By Zephyria 
“It’s all my fault. It’s because I couldn’t control myself. Hyung, you are currently experiencing symptoms of a phantom pregnancy.”
Hae-jun opened his mouth and then closed it.
“Phan…tom pregnancy?”
“It’s because I wanted you to be pregnant so badly that your body is showing symptoms as if you were pregnant, even though there’s no baby yet.”
“Wait a minute. So, all of this…”
Hae-jun was so incredulous that he waved his hand, signaling for Lee A-gon to be quiet for a moment. Lee A-gon immediately shut his mouth and waited patiently.
“This… so all of this is because you wanted me to be pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“Can you really impregnate me?”
He had the ability to stop and restart another person’s heart at will. He could also make his body show phantom pregnancy symptoms based solely on his desires, regardless of Hae-jun’s will. Hae-jun broke out in a cold sweat.
If that was the case, wasn’t it possible for a man to get pregnant?
“I don’t know that either, Hyung. But.”
“But?”
“I’ve never tried it before… but maybe it’s possible…?”
Lee A-gon meant that he didn’t know because he had never done it. It meant it might be possible, or it might not be.
Hae-jun covered his forehead. Everything was confusing, but he tried to make sense of it. Then, a few hypotheses formed.
‘It’s not a pregnancy.’
‘Lee A-gon might be able to impregnate a man.’
‘Even Lee A-gon isn’t sure about that.’
‘Lee A-gon wants me to be pregnant.’
Slowly, a sense of reality set in. Hae-jun shook his head. Now that he had sorted things out, he understood. The truth was that the man he loved had tried to impregnate him.
“Hyung. Please look at me. Hyung.”
Seeing Hae-jun’s intense reaction, Lee A-gon clung to him. When Hae-jun pushed him away, he clung again.
“Why, why did you want me to be pregnant so badly?”
“I… I couldn’t trust your feelings.”
Ha! Hae-jun scoffed coldly and pushed Lee A-gon away.
“Because you’re so educated, handsome, and incredibly cool, while I’m just a middle school dropout. Your ideal type is a man who makes good money and has a good educational background, but I’m none of that. I’m so stupid and uneducated, and you like men like Kim Hyun! That’s why I…!”
“Don’t be ridiculous!”
Hae-jun shouted.
“When did I ever say I wanted a man like that? When did I ever tell you to be that kind of man!”
“You did! You did. You told me. You told me many times. You said you liked men like that, even though I’m only good at acting.”
Tears welled up in Lee A-gon’s eyes. Hae-jun clutched his chest. The milk had stopped the moment he knew it was a phantom pregnancy. His chest was no longer damp.
“I. I……”
His heart felt heavy, making it difficult to speak. Hae-jun gasped for breath.
“I like men who are good at their jobs and make a lot of money. Preferably with a good educational background too. Lee A-gon, did you even graduate high school? Can you go out right now and earn a lot of money?”
“Where would you earn big money? To get a job at a company, you need a diploma and certifications, but you’ve never studied that and don’t know how. You don’t have any of that.”
“Or will you be the one to give me money? Do you have the ability to borrow money from somewhere?”
Lee A-gon hated it when he went to work. He would beg Hae-jun not to go, crying like a neglected child. But Hae-jun had to earn money. He had to support Lee A-gon until he succeeded.
That’s why he said those things. He said hurtful things to him because he had to earn money.
But that was the case.
‘Is this all my fault? Because I said those things?’
He let out a hollow laugh. Hae-jun burst into laughter with tears in his eyes. He cursed as he pushed away the hand Lee A-gon offered. Just then, the car stopped in the underground parking lot, and Hae-jun immediately jumped out.
“Hyung!”
Hae-jun repeatedly pressed the elevator button. Fortunately, the elevator arrived on the basement floor. Hae-jun immediately pressed the close button.
Through the closing doors, Lee A-gon watched him. He could have easily stopped Hae-jun, but he stood there blankly, unable to reach out.
Upon arriving home, Hae-jun brought the large bag he had used to come to this house. He opened the closet and took out the neatly folded clothes, packing them into the bag.
Soon after, hurried footsteps approached with thuds. Hae-jun continued packing his things regardless. Although it wasn’t much luggage, it was scattered everywhere, taking time to find.
“Hyung! Stop it!”
Lee A-gon blocked Hae-jun, who was about to overturn the closet. Hae-jun pushed Lee A-gon aside and continued searching for his belongings.
“Hyung, why are you doing this?”
Lee A-gon’s voice turned pleading. Why was he doing this? Was he asking that now, not knowing? Hae-jun gritted his teeth and glared at Lee A-gon.
“I’ll study hard. I was planning to take the GED after filming the movie. I’m serious.”
“Ha!”
Hae-jun laughed in disbelief. Seeing his reaction, Lee A-gon knelt.
“I’m serious. I’ll get into the university you want. A four-year university in the metropolitan area… I’ll do that, okay? So please, don’t do this.”
Even at this point, Lee A-gon was spouting nonsense. A four-year university in the metropolitan area. What did any of that matter?
Hae-jun wasn’t leaving him because he was a middle school dropout or because he was unattractive. The reason he was breaking up with him was because you could manipulate my body as you pleased, according to your own thoughts…
“Shit!”
At that moment, Hae-jun cursed. A click. An empty slot and a slot suddenly fit perfectly. Hae-jun glared fiercely at Lee A-gon.
“The fluid coming out of my body. That was your doing too?”
Lee A-gon lowered his head, still kneeling. Hae-jun looked down at the crown of his head and asked again.
“Answer me. Was that your doing too?”
“……Yes.”
There was no point in evading the answer. Evading the answer here meant admitting it. Lee A-gon swallowed and continued.
“When I want to sleep with you… then your body reacts and releases fluid… When your body expels that liquid, it means I want to sleep with you… that’s what it means.”
The moment he finished speaking, Hae-jun slapped Lee A-gon. A heavy sound echoed.
“You son of a bitch.”
Hae-jun’s lips trembled. He was so wronged and furious that tears streamed down his face. He had never cried because of Professor Seok, but the man he loved had made him cry.
“You knew how much I was struggling with that, didn’t you? Because of that, I, I…”
His vision turned white for a moment due to extreme anger. Hae-jun gritted his teeth.
When Lee A-gon put his hand in, water came out of the hole as if it were fingerprint-registered. It was so embarrassing and abnormal that he couldn’t ask anyone about it.
When he posted about it on a gay community forum, he was just ridiculed. Hae-jun became more ashamed of his body. He had even wondered if he could ever date another woman if he broke up with Lee A-gon, given his body’s condition.
Then, there came a moment when Lee A-gon touched him, but no fluid came out, which made Hae-jun even more anxious. It was an exception to the rule he thought his body followed.
After that day, Hae-jun even refrained from going out. His body had become unpredictable.
During all that time, knowing he was anxious, Lee A-gon remained silent. Hae-jun couldn’t forgive him.
“Now I understand. Why you were so angry about my lie.”
His voice became icy, which felt chilling even to himself. Lee A-gon raised his head.
“So that’s why. Haha, now I understand.”
“Hyung.”
“You understand too, Lee A-gon? You broke up with me because of a lie too. You understand how I feel, right?”
Lee A-gon crawled on his knees and grabbed Hae-jun’s leg. When Hae-jun kicked him away, he fell but returned.
“No. I can’t break up.”
“Let go.”
“If you leave me, I’ll die!”
“You dare threaten me?”
“It’s not a threat. It’s the truth. I can’t break up with you.”
Lee A-gon clung to him desperately. He clung so hard that Hae-jun swayed and steadied himself against the wall.
“Let go.”
“No. I won’t.”
“Let go! I said let go!”
“No! Kill me instead!”
Lee A-gon wailed.
“You promised! You promised you’d have my baby! But you’re going to leave me because I can get pregnant? Are you lying to me again?”
“That!”
Hae-jun shouted. Pressure built in his head, threatening to explode. He opened and closed his mouth, then ground his teeth.
Yes. He had said that. Lee A-gon had said that if he said it, he would try to believe him again, so he had answered that way.
“If men could get pregnant, if we lived in a world where such a thing happened, then fine. I’ll have your baby.”
Hae-jun ground his teeth and glared at Lee A-gon as if he wanted to kill him. But were you honest? You didn’t say a word about your abilities. You never once told me you could impregnate me.
You didn’t lie, but you didn’t tell the truth either. You skillfully distorted the situation to your advantage. And in the end, you got those words out of me.
“If I lied, then you were not truthful to me. It’s the same as you lying to me.”
Lee A-gon’s eyes turned crimson, and a transparent film of water appeared. As he blinked, the broken film dripped down in drops.
Hae-jun left Lee A-gon and headed for the drawer.
Lee A-gon crawled on his knees and grabbed Hae-jun’s leg.
Hae-jun kicked Lee A-gon away.
Lee A-gon tenaciously returned and clung to Hae-jun. They repeated the action about ten times.
“No. No. No. No.”
His pants became soaked with tears. Lee A-gon rubbed his cheek against Hae-jun’s leg and cried.
“Hyung, please. I can’t live without you.”