By Zephyria 
135
“…Are you anxious?”
“Yes. I’m anxious.”
Tae-muk couldn’t quite grasp the nature of this anxiety either. He was just anxious, and anxious again. Perhaps it was because Ho-eun was too small and thin. Too fragile and delicate. And too… precious.
The constant coughing, fever, and staggering were annoying enough, but now he was bleeding for no reason. Not beaten by anyone, not bitten by a Devouring Ghoul, just bleeding. He didn’t even know when it would stop.
It would be a relief if it stopped like this, but what if the day came when it didn’t stop? The blood in that tiny body couldn’t even fill a bowl, and he was anxious about what would happen if he kept bleeding and bleeding until he ran out of blood.
“Don’t be sick. Don’t get hurt, don’t get nosebleeds, don’t be tired. It’s annoying. Got it?”
Tae-muk, his brow furrowed so deeply it creased his nose, spoke to Ho-eun as if issuing a warning. His voice was very stern, as if he would impose a great punishment if he didn’t obey.
“…”
Ho-eun quietly gazed at Tae-muk. He liked that Tae-muk was so anxious about him disappearing, in his own clumsy way. He felt like he had become an indispensable presence to him, like his usefulness was that great, and he liked it.
“…Yes. I will try.”
Ho-eun smiled faintly and nodded. Tae-muk carefully wiped Ho-eun’s blood and laid him down on the bed. He paused before covering him with the blanket. The blanket was damp and stained with nosebleeds, sweat, and other miscellaneous fluids.
He threw the blanket aside and stepped down from the bed. Then he took his Durumagi hanging on one side and covered Ho-eun with it. The Durumagi, tailored to Tae-muk’s size, was as large as a blanket, covering Ho-eun generously from below his neck to his toes.
Tae-muk nodded lightly, seemingly satisfied, but Ho-eun lowered the Durumagi that had come up to his chin and said.
“This isn’t very warm.”
At those words, Tae-muk didn’t get annoyed and immediately stepped down from the bed again. He was going to look for a spare blanket or fur. But Ho-eun grabbed his ring finger.
“If… if you hold me, God of War… it’s warm…”
Ho-eun said, his gaze faltering downwards. He knew he looked unmanly, unable to even speak properly while holding on, but he was doing his best in his own way. But Tae-muk seemed to stiffen in surprise.
“Well… I am a bit warm, I guess.”
He replied in a somewhat awkward tone. At that sight, Ho-eun couldn’t help but laugh softly. It seemed like all these actions, moments, and emotions were new to Tae-muk, just as they were to him. Well, it was only natural, since the God of War was his only one, just as he was his Bondmate.
Tae-muk climbed onto the bed and slowly lay down beside Ho-eun. The action felt strangely awkward. He had done everything possible with his body just a moment ago, but now he was so awkward just lying down together. Others would laugh if they saw them, he thought.
“…”
“…”
The two of them lay side by side, staring at the ceiling of the tent without a word. The descending silence was strangely awkward and heavy. It was Ho-eun who spoke first, unexpectedly.
“I’m cold.”
“Ah, uh.”
At those words, Tae-muk quickly hugged Ho-eun. He roughly kicked and unfolded the dried Durumagi with his foot. Ho-eun raised the corners of his mouth almost imperceptibly. He snuggled into Tae-muk’s arms, burying his cheek in his broad chest.
He could hear the thumping of his heart beyond the thick muscles. The regular and heavy sound made Ho-eun feel his body lose strength and his limbs relax.
He was sleepy. He had spent a busy day, had a Sexual affair with Tae-muk, and even had a nosebleed, so it was only natural.
As Ho-eun slowly blinked his eyes, Tae-muk stroked his hair. At the touch, Ho-eun slowly closed his eyes. Then he called out to Tae-muk in a low voice.
“God of War.”
“Why.”
“From now on, could you call me Ho-eun, like that?”
“What?”
“You called me that earlier. Ho-eun. It sounded nice…”
Although the words that followed were lewd remarks he didn’t want to repeat, it was really nice up to that point. It wasn’t the name that was nice, but Tae-muk’s voice when he called him that. His expression was nice too, and his eyes were nice too. He felt overwhelmed that he had become someone who could be called that by Tae-muk.
“…”
Tae-muk was silent for a while. Then he swallowed as if contemplating something, cleared his throat, and smacked his dry lips.
“…See.”
He uttered ambiguous words. Ho-eun smiled faintly at that. It was an insufficient answer, but it was enough for him. It wasn’t a denial, nor was it silence. If he had to categorize it, it was an answer very close to affirmation.
“Yes.”
Ho-eun answered briefly and burrowed deeper into Tae-muk’s arms. Then he took a deep breath and closed his already closed eyes even tighter. After that, he said goodbye to Tae-muk in a sleepy voice.
“I’m going to sleep now. Good night, God of War.”
“Okay.”
Tae-muk kept stroking Ho-eun’s long hair as if combing it. He also pressed his lips on his forehead or hair and lifted them, and gently caressed the protruding part of his shoulder blade with his thumb. In the moment when Ho-eun was helplessly falling asleep in the warm touch.
“Sleep well. …Ho-eun.”
He thought he heard those words, but he couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality.