By Zephyria 
A date?
The impact wasn’t as great as when he’d called him cute, but it still left Joo Tae-hyun dumbfounded.
“You don’t have to go far. Just having a meal together like this, taking a little walk… that’s enough for me.”
He wouldn’t be a bother, he knew Tae-hyun was busy with the lab, but he had to eat anyway, right? Just let him tag along then… Seo Baek-han’s request, no, his plea, was uncharacteristically small, but on the other hand, the fact that even his plea felt indifferent was just like the usual Seo Baek-han.
“If it’s just a meal, then.”
Noticing that he had indirectly mentioned that he didn’t like the expression “date,” Seo Baek-han stroked his chin, looking troubled.
“Hmm. Formality is important in these things.”
“So you’re saying you don’t want a date.”
When he spat it out bluntly, Seo Baek-han burst into laughter. Laughing like that at something so trivial, calling him cute over something so insignificant.
Because of that, Joo Tae-hyun was utterly bewildered.
The anger that had felt like his insides were about to burst, the apathy towards everything to the point where he wouldn’t care even if he died tomorrow, all of it was gone, and he was just having a normal conversation with Seo Baek-han…
This shouldn’t be happening.
This isn’t right.
For me, or for Hyung.
“Still, I’m grateful you agreed. Thank you.”
“You should soak up as much of my pheromone as possible before you go back to Korea.”
“Why are you so kind, you?”
“I know how draining imprinting pains can be.”
Anyway, Tae-hyun, you’re too kind, too sweet… Seo Baek-han, who was about to continue with such trivial jokes, visibly stiffened.
“I would have helped even if it wasn’t Hyung.”
Because there had never been a time when he hated being born a shifter as much as when he had imprinted on Hyung.
The added words were close to a whisper, but Seo Baek-han managed to understand and nodded briefly. If he had continued with such nonsense as before, he would have stormed out of his seat, but the quick-witted Seo Baek-han quietly shut his mouth.
Suddenly, Joo Tae-hyun wanted to yell at him. Without even knowing what he wanted to say, he just wanted to hurl abuse at him.
This… isn’t good.
The peace within him, which had been worn down and dulled, and which he thought had become solid, was slowly breaking apart. Seo Baek-han, wearing a different shell than before, was starting to chip away at it from the edges, and his heart, which had shrunk endlessly, was being whittled away and broken again.
「Here’s your order. Enjoy your meal.」
The awkward silence was broken by the sound of the employee placing the tray down with a thud.
Since they came here so often, shouldn’t the service be getting better…? Why do the dishes they serve keep getting worse? The vegetables stuffed between the bread were barely alive, and the bacon looked far too salty at first glance.
“Let’s just eat quickly and get out of here. How can this be a meal?”
Seo Baek-han grumbled but obediently picked up the sandwich that was served to him. Just salty pieces of bread that were definitely not to his taste.
A shabby restaurant that neither Seo Baek-han nor Joo Tae-hyun would ever have set foot in under normal circumstances.
Seo Baek-han pushed a sweet coffee towards Joo Tae-hyun and poured steamed milk from a tiny creamer on top.
Was he trying to make it look pretty in his own way? Or did he want to ease the awkward atmosphere that had suddenly fallen? In any case, Seo Baek-han poured the milk with flamboyant gestures, but the result was disastrous.
“It looked easy when I watched, but it’s not easy when I try it myself… this is hard.”
Joo Tae-hyun stared at the traces of milk that looked like earthworms crawling across the surface, not even close to latte art, and kept gulping down lukewarm water.
It’s a relief that Seo Baek-han has come to realize that there are things that look easy but are difficult. He knew it was mean and childish, but he even felt a sense of satisfaction.
“I don’t like this coffee.”
“Huh?”
A fleeting look of bewilderment crossed Seo Baek-han’s eyes, who had been feeling a little embarrassed looking at his latte art, or rather, the earthworms he had drawn with milk.
“I’m not really interested in coffee itself. When I’m with Hyung, it’s just… I have to drink something, so I chose this kind as the least offensive.”
Was it because he was the son of a chaebol family? He didn’t want to be told that he was picky because he had grown up pampered.
Seo Baek-han wasn’t the type to give someone a hard time for just ordering a drink. To be precise, he wouldn’t have cared what Joo Tae-hyun drank.
However, Seo Baek-han was always surrounded by many people. What he wore and what he ate would spread throughout Pyongyang in less than a day.
If his spouse showed even the slightest bit of pickiness in such a situation… He didn’t even want to imagine it. He was being torn apart at every opportunity, and he didn’t want to give them any more reason to chew him out.
Anything, just a menu that people usually order.
So Joo Tae-hyun chose to become someone without preferences.
Of course, Seo Baek-han wouldn’t have known, and even if he had known, it wasn’t his fault. It was he who had blindly fallen in love and volunteered to do something foolish.
“…Tae-hyun.”
“……”
“I really, really… didn’t know.”
I’m sorry.
It was a short apology mixed with a long sigh.
Joo Tae-hyun had been burying his face in the sandwich, intending to leave quickly, so he couldn’t see what Seo Baek-han’s expression was like at that moment.
He probably never will.
If he ever looks back on today… well. He would probably only remember the bitter, fishy taste and smell of tap water filling his mouth.
\ \ *
Immediately after being discharged from the hospital, Seo Baek-han stayed in a hotel not far from the hospital. He wanted to continue staying next door to Joo Tae-hyun’s short-term rental if he could, but he moved his residence because he thought he would hate it.
Above all, he had to train himself to live apart from him. Even if he could never see Joo Tae-hyun again for the rest of his life, he had to be okay so that he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.
“…But Tae-hyun.”
“……”
“Did I really not know your tastes this well?”
The lingering attachments that had been clinging to him so tightly didn’t disappear overnight, so he thought he should keep his face in his eyes from time to time until he left…
“Is the sandwich here that good? Enough to insist on this diner every time?”
“You said having a meal together is enough.”
“I wasn’t planning on feeding you sandwiches every time.”
Joo Tae-hyun silently finished the grilled cheese sandwich, even though he hated the taste of the salty cheese.
How many days had it been already?
Ever since he declared that he would no longer drink the coffee he didn’t like, Joo Tae-hyun had been sulking at him every time. He had tried to say this and that, but now he didn’t even answer, so it was lucky if he even responded like this.
But it was still good. It was close to Joo Tae-hyun, who wasn’t cruel, giving him pheromones for a while, but that was something.
“Let’s eat and take a walk.”
Exactly one hour a day, or less.
He was grateful just to be able to see Joo Tae-hyun’s face, but he couldn’t keep feeding him things like this. He wanted to feed him a proper meal, even if it wasn’t cutting steak in a place with a good atmosphere.
So Seo Baek-han shamelessly decided to rely on his kindness and beg one more time.
“I’m going back to Korea in two weeks.”
“……”
“I want to feed you something delicious until then, would that be difficult too? Not even a famous place that’s hard to book, but a restaurant attached to a hotel would be fine, right? The security issues would be solved to some extent too.”
Joo Tae-hyun silently cut the bread. But unlike before, the sound of the knife scraping against the plate became subtly sharper.
“Tae-hyun, I’m not trying to subtly cling to you on a date, I just don’t want to feed you this cheap food-“
Joo Tae-hyun struggled a few times because the hardened cheese wouldn’t come off the knife, and then dropped the cutlery as if throwing it away, unable to bear the annoying sensation.
He didn’t know if the slight displeasure on his face was because of the cheese that wouldn’t cooperate, or because of him sitting across from him. Maybe it was both.
“Do you want me to tell you what I’m thinking right now, honestly?”
“Huh? Uh, uh. Tell me comfortably. Anything.”
“A long time ago, when I barely begged you to let me eat out just one day a week, to spend time with Hyung even for a little while… where were all the places Hyung chose then?”
I don’t have any intention of leisurely enjoying a course meal with you, he thought he would be so sarcastic. The weapon that Joo Tae-hyun pulled out was much sharper than Seo Baek-han had expected.
“A hotel restaurant is okay? Why? Because you can roll around right after eating?”