By Zephyria 
Ah…
Seo Baek-han couldn’t show any reaction. It felt as if his throat was so blocked that he couldn’t even swallow a groan.
“I know that Hyung wasn’t interested in me back then, but still…”
Joo Tae-hyun’s shattered heart became sharp blades, flying towards Seo Baek-han. Joo Tae-hyun’s unrequited love from a past he had constantly ignored, unaware of his own feelings, stabbed at Seo Baek-han’s heart, going against the flow of time.
“That’s why I don’t believe what Hyung says.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s hand, gripping the edge of the table as if he would jump up at any moment, trembled slightly.
“You said you liked me. But every time, still, you do as you please. What’s changed between then and now? Just because you like me, you don’t care about my feelings and push forward as you please.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s anger was justified.
After having sex once, he made all sorts of excuses to hold Joo Tae-hyun.
As always, his expression was calm, but he remembers how excited he was to go to the Ferris wheel. The way he hugged the clothes with his pheromone on them and buried his face in them… he thought it was cute back then too.
Even so, he was blinded by Cheon Seung-pil’s call and drove Joo Tae-hyun… to the very end. He even mocked him by mentioning their first sex at the Lotus Flower Palace, which the person in question doesn’t even remember…….
Seo Baek-han quietly sighed.
He was good at taking knives and bullets for Joo Tae-hyun, but why couldn’t he properly understand his pain?
“…I’m sorry. About just now.”
Joo Tae-hyun, who had been biting his lower lip and averting his gaze for a while, took a deep breath and apologized. He seemed embarrassed, as if he didn’t understand why he had suddenly become so emotional.
“I didn’t mean to bring up the past like that.”
Joo Tae-hyun’s eyes shone with a dull light, as if water had been poured over finely ground ink.
“…No, I’m rather grateful. That you told me, at least.”
This was also sincere. Apart from being angry at his own foolishness for constantly scratching at his insides, he was grateful that Joo Tae-hyun was revealing his inner thoughts, even in this way.
Joo Tae-hyun might be sick of being entangled with him again, but he was grateful that he still had emotions to pour out on him, even in this way.
“…If there’s anything I’ve been insensitive about again… Tae-hyun, just a moment.”
As if he didn’t need to hear any more, Joo Tae-hyun took out his wallet, took out all the cash inside, and stood up. The employee who had been hovering nearby widened his eyes because the amount written on the neatly folded bills was obviously large.
“Joo Tae-hyun.”
He immediately followed him, but he couldn’t bring himself to grab him.
He wasn’t crying out loud, nor was he seething with anger. Joo Tae-hyun was as calm as usual. His turned back showed no movement whatsoever.
That’s why he felt even more upset and sorry beyond words. If he could turn back time, he was so frustrated that he wanted to slap his own face and fix the twisted situation.
“I’m sorry, Tae-hyun.”
All Seo Baek-han could do was walk faster and walk alongside him.
“I was insensitive, I’m really sorry.”
“…It’s okay, it’s not Hyung’s problem, it’s-.”
“Why isn’t it my problem?”
“…”
“You’re right. I didn’t think about the person I liked and was just excited about my own feelings and did whatever I wanted.”
The fact that he wanted to take better care of him in a more decent place is no longer an excuse.
He didn’t know that Joo Tae-hyun didn’t like lattes, and that he would freeze up at the mere mention of a hotel restaurant.
Just imagining that all of his carelessly overlooked daily life would be shattered in this way made his heart clench.
“You can be angrier. You can swear at me… you can do whatever you want.”
Joo Tae-hyun remained silent as they walked out of the alley filled with the musty smell of oil and various spices.
“Tae-hyun, I’m really sorry. I know that saying sorry might sound irresponsible to you, but… I still want to apologize.”
“…”
“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. In the past, and now.”
As Seo Baek-han rattled off apologies that he hadn’t even been granted, he finally brought up the words he had wanted to postpone until the very end.
“I won’t… appear in front of you again.”
That declaration was certainly unexpected, as Joo Tae-hyun finally showed a reaction. Joo Tae-hyun’s relentless steps also slowed down little by little.
The way he slowly stopped, the side of Joo Tae-hyun’s face that was briefly visible as he glanced back… from the beautifully raised bridge of his nose to his long eyelashes, to the shape of his slightly parted lips, there was nothing that wasn’t beautiful, and it felt like he would never be able to forget Joo Tae-hyun in this moment.
“From now on, you won’t have to feel uncomfortable because of me, whether it’s domestically or abroad. If there’s an event you’re attending, I’ll avoid it no matter what, so…”
Seo Baek-han repeated “so” and finally opened his mouth.
“Could you give me a chance to sincerely apologize to you, even just for the remaining time?”
“…”
“I won’t say anything about dates or anything like that. I won’t make excuses that I just wanted to take care of you anymore. It’s okay if we just see each other briefly at that diner from earlier.”
So, while I’m here, could you just be angry at me as much as you want?
I want you to throw away the resentment and sadness inside you that even you didn’t know about, even if it’s just a small fragment, to me. I don’t even dare to hope that I can share your pain.
“I know that this offer, no, this request, might sound like coercion to you. But… I just want to do something like this for you one last time.”
As soon as he returns to the Korean Empire, he will have to resume the divorce proceedings that he had been postponing until the very end. All Seo Baek-han wanted was not to divorce Joo Tae-hyun, but now he will not even think about it in his dreams. Seo Baek-han now deeply realized that even holding onto faint hope alone was something he couldn’t do to Joo Tae-hyun.
If there are any conditions that Joo Tae-hyun or the DH Group wants, he will grant them all. But what’s the use of it all? Even if Seo Baek-han gives up everything he owns, he won’t be able to put Joo Tae-hyun’s broken heart back together.
“You don’t have to answer right away. I have some contract to settle anyway, so I have to stop by your house… I mean, the house next to where you live tomorrow. If you don’t come out then, I’ll take it as a refusal, and I’ll prepare to return home right away.”
“…”
“Secretary Nam will contact you instead of me. Is that okay?”
Joo Tae-hyun only fiddled with his phone without saying anything. He kept staying in the same place, so he wondered if he had called an Uber. He wanted to call a driver to take him home, but… that would also be something he did for his own comfort. Kindness that he never asked for is ultimately no different from violence. He realized that painfully just a few minutes ago, after hurting Joo Tae-hyun again.
For the ten or so minutes he waited for the car he had called to arrive, Seo Baek-han stood in the way of the fierce wind that scratched his skin like an awl.
He surrounded him at an ambiguous angle, hoping that Joo Tae-hyun wouldn’t be cold even a little, but Joo Tae-hyun didn’t seem to care. He didn’t even have the strength to reject him, as if he had never asked for such kindness, and his heart ached.
What he said while crying was right. Even if he knelt down and begged, everything couldn’t be undone. It’s not like a dead child can come back to life.
Looking back, any strategy was useless in front of Joo Tae-hyun from the beginning. He even ended up nodding at his somewhat clumsy proposal. No matter what excuse he made, impulsively marrying the same Alpha, a man at that, was not like him… but he didn’t know it at all back then. That he had a crush on Joo Tae-hyun, and that his heart was growing little by little.
Joo Tae-hyun remained silent while waiting, and left without saying goodbye as soon as the car arrived.
Maybe today is really the last day.
No, it definitely will be. What’s so pretty about him that Joo Tae-hyun would meet him again?
Seo Baek-han remained standing there for a long time after that, as if he were nailed to the spot. His cheeks were flushed red, as if he had been slapped by the icy wind that was scratching him wildly, until they were swollen and sore.
For a very long time.
* * *
2 PM.
The house issue was actually nothing to settle. Even if there was, he would have his secretaries solve it so that they wouldn’t have to worry about it.
The only things given to Seo Baek-han right now were not to ruin his body any further, as Secretary Nam pleaded, and not to rely on Joo Tae-hyun’s pheromone to be confident in his recovery.
He still couldn’t believe it, but he was trying to accept that he was completely over with Joo Tae-hyun as of yesterday.
A chance to sincerely apologize? To let him vent his anger as much as he wanted? There’s no reason for Joo Tae-hyun to give him something like that.
Just to make his own heart feel better, to admit that he was really over with Joo Tae-hyun… for that reason, he had been wandering around his house since dawn. He had asked Secretary Nam to mention it to Joo Tae-hyun around 1 PM, but he couldn’t stand it and had stormed out of the hotel.
He was leaning slightly against the corner so as not to be an eyesore to Joo Tae-hyun’s sight as much as possible, but he couldn’t avoid attracting the attention of the passing neighbors because the bouquet he had prepared was too flashy.
“Oh my, is it a first date? Or an anniversary?”
“The bouquet is so pretty. I hope it goes well today!”
As he wandered around Joo Tae-hyun’s house with a huge bouquet that was too heavy to hold with both hands, passersby added various comments.
It’s good that the flowers are big, but don’t you have a gift? If you take this kneeling position when the door opens and someone comes out, you’ll succeed. What are your plans after that…
Seo Baek-han just replied appropriately, hoping that Joo Tae-hyun wouldn’t know about this commotion.