By Zephyria 
Without a word, Dane asked again as if to confirm, met by Grayson’s gaze. Only then did Grayson nod slightly instead of answering. Dane, who had been staring at him for a moment, soon turned his body and said.
“Then that’s settled for now.”
It’s better to get past this quickly. Dragging it out will only make things difficult. I just need to be careful from now on, Dane told himself, placed Darling on the bed, and sat up. It was then that the forgotten clutter on the bed caught his eye.
“You, what is that?”
“Uh, uh?”
At Dane’s sudden question, Grayson readily turned in the direction he was pointing. There, he saw the bed piled high with all sorts of things. “Ah,” Grayson let out a short exclamation, erased the expression he had just moments before, and answered nonchalantly.
“My bed.”
“I know. What is that mess?”
Dane lightly tapped Grayson’s head with his knuckles, as if to knock, and chided him. But Grayson still just smiled sheepishly. Seeing that expression made Dane feel strange. Whether it showed on his face, Grayson blinked.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uh……”
Dane scratched the back of his head for no reason and said.
“Were you always like this? You seem a bit different from before.”
“Me?”
“Yeah.”
At Dane’s answer, Grayson felt his face with his own hands and tilted his head.
“I don’t know? Why?”
“Well……”
It was difficult to pinpoint, so Dane trailed off. How should I describe this? After a moment of thought, he just blurted out whatever came to mind.
“Maybe it’s because you’re smiling.”
At that, Grayson showed an unexpected reaction. He paused, looked down at Dane, and wore a bewildered expression.
“Me?”
It seemed he genuinely didn’t know. This time, Dane was surprised by his reaction. This guy, he hadn’t realized it himself?
“You didn’t know?”
When Dane asked, Grayson scratched his cheek and nodded. With his still bewildered expression, Dane recalled another strange point.
……Come to think of it.
He hadn’t been much different from now, even before. At least on the surface. He had been smiling all the time back then too. But if you thought a little deeper, it was completely different. Back then, Grayson knew he was smiling. But now…….
The large man before him was rubbing his neck in confusion. His reaction, clearly showing he had no idea what his actions meant and was troubled by it, made Dane burst out laughing.
“Ah.”
Grayson let out a short exclamation of no particular feeling as Dane deliberately pinched his own cheek, not hard enough to hurt.
“Don’t be dramatic.”
While scolding him, Dane smiled. Then, Grayson, who had smiled back at him, brought his hand, which had stopped in mid-air, to his mouth. Kissing each knuckle, he pressed his lips firmly on the fourth finger.
For some reason, the spot where Grayson’s warmth touched felt ticklish. The back of his neck felt hot. Dane tried to pull his hand away, but Grayson didn’t let go, instead bringing it to his own cheek. Kissing Dane’s palm with his lips, Grayson finally spoke.
“I just shared my Pheromone with Darling.”
His palm felt ticklish from Grayson continuously rubbing his lips there. Dane, paying attention to the breath touching his skin, pointed out.
“It seems you took overwhelmingly more?”
Grayson laughed briefly. His breath brushed between Dane’s fingers.
“It’s a misunderstanding, not at all.”
Dane was dumbfounded by his act of drooping his eyebrows as if pitiful. Boldly, Grayson added one more thing.
“We shared it very fairly. We took up just the amount we needed.”
He looked very confident as he said this. As if he had nothing to hide. Dane, suppressing the urge to laugh at his brazen reaction, which was like a child telling a transparent lie and being sure they wouldn’t be caught, deliberately put on a stern expression. Crossing his arms and looking at him, Grayson’s demeanor quickly crumbled. Seeing him avoid eye contact and look elsewhere, Dane spoke with certainty.
“Grayson Miller.”
“I was wrong.”
As soon as his name was called, he apologized. The next step was to confess the truth.
“……You haven’t fully recovered yet, have you.”
Grayson finally revealed the secret he had been hiding.
“I decided not to do it with you for a while. So I needed your Pheromone instead.”
Dane’s thoughts stopped for a moment at the unexpected words.
“You’re not sleeping with me?”
His reaction came after two or three seconds of silence.
“Yes.”
Grayson nodded and said.
“Besides, you were in the hospital, and I had to take care of Darling, so I had to come home. So……”
“That was instead of me?”
Dane, unable to wait, cut him off. Grayson readily nodded and smiled.
“It’s a good thing because Darling and I endured well thanks to it.”
What’s good about it…….
Dane looked at him, dumbfounded. He didn’t know where to start pointing out the issues. Or rather, strictly speaking, should he be praising him for being commendable? But there was a problem with that too.
“What do you mean, not until I get better?”
He swallowed the words “Even though I’m discharged,” and asked. Grayson answered honestly again.
“You coughed up blood that day.”
Grayson’s face turned pale. His voice trembled slightly, as if recalling the memory of that day.
“I don’t want you to get hurt like that again…… and I don’t want you to be sick.”
And you don’t want to worry me, either.
Now everything made sense. Grayson had been terribly shocked that day. Thinking back, his complexion had been pale all the way home and he hadn’t returned to normal. After that, he hadn’t done anything more than simple kisses…….
He had simply thought it was self-restraint until he recovered, but there was a deeper reason. Dane felt awkward, but soon another voice echoed from deep within.
Isn’t it understandable?
Looking back, Dane had faced death several times in front of him. In fact, his survival now could only be called a miracle. Grayson, who had even left Dane because it was too painful, seeing Dane cough up blood and collapse again, it was natural for him to be shocked.
Shouldn’t I be worried about him running away, not myself?
Recalling him rushing in, looking distraught, Dane calmly realized. If I’ve decided to accept him, I can’t let my actions cause him this kind of pain. Repeatedly getting hurt like this will wear down a person’s heart. Then all the feelings that have taken root in Grayson’s heart will disappear.
Wouldn’t that be too sad?
Dane raised his hand and stopped it in mid-air. He didn’t know himself if he had intended to touch Grayson’s cheek or pat his shoulder. Awkwardly, he brought his hesitant hand to his neck and rubbed the back of his neck, looking at Grayson.
Grayson was still standing there, looking down at him. His emotions seemed to have softened compared to before, but the reason he couldn’t easily speak was probably because they hadn’t completely subsided. It meant the afterimages of that moment weren’t easily shaken off. Thinking that far, he hesitated for a moment, then finally decided and spoke.
“Should I quit being a firefighter?”
“Huh?”
Grayson’s eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected words.