By Zephyria Indeed, the night in Tokyo was beautiful.
The streets were more lively than during the day, and there were plenty of attractions to catch the eye while walking to the tower. From izakayas that had just turned on their lights to pachinko parlors of various ambiguous meanings. It was worthy of being called a city of pleasure. Ahn Seo-myeong especially enjoyed it. Jae-eon hyung, look at this. He smiled and tugged at Ki Jae-eon’s collar. Ki Jae-eon was happy to see him so happy.
However, he was worried about Kim Ju-won, who was following slowly with a sullen look on his face at the very back.
‘Is something wrong?’
He didn’t care about anything he saw, and his reaction was very lukewarm.
‘He’s not even eating…’
Unlike Kim Ju-won, who loves food.
He wondered if he was feeling unwell, so he suggested that he could go in first, but he shook his head, saying that wasn’t the case. Since he said he was okay, there was nothing more to say. In the end, they arrived at the Ferris wheel in an awkward atmosphere.
“Hyung, sit next to me as promised.”
“Ah, uh-huh.”
Ahn Seo-myeong was still beaming. Whether Kim Ju-won was depressed or not, his eyes were only fixed on Ki Jae-eon, and he didn’t seem to notice the other hyung’s condition at all. Or maybe he was deliberately not paying attention.
Anyway, he was stuck between the two people with such contrasting emotions, not knowing what to do. Just then, it was the three of their turn.
“
Following the staff’s instructions, Ki Jae-eon, who was standing at the front, got on first.
And then Kim Ju-won, followed by Ahn Seo-myeong, just needed to get on. But.
“I’m sorry.”
Just as he heard the murmur of a low voice, Ahn Seo-myeong was pushed out with a thud-. In the bewildering situation, just as he was about to jump up, the door closed in the blink of an eye and the Ferris wheel began to rise beyond the stop line. Woo-oong- clunk, woo-oong-. Ki Jae-eon looked down at Ahn Seo-myeong, who was gradually becoming a dot. “-!” He couldn’t hear the sound, but he was definitely shouting something.
“Why, why did you do that?”
“……”
Having no choice, he sat down and asked Kim Ju-won, who was across from him. He was just staring out the window without saying anything. After a short silence, he swept back his hair and quietly replied, “Just.” He was definitely not the usual Kim Ju-won. He had a boisterous personality, and putting aside the fact that he didn’t act his age, he basically revolved around his ‘younger brothers,’ so there was no way he would act like this.
‘He knows Seo-myeong is looking forward to it.’
Therefore, there was only one thing he could guess.
“D, do you have something to say?”
For example, there was a story that Ahn Seo-myeong shouldn’t hear.
“……”
And a gaze that met his as if that was the answer.
“…Yeah. But I’m choosing my words.”
As if he was really deeply troubled, Kim Ju-won muttered while wiping his face.
“I have to approach it as carefully and delicately as possible. But no matter how much I think about it, I can’t think of anything other than ‘I’m sorry.'”
Haa-. He took a breath and raised his head. The side of his face, which had no smile on it, was dyed in various colors by the fireworks bursting beyond the glass window. Especially his eyes were sparkling as if they had stars embedded in them. Blue, vermilion, purple. Ah, they were really pretty colors. More than anything, they suited Kim Ju-won very well right now. What should he say, they gave a good synergy? His slightly disheveled black hair and the faint scar on his cheek made him look like the male protagonist in a 90s Hong Kong movie. Or maybe like a delinquent boy wandering the streets of Tokyo at night.
‘I’ve never looked at him this closely before…’
Looking at him one by one, he was quite handsome.
It was when Ki Jae-eon was captivated and lost in thought. Kim Ju-won smiled self-deprecatingly and continued.
“Why am I so ignorant? I should have read some books earlier. Then I could have apologized with better words.”
He added the clumsy words, “I’m sorry for being ignorant.” Then, as if he had made up his mind, he clasped his hands tightly and stared intently at Ki Jae-eon.
“That Evil God from back then.”
“……”
Why bring up a story that’s already over? Before he could even question it.
“That was you, wasn’t it.”
It was you-. Kim Ju-won confirmed with a distorted smile. His voice, which scattered into the air, was full of pain. It was like the tone of someone who was suffering because they wanted it not to be true, but they knew the truth in the end.
Ki Jae-eon was surprised again, but honestly, the feeling of ‘now that it’s come to this’ was greater, so he didn’t have any particular thoughts. He wasn’t curious about how he found out, and he didn’t particularly want to receive an apology.
Because he had spilled everything at the sauna that day.
But Kim Ju-won’s position was different.
He was collapsing in guilt in real time.
“Now I know why I have to apologize to you.”
“……It’s ok,”
“Yeah, you’re going to say it’s okay.”
“……”
“But I can’t forgive myself, so I’m going crazy. Yeah.”
Before he knew it, the Ferris wheel had reached the very top.
“I’ve been thinking about it. Should I apologize until I die? Should I get beaten up until I forget everything?”
Kim Ju-won took a breath and rolled his eyes upward once. He could see his Adam’s apple bobbing greatly as he swallowed hard.
“But I don’t think any of that is right.”
He could clearly feel his breath gradually becoming rougher in the narrow space.
“Really, I don’t know.”
“……”
“Please tell me.”
Kim Ju-won bit his lip tightly. His gaze lingered on his trembling jaw for a moment. I’m sorry-. He could see his rough cheeks getting wet. I’m so, so sorry. I, I really messed up. Kim Ju-won’s head drooped weakly, and even his shoulders began to shake. Heuh, heuk-. At the sound of suppressed sobbing as if he was trying to hold it in, Ki Jae-eon finally got up. Ggeuk-. The Ferris wheel shook greatly once, following the center of gravity.
Ki Jae-eon watched the man who was crying with his upper body bent over for quite a long time. Kim Ju-won, who was covering his face with hands as big as pot lids and sobbing endlessly.
Honestly, that appearance itself was enough of an apology.
Because it felt more sincere than any words.
“I, I…”
So, Ki Jae-eon reached out and gently ruffled Kim Ju-won’s hair and said.
“If hyung stops crying, that’s, that’s enough.”
He gave a little strength to his gently stroking hand and made him lean his head on him. The head, which he thought would be stubborn, unexpectedly followed his gesture weakly.
“We’ll be getting off soon. L, let’s go see Seo-myeong.”
“……Haa, heu.”
“I, I’m not good at comforting people like this either, following hyung’s lead.”
As he joked, following the words Kim Ju-won had said someday, the sobbing finally subsided. Heuh! Kim Ju-won, who was sniffing and taking breaths, opened his mouth as if grumbling in a very hoarse voice.
“Jae-eon-ah.”
“Yeah.”
“Even if you say it’s okay, I still have to, ha, repay you, okay?”
“……”
“So.”
Kim Ju-won, who raised his head, met his gaze.
He blinked his red, swollen eyes and said with an expression that looked like he was about to burst into tears again.
“I’ll take responsibility for you. I’ll prioritize you no matter what happens in the future.”
At the same time, the Ferris wheel clunked-! and moved greatly with a cute children’s song. Ppala-la-la-. Soon after, a guide voice saying goodbye also flowed out. The Ferris wheel was over.
“Uh…”
Um, before he could even answer.
“Hello.”
The automatic door opened and an eerie greeting dug between the two of them.
“Was it fun?”
It was Ahn Seo-myeong, uncharacteristically pissed off.
*
“……”
“……”
In the alley in front of the accommodation, Kim Ju-won and Ahn Seo-myeong were facing each other without a word.
Of course, Ki Jae-eon had been sent in first.
Kim Ju-won scratched his cheek awkwardly at Ahn Seo-myeong, who looked angrier than expected.
“No, so…”
As he moved his lips, Ahn Seo-myeong immediately glared at him and gave a cold warning.
“Why are you opening your mouth first, hyung?”
“Did it hurt a lot? I didn’t push you that hard.”
“……”
“Anyway, I’m, I’m sorry.”
“No. You don’t have to apologize. Just tell me what you two talked about.”
“What?”
“Can’t you understand? Why did you have to exclude me at that timing?”
Am I getting in the way? Ahn Seo-myeong’s posture became even more crooked. Basically, he’s the type to endure as much as he can when dealing with hyungs and noonas, and then burst out in anger all at once, but now he was acting like he was genuinely annoyed to death.
“Hey. No, no. Hey- don’t tell me you’re misunderstanding something weird.”
Kim Ju-won laughed in vain, saying, “Hey-.” It was an attitude as if telling him not to joke around.
But Ahn Seo-myeong didn’t laugh.
“I’m asking because I don’t want to misunderstand. Stop dragging it out and tell me. Jae-eon hyung is alone.”
Kim Ju-won’s lips trembled at the sound of Ahn Seo-myeong’s annoyed voice.
“Hey, it’s me and Jae-eon. What kind of-.”
At the nuance that he was making a ridiculous misunderstanding, Ahn Seo-myeong twisted his lips. Then he muttered, “Us?” as if sneering and said.
“Yeah, because you’re hyung. Because you’re a close hyung, I hope it’s not true even more. Let’s make it clear, us.”
“Hey.”
“Ju-won hyung.”
“……”
“Do you think I’m joking right now?”