By Zephyria Even if it weren’t for Michael pestering me to make him a sibling, spending the night with Lady Seiren remained a significant task for me. To this day, I had never even shared a simple kiss with Lady Seiren. …At least, not that I could recall.
Five years had passed since our marriage, yet I still felt awkward discussing such matters with her. It was partly because I had long considered her an unattainable, dreamlike partner, and partly due to that damned bluebird I had foolishly brought upon myself.
In the Sierran Empire, love was a value placed above all else. Therefore, all topics related to love were discussed in considerable detail, regardless of age, gender, or social status.
Art, including various oil paintings and sculptures, as well as plays and musicals, depicted lovers and couples entering the bedroom together. And it was a cliché of clichés for those who entered and exited the bedroom to emerge holding their children.
Naturally, that bluebird story also originated from here.
Of course, adult art books often discussed more profound acts. However, no one openly blabbered about such matters in places where children could see. It was a consideration from adults to prevent young children under fifteen from imitating the act.
Now, every Tuesday and Friday, I presented flowers to Lady Seiren. Her jewelry box was adorned with gems I had gifted her, and when we went for walks, I held her hand to escort her. Before sleeping, we shared a deep embrace.
And all of these actions were things a ten-year-old child who believed in the bluebird might do…
No matter how I thought about it, I had made the wrong first move. Lady Seiren and I had spent too long in awkward silence due to misunderstandings. What if I became awkward with Lady Seiren again now, at a time when I could hold her hand and escort her? I was terrified of taking a step forward only to fall back.
Whenever Michael brought up the topic of a sibling, Lady Seiren would excuse herself. Perhaps it was her gentle way of refusing. If I were Lady Seiren, I wouldn’t want to… do such things with me either.
With my mind full of various worries, I looked into the mirror.
I had thick, coarse hair like a black ram and red eyes. In this Sierran Empire where lighter hair and eye colors were considered more beautiful, my hair and eye color offered no significant advantage. Was my body good? Not at all. I had little appetite and no great talent for exercise. I was better than I was as a teenager, but even looking at it generously, I was a gaunt and unremarkable figure.
On the other hand, what about Lady Seiren? Even while I was confined to Earldom Ernhardt, she was a renowned beauty throughout the empire. The Duke Valentia family had a tradition of inheriting pink or light purple hair, but no one had possessed such a radiant light pink hair color as Lady Seiren in the past hundred years.
Was it just her hair color? Even morning dew drops rolling on flower petals didn’t seem as clear and pure as she did. Her clear, deep eyes, her well-defined nose, her lips that looked softer and more moist than flower petals, her gentle jawline, and her long, slender neck and shoulders were worthy of endless praise. The gossipmongers who claimed they wanted to collapse on the spot every time she blinked were all speaking truths born from undeniable reality.
And what about her attire? The merchants of Ernhardt primarily dealt in agricultural products, so they lived without knowledge of luxury goods. Whether it was the chicken or the egg, the people of the Ernhardt family were also out of fashion regardless of their wealth. My parents and the Ernhardt family for generations had been oblivious to social circles, yet they managed to live well.
I was no different. Even combining all my seasonal clothing wouldn’t fill four carriages. However, seventeen carriages arrived at this mansion when Lady Seiren moved to Ernhardt. The fact that her summer clothes and accessories alone filled seventeen carriages further intimidated me.
Then, was her conversation skill good? I was very weak at initiating topics by speaking first. Even after becoming accustomed to seeing Lady Seiren three times a day with Michael, it remained so. The only times I could occasionally see her smile were thanks to Michael, who would strike up conversations when I remained silent, leading me along.
If I lacked confidence in my appearance, I should have dressed well. If I couldn’t dress well, I should have had good conversational skills. No matter how I thought about it, I couldn’t find a single aspect where I surpassed her.
I could faithfully and diligently serve Lady Seiren. However, presenting myself as sexually attractive to her was a separate matter. I tried to tidy up my appearance a little more, but it was not significantly different from yesterday to today. Occasionally, when I timidly changed the design of my cuff buttons, Lady Seiren would immediately notice, making me too embarrassed to try anything more noticeable.
However, before long, Michael, who had been constantly pushing and encouraging me, began to stand on his own.
The air had been unusually cool and chilly since the day before.
It was an early morning, less than a month after Michael’s birthday. We sat around the familiar table at the appointed time and received our meals. The warm soup was cloudy with milk, and the salmon sandwich was very plump, filled with chopped vegetables.
Today, two dark green leaves were stuck on Michael’s thin, shiny light pink hair. While Lady Seiren was smiling brightly, carefully removing them one by one, Michael suddenly said something frightening.
“From now on, you two will take care of your own breakfast and lunch.”
“…Huh? No, from tomorrow? Why?”
“I’m too busy with my heart to have time to look after Father anymore.”
“Pfft.”
Who was looking after whom. Lady Seiren’s laughter made me break into a cold sweat. It wasn’t entirely untrue, but seeing my son’s chubby cheeks with his stern expression made me feel somewhat wronged.
I glanced briefly towards Lady Seiren, who was covering her face with both hands and giggling, then my throat tightened with a sudden flutter of emotion, so I quickly turned my gaze back to Michael.
“Ahem, still, you are young, so even if you have lessons, two hours a day like now should be enough. There’s no need to cut out meal times.”
Originally, when a child turned five, most noble families would hire a tutor. However, the education for such young children was primarily for fostering proper morality and social skills, so they usually hired young, energetic tutors to interact with the child. Like my father and I, I hired a young man who had studied at Shierun Academy and preferred a stable life as a retainer over engaging in the Imperial Palace’s political struggles.
How busy could a life that was half education and half play be to say such a thing? Moreover, breakfast was around eight in the morning, and lessons with the tutor began at ten. I knew Mika woke up earlier than other children, but it wasn’t so early that she couldn’t spare time for meals.
“Now that your limbs are starting to mature, you must train your body. Forty hours a day wouldn’t be enough.”
Come to think of it, the leaves he had attached today must have followed him from the martial arts training ground.
“What time did you start running today that you’re so short on time?”
“From five to seven-thirty.”
“…Five o’clock?”
“Yes. After training for the past week, the time spent going back and forth for meals is a hindrance. However, I will still have dinner with you, so please don’t be too disappointed.”
“But Mika, you need to eat too, don’t you?”
“If I run after eating a lot, my body feels heavy and uncomfortable, so I intend to keep it simple. I will eat what I need, and if I need more, I will ask for it, so please put your worries aside, Mother.”
Lady Seiren, who had been smiling all along, also put on a serious face and joined the conversation, but it was to no avail.
However, isn’t it a bit strange for a five-year-old child to wake up at five in the morning and run for over two hours on the martial arts training ground? And on top of that, to immediately attend lessons and then train her stamina alone with a steel sword in the afternoon… Is that okay? So young, so small, so tiny? Isn’t that torture?
But unlike me, who was full of worry, Lady Seiren readily nodded and gave her permission.
“Yes. But this training is not your obligation. Your obligation is to eat well, sleep well, and grow well. I will allow you to do as much as you can, but if you get injured or it interferes with your lessons, I will stop you. So, above all, take good care of your body.”
“Yes. I will engrave your golden words in my heart and keep them in mind. Thank you.”
“…”
…So, the descendants of noble families receive harsh training from an early age.
And so began the routine of eating breakfast and lunch alone with Lady Seiren, and dinner with all three of us.
Michael kept his word well. He woke up at dawn and ran on the empty ground, swinging his sword until his shirt was soaked with sweat. I was so worried that I secretly called a doctor without Lady Seiren’s knowledge, but he said she was growing very strong and healthy so far, and just to make sure she got enough meals and sleep, so I just accepted it.
I spent my time away from my family mostly in my study. Lady Seiren, on the other hand, would sit with her maidservants to embroider or write letters in her private study. Lady Seiren wrote letters to many people very often. She had many friends, many family members, and many people who relayed news from the capital or the Duke’s family.
So, I would talk about the same or similar things every day, while Lady Seiren would always bring up new, lively topics that surprised and thrilled me. The meal times without Michael, who would laugh heartily at funny jokes, clap at Lady Seiren’s words, and listen attentively, were awkward and embarrassing no matter how many times they passed.
After dinner, Michael began to return to the martial arts training ground or his room early, significantly reducing the time we spent as a family. Perhaps because of that? The goodnight hugs we exchanged with Lady Seiren every night before sleeping also disappeared, as we spent less time together until we fell asleep.
I was even more sorrowful because I couldn’t show it.