By Zephyria 
Perhaps, maybe, if.
Only such words surfaced intermittently, only to be cut off repeatedly. Like a program error, it wouldn’t transition to the next scene. And… before he could clearly recognize the situation, the fresh scent of trees enveloped Seo Baek-han.
…Ah. Seo Baek-han squeezed his eyes shut. He wished for it so desperately that it could be a dream, or a hallucination.
“I, I will go and escort him!”
Secretary Nam, who had been momentarily dazed, rushed to the door. Secretary Han, belatedly regaining his senses, and the other two secretaries immediately followed him.
The light reflected off the white walls of the lounge, hurting his eyes. Just as the scenery before him began to darken from the edges, as if his eyeballs were burning.
“Y, Young Master… how did you get all the way here……”
“Young Master! You’ve come!”
“I apologize for the commotion. It will only take a moment.”
The door opened, and Joo Tae-hyun’s parched voice was heard.
“A moment? Take your time… no, please talk as much as you need……”
At Secretary Nam’s voice, which could be heard from nearby, the others who had been guarding the inside quickly vacated the room.
Beyond this white wall, around the corner, into the long corridor.
Joo Tae-hyun was standing there.
“Ten minutes, no, five minutes will be enough.”
“Don’t worry about us, please talk. We’ll be waiting outside.”
Quiet footsteps at a moderate pace. Joo Tae-hyun’s unique voice, full of apologetic feelings, yet calm and languid.
“…Hyung.”
Past the pure white wall that served as a screen, he truly revealed his face. The dim, flickering vision cleared instantly. The lost colors became vivid again, and the ringing in his ears subsided.
All thanks to Joo Tae-hyun coming all the way here.
Seo Baek-han somehow endured the sensation of his throat burning as if he had swallowed a ball of fire.
“…It’s a relief, that I caught you before you boarded the plane.”
Otherwise, he felt like he would have shown an unsightly appearance.
“I was waiting in the lounge, but I didn’t know the location had changed.”
I came straight here after washing up, so I’m a bit of a mess. Joo Tae-hyun added, sweeping back his bangs, and a nostalgic scent wafted from his touch. The scent of his favorite cologne, the subtle scent of fabric softener, and the unique scent of Joo Tae-hyun’s house… Paradoxically, the presence of Joo Tae-hyun himself, rather than his pheromone, and the ordinary daily life he had experienced with him for a few days, filled Seo Baek-han’s entire body.
“…Lounge, hmm, you were in the lounge?”
Seo Baek-han, trying to hide his hoarse voice, cleared his throat and asked a pointless question.
You arrived at the lounge first and were waiting?
You were waiting for me…….
“Yes. I see why people risk their lives for power. There were places that money couldn’t buy.”
Joo Tae-hyun, as if trying to lighten the mood, added at length, glancing around the waiting room. Seo Baek-han was equally at a loss for words. He was worried that he would find the silence awkward and uncomfortable, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak easily.
“Is it okay if I sit down?”
“O, of course.”
He was so flustered that he had completely forgotten to tell him to make himself comfortable. He tried to pull out a chair for him, but Joo Tae-hyun’s movements were a little faster. Glancing at the laptop and tablet that the secretaries hadn’t had time to clear away, Joo Tae-hyun let out a long sigh.
“Everyone seems busy.”
“No, it’s okay. It’s what we always do, and… it was the final check.”
Joo Tae-hyun carefully replied that it was a relief then.
“The request to see me off… was a joke.”
Seo Baek-han spoke only after calming his boiling insides several times. He tried to smile as if nothing was wrong, but unable to hide the rising emotions, Seo Baek-han eventually pursed his lips tightly and turned his gaze elsewhere.
“You must have been busy since this morning. I said something unnecessary……. I’m sorry…”
Words of apology popped out without him realizing it. Ah, Seo Baek-han swallowed a sigh, disgusted with himself for being so out of control.
He thought he would be okay. He thought he could endure it if he nourished himself with the kindness Joo Tae-hyun had shown him last. Even while going through the procedures, even while looking at the documents that contained heavier content than expected, he missed Joo Tae-hyun, but he believed he was holding up well. If he truly loved Joo Tae-hyun, if he didn’t want to ruin the dreamlike ending he had given him, he had to push himself.
But… as soon as he saw Joo Tae-hyun’s face, he shamelessly wanted to beg.
Tae-hyun, how can I, how can I possibly live without you…….
“…I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw Kim Seung-jun in the detention center.”
“……”
“I didn’t want to be consumed by the emotions of liking and hating someone… those kinds of feelings.”
Of course, even at that time, no… until recently, I didn’t even realize that my heart was like that. Joo Tae-hyun hesitated several times, carefully choosing his words.
“There must have been a reason why Kim Seung-jun became obsessed with Hyung, and conversely, there must have been a reason why Kim Seung-jun grinds his teeth at the mere mention of my name… that bastard wasn’t always like that from the beginning.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s words were true. The origins of the sprouting emotions or the reasons that could be taken into account had long since disappeared. Now, Kim Seung-jun didn’t even like him, but like a person under a spell, he barely clung to his emotions, relying only on those words, and he blindly hated Joo Tae-hyun to the point of obsessing over plotting terrible things over a long period of time.
“I still… hate Hyung a lot. I haven’t forgotten any of the nasty things you said to me… how could I forget?”
“……”
“But… that doesn’t mean I want to live the rest of my life hating and disliking Hyung.”
Now, I want to slowly let go of those feelings, one by one.
“I don’t want to become like Kim Seung-jun. There are always people who cheer me on and love… me, so I can’t degenerate into that kind of monster.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s eyes, looking up at Seo Baek-han, were endlessly clear. In him, expressing his will clearly, he read an indescribably beautiful will. A firm and upright heart that he, who had become twisted somewhere in pursuit of dreams he wanted to achieve, goals he wanted to accomplish, and positions he wanted to grasp, could never show.
“So, I want to start by forgiving Hyung… first.”
“……”
“What do you think, Hyung?”
A monotonous voice unique to him, close to a declarative sentence.
An expressionless face that was not befitting of his age, which he had admired since he was young, saying that he had a pretty good seed.
Eyes as gloomy as if ink had been spilled.
The same man, the same Alpha, whom he had sworn he would never love, let alone sleep with during his life.
Joo Tae-hyun.
Joo Tae-hyun, Joo Tae-hyun, Joo Tae-hyun, Joo Tae-hyun…….
Seo Baek-han knelt on one knee and looked up at Joo Tae-hyun. It was not an intentional posture, but he looked like a prisoner begging for forgiveness, or a knight swearing allegiance to the one he would serve… and on the other hand, he looked like an ordinary man proposing with all his heart.
“…I said I would try not to hate Hyung, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven you yet.”
“Yeah.”
“Even if everything gets better later, I may never like Hyung again.”
“Yeah, it’s okay. I know what you mean.”
“…So, don’t look at me with such expectant eyes. I still can’t feel Hyung’s pheromones, and also-.”
“Tae-hyun.”
Seo Baek-han rested his forehead on Joo Tae-hyun’s knee.
“I love you.”
A confession like a sob poured out.
I love you, I love you, I love you, Tae-hyun.
He couldn’t bear even the short moment of breathing in and out. He just kept muttering that he loved him.
“Thank you for letting me love you… thank you.”
“……”
“That’s all I really need.”
There was no response from Joo Tae-hyun. He didn’t push away Seo Baek-han, who was clinging to him. He just tried to stroke Seo Baek-han’s head, which was buried in his lap, but withdrew his hand. It was a very small and quiet movement that he wouldn’t have noticed unless he was so close.