By Zephyria Kim Ju-won wiggled his hand behind him. Meaning to hurry up and get on.
Of course, he didn’t expect him to comply willingly. Because it was Ki Jae-eon.
He expected a few arguments to go back and forth, but.
A heavy weight subtly pressing down on his back!
‘It worked.’
Kim Ju-won felt a surge of emotion, like a prickly stray cat had cautiously approached and offered its side. But before he could enjoy the satisfaction, he quickly straightened up at the quiet groan he heard.
“D-Don’t, look, at me…”
So he really didn’t want me to see him like this.
Kim Ju-won replied, “I’m not looking,” and carefully climbed the stairs. He walked so carefully that there wasn’t a single creak. Even while carrying a weight that was by no means light.
“I’ll take you to your room.”
He deliberately lowered his voice, conscious of his surroundings. But there was no reply.
Had he fallen asleep? Just then, he noticed the arms around his neck tightening slightly. And that they were trembling.
‘What’s wrong?’
Kim Ju-won stopped in front of Ki Jae-eon’s room.
“Little Mas… Jae-eon?”
“…Go.”
Ki Jae-eon moved his lips as if chanting.
At the faint murmur, Kim Ju-won replied as if he understood.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll just check for injuries and then I’ll go.”
I won’t be long. Don’t worry. He was about to add the rest of the explanation to reassure him, but before he could, a weak, trembling voice was heard.
“Go, don’t go… I’m scared. Don’t go, Kim Ju-won.”
Kim Ju-won’s eyes widened slightly.
‘Don’t go, Kim Ju-won.’
Like a candle in the wind.
Kim Ju-won took a short breath while standing in the hallway.
It was only natural. He hadn’t experienced ‘that’ yet…
Ki Jae-eon, who could be called perfect, was relying on me?
Thump, thump. An inexplicable thrill and a strange sense of responsibility surged from his toes and struck the top of his head hard. Brrr- his whole body trembled. Kim Ju-won tightened his grip on Ki Jae-eon. In that moment, the determination to protect this guy was etched deep within him, without him even realizing it. A sense of duty that he didn’t even know where it came from.
“…I’m not, going. Uh, I won’t go. I’ll be here. Don’t worry.”
With that, he turned and entered his own room.
‘Come to think of it, this has happened before.’
Kim Ju-won thought as he carefully laid Ki Jae-eon on his bed.
‘Back then, I was the one who needed Jae-eon.’
He never imagined the opposite would happen…
“Can I turn on the light for a second?”
“……”
“Okay. Then I’ll just take a look with my phone for a second.”
“Just…”
Ki Jae-eon mumbled.
“You can… just touch me with your hands.”
Judging from his half-mumbled pronunciation, he probably didn’t even know what he was saying.
However, the problem was Kim Ju-won.
He was clutching his phone tightly with a stiff expression. An unknown tension washed over him. Darkness, ragged breaths, a familiar yet unfamiliar scent, the rustling of the blanket. Everything stimulated ‘something’ in Kim Ju-won. Something that he couldn’t define exactly. It was similar to the sense of responsibility he had felt, yet different. The commonality was that it tightened his heart, but it was far from devotion to others.
It was closer to something raw.
But for some reason, he had a strong feeling that he ‘shouldn’t be aware of it.’
Kim Ju-won forced himself to suppress the turmoil in his heart and looked at Ki Jae-eon.
Poor guy.
A guy with no luck.
A sassy guy with great skills.
A guy who’s kind to the point of being foolish when you get to know him.
A guy who only throws himself away.
Looking at you like that…
“My hands will be cold.”
As he slowly raised his knees, the bed creaked. With two men putting their weight on a single bed, it couldn’t bear the load and made noise.
Kim Ju-won began to gently stroke Ki Jae-eon’s shoulders, as if he were climbing on top of him. His slightly thin shoulders were caught in his rough hands. The unique body heat of a person felt through the fabric tickled his palms.
“…Uh, your shoulder seems okay.”
Idiot, why are you groping him? Kim Ju-won lowered his gaze, feeling inexplicably awkward. He couldn’t even understand the reason for his tension. It was just a process of checking the condition of his bones and muscles, as he always did, but for some reason, he felt like he was doing something bad.
‘Why is this happening? I’ve done this for a lot of other kids.’
When working, legs are often sprained or shoulders are dislocated. Whenever that happened, Kim Ju-won would directly touch the children’s bodies to assess the severity of the injury.
Of course, this applied to both men and women, and there was no ulterior motive or intention in his touch.
But with Ki Jae-eon, why…
‘Is the human body always this warm?’
His hand, which had been stroking his arm, gradually tilted inward. The hand, which was uniquely large and clumsy like its owner, seemed like it would give off a strong perfume scent… but surprisingly, it had a sweet lotion scent.
‘His chest seems okay too.’
His chest, which had a moderate amount of flesh, gently rubbed against his palm. And when he occasionally brushed against the bulging area, Kim Ju-won flinched and twitched his fingers.
Was it because it was close to his heart?
Thump, thump- a large vibration was felt through his palm.
‘It feels like it’s beating along with this guy’s heartbeat.’
Would it be an exaggeration to say that it felt like they were becoming one?
Kim Ju-won slowly lowered his hand, which had been lingering on his chest for a long time.
It was around the time he reached his waist.
“…Hnn.”
Ki Jae-eon, who had been quiet the whole time, wriggled and twisted his body.
Only the sound of him moving was heard in the darkness.
“Your, hand…”
“……”
“Isn’t cold, it’s warm.”
“……”
“Touching, my stomach… feels good.”
Ki Jae-eon smiled.
After taking an unsteady breath, he smiled, saying that his hand was warm.
He looked like he had been saved.
Was that why? Suddenly, he had that thought.
[I saved Ki Jae-eon from hell.]
That gave Kim Ju-won a very strong sense of satisfaction.
No, to be exact, it was recognition.
[A big brother who can be relied on by the kids]
[The successor of the main office recognized by the elders]
Kim Ju-won, who had a strong obsession with becoming a ‘necessary person’ to others, felt a level of self-satisfaction he had never experienced before.
Yes, because it was Ki Jae-eon, of all people.
‘Is this what a mountain keeper feels like when he saves a divine spirit?’
The feeling of a worthless self becoming special by saving someone special.
“It’s… okay. It’s okay, Jae-eon.”
Kim Ju-won slowly lay down and patted Ki Jae-eon’s stomach.
“Don’t remember anything.”
He repeatedly whispered to the sleeping Ki Jae-eon.
“You can just start over from the beginning.”
Yeah, it’s better this way.
It’s right to forget the pain.
Erase everything and create it anew.
Yeah, that’s good.
Because you’re the kind of person who should have been like that from the start.
‘The right choice for Ki Jae-eon.’
I have to protect him so he doesn’t let go of himself again.
The hand patting his stomach tightened.
In that moment, Kim Ju-won made a choice.
Which one to abandon and which one to save.
“I’m sorry… Jae-eon.”
Don’t ever come back.
Because I have to save the you of now.
“Umm…”
Chirp, chirp- the bright sunlight that made him squint along with the chattering of birds.
Ki Jae-eon tossed and turned to avoid the elements that were disturbing his sleep.
But unfortunately, his sleep had already run far away.
Eventually, he slowly opened his eyes. His face, still puffy from sleep, was quite swollen, as if he had gotten a deep sleep.
‘What, is it morning? When did I fall asleep?’
He definitely remembered going to the kitchen to get water…
‘Was that a dream too?’
It took some time for his hazy mind to return.
Ki Jae-eon yawned and slowly raised his upper body.
But something heavy was caught near his abdomen.
As soon as he wondered what it was and turned his gaze, he froze.
Am I dreaming right now? Ki Jae-eon tilted his head and blinked.
Because wouldn’t it be natural to be surprised if there was a big, black gorilla lying next to you?
“Kkeureureureu-!”
“…What the hell is this?”
Ki Jae-eon instinctively stretched out his foot and kicked the uninvited guest away.
Thwack!
“Aaaagh!”
A loud scream woke up the main office’s morning.