By Zephyria And so, he went to the bathhouse alone.
He crossed his arms in an X shape, took off his top in one swoop, completely undressed his bottoms, and pushed open the door with a click. The empty bathhouse seemed to quietly welcome him.
“Huu.”
The unique, warm smell of the bathhouse, emanating from the hot water, calmly soothed his troubled mind. Kim Ju-won finished his basic shower and then put his body into the large, round tub. Splash—the sound of overflowing water washed away his dizzy head.
His cold body tingled from the sudden heat, then gradually began to loosen up. Haa—his head naturally tilted back with a hot breath. Only his voice echoed emptily in the empty space. Kim Ju-won closed his eyes tightly and focused on relieving his fatigue.
‘It’s okay. You’re doing well.’
He was absorbed in himself as if meditating for a long time.
From the direction of the changing room, where there shouldn’t have been anyone, he heard the rustling of clothes being taken off.
Kim Ju-won’s ears perked up with his eyes closed. He wondered if he had misheard, but no. Soon, he heard slow footsteps. A bath at this hour? He was in no position to talk, but even so, it was too late. As far as Kim Ju-won knew, no one had been assigned to night duty today. He opened his eyes and roughly washed his face, splashing hot water.
‘Well, does it matter.’
Just as he was about to focus on recovering from his fatigue again, one person flashed through his mind.
Kim Ju-won twisted his lips into a smirk.
‘Just as long as it’s not that bastard.’
But.
“…Oh, uh, hi.”
The one who approached with soft footsteps was Ki Jae-eon, whom he had desperately hoped it wouldn’t be.
He had prayed earnestly, but his prayers didn’t seem to work.
“…Ha.”
His face was always gloomy, no matter when you saw it. Shit, why did it have to be you? Kim Ju-won silently stared at Ki Jae-eon, who had appeared before him.
He had come to find inner peace to escape the pouring rain, but instead, he had encountered a storm. He was unlucky to have such bad luck.
“…….”
Kim Ju-won chose to ignore him instead of accepting his greeting. His annoyed gaze stared at the innocent wall as if to kill it. Ki Jae-eon didn’t say anything else at the blatant attitude of aversion. He just quietly did what he always did, as usual. Splash, chaa—only the sound of water flowing echoed in the bathhouse.
A strange air gradually flowed between the two of them.
In fact, Kim Ju-won and Ki Jae-eon were in a rather ambiguous relationship, though they had glossed over it so far. The ambiguous relationship here meant ‘comparison.’
To be exact, it was the people around them who had made it that way.
They were always weighing the two of them and having fun. Some of them had malicious intentions, and some didn’t. For example, there was the saying [If there’s Ki Jae-eon in Incheon, there’s Kim Ju-won in Seoul] that was publicly circulating in the main office. Even that, which everyone was half-jokingly talking about, was a type of comparison. Selfish remarks that didn’t consider how the listener would feel or how burdened they would be at all.
Of course, there were many other rumors. The story changed every time depending on the person, but the given basic framework itself didn’t change. Ki Jae-eon was assigned the role of an impregnable wall blocking Kim Ju-won, and Kim Ju-won was assigned the role of a typical hot-blooded manga protagonist who had to overcome Ki Jae-eon, and they had to diligently and steadily go up and down the mouths of others.
Even all the efforts Kim Ju-won made were often regarded as means ‘to defeat Ki Jae-eon.’ It was for himself, but it wasn’t for himself. In that way, the two of them had to constantly chase and be chased even in moments when they had no contact with each other. It was hard to know, but the pressure Kim Ju-won received must have been quite great. Because the opponent was none other than ‘Ki Jae-eon.’
Even if he spent a whole week defeating one powerful specter, the other side was catching and killing dozens, hundreds of specters a day… sometimes he must have felt a sense of futility, wondering what this was all about.
To that extent, the existence of Ki Jae-eon was said to have acted as a sufficient stressor for Kim Ju-won.
An overwhelming difference that made him doubt his own talent, even though he was diligently and successfully doing his best. A sense of inferiority that wouldn’t go away easily. A sense of defeat that made him unable to praise himself.
Do you know what the most maddening situation for a person is? It’s when you almost reach it but ultimately can’t. When you finally realize that what you’ve been desperately holding onto is not hope but futility after being tortured by the hope that you can do it if you try. The sense of loss at that point can be said to be at a level that is difficult to imagine.
But even though most people usually choose to give up under the guise of self-objectification… Kim Ju-won was different. He chose frustration instead of giving up. Thus, he was broken tens of thousands of times and tasted repeated failures. He was angry, sad, and ashamed.
However, what we need to know is… that giving up and frustration are clearly different.
Giving up is the end, but frustration is about being in pain but standing up again.
That was one of the ways Kim Ju-won had his value recognized.
Of course, there were bound to be side effects. The obsessive idea that he had to do as well as Ki Jae-eon, or even several times better.
He didn’t care. He just had to do it.
Isn’t that what growth stories are all about? For example, having the mindset of using trials as nourishment for overcoming them. For the protagonist, crises and conflicts are essential elements.
So, he didn’t care even if his inferiority complex towards Ki Jae-eon gradually turned into resentment. There was no need to resolve it. He treated it as an emotion that would naturally be resolved someday when he surpassed Ki Jae-eon.
So, even when he had to leave the main office for a while, he could entrust the kids to Ki Jae-eon without hesitation. He was a stranger, and he was the original owner of the place.
So…….
“Isn’t there no need to secretly wash anymore?”
If his choices so far had been right, there should never have been such childish jealousy.
“If the kids knew you were still like this, they’d be disgusted.”
Kim Ju-won’s voice spread widely in the quiet bathhouse.
I know I shouldn’t, but once the jealousy leaked out, it grew uncontrollably, ready to wound the other person.
“……”
As expected, Ki Jae-eon flinched and made a withdrawn expression. His slanted gaze was a substitute for an explanation that he didn’t mean to. Whether it was real or not, it didn’t matter. It was just a simple slander. But I didn’t bother to say more. Seeing him subdued made me feel relieved.
The uncomfortable air chases away the muggy heat.
Kim Ju-won forced a smirk. To avoid getting serious. It was similar to self-hypnosis, telling myself that I wasn’t tormenting Ki Jae-eon because I was suffering from cheap inferiority, but just joking around.
Yeah, if Ki Jae-eon hadn’t uncharacteristically retorted with a cocky, “I, I…,” the situation would have ended there.
“Here, is, goo, good.”
Ki Jae-eon stammered. His eyes, which were always darkly sunken, were more flushed than usual, even containing a faint vitality. …Good. Following his lips that twitched once more, his eyes, which never knew how to bend, folded into crescents. His face, mixed with not excessive gloom, seemed to have found even a faint stability.
“I can, be, nor, normal… here.”
It was exactly the expression of someone who had tasted some happiness.
Kim Ju-won’s lips twitched for a moment when he saw Ki Jae-eon’s relieved face.
However, no words came out. Instead, the sound of a drop of water echoed through the space.
Drip- drop.
The sound of water droplets was repeated, which was very annoying.
Drip…….
Ah.
Drip… drop.
No.
It’s not just water droplets.
What I really want to get rid of isn’t just water droplets, but….
“Goo, good… pla, place, see, seems.”
It’s you in front of me.
Ki Jae-eon, it was you.
The main office is good? Of course.
The main office, the people here are all good people, so you can’t help but love them.
It means you can’t help but become precious.
But that doesn’t mean you should enjoy it.
I never allowed it.
Kim Ju-won had no intention of sharing with Ki Jae-eon at all.
“Nor, normal?”
Because that was… too greedy.