By Zephyria “Ah, really… It wasn’t this bad before, but ever since the article came out today, the managers have been overdoing it. The other members are also sneaking glances, watching me. Am I some kind of bomb that could go off at any moment?”
Rubbing his face vigorously, Choi Hong-seo complained in a tired voice, a rare occurrence.
Yet, in truth, he thought the managers’ surveillance was justified. He felt like a bomb that could go off at any moment.
Jeong Ji-in told him stories to lift his spirits. He was grateful for the effort, but it wasn’t very effective. Even while listening to the story of the grandmother at the bunsik shop, who had been a regular since he was a trainee, Choi Hong-seo didn’t fall into nostalgic sentiment but was lost in other thoughts. He couldn’t focus his consciousness on anything else.
“Hyung… when you have something you really regret, what do you do?”
Feeling that the question he blurted out was meaningless, Choi Hong-seo gave a wry laugh and answered himself.
“I don’t think you have anything you regret, Hyung.”
[Who doesn’t have regrets?]
“Among ourselves, we used to say you were handsome and had a noble air… but seeing you live in the dorms, we’d make up silly stories, like maybe you were from a wealthy family whose business failed.”
Jeong Ji-in was the most dignified person around Choi Hong-seo. Though they didn’t share personal details, Choi Hong-seo felt a sense of refinement from him, like someone who had been well-raised and grew up upright.
That’s why Choi Hong-seo and Song Hyun-soo had envied Jeong Ji-in with a childlike heart.
Most of all, he thought that someone like Jeong Ji-in wouldn’t make the foolish choice of falling into the wrong hands like Myeong Do-hoon and ruining his life. Unlike himself, Jeong Ji-in was well-educated, smart, and from a wealthy family. Choi Hong-seo envied him because he thought someone like Jeong Ji-in, without any weaknesses, could go wherever he wanted, do what he wanted, and wouldn’t have to sleep with someone he didn’t want to.
“I was actually really envious of you, Hyung.”
[Of what?]
“I was just full of ambition, wanting to rise quickly and become a top star no one could touch… But you were like, ‘Mountains are mountains, water is water’…”
Huddled in the armchair as if to hide, Choi Hong-seo laughed weakly. Jeong Ji-in laughed with him, and their laughter soon faded into a heavy silence.
In the silence, a ripple of agitation stirred in Choi Hong-seo’s heart. He felt an urgent need to express his gratitude to Jeong Ji-in right now. A sense of unease, that this chance might not come again, shook him.
“You were like an antidote to me, Hyung. You know?”
Jeong Ji-in didn’t respond verbally. But Choi Hong-seo knew he was nodding on the other end of the phone.
A few more exchanges of vague, cloud-like conversation followed, hiding the core of the matter. Choi Hong-seo was grateful for Jeong Ji-in’s efforts to support him with all his might, but it wasn’t very effective. Unless he revealed the core truth, the comfort would only remain superficial.
[Hong-seo-ya.]
Jeong Ji-in suddenly changed his tone and called Choi Hong-seo meaningfully. Choi Hong-seo, with a vacant gaze fixed on the night view outside the window, replied listlessly.
“Yeah.”
[The person you’re meeting… is it perhaps Vice President Lee Hae-sung?]
“……What?”
He slowly sat up from his slumped posture on the sofa. A flicker of intense tension crossed Choi Hong-seo’s expressionless face.
[I had a chance to meet him by chance, and he vaguely mentioned someone he was seeing. It sounded like it might be you.]
Dozens of speculations swirled in his mind. He knew Jeong Ji-in wouldn’t harm him. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jeong Ji-in. It was simply that a chilling fear gripped him, the possibility that his single answer right now could somehow splash mud on Lee Hae-sung. This was no longer a vague, imagined fear but a vivid reality that had just arrived.
Swallowing dryly, Choi Hong-seo began to laugh. Not just his voice, but his entire face contorted in a big laugh.
“Ah, that old man… It’s true I had a few meals with him and others for Director Kang’s movie investment… but because I smiled and acted friendly, he thought we were dating on his own.”
To make his act more convincing, Choi Hong-seo jumped up from the sofa. He paced around the sofa, biting his lip nervously, and raised his voice to a level that seemed somewhat exaggerated. While his voice could be faked, the hand holding the phone trembled.
“They’re important people, movie investors. So, would I stand there with a scowl? Ah… that old man is a real rojin, a rojin.”
[A ojin?]
Jeong Ji-in asked from the other end of the phone. Rojin. It was slang used in the entertainment industry, something someone like Jeong Ji-in wouldn’t know.
Choi Hong-seo stopped pacing in front of the floor-to-ceiling window. He bowed his head deeply. He clenched his hand, which hung limply, the hand that had “I love you” engraved on it.
“No… I mean rojin… romance jinsang… In this line of work, I was just being friendly… he’s a jinsang who mistook it for dating.”
For whatever reason, the fact that he was denying Lee Hae-sung, his love, made his own existence feel hollow. It was more painful than the time he suffered at the hands of Lee Seo-kyung. It felt like his torn heart was being burned by fire. Hot tears welled up endlessly, pooling at his chin before falling.
He clenched his left hand tighter, tighter, as if never to let go of what was inside.
To hide the fact that he was crying, Choi Hong-seo spoke in an even smaller voice, reinforcing his statement.
“Anyway, that old man has nothing to do with it. He’s just… a naive old man who only knows work.”
He wiped his tears with his balled fist. He raised his head and faced the night before him.
From the very beginning, not for a single moment, had Lee Hae-sung intended to easily manipulate him with his advantageous position or money. Even his playful tone and sly expressions weren’t his usual demeanor. Because he was Lee Hae-sung of ARA, the top of the top, he had tried to make it easier for me to approach him. It was his consideration and love shown only to me.
He couldn’t let that person’s name be mentioned alongside X-Boy. The public, after all, had no interest in the truth. Choi Hong-seo knew that better than anyone. Once branded as X-Boy, even if a far greater truth were revealed behind it, people would remember him not as a victim, but as an idol involved in a dirty sex scandal.
Whether he believed Choi Hong-seo or not… Jeong Ji-in let out a deep sigh and said in a calm tone.
[Yoon Joo-ho is going on a business trip to China in early November.]
Yoon Joo-ho was the lead actor in a drama Jeong Ji-in was heavily filming. Because he was going on a business trip, they rushed to film scenes featuring only other actors, which meant Jeong Ji-in’s filming would ease up when Yoon Joo-ho returned.
[I’ll come to see you then. I can’t stay long, but I can take a day or two off.]
“That’s okay. By then, I’ll probably be in Bangkok… Why spend 12 hours round trip on a plane just for a day or two?”
[I’m thinking of taking a short break myself, like a vacation.]
“Then, I guess… I’ll tell the managers and let you know my schedule.”
[And… there’s someone I want to introduce you to. Let’s meet then.]
The person he wanted to introduce was clearly a lover. Knowing Jeong Ji-in, who had lived a rather dry life, Choi Hong-seo was genuinely happy and pleased about this. He thought it was great and felt relieved. He really wanted to meet Jeong Ji-in’s lover.
I have someone I want to introduce to you too.
As he was about to say this, Choi Hong-seo changed his mind and firmly closed his lips.
[Hong-seo-ya, let’s hang in there. As time passes, situations change, and things that seem impossible now might open up… You have to endure to seize opportunities. Let’s endure. Okay?]
Choi Hong-seo couldn’t answer. Looking down at the cars and trees that seemed so small far below, he remained in heavy silence.
After ending the call with Jeong Ji-in, his body felt heavy, like wet cotton. He only then realized he had broken out in a cold sweat, so much so that his back was damp. Choi Hong-seo glanced towards the door. He needed to seize an opportunity to check how the X-Boy Scandal was unfolding.
As soon as he opened the portal app, his phone vibrated in his hand. As the screen lit up, the contact name ‘Investor’ appeared.
Even though it wasn’t a video call, Choi Hong-seo unconsciously checked his face in the car window. He frantically wiped away any traces of tears with his hand. Taking a deep breath, he counted to five, one, two, three… folding his fingers. It had been a long time since he counted before a call. And it was the first time it was due to fear he wanted to avoid, not excited anticipation.
“Hello.”
[Oh? It connected. You were on the phone earlier.]
“Ah, Ji-in Hyung called.”
[He must have called because he was worried.]
“Yes… I guess so.”
After the news of Go Ji-woon’s suicide attempt broke, he had also spoken with Lee Hae-sung. Unaware that the X-Boy Scandal was linked to Choi Hong-seo, Lee Hae-sung had carefully expressed concern about the shock Choi Hong-seo must have felt over Go Ji-woon.
“I told him you said you might come to Bangkok for a bit while I was there.”
He deliberately brought up a bright topic to reassure Lee Hae-sung, to show he wasn’t just moping around.
[Did he?]
A surprised voice was followed by an excited one.
[Actually, I was also quietly working on coming to Bangkok to see you.]
Choi Hong-seo’s steps, as he slowly paced in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, suddenly stopped.
“Bangkok…?”