By Zephyria ■
Bangkok’s skyline was more dazzling than Jakarta’s. It was like the lights of a Christmas tree.
For Choi Hong-seo, a Christmas tree symbolized an ordinary home, a home free from financial worries, a harmonious family. A family sitting around a table laden with delicious food, exchanging warm words, children feeling safe through their parents’ presence and unwrapping gifts under their affectionate gaze. And behind the family, the tree would sparkle.
The Bangkok night view from the 30th-floor hotel room was not materialistic like Jakarta’s. It was cozy like a Christmas tree, evoking a virtual experience he had never had. It wasn’t the city’s problem, but Choi Hong-seo’s own heart that had changed.
Watching the Bangkok evening scenery grow darker in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, Choi Hong-seo turned away from the window without regret. He then sat on the edge of the bed and attempted an international call using the in-room phone.
“Regarding the ‘X-Boy Scandal’ that just broke. I want to report it anonymously. I don’t care about actor Go Ji-woon, who is currently being investigated, or the president of Sweet Entertainment. It’s about the wrong people. CEO Myeong Do-hoon of UB Entertainment. Myeong Do-hoon is the real pimp. And behind Myeong Do-hoon is Lee Seo-kyung of Hanseo Group. In any case, there won’t be an investigation into Lee Seo-kyung of Hanseo Group just because an anonymous tip was made, right? Still, at least… investigate behind Myeong Do-hoon.
Myeong Do-hoon is preparing to leave the country tonight. He says he’s going to Bangkok to see UB Entertainment’s idol group ‘Layered,’ but he’s probably trying to escape. If we miss this, it’s over.”
Choi Hong-seo’s voice occasionally became agitated or trembled slightly, but overall, he managed to finish what he intended to say calmly. There was no tremor in his hand as he hung up the receiver.
After glancing around the neatly organized room, Choi Hong-seo carefully picked up the camera placed on the bed.
Standing still, he deleted the photos one by one, from the most recent to the past. The business trip had been quite long, and he hadn’t taken even 50 photos. It took quite some time because he didn’t delete them all at once, but there was no need to rush.
“……”
As photos were erased one by one towards the past, the last remaining ones were of himself taken by Lee Hae-sung, and of Lee Hae-sung taken by himself.
Choi Hong-seo’s shoulders, which had shown no agitation, suddenly slumped. His shoulders shook violently with sobs. His nose and brow tingled. He hugged the camera tightly and waited for his emotions to subside.
After composing himself from his tears, he continued to delete the remaining photos. It felt like he was erasing his memories, his life, his existence. The very last. He hesitated for a long time before the photo containing his image. He gazed at it for a long, long time. He caressed that face with his fingertips for a long, long time. There was no way he wouldn’t remember. Even if he forgot his own existence, he could never forget the first and only object of his love, the sole Days of Being Wild of his life. He was sure. Deleting the photo wouldn’t make him forget him. It was okay.
Finally, he stood before the vanity and sprayed perfume. His hand didn’t have much strength, so it was difficult to press the spray. Chiiik, he couldn’t press it cleanly in one go, and a few drops of liquid trickled down his hand.
As his scent enveloped his senses, he found a measure of peace. After taking one last look at his reflection in the mirror, he left the bedroom.
In the suite’s living room, several managers and some of the members were gathered. Choi Hong-seo slumped onto a corner of the sofa where they were sitting.
“Hyung, I feel stifled. Let’s go out.”
“Go out where? Fans are already gathered in front of the hotel. Just stay here.”
“I feel like I’m going to die of suffocation. I’m not asking to go alone, I’m asking to go together… is that not okay?”
“……”
Only then did the manager look up from his phone, where he had been playing a game, and look at Choi Hong-seo. The manager with a higher position, who had been playing poker at the dining table in the back, gathered his cards and said:
“Alright, it’s unusual for Hong-seo to want to go out. Take him with you.”
As his permission was granted, Choi Hong-seo, as if he had been waiting, stepped out again.
“Let’s go to a rooftop bar.”
“Rooftop?”
A member, who had been idly watching an OTT channel on TV, brightened up and joined the conversation.
“Yeah, Hyung! They say Bangkok has famous rooftop bars. There are so many!”
“This place is a hot spot these days. Let’s go here.”
The bored members actively debated which bar to go to. As long as it was a rooftop bar, Choi Hong-seo didn’t mind.
The members took longer than usual to get ready to go out. In the meantime, Choi Hong-seo waited, staring blankly at the night view outside the window. There was no reason to rush. There was plenty of time.
The rooftop bar, visited by several managers and some of the ‘Layered’ members, was packed with stylishly dressed people.
Trendy music played at a loud volume, and the interior was luxurious. The members, excited to be out in a place with many people their age after a long time, took photos of each other and asked managers to take pictures with them. They invited Choi Hong-seo to join them a few times, but he no longer wanted to take pictures.
A fresh breeze blew under a sky with few clouds. The endless lights spread beyond the railing of the 32nd-floor rooftop looked like starlight from the universe. Choi Hong-seo closed his eyes and inhaled the cool air.
“This… Ha… Fuck, what is this…”
A manager, who had been wrestling with his phone with a serious expression for a while, kept wiping his face and muttering curses.
“Why… what is it?”
The members, made uneasy by the manager’s behavior, fumbled and put down their cocktail glasses.
“They say the CEO has been arrested… What, what should we do… You guys stay here. I’ll go find out some things.”
He seemed quite flustered, so he handed the members over to another manager and quickly left to make a phone call somewhere.
It was done. Myeong Do-hoon had been arrested. Whether it was because of his tip-off or not, the reason didn’t matter. He had been arrested, at any rate.
Choi Hong-seo quietly whispered to the member next to him.
“Tae-joo, can I have your phone for a moment?”
“Why? To see the news? Don’t.”
“No, I need to call someone.”
The member, looking at Choi Hong-seo with suspicious eyes, glanced at the other manager who remained at the table. He was also completely engrossed in his phone, trying to find out about Myeong Do-hoon’s arrest.
“Where are you going?”
However, as Choi Hong-seo got up from his seat, the manager immediately looked up.
“The restroom.”
“Should I come with you?”
“No, it’s fine. There’s no one here who recognizes us, so…”
Taking the member’s borrowed phone and putting it in his pocket, he left the table. He went to a dark corner, out of sight and away from the lights, and unlocked the phone using the password the member had told him.
He clearly confirmed that Myeong Do-hoon had been arrested at the airport and that it had been revealed that he had forced X-Boy into prostitution and entertainment from before his debut until after. The news had already started being reported in Korea about 30 minutes ago.
After checking the article, Choi Hong-seo opened the phone app.
Slowly, he dialed the eleven digits he would never forget. No, he could only dial up to nine digits. He couldn’t bring himself to dial the rest. He just stared at those nine incomplete digits. He felt it would be better to just look, for now.
He quickly put the phone back in his pocket and returned to the table.
“Where are you going again?”
As soon as he returned the phone, the member grabbed Choi Hong-seo, who was about to leave again.
“I only made a call, I didn’t go to the restroom. I’ll go now.”
He smiled and left the table. He went to the bar, far from the table, and ordered a straight shot of the strong whiskey Lee Hae-sung often drank. From the bar, built higher than the floor where the tables were, the entire city could be seen in 360 degrees.
It felt like looking down at Earth from space.
He felt a sense of liberation, as if the whole world was at his feet.
He thought he had been enduring, holding on towards hope, but that wasn’t it. There was no hope from the beginning. He had just been deceiving himself to endure.
He wondered if meeting Lee Hae-sung was a reward for the time he had desperately endured, a sign that things would get better from now on, but that wasn’t it. It was the last kindness bestowed by God, a sweet daydream. Like how even the most wicked condemned prisoner is allowed to eat their favorite food or have one wish granted at the end.
It was fortunate that he hadn’t returned the words “I love you” to him.
I never loved him.
What he did to me was love, and I only received it.
Choi Hong-seo finished the whiskey to the last drop and put down the glass.
He looked at the happy-looking people, the universe on Earth spread beyond the railing, and the sky above his head.
He tried not to think of Lee Hae-sung as much as possible. He didn’t want the comfort of thinking he was sacrificing for him. This choice was simply to end his tattered past, from himself, who had become so weary, so exhausted, so diminished that he barely existed.
The warp and weft of endless thoughts stopped moving. The arteries that had raged like a madman grew quiet.
Or, I could provide X-Boy and the Vice President as a set. If you love someone, you should always be together.
Can Hong-seo hold out this time? What do you think?
This was Choi Hong-seo’s prepared answer to Lee Seo-kyung’s last act of grace.
One, two… three… Choi Hong-seo folded his fingers one by one, as was his habit, but suddenly felt it was an unnecessary moment.
May this be love. Even if it is the most trivial and foolish way, may this at least be a form of love. May it become love.
I love you. I love you.
■
X-Boy, a former male host at a host bar, claims he was forced into prostitution and entertainment from before his debut until now by a CEO referred to as ‘Rumor’s CEO A’.
As CEO Myeong Do-hoon of UB Entertainment was arrested as a prime suspect in the case, claims that the key figure in the scandal, X-Boy, is not actor Go Ji-woon but Choi Hong-seo, the leader of the idol group ‘Layered,’ are rapidly spreading online. Um…
Less than an hour after Mr. Myeong was arrested and rumors began to spread online… Yes… It’s unfortunate… Choi Hong-seo, who was in Bangkok for a performance… committed suicide…
Ah… Regardless of the truth of the rumors, this is a very unfortunate piece of news…
Choi Hong-seo, who had visited a rooftop bar in downtown Bangkok for a change of pace with two members of the same group and two managers, approximately 30 minutes after hearing the news of CEO Myeong Do-hoon’s arrest at the bar he visited… appears to have taken his own life.
Choi Hong-seo died instantly at the scene of the incident due to the fall from a height of 32 floors… and was transported to Bangkok’s Bumrungrad International Hospital by local paramedics who responded to the report.
…Now, this is… a photo of the hotel in Bangkok from which Choi Hong-seo jumped from the 32nd-floor rooftop bar. These rooftop bars, which are popular in Bangkok, have an open structure with no walls or ceilings, as you can see, and the railings are… only glass railings that come up to about the chest of an adult… Despite safety issues with these rooftop bars being raised multiple times, in the name of attracting and securing tourists…
…Some are expressing concern, asking if the entertainment industry’s ‘Curse of November’ has begun…
Carrot Seller : Hong-seo (10:19 PM) Carrot Seller : Where are you? I’d like to call you now (10:19 PM) Carrot Seller : Voicetalk (10:19 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:20 PM) Carrot Seller : Voicetalk (10:20 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:21 PM) Carrot Seller : Facetime (10:21 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:22 PM) Carrot Seller : Voicetalk (10:22 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:23 PM) Carrot Seller : Please pick up (10:23 PM) Carrot Seller : Voicetalk (10:24 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:26 PM) Carrot Seller : Choi Hong-seo, I’m really getting angry (10:28 PM) Carrot Seller : Not being reachable like this at a time like this (10:29 PM) Carrot Seller : Don’t you even think about how worried I am? (10:31 PM) Carrot Seller : Facetime (10:33 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:34 PM) Carrot Seller : Facetime (10:35 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:35 PM) Carrot Seller : Facetime (10:36 PM) Carrot Seller : Missed call (10:36 PM) Carrot Seller : Hong-seo, Baby (10:45 PM) Carrot Seller : It’s not like that, right? (10:45 PM) Carrot Seller : Please (10:52 PM)
■
This concludes Part 5.
There will be a break tomorrow, and we will see you with Part 6 on Tuesday.
Thank you.