By Zephyria There were times like that.
Thinking about it, what Ruben had asked of me as a birthday gift in Yulan before was not much different. Waking up early in the morning, eating the meal I prepared, and spending the whole day alone together in the room.
Even though I just brought up the food provided by the inn because I lacked dexterity and the environment didn’t cooperate, Ruben liked it so much. Recalling that day, I thought, “This is it.”
Seeing my agreement, Mother continued with a gentle tone and advised me.
“Since His Majesty is away for a certain amount of time each day, it’s not a bad condition for a surprise event. Even if I can’t make a grand meal, a breakfast pancake should be doable.”
“⋯Mother, you can cook too?”
“I can do simple things. There was a time when Asdel was sick and briefly had trouble with many people around him. I learned a little because I didn’t want to entrust him to others.”
“Indeed, who other than the Ernhardt Countess would offer to be your teacher? I will instruct you separately, so learn well. His Majesty has a very discerning palate, so it will be better than learning from street vendors.”
“Yes. Even if it’s not a proper meal, it’s good to learn how to roast over a campfire for travel. I won’t let my son starve wherever he goes, but you never know.”
It was good to listen to someone who had experienced it before me.
Mother earnestly urged me to ask her whenever I didn’t know something in the future. I felt much more trust in Mother than in Father, who stood beside me with an awkward expression, his face flushed. I gratefully nodded and was introduced to the family’s chef.
Annie, the head chef of the Ernhardt family, was a tall, middle-aged woman. Her shoulders and arms were thick, allowing her to easily carry heavy iron pots and water buckets. Her knife skills were also so proficient that she could likely cut down any third-rate martial artist with a single stroke.
Having fully mastered etiquette lessons, I now knew how to skillfully condescend to servants. I greeted the person introduced to me warmly, offered my hand for a handshake first, and clearly stated what I wanted.
When I told her I would be learning cooking for three hours a day secretly from Ruben, she laughed until tears welled up.
“To think such a day would come. You truly resemble Count Ernhardt, Mikael-nim.”
“Me?”
She said she had served my grandfather for longer than my father. I didn’t know if the Count Ernhardt she was referring to was my grandfather or my father. However, she looked up at me with a gaze as if I were something very young and cute and nodded vigorously.
“Yes. You try to express your feelings through actions rather than words.”
“⋯Hmm.”
“I will help you well. Have you decided what you want to learn to cook?”
“Pancakes, salad, omelets, and⋯.”
“And?”
“Custard pudding.”
“Pudding?”
Pudding that has aged for a day has a denser and stronger sweetness than freshly made pudding. Ruben, with his sensitive palate, suited anything fresh. Therefore, if I were to make it, it had to be a pudding with a light texture that seemed to float and melt on the tongue. Pancakes and omelets alone would be sufficient for breakfast, but I had the desire to present a complete meal, including dessert, so I said that.
“Alright. Pudding too⋯. Four dishes are enough. If you have the energy, I’d like you to teach me a few campfire-style dishes as well.”
“Yes. Starting tomorrow?”
“Yes. I’ll be counting on you, Annie.”
She wiped her dry hands on her apron and cheerfully winked one eye.
“You’re welcome.”
And so, the next day.
The first dish I made was pancakes. It was a very simple method: mix the prepared dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, mix the wet ingredients together, and cook them into circles on a preheated pan. As I mixed various unfamiliar ingredients after a long time, I was reminded of my alchemy practice days and got lost in memories for a moment.
However, the result was more terrible than expected.
“⋯Why did this happen?”
Annie shook her head, pressing the pancake I made with her hand.
“You should stir pancakes gently. It’s because you stirred the batter too quickly and too much. It’s best to mix the batter very gently, as I did. From the bottom up, like this, scooping it.”
“But I did as you showed me.”
“I know⋯. You did exactly as I showed you, so why is it so overmixed?”
I meekly lowered my head under her gaze, which seemed to say I was talking nonsense. I must have put too much effort into it, forgetting that I had more strength than her. I let out a sigh.
“⋯Alright. May I try again?”
“Of course! I’ll prepare extra ingredients right away!”
However, the second attempt was too under-mixed and tasted raw, and the third attempt resulted in a flat pancake because I lifted the pan too high from the heat to avoid burning it.
But on the fourth try.
On the fourth attempt, I managed to make a quite usable pancake.
“⋯.”
“Shall we taste it?”
I looked at Annie with great anticipation. She gave me a knife with the same benevolent smile as before. Tensely, I cut the pancake in half.
The fluffy interior was perfectly golden brown on both sides. I took a small piece into my mouth, and then tasted it again with syrup and the cream provided. I gripped my fork tightly with unbearable delight. Done.
“The shape is pretty good too. How about making it heart-shaped instead of round?”
“Heart-shaped? How?”
“By pouring it like this, and like this.”
“⋯Alright. I’ll try.”
“Pancakes get easier the more you make them, so tomorrow, while practicing omelets and pudding, I’ll prepare the pancake ingredients just like today. That’s all for today’s lesson! We need to prepare dinner now.”
“Yes. Thank you so, so much today. Please take good care of me tomorrow as well.”
“You’re welcome!”
Seeing her cheerfully smiling face made me feel very good.
After the lesson, we all gathered again for dinner. Since I’m not very good with words, my blood kin seemed to enjoy hearing my praises from my friends or Ruben. Discussions about the food served, what my parents and siblings liked, gifts Ruben had sent them before or souvenirs they would exchange in the future, and various matters regarding what needed to be done at Duke Valentia’s estate filled the table again.
Ruben was very curious about what I had done while he was away. Seeing my mother’s beaming smile, I said I had just sat with my parents all day and missed Ruben, which earned me a little teasing.
The cooking lessons continued for three more days.
To make omelets with pointed ends, as Ruben liked, I used over forty eggs for two hours. The salad, topped with thinly sliced red radishes so transparent that the other side could be seen, received high praise. The sausages, prepared to complete the meal, were easy to cook as they were already made, posing no significant difficulty. The soup was eventually decided to be served by me, with the pre-prepared soup simply being ladled into bowls.
And so, finally, on the day of the decisive battle, just before leaving Ernhardt.
Two hours before Ruben woke up, I carefully slipped out of bed. Silencing my footsteps, I dashed to the kitchen. Just as I had done with Owen before, my heart pounded with excitement at the thought of presenting a gift to Ruben, who was sleeping soundly.
I’ve done something foolish.
Ruben, sitting on the bed, looked astonishingly pale. The ashen-faced child, unable to even utter a sound, clutched the corner of the blanket. Upon seeing me enter the room, he widened his beautiful eyes.
The child’s lips parted and closed. Ruben’s face, which seemed about to let out a roar, crumpled as his gaze fell upon the tray in my hand. A single tear that fell across his beautiful cheek made my heart lurch.
Hurriedly, I roughly placed the tray on the side table and climbed onto the bed, pulling Ruben into my embrace. The child didn’t cling to me or push me away, but took several deep breaths, “Hic, hic.”
As if swallowing back rising tears, as if forcing out choked breaths.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It was me.”
“⋯Mika.”
“I was thoughtless.”
“Kiss me.”
Without a word, I cupped Ruben’s cheeks. The hasty plea brought warmth back to Ruben’s cold cheeks. Ruben’s cold hands slowly traveled up my arms and tightly gripped my shoulders, pulling me closer.
With a thud, I landed on top of him, looking down at the child.
“⋯I⋯.”
“No, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”
“⋯.”
Is this how one looks with such moist eyes?
Yet, Ruben smiled, his eyes crinkling despite his tear-soaked cheeks.
“It’s because⋯. I like you so much.”
“⋯What?”
“I like you so much that I get angry, feel wronged, and sad⋯. It feels like a dream. So I keep getting scared⋯.”
“⋯.”
I had no words to say. It felt like someone was raking through my heart, a sharp, aching pain, yet strangely, I felt like laughing. Could one even name such a feeling of sorrow, happiness, and overwhelming emotion? But the intelligent Ruben easily provided it.
“I love you, Mika.”
“⋯Me too. Me too, Ruben.”
My throat felt thick and choked. Waiting patiently for my unfinished words, I kissed Ruben’s cheeks a few times. With a deep breath and a great resolve, I managed to continue.
“⋯I love you.”
“⋯.”
“⋯.”
“⋯Surprised, sorry.”
“No, I’m more so. I should have told you beforehand. It’s just that.”
“I know, you wanted to surprise me. ⋯You wanted to do something I like. ⋯But why did it take so long?”
When did he wake up, and how long had he sat alone, replaying the time? Yet, he couldn’t complain fully and insisted he was fine, which tugged at my heart. I repeatedly stroked Ruben’s cheeks, wiping away the tear tracks, and answered honestly.
“⋯Because I wanted to gift you food I made myself.”
“⋯What?”
“⋯Hmm?”
“You, did you make it? ⋯That?”
It was truly strange. Ruben’s excited voice made my buried expectations surge to the top of my head. My heart felt restless. Hesitating, unable to voice it, I simply nodded once, and Ruben quickly pushed my shoulder. It was a signal to present it quickly.
Unable to laugh out loud, I covered my face with my hands and buried it.
⋯What am I going to do with this adorable creature?