By Zephyria 
“It took longer than I thought. I figured Al would have been yammering at you by now.”
Ashley said, sounding surprised. A thought flashed through Koi’s mind, and he quickly asked.
“No way, did you deliberately say that to Al? Why?”
Was he so sure I wouldn’t back down, no matter what I heard?
As a corner of his heart grew cold, Ashley opened his mouth.
“It wouldn’t change anything even if you knew that.”
He narrowed his eyes and gave a faint smile. Koi suddenly felt like he was seeing Ashley for the first time, a stranger. Was that really Ash? Where was the man I loved so dearly? Who was this person?
“You didn’t… love me?”
Koi barely managed to open his mouth. He knew how pathetic the question was, but he couldn’t help but ask. Ashley exhaled smoke with a soft “huff” and opened his mouth as Koi looked up at him, desperately hoping Ashley would say it was all a joke.
“I told you, I love you.”
Who could believe words of love spoken in such a cold voice? Ashley continued speaking indifferently towards Koi, whose face had turned pale and rigid.
“It’s the same now. I want you to be happy. Truly, with all my heart.”
He placed his cigarette-holding hand over his left chest and smiled. Koi grew even more confused, his mind unable to function properly.
“I… I’ve only ever had you my whole life.”
Koi stammered, confessing.
“I’ve always regretted hurting you. That’s why I came all this way. I saved money with all my might to meet you…”
I thought we had truly connected.
“You never told me you were going to marry someone else. …I know it’s in the past. You didn’t know what I was thinking, so it’s understandable you could have liked someone else. But you told me, that it was only me. You said you only had eyes for me too, so how? And then you say you love me again, how am I supposed to believe that…”
Koi couldn’t continue and fell silent. His vision swam, but his heart ached relentlessly. Seeing Koi’s expression, Ashley frowned and laughed incredulously.
“Koi, what exactly did you expect from me?”
He said, his voice still laced with laughter. As if he couldn’t suppress a sneer at how ridiculous Koi looked right now. He shook his head and confessed with a sigh.
“You abandoned me.”
Koi felt as if he’d been hit over the head again. Ashley continued speaking with a smirk to the speechless Koi.
“Did you think I would forget that? Koi, you’re not a naive child anymore. If that’s the case, you should have realized that I wouldn’t trust you.”
Suddenly, his vision turned white before slowly regaining color. Koi, trying to clear his blurry sight, like a faded photograph, blinked several times and whispered.
“…Then, are you trying to get revenge on me?”
All the words you’ve said to me until now, the sweet kisses, the tender confessions, all those declarations of love.
Were they all just to hurt me…
The tip of Ashley’s cigarette glowed red as it burned. He inhaled deeply, then exhaled it like a sigh, saying.
“Koi, what good would come of doing something so petty? It would just be a waste of time.”
“Then what is all this? Explain it so I can understand!”
Koi finally shouted, unable to hold back any longer. He couldn’t bear it without screaming. But unlike Koi, who was overwhelmed to his limit, Ashley remained cold.
“Is there more to explain? That’s it. While you were preparing to meet me for the past 10 years, I was also making my own preparations.”
“Preparations to make me unhappy?”
Ashley chuckled at Koi’s question.
“Well, wouldn’t that depend on your perspective?”
He was playing word games. Koi felt like a commoner facing an unwinnable battle in court against him. Eventually, Koi completely lost his will and slumped his shoulders.
“What is it you want…? You wanted me not to have appeared before you? You want me to go back west?”
Koi felt like crying and quickly suppressed his breath. His heart ached at the thought of never seeing Ashley again, when Ashley let out an exasperated sigh, “Ha.”
“So? You’re going to abandon me again?”
Koi hastily shook his head at the sarcastic remark.
“I won’t leave your side this time. …Unless you tell me to.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Koi added cautiously, but Ashley cut ties with a simple statement.
“Do whatever you want, stay here or go back west. You won’t be able to abandon me again anyway.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Koi asked anxiously as he watched Ashley bring the whiskey glass to his lips. But Ashley glanced at him and replied nonchalantly.
“You’ll know soon enough.”
A sense of foreboding unsettled his heart again, but Ashley merely smiled and raised his glass as if to toast. After draining the whiskey in one gulp, Ashley glanced at Koi and suddenly asked.
“How are you feeling?”
“…I’m fine.”
Although he sometimes felt deathly tired, Koi didn’t say anything. “Is that so?” Ashley said, stroking his chin, then shrugging one shoulder.
“If you’re done, why don’t you leave? Or do you still have something to say?”
Seeing Ashley deliberately check his watch, Koi finally came to his senses. If he left now, he might never see Ashley again. He took a deep breath and steeled himself.
“I still do. I have something to say.”
When Koi spoke, Ashley gazed at him as if to say, “Go ahead.” Staring at his indifferent, perhaps bored, expression, Koi opened his mouth.
“Marry me, Ash.”
The smile vanished from Ashley’s face. Seeing his face harden like a mask, Koi gained confidence and spoke again with force.
“Marry me.”
Ashley said nothing. Koi stood tall, waiting for an answer, under his unblinking, piercing gaze. Ashley let out a short breath and frowned, laughing hollowly.
“What’s this sudden talk? Did you hit your head, not me?”
“I’m fine. Your ears aren’t faulty either. I asked you to marry me. I’m as sincere as you are in your love for me.”
Koi said earnestly and quickly. It would have been perfect if he had a ring, but it couldn’t be helped. Koi continued, seizing the moment.
“You said you believe I love you, right? And you love me too. Then isn’t it all over? We should get married, of course.”
Ashley fell silent for the first time, without a word. He seemed completely unprepared for Koi’s counterattack, but Koi felt no triumph. Ashley was likely rummaging through his mind, trying to figure out Koi’s intentions. However, there were no other motives. Koi was simply saying what he thought, just as Ashley had.
Just then, his mobile phone rang, and both their gazes turned to the same spot. The sound came from Ashley’s phone on the counter.
“I’m leaving now.”
Koi said before Ashley could answer the call. Meeting Ashley’s gaze, he spoke clearly.
“I’ll buy the ring. I wanted to give you the chance to propose, but you missed it, so don’t blame me.”
After stating only what he needed to say, Koi turned and walked out. It seemed Ashley called out to him from behind, but he didn’t stop.
He didn’t feel real even as he rode the elevator down. The tension released, and he finally exhaled the breath he’d been holding only after he exited the building and rounded the corner.
“Haaah.”
He let out a loud sigh and collapsed onto the ground. His vision spun belatedly. He had never imagined he possessed such boldness.
How would Ash react?
He couldn’t imagine what would happen next. The only certainty was his own heart. Koi had no choice but to trust himself and move forward.
Hoo, he took another trembling breath and a deep inhale when suddenly, his phone vibrated. Startled, he checked the number and frowned, tilting his head. It was an unfamiliar number.
It might be spam.
As he hesitated, the call ended, but it immediately rang again. Feeling compelled to answer, Koi cautiously pressed the call button and brought the phone to his ear.
“Yes, hello.”
He spoke cautiously, and a cheerful voice immediately came from the other end.
“Koi, it’s you, right? It’s me, Bill!”
“Bill?”
Koi exclaimed in surprise.