

“She says it’s delicious.”

“Then I’ll prepare it in advance.”

She’s still indifferent. There’s no tone of reproach, but I felt awkward.

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Yes.”

Having no opinion means, conversely, that it’s hard to know what she’s thinking. I glanced back and then looked back up after seeing her silently looking down at the floor.

“Oh, what about dinner?”

Auntie, who had been following me, suddenly said.

“……I’m okay.”

I had no appetite. It was because my mind had been on my phone screen the whole time. Has Go Yohan come home by now? No, why did he leave the house without a word? He acted like he would definitely follow me, but what’s with disappearing like a ghost?

“I’m just going to go lie down in my room. I’m going to take a nap.”

“Yes.”

The old Auntie used to scold me when I said things like that, saying that’s why I don’t gain weight. She was still a cold person. The steps that had been following me all along went back down to the first floor after confirming that I had entered the room.

The bed I lay on after a long time felt unfamiliar. It was the bed I had been lying on all my life, but it became awkward after not using it for just a few months. The awkward comfort was uncomfortable. I turned over and lay on my side. The sound of the sheets rustling filled the room like thunder. My mind was still on the screen. Eventually, unable to bear this, I raised my hand, grabbed the corner of my phone, and turned it over.

“Go Yohan, you…….”

You son of a bitch. I repeated the curse I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud.

As a habit, I don’t even check the messages I don’t like. It’s because I don’t want to make excuses. Maybe I’m the one who creates the most indefinite news. Not answering calls and lying that I didn’t receive them until late because the alarms were pushed back was my specialty.

But when I was on the receiving end, I felt suffocated. I couldn’t sleep at all. I guess I did a lot of bad things. Unable to sleep, I dragged the blanket out and lay down on the living room sofa. I lay down in an uncomfortable place, closed my eyes, and waited for a sleep that wouldn’t come. Looking at the low-saturation orange color shining through the drooping curtains, I was swept up in a strange emotion that I couldn’t explain. Feeling a tightness in the upper part of my chest, I turned over and buried my nose in the sofa.

“Damn bastard.”

The plan fell through. No contact came yesterday or today. Not from Go Yohan, not from my parents. When I went to the dining room, I smelled meat boiling. I felt guilty because of the slightly musty smell.

I shouldn’t have said anything if this was going to happen, I lightly clenched my fist and tapped the center of my forehead. Then, looking around cautiously, I hesitated, made up my mind, and moved my feet. I could hear the sound of water boiling and the stainless steel ladle banging against the pot.

“Excuse me…….”

“Yes.”

Auntie answered without turning around.

“Did you happen to hear from my parents?”

Usually, even if it’s late, they should have contacted me by now. That’s why I asked, wondering why it was so quiet.

“I did.”

Auntie, who was silently boiling meat and cooking something similar to porridge, had a surprisingly flat tone.

“They said they won’t be coming until the day after tomorrow.”

“……That’s strange, I didn’t hear from them.”

“Jun-i student.”

The back of her head, with her long hair neatly tied back, was so calm that it was eerie. As Auntie held up the stainless steel ladle, white porridge fell down the side of the pot.

“Your phone must be broken.”

At those words, I picked up the phone I was holding and checked it. The screen turned on fine, and the sound was on.

“I don’t think it’s broken.”

“Did you turn on your data?”

“Pardon?”

Data? I turned on the screen again and checked, and it was working fine.

“Yes.”

With a clattering sound, the ladle was placed on the pot. After calmly organizing it, Auntie, who had retied her apron strings, turned around and looked at me.

“The president said that Jun-i student isn’t answering the phone.”

“……Then, I’m sorry, but can I use your phone?”

“Yes.”

Auntie took the phone out of her apron pocket and stretched out her hand. I also stretched out my body across the table, took the phone, turned on the unlocked screen, and pressed my number. When I put it to my ear, it didn’t even ring and left a familiar voice.

‘The customer is currently unable to answer the phone. Please call again later…….’,

“Huh.”

“Is it not working?”

“Why isn’t it connecting?”

“I wonder.”

Auntie seemed to be thinking with a slightly serious face, but soon turned her attention to the pot of boiling meat. It was because the water suddenly swelled up and boiled over. I watched the situation for a moment, then asked again, a little louder than before.

“Can I try again?”

“Yes.”

She didn’t even look at me this time either. Well, I don’t have anything to lose. I slowly redialed and called again, but all I heard was the same message. Feeling strange, I turned on the internet, but it would turn on and then stop halfway, and it wouldn’t run at all.

“……”

Strange. Not knowing what was going on, I turned on the internet search bar on Auntie’s phone this time. It worked very well. The cause came out quickly. Thanks to it being right there in the real-time search terms.

“It says it’s a base station problem. No calls, no internet.”

“I heard they’re changing the communication network on a large scale this time, so I guess there’s a problem.”

“Ah, that. But yours…….”

“I’m using a budget plan, so I guess it’s okay. I’m not using the new communication network.”

Was it the fact that it wasn’t a mechanical defect? Or was it the feeling that I understood but didn’t want to understand, that I absolutely didn’t want to explain, but that I vaguely knew the cause of? I felt the pain that had been squeezing the top of my chest melt away.

“Why don’t you try turning it off and on?”

“Ah, yes.”

I felt strangely lighthearted. The heavy rock that had been pressing down on my chest disappeared. Hope swelled up and even lifted me up until the phone screen turned on again. I was even happier with the few messages that had arrived.

“Is it working?”

I didn’t answer Auntie’s words and quickly pressed to check. However, the sender of the messages was not the person I had been expecting. ‘Kang Suhyun.’ My chest tightens painfully again.

“……Yes.”

There were no missed calls. Whether it was an error, or whether the phone calls that disappeared due to the base station’s mistake didn’t remain, or whether there really were no calls looking for me, I don’t know. Seeing that my parents’ missed calls also didn’t remain, I vaguely hoped that it was the former.

With an uneasy feeling, I read the alarm. The shortened content hit my tightened heart hard.

「Your frnd」

「Your friend is weird」

What is it. There’s only one person Kang Suhyun would call your friend. A suspicious thought suddenly occurred to me.

“……I’m going to go out for a bit.”

“Yes.”

With my eyes glued to the screen, I hurriedly ran out of the dining room. As I left the house, I simultaneously pressed to call Kang Suhyun. As soon as the long ringing tone was cut off, I shouted without waiting.

“Hey, where are you.”

-Jun, Jun-ah……. I’m so scared. Your friend is so scary.

“Where are you?”

-Sc, school…….

Her voice, trembling with fear, was conveyed through the receiver. I rushed out to the entrance of the neighborhood, raising my hand and desperately searching for a taxi on the nearby road.

-Th, the third floor of the New Engineering Building…….

She whispers softly, as if hiding. Could Kang Suhyun be hiding? What on earth is going on? I was dying of curiosity, but I simply said without asking more.

“Send me the exact address in a text. I’ll be there soon.”

-Come quickly and do something about your friend……. Ugh, so, so scary…….

I hated even listening to Kang Suhyun’s whining, so I just hung up and reached my hand out onto the road again, waving. A small taxi approaching from afar made a U-turn and slowly came towards me. I put my phone in my pocket and rubbed my face roughly.

What is this crazy bastard Go Yohan trying to do again?

Arriving at the address she sent, I saw an empty classroom with the lights off. Panting heavily from running up from the first to the third floor, I looked around, but there was nothing to be seen. I fumbled around, trying to find the light switch for the classroom. But because of the unfamiliar layout, I couldn’t find it at all. Leaning my shoulder against the wall to catch my breath due to a slight wave of dizziness, I called out a name in a low voice.

“Go Yohan?”

But the answer came from a large cabinet at the far end of the classroom. Thump, along with the sound of a palm carefully hitting the cabinet, a familiar voice was heard through the gap.

“……Could it be Jun?”

“Kang Suhyun?”

“It’s Jun-i!”

The cabinet burst open at the same time as the sound of crying. Isn’t that cabinet supposed to be for storing documents? In the humbly opened small space, Kang Suhyun, who could be considered quite large, was crumpled and crammed inside. My brow furrowed involuntarily. What is she doing in there? Unable to understand, I squinted in the darkness and slowly approached.

“What are you doing in there?”

“I’m doing this because of your friend.”

“……Don’t tell me Go Yohan put you in there?”

There’s no way. Even if he’s out of his mind, still. As expected, Kang Suhyun shook her head.

“No.”

“Then why are you in there?”

“I was too scared, so I hid in here.”

Kang Suhyun stretched her head out to look at the entrance, then grabbed my hand and pulled me down to sit. She cast a cautious look, as if it would be a problem if someone caught her. I sat down, somewhat bewildered, and finally asked the question I had been wondering about.

“What’s going on? Why are you so scared of Go Yohan?”

Hearing my question, Kang Suhyun shuddered, then stretched her head out again and looked around. Fortunately, the outside of the door was quiet. Relieved, Kang Suhyun lowered her voice and whispered very softly.

“Actually, yesterday……. So-yeon found out your friend’s contact information somehow.”

The first answer was already irritating. I reflexively cut her off. Perhaps I was a little hasty.

“How?”

“She said she found it through SNS?”

“Go Yohan doesn’t do that kind of thing.”

At least, that’s what I know. I hadn’t heard anything like that even in high school. As I thought deeply for a moment, my expression must have become unpleasant. Kang Suhyun waved her hand wildly and cleared up the misunderstanding.

“Oh, not your friend, your friend doesn’t do it? So she found your friend’s friend, she said.”

“A friend of a friend, if it’s Go Yohan’s friend……. Could it be Kim Seok-min?”

“I don’t think it was that name.”

Kang Suhyun lightly stroked her chin and continued.

“Your friend really has a wide network. She just searched for the high school, and when she typed in the age and name, it came up right away. She said there was no place where he wasn’t mentioned, so she found it quickly.”

I quietly ground my teeth. I had a hunch when I saw the constant notifications, but it seemed the number had spread again. I nervously shook off the wrist that was being held. I didn’t know why, but I felt bad about the lukewarm temperature touching me, so I did it without realizing it. But Kang Suhyun, thinking that I had been holding her wrist for longer than she thought, said in a slightly shrunken tone.

“Oh my, oh dear, I’m sorry.”

Only then did I realize what I had done, and I forced a friendly smile and soothed Kang Suhyun.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to. It was a mistake.”

“No, I understand how unpleasant it must have been to have a man holding your wrist so affectionately.”

Kang Suhyun smiled awkwardly and continued.

“Anyway, a text asking if So-yeon could contact your friend separately came to me this afternoon…….”

“…….”

“When I asked if it was okay to contact him with a number she got secretly, she said she couldn’t wait for your contact any longer or something like that.”

Shit. My mood worsened as if it was collapsing. It was irritating and uncomfortable. I stiffened uncontrollably. Damn it, damn it. I felt ridiculous and pathetic for getting annoyed at such trivial things, so I lowered my head. In front of Kang Suhyun, I just pretended to be troubled while lowering the heat rising to my face.

So when was it? Did I receive it when I was showering? Could that ‘Hello’ have been Park So-yeon? Or before that? Before meeting me in the morning? My head started to go crazy with jealousy. My fingertips trembled, so I forcibly clenched and unclenched my fists.

“……And then?”

“So-yeon contacted him after all. I admire her courage. She must have really liked your friend.”

“…….”

Damn it. I quietly gritted my teeth.

“And then the loyal Park So-yeon asked. You see, So-yeon is really loyal, you know?”

Haa. Kang Suhyun took a deep breath with her body buried deeper in the cabinet.

“What on earth is Kang Jun doing that he’s not answering? Ga-hee is waiting for his call, so tell him to hurry up.”

“What? What kind of meddling is that…….”

“It’s meddling. You two definitely had a strange atmosphere back then, didn’t you? In front of the bathroom? I saw it with my own two eyes, what are you talking about. You definitely hit on Ga-hee.”

“I said that was just being kind.”

I felt wronged. I was just being considerate because she seemed to be in trouble, but why did I suddenly become someone who was feeling affection for that girl? I lightly hit my chest with my fist out of frustration.

“Then, should I have just left the person there?”

“The atmosphere was incredibly romantic. Don’t deny it. You playboy.”

“This is driving me crazy……. Really.I put my elbows on my crouched knees and rested my forehead. As I lamented in frustration, Kang Suhyun quickly blurted out.

“Honestly, So-yeon must have been nervous too, I’m sure she was. She must have been joking and serious at the same time when she said something to your friend to ease the atmosphere. You know how people often joke like that. How can you be a decent person if you spend the night with Ga-hee and then ghost her?”

“Ghost her?”

“That’s ghosting. You ignored Ga-hee’s calls. You bad guy.”

“I really wasn’t anything with her. I didn’t have any feelings for her, I tell you?”

I put my forehead on my hand in frustration, feeling like I was about to burst. I tried to explain the truth as much as possible, but no one was willing to listen to me. Well, there was only Kang Suhyun anyway.

“Okay, okay. Let’s say that’s how it is, according to you. But then your friend, who had been quiet throughout the call, suddenly opened his mouth?”

“……What did he say?”

The hand that had been touching my forehead stopped abruptly. A restless feeling, as if a hole had been drilled in my chest, fanned my gloomy mood. Especially Kang Suhyun, who was nodding her head.

“‘What the hell are you talking about. Cunt.’”

“…….”

“……Blah blah.”

Ahem. Kang Suhyun, who had been clearing her throat while watching my reaction, carefully continued.

“According to So-yeon……. Th…… your friend has a very…… rough mouth, she said.”

This time, a sigh came out for a different reason. But funnily enough, the frustration that had been squeezing above my solar plexus had mostly disappeared. I let out a hollow laugh.

“……But is that why you’re avoiding Go Yohan? Why is Go Yohan here?”

Moreover, my heart, which had been filled with emptiness and jealousy, was writhing with inexplicable emotions as I recalled Go Yohan, who had done something crazy again. It felt like I was scrubbing somewhere in my chest with a smooth cloth. Perhaps, if I looked in the mirror, there would be nothing as hideous as my eyes. Seeing me wanting to hear about someone else’s psycho behavior, filled with trashy expectations.

“Well, So-yeon said she lost all affection for your friend after that.”

“Re, really?”

I was so excited at that moment that I made a metallic sound from my throat. In addition, the posture I had been crouching in collapsed. Before I knew it, I was sitting with one knee on the floor. Kang Jun, who must have been making a strange face as he forcibly lowered the corners of his mouth that kept trying to rise.

I quickly came to my senses and pressed my cheek with my palm.

Damn it. Kang Suhyun must have seen my face, which had been writhing with joy. I despaired at my mistake again and managed my expression late. Damn it. As I cursed inwardly, Kang Suhyun gently tapped my calf with an awkward expression.

“Why are you so sorry? It’s not like you did anything.”

Was my expression that of a sorry person? Anyway, thinking it was fortunate, I opened my mouth.

“No, actually…… I think he had something to be angry about yesterday. I’ll apologize on his behalf.”

“Really? Did something like that happen?”

However, my excuse seemed to give Kang Suhyun strange hope.

“Ah, that’s really a relief. I thought he was angry because of me.”

“……Why? What’s wrong?”

“No, So-yeon must have said my name in a panic back then. She said that I said you and Ga-hee were flirting in front of the bathroom a few days ago, that it felt like you were about to start dating……. That, ugh.”

Her mouth is her problem. Kang Suhyun tapped her mouth as if she was wronged.

“Your friend said, ‘Where is that bastard? I’m going to kill him!’”

“This is driving me crazy, really.”

“About two or three hours ago, So-yeon called me, flailing wildly. Ah, I heard these words back then. Anyway, your friend doesn’t think you’re the type to ignore people’s calls like that, and he might have been angry as a friend, but I saw it myself, so I can explain it. I was going to call you and.”

Thump*. The sound of the classroom door closing came from somewhere. Kang Suhyun and I froze like ice at the same time. In the darkness, we made eye contact without saying a word. I didn’t need to be nervous, but for some reason, the back of my neck felt cold, and I was drawn into it. Kang Suhyun, who had stopped talking abruptly, asked in a trembling voice, very softly.

“Is, is that your friend?”

My vision had become brighter because I had been in the darkness for quite a while. I slightly raised my body and focused on the sound I heard next. No sound could be heard.

“No, I think another classroom door closed because of the wind.”

“Ugh…….”

Kang Suhyun, who had been stiff and frightened, was relieved.

“I thought I should calm So-yeon down and get your number, but there was no need.”

As if recalling the memory of that time. The face that had been crammed into the cabinet was filled with fear. Kang Suhyun, who was rubbing the goosebumps on her arm with her hand, continued in a trembling voice.

“As soon as I hung up with So-yeon, I got a call right away…….”

The trembling was so intense that I could feel it. Even when Kang Suhyun said to herself, “But how did he know my number? We’ve never exchanged it, and we’ve never contacted each other separately,” I was deeply assimilated into the tension. The fingers that had been touching the ground were damp.

Could it be that he took it from my phone in advance? When on earth?

“It was an unknown number, but I thought, ah, this must be your friend. I don’t know why. When I answered the phone, he asked me where I was. But his tone was really kind back then? Well, he wasn’t angry.”

“…….”

“So I just told him. I said I was doing homework at school. So he said he’d wait.”

Regret was evident in her wide eyes. The events that would happen after that were obvious even without hearing them. However, I didn’t want to hear them, but Kang Suhyun blurted out first.

“I said okay and was waiting while doing homework, right? I had something to ask too. No, he had said something a little harsh to So-yeon’s joke. So, I was going to say something too. I had to tell him to apologize. But…… I was doing homework for a long time…… after a while…… just when I was wondering when he would come, suddenly, I felt a cold presence behind me…….”

As I listened to Kang Suhyun’s words, I tried to raise my body, setting up my knees. I was going to look around because of the tension.

“Where are you going?”

However, Kang Suhyun seemed very uneasy about me moving. Kang Suhyun, who was moving her body so much that the cabinet with empty materials rattled, hurriedly called me.

“I’m just going to check outside for a moment.”

“Are you going to chase him away if he’s there?”

A strange hope was felt in her excited voice. It felt subtly coercive. I don’t know what Go Yohan had done to her to scare her, but it was clear that she was very surprised. Well, I also thought he was out of his mind when I first saw Go Yohan.

“I’ll take care of it myself.”

“Could I survive if you helped me?”

“I don’t know.”

I said it sincerely. But at my words, Kang Suhyun froze palely. Only the faint hope that could be seen barely bloomed and chased after me.

“Why? You guys seem to be very close friends. Wouldn’t I be able to survive if you defended me?”

At those words, I scratched my head. Close friends? I had been arrogant enough to think I could control Go Yohan about a year ago. Unfortunately, I failed. Suddenly, I thought of Go Yohan in his teens. Thinking of that uncontrollable time, I laughed lightly.

“Go Yohan’s nickname in high school.”

My lips were dry because I was so heated. I swallowed the saliva that wouldn’t go down well and opened my mouth.

“Was a fanatic.”

“A fanatic?”

“Crazy, moron, psycho.”

I added.

“I’ve never succeeded in stopping Go Yohan. He’s really someone I can’t do anything about.”

“…….”

“Beg for his leniency. Still, he was once a devout Catholic.”

“Catholic, don’t tell me that church. Are you talking about that holy church? Hallelujah?”

Kang Suhyun asked as if she couldn’t believe it, but I had no choice but to betray her expectations. Because that was the truth. Actually, I couldn’t believe it at first either.

“Yeah, that one.”

Then I suddenly had a strange thought on my own. Wait a minute.

……But can I say that Go Yohan doesn’t have a religion now? According to him, my religion is me now.

No, am I crazy. What am I talking about. I shook my head on my own. I also hit my neck as a sign to come to my senses. Without taking my hand off my neck, I slightly raised my head and looked at Kang Suhyun.

“He’s a Catholic……?”

Kang Suhyun’s question didn’t last long. Because the sound of a door slamming shut nearby was heard. Kang Suhyun closed her mouth again as if she was having a seizure. And because she was stabbing me with her eyes, I sighed and tensed my body. I was about to get up, putting one knee on the floor and bending and raising the other knee, but this time something was different.

“…….”

“…….”

The sound of footsteps was heard in the dark hallway. Very slowly, it was the sound of walking while examining something.

I turned my head and looked at Kang Suhyun. Kang Suhyun had stretched out one of the hands that had been covering her mouth and grabbed the cabinet door. And she closed the door while still making eye contact with me.

“Ah, this is driving me crazy.”

I shook my head and touched the ground. If the classroom door I had entered hadn’t been opened, I would have gotten up from my seat.

“…….”

The sound of the hinges meshing together cut through the darkness. The creaking sound scratched the floor and rushed towards me. The small light that had been turned on in the hallway entered through the opened door, then faded as the door closed.

My eyes, already accustomed to the darkness, immediately recognized who the figure that had entered was. It was Go Yohan.

Go Yohan lightly looked around the inside of the classroom as if he was doing some shopping, then frowned. One eyebrow goes up and down again. Now that I think about it suddenly. Go Yohan’s pupils are smaller than others. So his pupils are also small, so wouldn’t it be very uncomfortable in the dark? I had a useless thought.

“Suhyun-ah-?”

It was a very affectionate voice. It’s a voice I know, but it’s not a tone I know.

“Suhyun-ah, where are you?”

The sound of footsteps approaching while tapping the desk in front of him with his fingertips was vivid. It’s not like I did anything wrong, but my whole body stiffened. Suddenly, I thought of high school. The memory of that time grabbed my ankles and blocked my mouth. The wrist that must have been completely healed by now ached.

“I’ve been looking for you so much.”

The footsteps that had been approaching quickly stopped when they discovered the presence in front of them. Then he made a sound of “Ah.” and smiled brightly, revealing his teeth. Go Yohan pressed down hard on the edge of the desk that his index finger and thumb were holding.

“Soo-hyun?”

A gentle brutality emanated from Go Yohan’s smile. I raised my body, which moved as stiffly as a doll with frozen joints. It felt like it would definitely creak. I, who had been suspiciously sitting at the very back of the lecture hall, near the cabinet, twisted my clogged throat and made a sound.

“……No, it’s me.”

And at that moment, the autumnal, frosty atmosphere that had been crawling on the floor in the darkness melted away in an instant. It was as quick as the vapor of dry ice being sucked away by the wind. I was rather taken aback. The hallucination that the invisible atmosphere was visible disappeared. Go Yohan, who was in the middle of it, rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, squinted at me, and then smiled brightly.

“Jun?”

The gloomy smile from before disappeared in an instant. It was such a change that I was all flustered.

“Why are you here?”

I brought my toes together, avoided Go Yohan’s gaze, and added words as if making excuses.

“Well, because of Kang Suhyun.”

“Why?”

“……I have something to say.”

“……What is it?”

Go Yohan’s index finger scratched the lecture hall desk, the edge of which was peeling off. Scratch, scratch. I could hear the sound of fragments of the old plywood flying off. I spoke in a scolding tone, trying not to be too awkward.

“You keep thinking that Ga-hee and I are doing something.”

And I clicked my tongue and added. I glanced at the cabinet side and spat out the words as if resenting it. Still, it would be better for Kang Suhyun if I told him this way.

“You’re just having delusions because you’re drunk.”

“Really?”

I heard the sound of a candy bouncing off the floor. That was how Go Yohan was feeling. The surface melted, and a sweet lump of sugar fell to the floor, leaving a thick, sticky liquid on my feet. I stared silently at my toes. It felt like Go Yohan had just grabbed my foot.

“I heard you keep saying strange things to that So-yeon girl, so I was going to tell you not to.”

“Ah, I see.”

“I called, but you didn’t answer. I remembered you saying you were staying up all night for a project, so I came…….”

“Yeah.”

“……She’s not here.”

Silence flows. I was also silent. Go Yohan scratched the back of his head with his fingers and said quietly.

“I thought that bastard was spreading rumors and calling you to use you as a shield.”

“…….”

I was speechless because it was so accurate. I guess I’ve stopped him enough at this point. I took a small step, thinking I should take Go Yohan with me first. I raised my hand and reached near Go Yohan’s arm, then hesitated a little. The tips of my fingers twitched with tension. I steeled my heart and reached out to weakly grab Go Yohan’s arm.

“Let’s go back.”

“But, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

However, Go Yohan, who was not moving as I pushed him, stopped abruptly. His long finger turned and pointed in the direction of the cabinet. His mouth was smiling as if he was very interested,

“Who’s in there?”

he asked.

Kang Suhyun had to beg and beg Go Yohan while his nape was grabbed. He didn’t seem to understand at all why he had to apologize—Kang Suhyun was guessing that the reason Go Yohan was angry was purely because he had misinterpreted me.—but no matter what experience he had, he must have had a terribly scary experience that he had to rub his hands together.

“So-yeon……ah. We……ah……must……have……a serious……misunderstanding…….”

He tapped the screen, which was not even a hand span wide, with his unusually toad-like hand. He kept looking at me, checking my reaction while writing the text as Go Yohan told him to, which looked a bit pitiful. Even the sight of him showing me the text he sent with a servile smile was a sight I couldn’t bear to watch.

“Yohan’s friend. I have tried to work for the honor of your friend.”

“Shut your mouth until I read it all.”

“Yes.”

Kang Suhyun became docile, pronouncing it closer to ‘Yep’. Go Yohan sat on the lecture hall table with his legs crossed and raised the screen to check the contents. Kang Suhyun, who was only docile in body and chattering in mouth, was once again embarrassed and made a weak resistance, saying, “Ah, that’s privacy……,” but he quickly closed his mouth when he met Go Yohan’s unique emotionless gaze.

Kang Suhyun, who was watching my reaction, gently turned his neck and looked at me with a pitiful look.

“You really didn’t have any feelings for Ga-hee……?”

I didn’t, I tell you. There was no time to say that. It was because Go Yohan grabbed Kang Suhyun’s head with one hand in an instant. The hair that stuck out like weeds between Go Yohan’s left hand was precarious, as if it would be pulled out at any moment.

“Do you want to die?”

“Ah, ouch……! Ouch, ouch! I, I’m sorry. I apologize. I apologize.”

I sat on the lecture hall chair and recalled the scene from the taxi. What’s the difference between when he’s drunk and when he’s not? What am I supposed to do with this? Go Yohan raised the screen and read the conversation between Park So-yeon and Kang Suhyun, and his brow furrowed more and more. I finally decided what I had to do.

“It’s okay. You can misunderstand.”

At least Kang Suhyun is a burden I have to carry for a semester. Well, we’re in different departments, so there’s almost no chance we’ll meet after that. Isn’t the world one where rumors are so important? Besides, my nature doesn’t change easily even if I try to change it. I tried to make a kind face and gently grabbed Kang Suhyun’s head and Go Yohan’s hand.

“I was a little angry, but you were drunk.”

I shouldn’t make unnecessary enemies. Isn’t that my life motto?

“Jun-ah……!”

However, I don’t know if this mechanical engineering student is clueless or innocent. He believed my words and was moved. I was so dumbfounded that I was trying to pretend to be nice with sinister intentions.

“I’m sorry for insulting you, calling you a playboy and a bad guy. It was my fault!”

I’m the bad guy. Me. I misunderstood you. Misunderstood. Kang Suhyun banged his head with his own hands in a strange rhythm. Of course, it was stopped by Go Yohan in just two beats.

“If you keep hitting your head like that, your head will be smashed before summer comes, sooner than a watermelon.”

“…….”

Kang Suhyun was discouraged again. I sighed and grabbed Go Yohan’s wrist. I gently tapped Go Yohan’s wrist with my index finger. Then Go Yohan’s hand trembled slightly, and he carefully lifted his face, which had been buried in the screen all along.

“……Why?”

“Stop it. Now.”

As I spoke, I turned my head in the direction where Kang Suhyun couldn’t see and said with my lips. ‘I’m the one who has to do projects and take classes with this bastard for a semester. You son of a bitch.’ At those words, Go Yohan slowly blinked his eyelids and released the hair he had been holding tightly. When Kang Suhyun groped his head in gratitude, Go Yohan also said with his lips.

‘Then, next semester.’

Next semester is fine.

I nodded readily. Whether Kang Suhyun was sniffling behind me or not.

“Thank you, Jun-ah.”

“Well, it’s nothing.”

So don’t act up. You bastard. Although he has never been angry with me since graduating from high school, judging from my memories of high school, I really can’t do anything about it. You son of a bitch. Honestly, I wasn’t relieved, so I cursed him with my invisible mouth.

“Let’s not make this mistake again next time.”

My hand patted his shoulder gently, though. Honestly, Kang Suhyun, who had every right to feel wronged, looked at me and vigorously nodded his head, then wiped his nose with his sleeve and rummaged around to find a chair to sit on nearby.

“But, do you know that?”

At Kang Suhyun’s sudden words in a nasal voice, Go Yohan and I turned our gazes. I was the one who opened my mouth first.

“Know what?”

“You always have a habit of tapping twice with your finger or pen when you’re about to say something important.”

“Oh, Jun-i always does that.”

However, it was Go Yohan who answered. Go Yohan, who seemed to have lost interest in his phone and put it down on the desk, glared sharply at Kang Suhyun.

“I know too, Jun-i always taps something when he’s thinking alone. It’s his habit.”

He spoke quickly, as if not even giving Kang Suhyun a chance to speak. It’s a strange thing. He seems to be in a worse mood now than when he was involved with that Ga-hee girl.

“Don’t suddenly pretend to know something and act friendly with something that’s not a big deal.”

“Ah, yeah……. Then, of course. It wasn’t a big deal. I…….”

Kang Suhyun looked at me and pouted his lips like a duck. And he’s looking at me with pitiful eyes again. I avoided that burdensome gaze. And only I was panicking as I looked at my fingers. Did I have such a habit? I didn’t even know. No, no one around me noticed and said anything first.

“Yohan’s friend, if you’ve finished reading, can I take my phone?”

“Wait. Let me send one more thing.”

Go Yohan answered clearly. Then he picked up the phone he had put down, typed something, sent it, and returned it to Kang Suhyun.

“Done.”

“Hehe……. Then I’ll take it. Yohan’s friend.”

Kang Suhyun, who received the phone with a servile smile, quickly looked at the screen, stared blankly at the screen with a momentarily shaking gaze, and then looked at me. With very pitiful eyes.

“What, why.”

I frowned and asked. However, Kang Suhyun looked at Go Yohan’s reaction, clicked his tongue lowly, and just turned off the phone.

“It’s private.”

“…….”

Damn it, Go Yohan is okay, but I’m not? Did I pretend to be nice for nothing? I should have left him to die. I had to close my mouth to cool down the heat rising from inside. I think I’m weak against guys who have no logic and aren’t normal.

On the way out, leaving Kang Suhyun behind, Go Yohan was full of complaints. Even on the way in the taxi, he only looked out the window with his cheeks puffed out. It doesn’t even show because his cheek fat is so thin. Honestly, it would be a lie if I said he wasn’t cute. I couldn’t stop laughing even though I felt Go Yohan’s actions were absurd. On the contrary, I had to try hard to hide my laughter.

After getting out of the taxi and getting on the elevator, I finally reached out my hand first when I saw Go Yohan leaning against the wall without saying a word and sticking out his duck lips.

“Are you sulking because of what Kang Suhyun said?”

The voice that came out was so sweet that I was embarrassed. Today, I seemed to be in a better mood than I thought. I was so depressed a while ago. It’s like riding a roller coaster. Go Yohan, who was now openly showing that he was sulking for me to see, tapped the floor with his toes.

“It’s outrageous.”

“What is. Just because he spread a rumor?”

“Just a rumor? Didn’t you notice?”

Ah, shit-. Go Yohan, who cursed lowly, scratched his neck roughly and said.

“That bastard is using you and that girl to submit a Sex Plan Report as data. Shit.”

“I kept saying it wasn’t true.”

“The important thing isn’t you, but that bastard imagined you.”

Go Yohan, who crossed his arms and leaned his back against the wall again, frowned. His eyebrows twitched, and Go Yohan, who was silently cursing in the air, suddenly stood up straight and got annoyed.

“No, he imagined you? Shit, that son of a bitch…….”

Go Yohan, who leaned his back against the wall again and banged his head against it, muttered quietly.

“Romantic my ass, shit. He’s a pervert who makes sex plans with a male teammate.”

I realized it with those words. As expected, Go Yohan is quick-witted. He read the desire that even Kang Suhyun didn’t know in the short time he read the report plan.

“He used you as a stand-in. He’s trying to imagine vicariously by projecting you, because he can’t do it himself.”

The elevator door opened. I quietly pressed the open button and gestured outward with my chin. Go Yohan, who glanced at my actions, frowned and straightened his back. Then he passed me with a slightly stronger step. As he passed, he scanned me and shook his bangs.

Go Yohan came out of the elevator and didn’t even think about opening the door. He just stood with his hands on his hips, waiting for me with his legs slightly apart. Looking at his back, I scratched weakly near my collarbone.

“Wasn’t that already common?”

“What.”

“Everyone did that when we were in high school. With Han Jun-woo and you.”

The lively mornings every Monday are still vivid. The eighteen-year-olds who gathered their desks and listened when Han Jun-woo appeared.

“What’s the reason for listening to the story of men’s genitals touching? Why would they cheer? Why would they listen to someone else’s sex? They all listen, get excited, and empathize.”

Strangely, my collarbone, neck, and ears are itchy. I continued to speak, rubbing my skin with my fingertips. Go Yohan was still showing only his back, boasting his long legs, with his hands on his hips.

“Everyone’s like that. You can’t live if you care about that stuff one by one and get stressed.”

Besides, what’s the reason why sex became a medal among the boys? Sex eventually leads to masculinity. It means acknowledging the masculinity of others. In that sense, the reason I was excluded from the cheers on Monday morning was because I was not suitable for their purpose. The eighteen-year-olds wanted Han Jun-woo and Go Yohan.

“I was a little embarrassed because it was the first time I’ve been through something like this. But it’s not a bad thing.”

I thought it wasn’t a big deal. And honestly, I didn’t feel too bad. The fact that you become someone’s admiration always elevates humans. I passed Go Yohan’s back and opened the door lock. I felt burdened by Go Yohan’s presence behind me every time I pressed the six-digit number.

“…….”

“…….”

When I pressed the last button with a hesitant hand, Go Yohan’s tone, which felt slightly crooked for some reason,

“I don’t think so.”

sounded like this. I turned around at the same time as I opened the door.

“What do you mean, not?”

Go Yohan wiggles his lips and looks at the floor, the wall, and the air, then scratches his ear. Then he slightly lifts his eyelids and looks at me. An uneasy feeling rushed in at that gaze. Perhaps, disaster will strike the moment Go Yohan opens his mouth.

First of all, this is not a suitable place for a disaster to occur. The wide-open hallway, where the automatic lights flicker on and off every time the body moves, is troublesome. Besides, every time you open your mouth, the sound collides with the floor and ceiling and spreads far away. Go Yohan is a bomb that cannot be placed in such a place.

Go Yohan, who pressed his wiggling lips slightly with his index finger, looks at my hand. I slowly turned the doorknob, intentionally avoiding Go Yohan’s gaze, and put my body between the door gaps.

“If you have nothing to say, I’m going in.”

I turned around with an awkward smile, but I heard the sound of quick footsteps approaching, and I felt heat right behind my back. Just as I was about to grab the inner doorknob to close the door, Go Yohan’s large left hand struck first. His long finger hooked on the ring, and the door closed.

“…….”

The posture was not good. I was stuck so close to Go Yohan that our chests were about to touch. It didn’t seem like Go Yohan intended the posture at all, but he didn’t avoid it either. The small light attached to the front door turned on. I looked up at Go Yohan until the light went out, and then I came to my senses the moment darkness came. I quickly took a step back and took off my shoes. I tried to act as if nothing had happened as much as possible. It was already too late, though. The situation happened when I took off my shoes and stepped into the house.

“Well, I don’t know if I should say this.”

“…….”

“I came all over you throughout high school.”

It was several seconds later that I understood those words. I reacted half a beat late. My neck bones stiffened so much that they made a sound. If it were a machine, it might have made a creaking sound. My mouth was trying to maintain a smile, but my eyes were already filled with shock.

“……Came all over what?”

“…….”

“…….”

Go Yohan’s face is getting more and more brazen. Where did the Go Yohan who was watching my reaction go, and with a face that was carefully choosing something, he subtly followed my gaze. The small pupils disappear and reappear due to the long eyelashes. Then he smiled brightly as if he had a good idea.

“Ejaculate.”

…….

The lights that had turned on because I was moving turned off again. Go Yohan, who heard my silence, made a face in the dim darkness that showed ‘This wasn’t it.’ Then he becomes serious again. His brow narrows, and after thinking for a short time, he finally opens his mouth again.

“……Semen……?”

“…….”

I tried to speak after some deliberation, but the content became even more vulgar. I can at least commend him for hesitating quite a bit before speaking, as if he himself didn’t think it was right. Seeing my expression, Go Yohan, who was once again rolling his eyes around with a serious look, stopped abruptly. Just as he was about to open his mouth, I shook my head.

“Protein…”

“No, don’t say it. Please stop, just stop there.”

I spat out the words like a machine gun. Even the end of my voice trembled. My facial muscles ached as if they were paralyzed. If I looked in a mirror, there might be a beet there. In the meantime, Go Yohan complained about my reaction. He seemed to think I was upset.

“It’s not like that every day.”

“……”

“It’s just… there are days when I’m especially horny. Just a little then.”

Even as he said that, Go Yohan’s large hand mimed holding something, moved back and forth a few times near his Penis, and then lightly flicked his wrist, opening his fingers.

“No, not a little, but quite a lot.”

The face that had been smiling leisurely gradually hardened. The act of surreptitiously pressing and stroking his left thigh with his open fingers was extremely lewd.

“I did.”

“……Crazy.”

What’s crazy is that I looked up, saw the fingers pressing on his left thigh, heard the groans as if he was holding something back, saw the face biting his lip, and my Penis got hard. The center, fixed downwards, gained heat and gradually moved inside. The wet tip turned red, pressing against the smooth fabric, and the sensation of rising was felt directly.

The tightly clinging underwear made the bent center feel painfully pressed. My mind became hazy. I was also anxious, thinking that I would be caught if I stayed here any longer. I hurriedly turned around and opened the door to the nearest bathroom.

I didn’t have the余裕to look at Go Yohan’s expression. As I locked the closed door, I just made excuses.

“Get your head straight while I go wash up.”

I’m the one who really needs to get my head straight. Besides, this isn’t even the bathroom I use, it’s exclusively for Go Yohan. The way I just went in and shouted as if it were my own room. How pathetic. So pathetic. Fortunately, I didn’t hear any noise from the other side.

I slammed my forehead against the door and let my weakened legs collapse.

“……”

I put both hands between my kneeling legs and bent my back deeply. I couldn’t even touch it with my hands, but I just put my palms close. My slipped forehead fell to the floor along with my back. Not even caring that my hair was disheveled, I teared up in shame and recalled old memories.

“I’m the one who’s really crazy.”

There’s a reason why I can’t bring myself to say anything to Go Yohan, and there’s a reason why I’ve been acting more sensitive than usual. I’ve used Go Yohan as a side dish too. Why does the sticky, damp tissue soaked with viscous fluid have to come to mind at a time like this? Damn it.

“……Haa.”

I sighed and took my hands out from between my legs.

I placed my hands on the cold floor and repeatedly took long breaths, inhaling and exhaling. As my forehead rubbed against the hard door, my cooled body cooled down the hot center. After swaying like that for a while, I finally calmed down and raised my trembling legs.

“……I should wash my face first.”

I steadied my dizzy head and stood in front of the sink. In the mirror in front of me was a guy with red cheeks and cheekbones.

“Damn it.”

I hated seeing that, so I turned on the tap, filled my hands with cold water, and splashed it all over my face. As if trying to erase the buried heat. After pouring water on my face until I could barely breathe, I looked at my completely soaked face again. On the contrary, my face, covered with water droplets, became even redder from the friction. Damn it, I frowned and stood there in despair.

I swept my wet bangs back and walked a few steps back, slamming the back of my head against the full-length mirror opposite the sink.

I’m really out of my mind.

I raised my hand and wiped the water dripping from under my chin. Then I suddenly realized. Why did I come here? I should have gone to my parents’ house. My mind was in chaos. I rummaged through my pockets and took out my phone, but there were no messages. I let out a sigh of relief and let my arms hang down.

“Hoo.”

I exhaled the stuffiness caught in my chest. I guess this is enough. I’ve calmed down a lot, and I’m in a state where I can act quite shamelessly. I wiped the undried water off with the back of my hand and headed for the door. I grabbed the doorknob, swallowed once, and turned it. The lock was released. Ah, I locked the door when I came in. As I thought that and continued to turn the doorknob, I felt the doorknob being turned sharply from the other side.

“Huh?”

Surprised by the suddenly twisted wrist, I raised my head,

“……”

Go Yohan was standing right in front of the door like a wall. He raised his hand and grabbed the door frame, as if he had been standing there waiting for me to come out the whole time I was in here. His eyes, looking down at me with an unknown darkness, were indescribably still.

That’s right. Go Yohan had no intention of getting his head straight in the first place.

“Go, Go Yohan… Ugh!”

Go Yohan’s hand moved quickly and grabbed both of my arms. With both arms raised, I blankly accepted the approaching lips. The sound of smacking was even louder on my already wet lips.

As expected, Go Yohan bit my lips with his own again this time. Sometimes he lightly bit and pulled at my lips with his teeth. In the meantime, his right hand slipped down without properly holding me, but soon crawled back up and gripped me stiffly. The moment I felt that sensation, I couldn’t even struggle and had to let him hold me.

Feeling that my body had become still, Go Yohan tilted his head and invaded deeper. He pressed my flesh with his lips, bit it with his teeth, and licked his tongue up my upper lip. The sound of water friction was so loud that it made my back ache. The hand that had been gripping my arm gradually went down my chest and back, reaching my waist.

“……!”

I hurriedly made a sound and turned my hand back to stop Go Yohan, but my cry only went to Go Yohan’s neck, and the hand that had been caught by me went down like a bulldozer without caring, following the curve of my buttocks and heading deeper.

“Go, Go Yohan…! Mmph!”

A long finger went down the groove between my buttocks and pressed deeply between them. His palm gripped my buttocks tightly and pushed them up. My heels were raised along with it. My head was consumed by panic. I widened my eyes and desperately pushed against Go Yohan’s shoulder, but it was useless.

I couldn’t even shout anything. Go Yohan was pressing his lips against mine with his eyes closed. I was struggling just to hold my breath and breathe through the gaps. My eyes stung from the blocked breathing. His mouth was blocking me, and his hand…

“Wait, wait a minute…”

“……It’s your fault.”

Go Yohan, who had briefly parted his lips, slightly lifted his eyelids. As expected, Go Yohan, who was clumsy at kissing, seemed to be out of breath. The intertwined eyelashes were so close that I could see them falling. A light iris floated between the thin, long eyelashes.

“This is all because of you.”

Why is this because of me? Just as I was about to shout in frustration, Go Yohan put his whole hand between my legs and lifted my thigh.

“Don’t, don’t do it! I’m going to fall.”

“You’re just… so damn horny.”

The hand that came in like a rake scraped up the flesh inside my thigh. I, who had barely been standing on tiptoe, had to spread my legs involuntarily. This crazy, stupidly strong bastard. I teared up in fear and raised my hands to cling to Go Yohan’s neck. It was obvious that I would fall down if I resisted.

And Go Yohan, who lifted me up stupidly, slammed me into the sink.

I had to take a strange position with my butt stuck in the sink. It was a dangerous position where I felt like I was going to fall at any moment because there was no support. Even my pants were soaked with water.

“Go Yohan, I’m really going to fall. The sink will break.”

“If it’s this big, it can handle your weight. Don’t struggle.”

It wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t lifted me up in the first place. The protest was eaten by Go Yohan’s mouth again. I was struggling with my butt stuck in the already narrow pit, and Go Yohan easily unzipped my pants. The wet clothes were clinging to my body, but he pulled them forcibly. My butt and thigh flesh were scraped painfully. The stiff fabric clung to me, scraping my flesh as it went down, and finally fell to the floor.

Fuck. I bit my lip and lowered my head.

I ended up seeing the sight of only my upper body properly dressed and my bare legs dangling outside the sink reflected in the mirror in front of me.

“Please, really let me down.”

Tears welled up in my eyes from the shame. But Go Yohan, who was pressing his lips to my forehead and breathing roughly, just grabbed my chin and lifted it up to bite my mouth again. With my neck bent back, I accepted Go Yohan, with the faucet poking my back and no place to grab, so I desperately clung to Go Yohan’s clothes or something.

“After I’m done.”

“……”

“I’ll let you down in a bit.”

Go Yohan, who was saying that while looking intently at my lips without even looking at my eyes, put his palm on the mirror. Go Yohan’s body pushed me even closer. The mirror fogged up following the shape of Go Yohan’s hand.

The remaining hand went down my stomach, barely passing by my Penis. At that moment, I tensed my waist and stiffened my body. However, this damn finger went down deeper. Passing the thin skin that I touched when I masturbated, the finger that had never even touched the place that I had never touched groped violently between the tightly closed flesh.

“Fuck, it’s so tight.”

“Hey, take it out. Take it out, you bastard. Why are you going there…”

I struggled to move my left hand and put it on the mirror behind me, and pushed Go Yohan’s right arm with my remaining arm. But Go Yohan, who didn’t budge, came in even deeper and scraped the tender skin.

“You’re really… Why is even this place so smooth?”

While pushing Go Yohan’s arm with all my might, I frowned and rolled my lips into my mouth. It was all useless, though. The thumb that firmly fixed the bottom of my butt, and the index finger that freely poked around, were driving me crazy, but the remaining three fingers that were clumsily pressed and didn’t move in vain were driving me even crazier. Go Yohan tilted his head and tried to find my lips to kiss, but I desperately hid my lips.

“This much is okay, right? Huh? Let me make your lips red.”

“Get lost… Please…!”

“Jun-ah, it’s not like I’m going to put it in.”

Go Yohan said slowly. But his breath contained anxiety. I struggled to turn my head and avoided Go Yohan’s kiss.

“……”

“……Jun-ah.”

Go Yohan’s lips rubbed against the area below my ear. The hot sensation touched the tender flesh and smeared it. As if he was sorry that his lips had touched, he came up my cheek, but I put more strength into my arm and pushed him away forcefully. The hot sensation barely and weakly fell off my cheek.

“What’s wrong.”

“Don’t, do it.”

There are times when people feel a premonition for no reason. Like that day when I expected Go Yohan to harass me. Today’s me, or rather the me from just now, felt it.

Go Yohan is going to put it in today.

I needed time to understand the future that would befall me. I needed time to accept it. The arm that had done its best to buy time was trembling to the point of cramping. Blue veins rose on the back of the hand that was holding Go Yohan’s arm. If I wanted to stop Go Yohan, I had to struggle. Go Yohan, who had barely stopped, leaned in deeper to avoid being pushed back. Each other’s strength felt tense. Go Yohan’s neck, which was stretched out to kiss, revealed a tender line. Unfortunately, because I was grabbing and pulling his clothes, Go Yohan’s flesh was completely exposed from the stretched neck of his t-shirt.

“Ugh…”

I was pushing him away with all my might, but Go Yohan was only looking at my lips and body and leaning in. Thin eyelids that were slightly lifted formed a faint double eyelid. Go Yohan’s eyes are double eyelids inside, but when he’s tired or lifts his eyelids, a thin line appears above his eyelids like this. At those times, the light color of his pupils feels particularly lighter. I was reflected in them. A miserable me, trembling with excitement. Go Yohan, who had slightly raised his head, forcibly made eye contact with me.

“……Please, huh?”

Don’t be fooled. He’s going to put it in. He’s definitely going to put it in today. Go Yohan’s languid eyes told me. He’s going to spread it, poke it, and cram in that unbelievably large size that he’s been saying every day until I’m right before death. The moment our eyes met, I inhaled and pushed even harder.

“Ah!”

Unfortunately, I put too much force into it and my muscles relaxed. I pushed while straightening my bent elbow again, but Go Yohan had already come close. Desperate to grab anything with my slipped hand, I grabbed and pulled the clothes that I barely managed to grab like crazy. The neck of the shirt stretched as if it would tear.

“Jun-ah.”

Hot breath touched my skin, making my whole body tremble. It was because I felt the trembling of Go Yohan, who was trying to kiss the head that I had forcibly turned. Go Yohan, who had come in a hand’s breadth closer, raised the hand that he had deeply inserted and grabbed my miserably exposed center in one go.

“Ah, ugh!”

My head exploded.

“Ugh!”

A short groan burst out from between my tightly closed teeth. The embarrassing sound filled the small, hot space. In response, I reflexively raised the hand that had been supporting my back and covered my mouth. It was a mistake. Since there was no arm to support my body, I was pushed back as it was and trapped inside the wall that was Go Yohan. Rather, Go Yohan’s clothes, which I had grabbed to push him away, became my safety device.

“Jun-ah, if you pretend you don’t like it when you like it this much, I’ll get hurt.”

Moist lips stuck to my cheek and smiled roughly. Then he flicked my erect Penis as if to taunt it. A nasal sound leaked out from between his closed lips, and the heat in my eyes burst out uncontrollably.

With my hands covering my own mouth, I struggled to lower my gaze and looked down. My already red Penis was throbbing, dripping clear water below my navel. The clear, non-sticky liquid that had been flowing was pooling in my navel, and when it overflowed, it dripped down my waist and under the sink.

“When you get excited…”

Three stiff fingers. He must have thought that he couldn’t do anything with those hands. Go Yohan frowned, then sparkled with interest at my reaction. Now he raised his gaze to look at my face and began to torment the red tip.

“Jun-ah, are you going to go?”

Like I’d tell you that. You bastard. I desperately shook my head. Go Yohan imitated my head shaking, then let out a regretful sigh.

“Then should I suck it like before?”

I shook my head even harder. I shook it so hard that my head hit the mirror I was leaning on. But I didn’t even feel the pain. Go Yohan, who was steadily following my pathetic appearance, lowered his eyebrows and said with a strangely rough breath.

“My hands are useless, so I can’t do anything right. I’m sorry.”

The languid eyes looking down at me, the rough breath that kept obsessively following my lips, the rough heartbeat felt through the grabbed collar, and the extremely rough stimulation of the tip had already turned me into an irrational human being.

Go Yohan, who had been mercilessly squeezing the tip of my Penis with his thumb and index finger, suddenly pressed and pushed the end with his thumb as if he was widening the small hole. It was a truly unexpected moment.

“……!”

A metallic sound escaped through his blocked mouth. The ripples of pleasure converging on his center surged up his nerves in an instant. The fluid that had gathered in his lower abdomen became a taut balloon, trembling precariously, and then, the moment Go Yohan’s hard fingertip tapped his skin as if tearing it, the thin membrane burst.

Ah, ah, ah…….

His body trembled, and white Ejaculate fell with vibrations, pat, pat, pattering down. It soaked Go Yohan’s wrist and forearm, staining his clothes. His thoughts cleared. In the blurry vision filled with tears, Go Yohan looked alternately at his right hand and Jun’s twitching penis, which was dripping Ejaculate, as if in disbelief.

“Seriously, you came with just this?”

The way he asked, as if truly dumbfounded, made Jun feel like his mind was collapsing further. His face, reflected in the opposite mirror, was flushed red and pathetically soaked with tears, utterly filthy. He was on the verge of dying of shame, so he gave up on everything and covered his face with his forearm.

“Jun-ah, are you crying?”

“…Get out of my way.”

“You cry when you’re aroused. Even though you never cry normally, even when you look like you’re about to die from injustice.”

With his face covered by his forearm, Jun couldn’t see what kind of expression Go Yohan was making. But it was certain that Go Yohan was excited.

“Fuck, there’s not a single thing about you that isn’t hot. Kang Jun, who holds it in until the end but cries when he has sex.”

“……Please, just shut up.”

“Do you cry when you masturbate, too? Do you come crying then, too?”

“S, stop it…!”

He really wanted to die. How could he know that Jun cried when he was aroused? He had never come like this from pleasuring himself. What the fuck, what kind of fucked up reflex was this? He was also annoyed that his voice was full of tears when he spoke. So he clamped his mouth shut, and Go Yohan’s hand suddenly grabbed his waist.

The hand that firmly gripped his waist lifted his body in an instant, and his body, which had been flung forward, collided with Go Yohan’s chest. Go Yohan lifted Jun up, who was still struggling in the sink with only his buttocks stuck in it. Surprised, Jun grabbed Go Yohan’s shoulders.

“Hey, what are you doing…!”

“You told me to lift you up.”

Then, he craned his neck to look at the sink and muttered to himself.

“Wow, this is useful.”

Go Yohan pressed down on the sink with his hand as if he was amazed. Taking advantage of the gap, Jun stretched his feet down to the floor, but his body, which had lost its strength, couldn’t find a place to support itself and tilted. Just as he was about to scream, Go Yohan snatched him.

Chest to chest. The two heartbeats were intertwined, pounding erratically. Go Yohan still smelled of fabric softener, or maybe soap. The white T-shirt and Go Yohan’s scent made people flutter. Even if the neck was stretched out and mixed with air freshener, the charm didn’t diminish.

Go Yohan’s body temperature was high. Even though his face looked like the ground in the middle of winter, where fierce snow had fallen on the once-melted ground and frozen solid. At best, they were both 36.5 degrees Celsius, so why was Go Yohan so hot?

“……”

He put strength into his swaying legs and pressed his soles to the floor. Just as he was trying to move as naturally as possible and remove the hand that was wrapped around his back, Go Yohan raised his hand first and wiped Jun’s cheek.

“You’ve turned into a completely bloated dumpling.”

“Mind your own business.”

Jun pushed Go Yohan away, feeling annoyed out of embarrassment. Then, he suddenly realized. Without even having time to think, he put his hand on the cheek that Go Yohan had rubbed.

“……”

It was as expected. He took his hand away as it was, and when he turned his head, a white liquid with a fishy smell stretched from his cheek to his hand before snapping off. His mind went blank. What was even more blatant was between his thighs. He could feel the unpleasant liquid falling like beads.

“It’s a masterpiece, a spectacle.”

And Go Yohan was looking at Jun’s appearance with a proud face. Jun stood there dumbly, with Ejaculate smeared all over his face and rubbed into his palm. All sorts of insults rose from his navel to his vocal cords like slowly boiling water, but he endured it. Yes, it was disgusting, but he was the one who did it. It was his Ejaculate. He decided to fulfill his Moral obligation of responsibility.

“I’m going to wash up, so…”

However, he couldn’t hesitate to say each word as if he was crushing it. Looking at the traces he didn’t even want to hold in his hand and Go Yohan’s fishy smile as he grinned at him, Jun struggled to suppress the emotions that were surging up.

“…Please, get out.”

He was extremely embarrassed to be standing here with only his top on. But if he said any more than this, he felt like he would look even more pathetic, and if he bent over to pick up his pants, it seemed like an even more dangerous thing to do, so he didn’t know what to do. He just had to stand there confidently, pretending to be nonchalant.

But Go Yohan had never listened to Jun. One long finger slipped slightly below Jun’s navel, hooked the end of his T-shirt, and lifted it up, scratching his stomach.

At first, Jun didn’t even know what was happening. The face in front of him was so nonchalant. When his finger came up to his solar plexus, Jun hurriedly stepped back.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Jun-ah.”

Go Yohan’s gaze was still fixed on Jun’s lower body. His eyes, boasting slender lines, shone with interest. He could guarantee it. Those eyes had been half-gone since he entered the bathroom. Or maybe he hadn’t been in his right mind since the entrance.

“You’re hard again.”

“……”

“You’re healthy.”

…Fuck. Jun grabbed the hem of his clothes tightly and pulled down the T-shirt that was barely covering his lower body even more. His face was already flushed red. The full-length mirror across from him, which he had been deliberately ignoring, continued to reflect his shameful appearance. His hair was all wet, his face was covered in Ejaculate, and he was standing there with only a T-shirt on, his face flushed red. That was Kang Jun.

“Get out.”

He warned, putting a lot of strength into his teeth. The warning, which was to take a step back every time Go Yohan took a step closer, was pathetic, but he had to do it anyway. Because his anxiety had been shouting since a while ago. That Go Yohan would definitely cross the line.

He takes another step closer. Jun took another step back, but the width of the steps was different. The gaze of 4 a.m. The darkest gaze filled his vision at once. By the time he came to his senses, the world was already upside down. He couldn’t even struggle with his hands, which he couldn’t lift because he was pulling down his T-shirt.

“Go Yohan!”

He shouted, but it was useless. He didn’t budge even when he twisted his body and shook his legs. Enraged, Jun hit Go Yohan’s back.

He was a man, he was clearly a man. So he thought it wouldn’t be at least this bad. No matter how much of a monster Go Yohan was, who could instantly crush that muscle pig Kim Min-ho as if he were a child, he didn’t think so. As Go Yohan said, he was a little taller, but after all, his resistance had no impact at all. It was so absurd that he burst out laughing instead. After only letting out absurd laughter, he suddenly came to his senses and shouted.

“Let go, Go Yohan!”

Go Yohan didn’t answer. He just kicked open the bathroom door. When Go Yohan took a step, his shoulder, where the bones stood out particularly, touched his stomach as if to stab it. In fact, it was almost pressed against it. It was hard to breathe, and his posture was unstable. Damn it, Jun felt the blood rushing to his head and hurriedly grabbed Go Yohan’s shirt. First, he tried to straighten his back and escape.

“Damn it…”

He was clearly bigger than average. He gritted his teeth and grabbed his shirt. It was at that moment.

“……”

Go Yohan’s distorted back collided with his nose. And Jun’s struggles stopped in an instant.

Go Yohan hated taking off his clothes in front of Jun. He was extremely sensitive about showing his bare body. Who wouldn’t be, but Go Yohan was a little more extreme. Even when they first mixed bodies on the sofa, Go Yohan didn’t take off his clothes. Not his pants, not his clothes.

After several surgeries, it had regained its original shape, but his twisted, mosaic-like back was not skin that anyone would feel was beautiful. At least, not from an aesthetic point of view.

“Ah……”

He let go of the hand that was holding the T-shirt. He completely forgot that his body was being dragged along with his shoulder, to be used to satisfy Go Yohan’s lust. He just fell into the traces contained in his eyes. Just as he was about to carefully put his finger on the distorted skin, the world turned upside down again.

“……Ugh!”

But the place he fell was soft. When he raised his head to check, it was a familiar place.

Go Yohan’s bed.

He raised his head again and saw the protagonist above him, breathing heavily.

“Yo, Yohan-ah.”

“……”

It wasn’t a situation to be embarrassed about, like his T-shirt was pulled up and exposing parts he couldn’t show to others. Go Yohan lowered his head slightly and swallowed hard. Then, he grabbed his left thigh tightly with his hand as if trying to hold something back and groaned. Now, only returning to his wild instincts, Jun knew what was on the thigh that Go Yohan had been touching.

That bastard, he’s fixing it to the lower left.

Go Yohan raised his head and opened his mouth with half-loosened eyes. His slightly parted lips were plump, as if he had bitten them several times.

“I’m sorry.”

What? What? He didn’t even have time to ask the words he had to ask out of obligation. Because Go Yohan buried his head and bit hard between Jun’s neck and shoulder.

“Agh!”

“Ha, fuck……. Kang Jun……”

“It hurts, Yohan-ah. It hurts! Go Yohan!”

“Jun-ah, Jun……. Jun-ah.”

The lips that called out to him violated him, and the teeth stabbed him. It hurt so much that tears welled up in his eyes. The heat of the center that had gathered also cooled down coldly. The penis that had risen firmly and lifted his T-shirt instantly wilted and drooped. But Go Yohan didn’t stop.

“Ah! It hurts, it hurts. Please. It hurts!”

The strong suction sucked in the thin flesh. The flesh that had been sucked painfully was bitten until it was on the verge of tearing. It was as if he was trying to leave a mark, it was coercive. At the same time, Go Yohan’s hand went up from his thigh to his stomach, hooked his T-shirt on the back of his hand, and pushed it up. It was instantaneous. His flimsy T-shirt, which had been his only shield, came up to his neck and was just loose. If it hadn’t been caught between his arms, it would have been pulled over his head.

Breath that felt like it would burn him at any moment melted his neck hotly. Jun hurriedly reached out and grabbed Go Yohan’s hair. He grabbed the hair that had been grabbed at random with all his might, wanting to escape from the pain that was so painful. Silver threads stretched out long from Go Yohan’s mouth, whose head was bent back.

“Haa.”

The eyes that looked down at him with his head bent back were really Go Yohan that he had never seen before.

“……”

If he had to compare it to something, what would it be? Those eyes that he first encountered in the cafeteria. Those snake-like eyes. That was it.

“Sorry for hurting you.”

His pupils move slowly. The small pupils and light irises. Those gazes, moving just like a carnivore, gradually headed down. Then, a strange sensuality filled his face, which had been expressionless to the point of being scary. Go Yohan’s lips twisted up to one side. His face, which looked happier than he thought, slowly opened his mouth.

“Jun-ah, but why are you.”

“……”

“Why are you like this.”

That gaze was on his exposed chest. To be exact, it was talking about the part that was slightly erected, whether it was because of sexual excitement or because he was scared of being exposed without covering it. Fuck, Jun hurriedly grabbed his T-shirt and tried to pull it down, but because it was grabbed so tightly, it just hung down raggedly. It was just hanging on Go Yohan’s thumb and wouldn’t go down. He was about to die of frustration when he saw that, and Go Yohan licked his lips again and said.

“Don’t you usually look at your nipple color and thank your parents?”

“Why would I do that, you fucking bastard. I’ve never even seen it!”

“Why don’t you look?”

Suddenly, Go Yohan frowned and said seriously. As if he really didn’t understand.

“Why don’t you look at something this pretty? It’s a waste.”

Go Yohan was crazy. He was really crazy. Jun’s face flushed, and he only thought that if he had a brick in his hand right now, he would smash that head and break it.

“If it were me, I would have taken a picture and displayed it.”

It was even more infuriating because he was saying such things seriously. He couldn’t stand it anymore. At the same time as he thought that even if he died after this, he would kill him first and then die, his trembling fist clenched. Then, he really put all his strength into hitting the space between Go Yohan’s chest and collarbone.

“Keuh.”

As soon as he was hit, the body that had been lying on top of him collapsed. His right hand, which had been supporting his posture, also loosened, and with his left hand, which had been raising his clothes, he grabbed his chest that had been hit and fell on top of Jun, groaning. Jun was the one who was rather embarrassed.

“Go, Go Yohan?”

“Agh……. Ah, it hurts……”

He had heard that this was a vital spot, but was it really true? He looked alternately at his fist and Go Yohan’s head and was embarrassed. He felt like he had hit him too hard, so he was embarrassed and released the hair he had been holding tightly. He was about to release it and lift his head to check.

“……Euhk!”

A thick, hot lump of flesh touched the part of his chest that he had never touched in his life. The protruding bump was crushed by force, and Jun twisted his waist without realizing it at the feeling of being bounced. The hand that had been grabbing his chest had already come down and was holding his waist tightly. He could vaguely see the body raising only its shoulders with its head buried in his right chest. In the midst of his mind getting twisted.

He quickly put his hand between his chest and Go Yohan’s forehead and pushed. Another tense battle of nerves took place this time as well. The sound of licking and sucking the flesh with his head buried in it resounded explicitly.

“Go, Go Yohan. Please. Yohan-ah.”

Euh, Jun desperately swallowed the groan that was about to come out. There would be nothing more embarrassing than letting out a groan from his mouth. When he forced his neck, his face flushed again. Go Yohan’s head and his arm trembled. It was an even match. Until Go Yohan slightly bit the protruding bump with his teeth.

“Heut!”

All his strength was gone. His waist was lifted up and down on its own, and he scratched the blanket with his toes. A stuffy pressure gathered in the center that had died from the pain. The pleasure that couldn’t be suppressed by reason wriggled down his legs and bit even the remaining noble spirit.

So this was what it meant to have your mind paralyzed.

He thought that as he looked at the vision that was blurring with water.

He missed the timing then. The momentum suddenly tilted towards Go Yohan’s side. He felt his left leg being lifted for a moment, but soon he was just bending his back and gasping because of the storm that was raging again. He didn’t even know if this was a good feeling or a painful feeling.

Even in the midst of that, he was afraid that he would groan, so he blocked his mouth, but his strength was released and his fingers slipped. Several fingers brushed his cheek and scratched the traces of the liquid that had hardened on the outside. As the hot force sucked, bit, and bounced, he twisted the blanket with his toes accordingly. Even in the midst of being out of his mind, his last pride, wanting to maintain his reason, pushed Go Yohan to the side.

Finally, it was reason’s victory.

“Haa, haa……”

Go Yohan, who was breathing roughly as if he had been running, probably because he was suffocating, wiped his strangely swollen lips with the back of his hand. That talkative Go Yohan didn’t say anything. He was just quietly looking at the traces he had bitten. Jun was suffering from the saliva that he had left behind even though he had pushed Go Yohan away. Because the wind cooled the saliva and scratched the swollen bump sharply.

“You’re crying again.”

“……”

Go Yohan, who had been pushed to the side, said, covering his mouth with his arm.

“Should I do the other side, too?”

He put strength into his toes and twisted them, and pretended to be nonchalant and bluffed.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because it looks like yours is going to explode if you do any more.”

So at least he wasn’t the only one trembling like this. It was funny that he was saying such things with his lower body erect, but he thought it would be okay as long as he wasn’t caught. When Go Yohan turned his head to look at his lower body, he quickly grabbed his wrist. Go Yohan looked at his face, looked at his left thigh, and then continued.

“It’s okay. I already came once.”

“……”

Only then did he see the traces that were darkly wet in the darkness. Around the middle of Go Yohan’s thigh.

“I got hard again while sucking yours, though.”

“……Are you crazy. Really.”

Apparently, the rumors at school were true. Go Yohan is a monster. They said if it’s really big, you can’t tell when it’s hard. And here’s the way to confirm that truth. Even as I scoffed in disbelief, my body trembled with the subtle waves of pleasure washing over me again.

“It’s okay. You’re not exactly small either.”

“……Hey.”

“Yeah?”

I called out, then swallowed my words again. In that short time, my head spun so much; it was the first time I almost got carsick from thinking. With tense fingertips, I scratched at the blanket. The soft texture dragged along my thin skin. I swallowed my resolve.

“You really.”

But it didn’t come out right. I inhaled air, grabbed the blanket again, squeezed my eyes shut, and opened them. I expected it, I felt it. It was too late to change the course of my life. We’d already done pseudo-sex. There wouldn’t even be a track to switch to. I had been prepared for this day to come. So I expected Go Yohan to go all the way today.

I had already made up my mind while looking at Go Yohan’s back. Yohan doesn’t know, but the real pervert is me.

“……Go Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

A faint, throat-clearing answer came. That was proof that Go Yohan was excited. I moistened my dry lips.

“Are you going to do it?”

“…….”

No answer. He said he wouldn’t put it in, didn’t he? Damn it. I bit my lip and relaxed my body. Having seen Go Yohan’s back, I couldn’t help but be weak to him. I clenched and unclenched the blanket, opening my mouth slightly.

“If you’re going to, then take it off.”

But the beautiful, melancholic face twisted.

“No.”

“Why.”

“…….”

“……Are you embarrassed?”

The sound of the blanket scraping against his body. Go Yohan raised one eyebrow and also sat up. Kneeling on the blanket, Go Yohan avoided my eyes. His face was clearly uncomfortable. I persistently chased his gaze that avoided me. Perhaps feeling that, Go Yohan lowered his head this time.

“I’m all stripped, wearing only a Winnie-the-Pooh shirt, and you’re saying you won’t take it off.”

“Funny words won’t work.”

I was serious though.

“I won’t take it off.”

Go Yohan has an exceptional talent for acting pitiful. I know it better since I’ve already fallen for it once. But the real talent was that my heart weakened even though I knew it. The increasingly smaller voice twisted and squeezed my heart. The center of my chest was pressed down tightly by a heavy stone. I grabbed the blanket strongly and then released it. Avoiding Go Yohan as much as possible.

“Then I won’t do it.”

At my words, I heard the rustling sound of the blanket moving.

“……What?”

Ha. With my head turned to the side, I let out a silent laugh. Honestly, I laughed because it was funny. He had been using a pitiful voice, but the sight of him raising his head with a curious voice was a little cute, if anything. You bastard, you always know what’s good like a ghost.

“Go Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

“…….”

Now someone is pounding my chest with a fist, as if to kill me. It’s pounding, it hurts so much, it’s agonizing, but the heat that can withstand that pain is holding me back.

“……You know.”

“……Yeah.”

“That’s…….”

The words are swallowed again.

I can take back my words now. I can turn back. But my conviction was blocked by the question that resurfaced. How are you going to turn back? To where? I know. I actually knew. I also knew the meaninglessness of not saying the words that evoked the act. I needed time and motivation. The courage to abandon the path I had longed for all my life. Now, the pain of stabbing my chest with a knife came. Choices are always difficult. Especially if it’s a choice that turns your life upside down.

But there is someone who made this choice before me. Right next to me, too. A stupid bastard who carries scars that can never be erased, who is ashamed of those scars, but doesn’t resent me. I took a deep breath. My flat chest rose. I exhaled the thoughts that complicated me along with my breath.

“……Go Yohan, actually, I’ve been too embarrassed to say this until now.”

The words to follow are engraved in my mind in advance. At the same time, my head heated up. It must be red again. I didn’t want to be caught in my shabby state, so I turned my head forcefully. My body turned to the side, and my face was buried in the blanket. My lips, half-pressed against the blanket, finally moved.

“I get excited when I see your scars.”

My first confession in life ended shabbily on the blanket like that. Not even fully naked, but with my T-shirt pulled up to my neck. And it was also a comfort. A comfort that your scars aren’t that hideous. Actually, they’re a little sexy too…….

“So…….”

Please……. The words I said softly were barely audible even to my own ears. Damn it. As expected, everything is shitty at first. At least when I first met Go Yohan, I never thought it would turn out like this. Would I have known that I would confess to Go Yohan and agonize over the task of resolving Go Yohan’s first experience?

Well, if I had known this would happen, I would have transferred schools when I was seventeen. But why isn’t he answering? Damn it, did he wake up? Did he think I was a weirdo with strange tastes? I’m going crazy. My mind is spinning more and more, and my lower body, which had been painfully erect, is slowly subsiding again. Should I make excuses again? Should I explain properly? I was just trying to say that it’s not your shame. Yeah, let’s just say it’s not.

“Wait! That’s not it!”

But my resolve was flung far away somewhere with the shaking of the bed. I heard the sound of feet touching the floor. Puzzled, I sat up. The T-shirt that had been hanging around my neck had come down halfway to my chest.

“Go Yohan?”

Go Yohan, standing in the darkness, quickly unbuckled his belt. The half-open zipper was clearly visible. My heart pounded again. This time, it didn’t hurt, it wasn’t agonizing, but I was suffocating. Go Yohan crossed his hands, grabbed the end of his shirt, and lifted it up. I could immediately see the well-defined abs and the muscles twitching near the slightly visible obliques. Go Yohan’s head came out through the small hole. His hair spread out messily as the clothes brushed against it.

“……Hey.”

“……?”

There was no smile on Go Yohan’s face. Only red, flushed eyes. I looked at Go Yohan’s upper body and body, which were half-hanging off the bed, and said in disbelief.

“Were you working out?”

“……Yeah.”

“When?”

There was no answer. Go Yohan bit his lip, completely lowered the zipper, and took off his pants. He raised his hand again to grab the underwear that hadn’t been taken off and pinched it between his thumb and forefinger. The black briefs stuck tightly to the flat muscles and went down. As Go Yohan lifted his hips, the presence in the center fell heavily with a thud.

“Usually, just. When I have nothing to do or when I don’t want to think about anything…….”

The Penis, full of veins, went up dripping water, then fell, unable to bear the weight. The sight of it twitching like a living creature presented me with two emotions.

“…….”

Terror and an unknown sexual tension. Go Yohan bit his lip, touched his bangs, and moved his legs to open the drawer of the bedside table near the bed. What was in the first drawer was a box of condoms. When he picked one up, I was shocked by the large number of bags that came up with it. I was speechless.

“I bought these just in case, thinking you might need them.”

“O-oh.”

I answered without really hearing what he was saying. I couldn’t come to my senses from the endless parade of condoms.

“……Should we use them?”

Go Yohan hesitated and straightened his back. Every time his well-muscled body moved, the red desire rose and fell. Even though the Penis, swollen with lust, rose erect, it couldn’t overcome its original weight and fell down again. It kept repeating that. The genitals, illuminated by the faint light, glistened with fluid. At that time, I sincerely wanted to say, “No.”

“I have this too.”

As if a store owner was trying to make a sale, he offered a cylindrical container with a dizzying design as a bonus. I could tell what kind of liquid was inside without reading it. My mind became even more pale.

“……When did you buy something like that?”

“Well, they don’t sell my size at convenience stores.”

Go Yohan put his index finger in his mouth and bit it slightly with his teeth. What is it? That fake smile that looks embarrassed.

“Shouldn’t you prepare in advance if you’re going to prepare? What if Jun-i loses his virginity without a condom? I was worried about that, so I bought them in advance. This is just in case.”

His knees subtly entered the bed. He was still pressing his index finger against his Canine Tooth, looking down. Oops. I quickly lowered my hand, but Go Yohan had already caught me in my state. It’s not like it can be covered with a finger anyway. My face, which had been pretending not to notice with my palms between my legs, became hot. Go Yohan looked blatantly between my covered legs and raised the corners of his mouth.

“We’ll have to use both.”

No, I don’t think I can.

Before I could stop him, Go Yohan knelt down and sat under me. The sight of the dark red genitals drooping over the white sheets was vulgar. Let’s sit up first. If I sit down, I’ll somehow buy time. With that thought, I put one elbow on the bed.

Of course, it was a mistake. I should have lowered my legs first. I should have thought about where would be exposed if I knelt down. I, who had no experience, was just busy covering the center. I realized my mistake when Go Yohan’s fingers, noticeably longer than others, especially his thumb, suddenly poked into my butt cheeks and pressed down on a part I had never touched before, as if to spread it open.

“Ah……!”

A nasal sound that I never wanted to make came out. It was sudden. Go Yohan, who was beyond my knees, was still giggling and focused on the part he might use soon. The playful touch was felt as it was, and very greatly. Hooking the fingertip into the gap, spreading it open as if bouncing it. Putting a finger under the wrinkle and lifting it up as if gathering the flesh. Go Yohan was giggling and laughing throughout the prank.

“Heuh…….”

That bastard. My throat became dry as if it was burning. I lowered my knees to stop the prank, but was blocked by Go Yohan’s arm when I was halfway down. It was even worse. Go Yohan grabbed my hamstring with his left hand and pressed down so that I couldn’t lower my feet at all.

“Hey, Go, Go Yohan.”

There was no answer.

The waist that I had raised along with it fell back into the bed as if it was being hammered in, and the hidden area that I didn’t want to show was clearly exposed. It was clear that it would be completely visible in Go Yohan’s field of vision. Because Go Yohan’s eyes were getting more and more wet with excitement. My thighs, pressed down by Go Yohan’s arm, pressed against my chest. I gave up on my body, which would never rise, and raised my arm to try to stop Go Yohan, but it didn’t reach. The only thing I could touch was the arm that was pressing me down.

“It’s okay. I trimmed my nails short.”

And that was the answer I heard a long time later.

I want to kill Go Yohan. His thumb pressed down firmly on the part where the hole was certain and pushed down hard. That tickling sensation slightly scratched my insides, then gradually climbed up my nerves and made my lower body erect. It was the worst thing to have to see my genitals, which were twitching because of the forcibly pressed position, without any exaggeration.

I desperately grabbed Go Yohan’s arm and pushed it away. But while I was grabbing and pushing away one of Go Yohan’s arms, I heard a rustling sound and felt a cold chill on the skin between my buttocks. Squeeze-. Something was squeezed out strongly, and the liquid that slid down at a slow speed followed the curve and dripped down below my tailbone.

“Hey, hey!”

“Yeah. Why?”

Unlike the voice that answered kindly, his hand was still pressing and moving wildly on the spread flesh. I didn’t moan because the sensation was still at the point where my lower abdomen was tingling, but it was dangerous. I felt that the muscles in that area were subtly loosening because he kept touching it. Soon, I had a feeling that the hole might open slightly. In a hurry, I moved my legs wildly, then relaxed and buried my face in the blanket.

“Ah, fuck.”

I was going to do it anyway. But this, fuck. This isn’t it. I hit the bed with my fist. What’s not it is that Go Yohan’s size is really not it.

“Don’t curse.”

I heard a gentle voice comforting me from under my legs. But his hand was still unrestrained. So were the words that followed.

“Oh, it’s fluttering.”

I know, so please be quiet.

I suppressed the feeling of wanting to scream. It’s my body, how could I not know? The tickling and pricking sensation that I’ve been feeling since earlier was coming from the place you’re rubbing. I never knew that the feeling of muscles contracting and expanding would be like this. I’m really becoming like this. I mocked myself. And, I felt a slender intruder slowly entering.

No way, no way, no way…….

“You, you don’t mean…….”

Something was pushing its way in, splitting the flesh. Judging from the fact that the tightly closed part was still moving, it seemed like he was pushing it in very slowly.

“How is it, does it hurt?”

Damn it, I gave up and relaxed. It wasn’t easy, though. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought, but I felt like I was going crazy because of the foreign object. It’s uncomfortable though.

“Ah, it doesn’t hurt.”

Hoo. My stomach fluttered as I took a deep breath. His thumb moved again. It seems like he put in his index finger. With his index finger inserted, I felt like he was gathering the greasy gel near the flesh. This time, I felt like something was catching on the flesh, then it closed again. Now my lower body was a little stiff and sore.

“……What did you just do?”

“I tried putting in my thumb too for now. Does it still not hurt?”

“A little, a little uncomfortable.”

After giving an honest answer, I corrected myself again.

“But I can handle it.”

“Wait.”

Go Yohan straightened his back. Then, after looking at my face, he released the force pressing on my hamstring and put his hand between my legs and spread them apart. Damn it. I quickly grabbed the blanket and covered it over my lower body. To be exact, only the important parts.

“Well, I already know you’re hard.”

“…….”

While I was doing a meaningless act, the painful feeling became stronger. This time, I felt something stinging like a needle. Go Yohan must have spread his fingers. When I frowned at the slightly stinging feeling, a large hand grabbed the inside of my thigh and pressed it softly. The hand, which came in carefully unlike the act, passed my thigh and gently grabbed the Penis hidden inside the blanket.

I let go of the hand that was holding the blanket and grabbed Go Yohan’s hand.

“……Don’t.”

“Why?”

“Anyway, don’t.”

But Go Yohan didn’t remove it and stroked it lightly with his fingers, stalling for time. At that moment, I felt like something had loosened in my lower body for a moment, and then I felt something hard coming in again. In a flustered state, I grabbed the hand I was holding tightly and asked.

“What, what did you put in?”

“……Fingers.”

The movement was slower and blunter than before, stirring below. Seeing Go Yohan’s reaction, which had been hesitant for a moment, I realized. It seemed like three fingers that didn’t move well had entered this time. Knowing that there were three fingers inside me stirring, I unknowingly tightened my lower body. It was Go Yohan who was rather flustered.

“……You really have unique tastes.”

I immediately denied it.

“……I don’t have those kinds of tastes.”

A thick, sticky sound was getting louder and louder from below. Flesh and sticky liquid were rubbing together. Go Yohan let go of the hand that was holding my genitals, put his hand on my knee, and laughed as if he was dumbfounded.

“Okay, I’ll believe you.”

“It’s not about believing me, it’s not.”

While I was retorting because I suddenly felt wronged, his fingers slipped out from below. Go Yohan’s finger joints sharply scratched my thin skin, and I reflexively wiggled my butt. Even so, I stiffened my face as if I didn’t feel anything.

“Acting cute.”

Go Yohan, who was grinning slyly, bit the condom wrapper with his Canine Tooth and tore it with his hand. Soon, he seemed to be putting on a condom, then slightly raised his body and pressed his lower body tightly against mine. In the gap where he wiggled his body to get into position, I ended up seeing the scene of Go Yohan’s genitals twitching and hitting the blanket. The blanket moved slightly due to the huge Penis, creating wrinkles. Go Yohan grabbed my thighs tightly and gave strength to lower them down. My body slid sharply on the blanket and stuck tightly.

Something blunt touched me. Ah. I raised my hand, grabbed the blanket, and took a deep breath. At the same time as the thickness of the heavy presence forced its way in, I felt a slight dull pain. As the something that had filled me filled my inner walls, the dull pain gradually increased, and my tailbone began to tingle like crazy.

I hurriedly raised one foot and blocked Go Yohan’s chest.

“W-wait a minute.”

“……Ah, please. Jun-ah…….”

Go Yohan stopped moving even as he said those words. He lowered his head deeply, then raised it again, his face clearly strained.

“Just a second, I have something I’m curious about.”

“……Please, ask me later.”

He shook his head. Go Yohan’s constant giggling disappeared. He made a scratching sound in his throat and gripped the thigh he was holding tightly. My hand, which was holding the blanket, was also soaked with sweat. Finally, Go Yohan, who had been scratching his throat, squinted and said,

“……What is it?”

“I, I feel like if it’s not now, you’ll subtly gloss over it again.”

It was also a way to buy time. Go Yohan would definitely lose his mind and force his way in. Once his head spins, he’s not in his right mind. I had to figure it out somehow. I focused on the heavy feeling that had only entered a little bit, and my chest rose and fell.

“Why do so many people know you?”

“……Why is that question coming up in this situation?”

He spoke as if I was asking a truly absurd question. Even so, he secretly pushed further inside, so I hurriedly pushed his chest harder with my foot. Go Yohan, pushed back in dismay, sighed.

“……They’re just guys who contact me on their own even if I stay still, and you know I’m not even close to them.”

“You meet up and hang out with some of them, though.”

“They’re guys I knew from middle school. Guys who lived in the same neighborhood before I moved. I hang out with them because of Father, but I’m not close to them at all. And most of them have gone abroad to study now. They’re all good-for-nothings.”

Ah. Come to think of it, the family next door went bankrupt and moved away as if they were running, and it was exactly then that the new family moved in. I relaxed the muscles below while thinking of an alibi. In fact, half of my mind was focused down there. Don’t be nervous. It’ll hurt if I’m nervous. I repeated to myself. At that moment, Go Yohan lifted his waist.

“W-wait a second. D-don’t……!”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. Ugh-. I had to hold back the stuffy nasal sound that was about to come out. I could clearly feel the process of the glans, hard at the tip, stabbing in without hesitation and settling into place. I tilted my head back and pulled on the blanket. But the blanket, which came down as I pulled it, was not reliable.

“D-don’t, pu, ugh, don’t put it in. I said don’t put it in.”

“Sh, it……. It’s gonna, brea, ak…….”

I felt like I was going to die from the pain. It really felt like my insides were being cut with a knife. I was lucky that I could endure pain relatively well. Otherwise, I might have already fainted or run away.

I struggled to lift my trembling legs and blocked Go Yohan. Of course, my legs, which had lost their strength, folded helplessly every time Go Yohan lowered his waist. I breathed with my head tilted back. I felt a firm hand grabbing both of my buttocks from below and spreading them wide, as if forcibly widening the hole.

“Yo, you, I mean.”

“Ah……, what is it now…….”

“I, I huu, huu, ugh, when di, did you li, like me?”

Even in the midst of all this, the questions I was curious about came to mind so well.

“……Fro, om the start?”

But his breathing was so rough that the words didn’t come out properly. I adapted to the dull pain that was gradually becoming familiar and deliberately slowed my breathing.

At least it wasn’t a moan, which I thought was a relief. Because there’s nothing more unsightly than a man spewing out moans. Go Yohan also leaned his waist back slightly and closed his eyes slightly. He had the same face as me, enduring the pain.

“N, no.”

Hearing those words made my lower body feel like it was sinking for a moment. It was childish, but I thought, ‘Why?’ I had definitely thought so after hearing Kim Min-ho’s words. I was sure after seeing the picture. The pain of my insides falling out was stronger than the pain tightening above my solar plexus. I felt a small resentment.

“Why?”

“……Wh, why do you ask.”

Go Yohan opened one eye slightly and then closed it again.

“I was interested in you from the first time I saw you, and…….”

Hoo. I listened to Go Yohan’s voice, which was gradually becoming more stable.

“Why, augh, why were you interested?”

“……Jun-ah, please.”

“……Tell me.”

I said resolutely in a tearful voice. I desperately pushed away Go Yohan, who was excited and pushing his body towards me, with my feet. Go Yohan, whose chest was stepped on by my feet, grabbed my thigh violently and groaned. Go Yohan, who was groaning with his waist slightly bent, took a deep breath and continued.

“Because you were so white.”

“…….”

“In a place like the cafeteria, all alone and so white, ah, shit…….”

I must have tightened my muscles down there without realizing it. I twisted my waist at the sudden dull pain I felt as well. Before I could even move my body, Go Yohan pressed down on my thigh violently, and it slipped in a little further.

Ah, it hurts. I writhed in pain as if my insides were being pierced.

“Can I, put it in more? Now…… it feels like your hole is asking to be fed more.”

I could feel my insides puckering up. It was driving me crazy as the firm sensation touched me every time it contracted and expanded, chewing on Go Yohan’s tip. The pain that felt like being cut with a knife was gradually decreasing. I never knew that my weak but strong body would show its talent in a place like this. Damn it.

I exhaled again and nodded. Because of my bent neck, the top of my head was rubbing against the blanket. He moved forward and entered again.

My inner walls were slowly being filled. As I focused all my senses on the sensation, I could feel my body moving to accept the foreign object. It clung tightly, as if trying to remember the shape it was filled with. I unconsciously lifted my heels at the pressure. Just when I thought it had opened to its limit again, the hole that was holding Go Yohan tightened. Crazy, even I thought it felt like I was urging him to come in more.

“……Ugh.”

Go Yohan’s groan was low. He stopped moving forward again. In fact, I had put more strength into tightening it on purpose, with a slightly resentful heart. I thought that was obvious.

“This time, wha, at is it, again……. Damn it.”

“Huu…… What, what happened next?”

I couldn’t stop asking questions even as I groaned. My personal desires were boiling like crazy. There was also some resentment that he hadn’t fallen in love with me at first sight.

“Ha. So what if I was white?”

Go Yohan frowned deeply, but he understood what I meant and opened his mouth.

“As if you…… were any different, damn it. You were so annoying……, smelling so good, and then, ah…….”

“Ugh…….”

“Jun, ah. You…… are so tight.”

Go Yohan made a face and let out a hot breath. He seemed to be in so much pain that he put his hand near his wrinkles and widened the hole that was holding his thing even more. Thanks to that, I almost screamed.

“Don’t widen it, I said don’t widen it.”

“It feels like my thing is going to get cut off if I don’t.”

“I’m not kidding, it really hurts…… Ah!”

Go Yohan frantically groped the bed for the gel. Then he scattered the cold gel between the tightly locked joints. He forced the slippery liquid into the opened gap and rotated his waist gently. Go Yohan’s shape stuck to the entrance and was felt delicately one by one. In the gap where Go Yohan’s hand slipped, the closed hole tightened around the penis again. It was definitely not intentional.

I focused all my attention on my feet, which had no strength. At least I tried not to put any strength on the joint that was holding Go Yohan. I subtly turned my waist, preventing him from coming in little by little, and asked urgently.

“So, did you hate me?”

“Jun-ah, please, can’t I just, put it in now……?”

“Not yet. Absolutely not.”

I shook my head desperately. I might really die if you do. Your thing is too big. Words that were neither connected nor properly pronounced came out in a flurry, and the tears that were flowing down my shaking face streamed down my cheeks. Go Yohan, who met my eyes, bit his lip. The penis that had been subtly entering stopped and only throbbed greatly. Go Yohan’s fingers, slippery with gel, touched the hole again.

“……Yeah. I fucking, hated you.”

At those words, my tense body relaxed and more tears poured out. I looked up at Go Yohan without even wiping away my tears and asked.

“Why……, why?”

“Because you weren’t interested in me.”

Go Yohan suddenly raised his head and looked at my face, which was covered in tears.

A strange shadow fell on his delicate, picture-like, melancholic face. He was finally catching his breath with a somewhat okay face, but he closed his eyes slightly and panted as if he was holding something back, which was maddeningly seductive. His thick, delicately layered eyelashes and his shoulders, which were already glistening with sweat…….

“In the first year, damn it, even if we, made eye contact, you acted like you didn’t know me, and you should have talked to me like the other kids…… You didn’t fucking talk to me, why didn’t you talk to me. Why! To me! Why in the second year…… did I end up in the same class as you. Yeah, when I saw you, I thought you were a shy guy, so I’d let it slide once, but I tried to joke around a little……. I joked around, but you didn’t even…… notice, you weren’t interested in me, and you were only kind to that Han Jun-woo, that son of a bitch……. To me, damn it…….”

I was also fascinated by his body, which was like a work of art.

Really, I was so eager to have that physique. When I thought about the reality that that body was begging to be put inside my body, I could feel the wrinkles holding my penis twitching. And Go Yohan, who was grabbing my knees again and groaning.

I didn’t hear properly even after asking. The muscles that had been loosened by being touched so much opened the gap again. Go Yohan didn’t miss that. The waist that was burying the penis inside me moved slowly. The heavy feeling that was firmly inside pressed against the inner walls in a different direction. I tilted my head back and choked for a moment. Because of that, my hips were lifted. In that gap, Go Yohan’s hand moved. The area between my waist and hip joint was grabbed so hard that it might bruise. Holding my slightly lifted body, Go Yohan slowly raised his knees. From below, the inner walls were gradually filled tightly.

“Ah……!”

“It was obvious that Han Jun-woo, that son of a bitch, was ignoring you……. You didn’t give a fuck about me, you son of a bitch. I really wanted to kill you, I wanted to kill you. You arrogant, crazy bastard, thinking you’re so kind, damn it, you’re only kind to Han Jun-woo, that son of a bitch, why to me, why couldn’t I even notice, really, it’s too much not to even know my address……! Let’s see you get fucked over……, ugh, I thought.”

Why are you widening the hole and coming in again? I couldn’t even hear Go Yohan’s voice anymore. The words that were off topic to my question, the words that I hadn’t even asked, were coming out smoothly, but they weren’t sinking into my ears. Go Yohan was mindlessly shoving his penis into the opened gap. I knew it would be like this. I knew he would shove it in so mercilessly. The penis that was filling my insides completely and pushing in finally pressed hard on a certain part.

“Huuut……!”

My tightly closed mouth opened for a moment and I let out a moan.

“You son of a bitch, you nasty bastard. You’re really a son of a bitch, like that, and then……. I was imagining fucking you until you were torn apart, damn it, I was going to make you die under me, more than that idiot Han Jun-woo, me, me more, so…… first I’ll be kind, and seduce you…… Ah, damn it…….”

“Ah…… Ugh…….”

“No matter how much you cry and beg me to forgive you, I won’t, damn it……, I’m going to shove it in until you’re about to die…….”

The pressure that was slowly pushing in was endless. It felt like my stomach was going to burst. It was hard to breathe, as if my body was completely filled. My organs were all jumbled up in a tightly packed state, which was painful. It felt like the sensitive spot that was hidden somewhere in my inner walls was being crushed. The hand holding my waist pressed down on my body so hard that it was embedded in the bed. A shuddering pleasure mixed with it.

The already dark vision became even darker. My legs were lifted higher, and my waist was lifted. Thick, long arms were erected on either side of my face. Go Yohan leaned over and lay down on top of me, with his arms erected. When my waist was lifted, the joint came into view. In the midst of the chaotic vision, I knew that not even half of Go Yohan’s thing had entered yet.

Crazy, fuck. I was already out of my mind.

“……I’ll, only put in hal, half more…….”

“No, I don’t wan……!”

But Go Yohan seemed to be out of his mind as well. There was no focus in the eyes that met mine. Why did I ask a question that he wouldn’t even listen to anyway? He wasn’t even going to wait for my answer. The body that had been lying down on me as if to crush me rose up, and the hand that couldn’t control itself swept down my waist without hesitation. After stroking my skin for a long time, he came down and grabbed firmly between my thigh and pelvis. And when I was breathing fast in fear, a tremendous pain erupted with the feeling of being pressed down hard.

“Ah, ah!”

I feel like I’m going to die. I really feel like I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I might die. My insides hurt so much. It felt like Go Yohan’s thing was filled all the way up to right below my throat. I could feel the rough pubic hair with my thin skin. Only then did I clearly realize that Go Yohan had entered completely inside me.

“He, hel, help me…….”

My mouth wouldn’t close. I felt like I was going crazy from the heat I felt on the skin that was touching below. I could hear my heartbeat inside my body. My inner walls, which had become very sensitive, felt everything about the penis that was holding me tightly. When Go Yohan grabbed my legs and lifted them up, the angle was bent and it was painful because it was stabbing a strange place. Tears poured out. At the same time, the pressure that had been rising as if stabbing my intestines slowly drained away. The hole that had been opened to its limit contracted. With a creaking sound, the hard penis came out. It had clung so tightly that I could feel every single vein that popped out. It’s going out, it’s coming out. It was the moment when my stuffy insides were sinking down and I was off guard.

Go Yohan’s thing stopped abruptly as it was coming out. Ah. What is it? Taking advantage of the hazy and dizzy gap, the penis that had been hanging there stabbed in again violently. I heard the sound of flesh colliding with a smack. I couldn’t even finish breathing and just trembled. Go Yohan, who staggered and swayed his waist, grabbed my thighs again.

“Damn it, you’re so clingy…….”

After that, we were almost no different from beasts.

The blunt tip frantically stabbed around inside. When it stabbed one place, it hurt so much that I almost screamed, and when it stabbed another place, a strong pleasure erupted that messed up my head. The former was so painful that I twisted my waist. It was an unavoidable instinct. Because it hurt, it hurt so much. When I slightly raised my waist, the thick glans pressed down on one area as if crushing it at once.

“Ah, ugh.”

And when he tried to stop Go Yohan as he was pulling out again,

“He, hel, help me…….”

I closed my mouth shamefully because I was only spitting out strange pronunciations. Go Yohan’s eyes were out of focus. He raised his waist violently and raised his hands to grope my chest and body wildly. In particular, when he touched my protruding nipples, I unconsciously tensed my stomach hard. Go Yohan, whose penis was tightly constricted by the penis that was deeply embedded in my intestines, stopped for a moment and groaned. Then he looked down at his dry stomach and said this.

“You……. It goes in all the way to here. You know that, right?”

He didn’t stop talking and pushed his hips in slowly. The flat flesh right below my belly button bulged out. The moment I saw that, my lower abdomen twisted and trembled. Only Go Yohan slowly pulled it out and put it in as if he was watching it. When the skin moved upward, my penis shook once and dropped a drop of white, transparent liquid. Every time a tingling sensation stabbed me, I poured it out. Every time I saw that sight, my vision gradually blurred.

“Ah, it’s so tight inside.”

Then I heard him muttering a curse under his breath, and he raised his body again and lay down on top of me. Go Yohan’s presence and warmth pressed down on me. My waist was bent to the point of pain, and my hips were naturally lifted. My upper body was pulled down further. As my posture was bent, the flesh inside was madly crushing the area of pleasure. Just before a scream erupted, I let go of the blanket and covered my mouth.

Tears flowed like crazy.

Flesh and flesh collided violently, making a squelching sound. Every time Go Yohan’s stomach and my lower body separated, the sticky, opaque liquid stretched out and made a lewd sound. The penis, which was shaking without a place to lean on, constantly ejaculated white liquid onto my stomach every time it was pressed down hard.

I want to reach out and touch it, rub it right away. That’s all I could think about. I moved my hand, which was not covering my mouth, while crying and tried to grab my penis. But just as my fingertips barely touched it, Go Yohan snatched my hand.

I glared at Go Yohan as if resenting him. But Go Yohan pressed my hand down.

“Haa, go while you’re being fucked.”

Then, as always, he taunted and teased me in a sarcastic and playful tone.

“Go with my thing. It seems pretty delicious since you’re tightening it so much that it can’t even get out.”

Even if I wanted to curse and call him a son of a bitch, opening my mouth would only produce moans. He just kept pounding away without any technique, and I didn’t know how the hell he could last so long. I just wanted to touch myself and get it over with first. So, I loosened his grip for a moment and pleaded.

“I, ahh, I want to cum. I, I want to cum first. Please. Please.”

I tried to lower the hand that was covering my mouth to grab him, but it was caught again. I twisted with all my might, but it was pressed down so tightly that I couldn’t move. Now I didn’t even have a hand to block the moans. I realized my mistake in an instant and cried even harder.

“Let go, hngh!”

“It’s, it’s your fault, you bitch. Ugh, it’s your fault.”

“Let go of this… Ah, ahh! Ugh!”

“So white… Because you were so white… Standing so nobly among the trash, I thought, shit, you were just a hopelessly kind bastard, a pushover who only gets taken advantage of, so I was careful with you…! How much have I, how well have I treated you. But it turns out you’re even more sinister and black-hearted than those crow-like bastards.”

“Augh!”

“If I, if I had known you were that kind of bastard beforehand… I, shit.”

His Penis, thrusting in without any consideration, as if to tear my body apart, crushed everything, whether it was a sensitive spot or not, and just the act of forcing his way in made my mouth open involuntarily. It hurt, pleasure exploded, and my mind went blank. The world shook wildly, the flesh of my buttocks collided and stung, and I felt dizzy. I was becoming an idiot. I wanted to touch myself. I wanted to touch myself to death and cum.

“Please, please… Please, pleeease… Ugh, ugh!”

“Jun, Jun-ah… Why, why did you do that back then. To me, why.”

“Hiss, hah!”

The hand that had been holding my wrist tightly suddenly stroked the inside of my thigh and went down. Every time the hot heat brushed against my sensitive skin, my thoughts disappeared like scattered air. It went up along my hip joint and firmly grabbed between my waist and buttocks. There was no time to ask what he was doing.

My body was lifted. As I staggered, my arm was grabbed. A firm hand pulled my arm and hung it behind my neck. Slightly sweaty, fluttering hair covered my collarbone. In an instant, the scent I loved filled me. Ah, Go Yohan was in my arms.

My body slumped as if intoxicated by the scent. Then, what I thought had reached its limit pushed even further inside. I was seated on Go Yohan’s thighs, and my legs, stretched out behind Go Yohan, bent inward. The blanket rustled along my toes.

“Ah, ahhh…”

The emptied part was filled completely without any gaps. Go Yohan, holding my waist and buttocks as if they would burst, put strength into his grip, lifted my body, and plunged me down without hesitation. My hands instinctively sought Go Yohan’s back. I stroked and slid them. I wanted to touch Go Yohan’s scars more than cover my mouth. I closed my mouth because I was ashamed of moaning, but every time he pounded from below, it opened involuntarily, and I couldn’t help but let out short exclamations like, “Ah, hah, ah.”

“…Look at me.”

When I only blinked weakly at those words, Go Yohan tilted his head back first. The hand holding my waist pressed my body tightly against his Penis, and then pressed my back tightly, leaving no room to escape. I felt like I was going to burst and die from being so full inside. Because of the bent angle, a tingling sensation rose from some area that was rubbed again. My knees trembled slightly.

“Yo, Yohan-ah… I feel like I’m going to, going to die…”

Please let me down. That’s what I meant to say. But Go Yohan pulled me in even deeper.

His tongue slowly licked below my eyes. Ah, moist and warm flesh gently touched my tear-soaked cheeks. When I half-opened my eyes and looked down, Go Yohan, sticking out his tongue and licking away the tears like a cat, looked sensual. He kept licking around my eyes, making me anxious. To the point where I was all in agony. Go Yohan carefully licked away my tears, and sometimes kissed and sucked on my chin.

“Yohan, ah…”

“Damn it.”

Intoxicated by that face, I grabbed his neck tightly and lowered my head further. Wet lips met. They overlapped, and the tongue that was about to come out mingled. Kisses always taste salty. Is it because I cried? Go Yohan, who was slightly visible, looked a little surprised, then slowly closed his eyes. I followed suit.

Go Yohan’s kisses are always cautious, and even though we’ve improved, we’re still clumsy. It didn’t suit his face at all. So was the faint warmth of Go Yohan’s touch. The mingled tongues made a squelching sound, and Go Yohan soon bit and stretched my lower lip. The separated lips went down my neck. Wet downy hairs stood on end. His lips, coming down while kissing me several times, bit my collarbone and sucked somewhere on my chest.

“……”

I lifted my hand that was around Go Yohan’s neck and bit it. I felt like my mind was going to explode. Soon my thoughts stopped. Before I knew it, the large hand that was tightly gripping my buttocks moved and began to thrust his hips fiercely. My vision shook violently, and I grabbed Go Yohan’s neck to avoid falling. The thick tip felt unfamiliar as it came out and slammed in. Each time, the inner walls that touched gave me a strange sensation.

“Wa, wait. Ugh, I, I feel like I’m going crazy… Slo, slowly…”

“Yeah, I like you, I like you. Shit… I fucking like you.”

“Ah, augh…!”

I couldn’t think of anything. I didn’t know what Go Yohan was saying, and I didn’t know what I was doing. I tried my best to close my mouth, but my strength was gone, and if I turned my head, it felt like I would drool. I just didn’t know. Because he was pounding so hard, I was clenching my bottom, but I just wanted him to thrust in more.

“If you, if you hadn’t tripped Han Jun-woo back then… If you hadn’t pulled that trick, that trick, I would have just gotten fucked a few times and it would have been over…”

“……Ugh.”

“It’s your fault… It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t done that…”

My toes curled up, and my knees lifted on their own. Go Yohan’s body fell as if to crush mine. The crumpled sheet rubbed against my back. When his hot lips bit my ear and bit my shoulder, the stimulation intensified. The greatest pleasure was Go Yohan’s rough breathing. Every time it touched my ear, my inner walls tightened.

“Ugh.”

Go Yohan frowned. Even in the midst of all that, I thought his face was too sexy. Finally, at the moment when he thrust all the way to the root, I reached out and hugged the body in front of me. The stiffened body twisted and grabbed my back and neck. The uneven skin touched my fingertips.

“Hngh!”

My inner walls tightened madly, and I felt the vivid movements churning inside.

Go Yohan, Go Yohan. Go Yohan’s sweat, scent, temperature. All of it filled me. The Penis, which had already cummed as much as it could, pitifully dripped its last Ejaculate. My head went blank as if I was burning out.

“Haa… Haa…”

His heavy weight pressed down on my whole body. I let my unmoving body droop. I could only hear Go Yohan’s breathing in my ear. The Penis, still not pulled out, trembled gently as if trying to pour the remaining Ejaculate into me. I couldn’t even wipe the tears from my cheeks, and just panted.

After that, I heard a long sigh, and the body, sticky with sweat, fell away. Go Yohan raised his body and made eye contact with me. I sniffed, but didn’t avoid his gaze. I just kept looking at Go Yohan, who was looking down at me while calmly catching his breath with his waist straightened.

“…Shit, if I had known you would be this pretty covered in Ejaculate.”

“……”

“I guess it wouldn’t have ended with just a few fucks.”

That’s all he could say, laughing in vain.

“Why do you have to cry when you get excited? It’s so arousing.”

Because his arms are long, his hand can reach my cheek even with just a slight bend. The hand that slowly wiped my face was cautious. How absurd. He was so ruthless with his lower body. I closed my eyes, feeling Go Yohan’s touch. Then, I let out a laugh that came out on its own and said.

“Just pull it out…”

My voice, which was so strained that I had put so much strength into my throat, was terrible. But ironically, a languid feeling came over me. I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t even want to lift a finger. The bed shook as Go Yohan moved slightly. I felt something dripping out between my legs. The thick end of the glans got caught, twisted for a moment, and then came out with a ‘pop’ sound, and I wanted to get up and run away immediately. When I slowly opened my eyes, Go Yohan was holding the condom, not knowing what to do, and then just threw it on the floor.

His outstretched hand and sweat-soaked body were all sexy.

Suddenly, I thought it was fortunate that Go Yohan’s first experience was with me. When Go Yohan, who had taken a position and was looking at my bottom, pressed down on that still panting place with his thumb, I wanted to kick him with my foot right away. But I didn’t have the energy to do that.

“It’s still twitching, you.”

“I really wish you were dead.”

“How was it having your virginity taken by me?”

“Please…”

As my mind calmed down, I recalled the words Go Yohan had said in the middle of our mingling bodies. I wasn’t in my right mind, but I heard them clearly.

My body was stuck to the bed and I couldn’t move. But I tried to come to my senses.

Go Yohan chuckled and gently stroked the gap where the muscles were still twitching as if they were alive with his fingertips. It was as if he was soothing a wounded place. To be honest, the touch made it sting even more. And seeing Go Yohan, who had strangely calmed down, I vaguely realized why Go Yohan had cried when we first mingled bodies.

My chest, which had been heaving violently, gradually calmed down. Go Yohan’s hand, which was tormenting my bottom, didn’t stop. You son of a bitch. Even if I glared at him, Go Yohan would only shrug his shoulders. His still playful face was annoying. Haa. In the end, I sighed and gave up on shaking off Go Yohan. I struggled to open my eyes, which were slowly sinking, and opened my heavy mouth.

“Go Yohan.”

“Why.”

“…How did you know?”

The answer came a long time later.

“What.”

While Go Yohan hesitated to answer, I had many thoughts. I was dazed, and I was also disturbed. After thinking for a long time, I carefully opened my mouth.

“When you were fighting, how did you know that I grabbed Han Jun-woo’s uniform and pulled him back?”

The hand that had been tormenting the opened gap stopped abruptly. The eyes that had been looking at me wavered. I was about to continue speaking, but I took another breath. My exhausted body made it difficult to speak at length.

“How did you know?”

The stopped hand moved again. He diverted his gaze, as if playing a prank, opening and pressing down. Go Yohan, who had just been looking at my bottom without answering, reluctantly opened his mouth.

“It’s obvious when you fall backwards without even feeling a touch.”

“……”

“Did you think you could fool even me, the person involved?”

I have nothing to say. I pouted my lips and looked at my right hand. Soon I lowered my arm and supported my body with my elbow, slowly raising my waist. Every time I moved, my joints and tailbone ached as if they were broken. Ugh… When I frowned, Go Yohan hurriedly grabbed my waist and helped me up. That’s how we faced each other.

Go Yohan fills my vision. At that time, Go Yohan had to win no matter what. Even for my perfect future. But Go Yohan knew that. I let out a hollow laugh. I didn’t say anything, so I thought no one would know.

“I didn’t think I would get caught.”

“You shouldn’t have gotten caught.”

“…Even if I hadn’t done that, you would have won anyway.”

At my words, Go Yohan hit the blanket and grumbled unhappily.

“Yeah, but why did you do that. …You don’t know how confused I was back then because of you.”

“……”

“You don’t know, damn it.”

This time, he grabbed the blanket in his hand and threw it down, then slowly opened his mouth.

“After that, you suddenly became friendly to me, treated me kindly, you have no idea how strange I felt back then. It was clear that you wanted something from me. What is it. Why is he doing this. Damn it, but even then, I thought. Yeah, but still, if you fell for me, I was willing to forgive you a little…”

“Go Yohan.”

“What, shit.”

“When did you start hating Han Jun-woo?”

It was a sudden question. Even I think so. Go Yohan must have thought the same. Go Yohan, who had been scratching the blanket for no reason, closed his mouth. But I was strangely anxious. As if urging him, I asked again.

“Did you hate him from the first time you saw him?”

“Who would like a bastard like that. I hated him so much I wanted to kill him from the first time I saw him.”

“Why?”

“Why do you need to know?”

His tightly clenched fist pressed down on the bed. I looked at Go Yohan, who was staring at the air as if suppressing his anger, and then my gaze moved to his ear. Go Yohan’s ear, visible through his disheveled hair, was flushed red. I raised my hand. I desperately wanted to touch his weak ear, which was tattered with holes. As if possessed, I pulled my body forward, slowly stretched out my arm, and touched it. At the same time, Go Yohan pulled his body back and looked at me with surprised eyes.

A cold temperature remained in my hand. I smiled with satisfaction.

“Why, why.”

Looking at Go Yohan, who was asking in a flustered manner, I opened my mouth after a slight hesitation.

“Yohan-ah, are you curious why I pulled Han Jun-woo’s back?”

“……”

Go Yohan didn’t answer, but his eyes, filled with bewilderment and questions, weren’t lying. I lowered my hand and raised my lips. I swallowed hard because my throat was sore every time I spoke. There was nothing sound in my body. But I didn’t stop talking.

A breath was swallowed, and a moment of time similar to eternity passed. My mouth opened.

“Actually, I already liked you back then.”

Confusion mixes with the eyes that held bewilderment and questions. Of course, I really liked Go Yohan after that, but I thought this much of a lie was cute for Go Yohan, who likes lies.

“I wanted you to win more than Han Jun-woo.”

However, it seemed that Go Yohan couldn’t believe all my words.

“Lie.”

“…It’s true.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Why do you think it’s a lie.”

“It doesn’t make sense!”

Go Yohan shouted with a confused face. At the same time, his small eyes moved anxiously.

“It doesn’t make sense that you like me.”

“Why doesn’t it make sense?”

It’s absurd. Was I that good at hiding my feelings? Rather, in my opinion, I was lucky not to get caught. And we even had sex. No, does he think I would have sex with someone I don’t even like? I was also embarrassed.

“……”

“…Why do you think it doesn’t make sense?”

“You, you are…”

Despair came to Go Yohan’s face, who was desperately trying to find an excuse that he didn’t like himself, rolling his eyes. What do you want to say, you can’t think of it, you can’t understand it. So he doesn’t even know. I said with a ridiculous feeling.

“Why did I do such a foolish thing when I went to your house?”

“That’s because you looked down on me…”

“What am I going to do by looking down on you? What benefit is there?”

Go Yohan’s eyes shook like crazy. “Ah, uh, that, that’s.” The small trembling words couldn’t become a sentence and scattered into the air. Ah, so that’s why people do ugly things. That’s why. I know why I hated seeing idiots drunk on love. It was because I was an idiot doing those things. I don’t want to let go of the foolish Go Yohan.

Go Yohan’s eyelids turn red. At the same time, my emotions were also heightened.

“You idiot, isn’t it because I liked you that I did all that.”

My love always starts with sacrifice. That was originally my way.

Ah, it’s all over now. The eighteen-year-old illness that I had vowed never to do ended in vain. Even after speaking, nothing changed. The world didn’t collapse, and my head didn’t explode.

There was only one thing that changed. It was Go Yohan’s face. The face that was gradually blooming contained suspicion and the joy of unspeakable hope. That scent was only directed at me. I, who was intoxicated by the flower that bloomed only for me, put an end to it once again. Well, it’s already done. This much isn’t difficult.

“I’ll swear on your religion.”

In the end, it means I’m betting on myself.

“Kang Jun has actually liked Go Yohan since he was eighteen.”

And I, who did this because I didn’t want to see Go Yohan’s tears, had to see Go Yohan’s tears again without change. It was because transparent drops fell like bubbles from his red, bloodshot eyes.

“Yo, Yohan-ah.”

I didn’t know what to do. Just as I reached out to wipe them away in a hurry, I was pushed back by a strong force.

“Ah, ouch…”

I scowled at the pain that felt like my bottom was falling out. Why all of a sudden? I groaned and looked up. And froze. Go Yohan was crying. The area around his slender eyes was red. His trembling hands, which I could clearly feel through my skin, carefully stroked my face. Honestly, the sight of him smiling while doing that was kind of hot. But I didn’t have the stamina to resist. I willingly smiled and raised my hand.

“Move a little now.”

I tried to push away Go Yohan, who was subtly adding his weight, but I felt something hot and hard growing between my buttocks. Seriously, the lust I had felt vanished in an instant.

“W-wait. Go Yohan. Don’t tell me you’re… Mmph.”

I couldn’t finish my sentence. His clumsy lips had found mine again. But he only lightly touched his lips to mine and did nothing else. Instead, he smiled more and more, chuckling softly. His lips on mine tickled. Unlike before, he acted with a sacredness, like someone making a vow.

“Jun-ah.”

Yohan being sacred? That’s absurd.

“Jun-ah.”

“No…”

What was with calling my name and forcing open the gap I had tried so hard to close? No matter how much I pushed with my trembling hands, he wouldn’t budge. Wait, why, why, I thrashed around, uttering words I couldn’t form into sentences. Whenever I tried to speak, Go Yohan tilted his head and kissed me. Lightly pressing his lips to mine. Each time he pulled away, there was a wet sound. Soon, a penis that felt thicker than before pushed into my loosened hole. I had no choice but to twist my waist in shock and freeze.

“…Ugh. Hey!”

Go Yohan’s whisper, heard through our joined lips, traveled down my neck.

“It’s okay. Even if what you said was a lie, it’s okay.”

Even when I tried to close my mouth, Go Yohan grabbed my chin and forced it open. My resistance was blocked like that. Ah, ahh… A moan, suppressed to the limit, burst out. Below, I felt a sensation that was somewhat more relaxed than before, but now any struggle was useless. Tears burst out as I felt him more than halfway inside me.

Ah, you son of a bitch.

“Jun-ah. Why did you have to make that confession to a religious freak?”

The inner walls, heated by friction, moved softly. The movement of him forcing his way in, throbbing subtly with my pulse, was transmitted through all my nerves. Go Yohan’s thing moved gently in the filled space. My hand, which I had reached out to stop Go Yohan, was instantly grabbed and pinned to the bed. His hard waist, pressed tightly against mine, moved languidly, and I bit my lip at the renewed, death-like sensation.

Finally, Go Yohan, who was pressing me down, smiled.

“A vow, the words that end from your mouth must start from your mouth. That’s why it’s a vow.”

“…”

“So thank you. Jun-ah. For your promise that you will continue to keep.”

As brightly as that sunny smile I had once seen in passing. You, at eighteen, blooming in the most desperate and chaotic time of my life, took root in my life like that. I felt myself losing my mind as I felt him pull out while tightly gripping my waist, then thrust back in as if slamming into me with only the tip touching.

I realized that I had truly lost my way out.

But as I clutched the rumpled sheets, I continued to think. Honestly, it wasn’t that terrible to have gotten such a good card as Go Yohan. I took a deep breath and accepted the heat filling me. I raised my hand, which felt heavy, and carefully stroked Go Yohan’s arm. The smooth skin brushed against me dizzyingly, and the tickling sensation at my fingertips aroused me. Go Yohan also stopped moving abruptly.

“…”

“…Yo, han-ah.”

I struggled to open my mouth, which was clogged with heavy sensations. Just silently, with my mouth.

‘Okay. I will.’

That was the end. Go Yohan, who had read my lips, stopped blankly, just staring stupidly without showing any movement. I struggled to twist my tightly held waist, sighed deeply, and moved my waist up and down on my own.

“Ugh…”

I closed my eyes and propped myself up on the bed with my arms. Each time I forcibly inserted and removed Go Yohan’s penis, there was an increasingly squelching sound from below.

“Ah ah…”

The moment I moaned alone, Go Yohan, who had been silent, suddenly put strength into the hand holding my waist. Before I could even assess the situation, my body, which had been rocking alone on the sheet, was instantly pulled down. I fully felt the sensation of the blanket sliding down my back and accepted what was about to happen. The inside was deeply, suffocatingly filled. Ah, it would hurt after all.

But isn’t there a price for everything in life?

My price is Go Yohan. That was worth it enough.

Copyright

Eighteen’s Bed 5

Author: Moon Slow

Publisher: Chic Novel

Price: ₩4,500

ISBN: 9791126543274

Submission: donga6370@hanmail.net

ⓒ Moon Slow. 2019

This ebook is protected under the Copyright Act of the Republic of Korea. No part of this work may be reproduced in any form without the permission of the author and publisher.

Chapter

| Table of Contents |

Go Yohan’s Report

Truth or Lie

Blue Holiday