By Zephyria 
“Then you and I are each other’s first? Oh, what do we do. My Hae-jun. My lover… I like it so much.”
Hae-jun’s eyes widened. He instinctively brought his hand to his mouth as if to cover it, and Lee A-gon’s eyes narrowed in contrast.
“……”
No answer was needed. In that moment, Hae-jun’s body conveyed that his words had been a lie.
“Ah, I knew it,” Lee A-gon murmured to himself. His voice held no trace of disappointment.
“That was a lie too.”
“Ah, no. That wasn’t a lie… it was a misunderstanding.”
Hae-jun stood up hastily. He fumbled to pull up his pants that had fallen to his feet, then approached Lee A-gon, only to flinch back. Lee A-gon’s eyes were too cold, making it difficult to stand face-to-face.
“I’ve always wondered since we broke up. Of the things you said to me, were any of them true? Were there any? I wanted to ask you if we ever met again, but you…”
“No. I’m telling you, it was a misunderstanding. Back then… I thought you were asking if I’d been with other men. So, what I meant was… it’s true I hadn’t been with men. But it’s not like I had no sexual experience…”
That’s what I meant.
Hae-jun’s voice trailed off. He didn’t know why he felt anxious when he hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just a misunderstanding. Lee A-gon had interpreted his words, “I haven’t been with men,” as “I haven’t done it with anyone.” Hae-jun himself had forgotten about it since that day and hadn’t corrected him. It was just a past incident.
“So what you’re saying is, half of your words were true.”
Fortunately, Lee A-gon seemed to believe Hae-jun’s explanation. Hae-jun nodded vigorously.
“Then I’ll ask again. Is it true that besides me, there were no other men?”
“Of course…!”
Hae-jun stopped himself just as he was about to answer immediately.
Strictly speaking, Lee A-gon wasn’t the only man Hae-jun had been in bed with for sex. He had a junior who had a crush on him. The junior, crying, had begged him to sleep with him just once before he went to the military, and Hae-jun, drunk, had attempted to have relations with him.
The problem was that neither Hae-jun nor the junior had ever been with a man before.
The junior somehow managed to get Hae-jun aroused, but penetration failed. It was bound to fail, as they tried to force Hae-jun’s penis into his body without any preparation.
After that day, the relationship between the two became awkward, and the junior soon left for the military. They hadn’t met since. For Hae-jun, it was truly a trivial matter.
But would it be trivial for Lee A-gon too?
‘Should I explain?’
Hae-jun pondered. He was afraid of how Lee A-gon would react if he told him about it. He felt he would be completely disappointed, thinking it was another lie.
“That’s right.”
So Hae-jun decided not to say anything. He felt uneasy about lying, but he was more afraid of disappointing Lee A-gon.
“You’re the only man.”
He hadn’t even kissed that junior. They had touched each other’s genitals a few times while drunk, and then the junior had climbed on top of Hae-jun, struggled to penetrate, and fallen off.
Hae-jun decided not to count that as an experience. To be precise, it was a failed experience.
“Hmm.”
Lee A-gon, who had been waiting with his arms crossed, loosely unclasped them. His demeanor softened slightly.
“I’ll go first. Come out a little later.”
“Oh, okay. Go ahead.”
Lee A-gon closed the door and left. Only then could Hae-jun breathe a sigh of relief. He zipped up his pants with weakened hands and let out a deep sigh.
Their relationship was precarious. Because it could break at any moment, he had to cling to it even harder.
Hae-jun gritted his teeth. He had to become stronger. There was no time to be hurt.
∞ ∞ ∞
On a crowded weekend afternoon in the Gangnam underground shopping center, Hae-jun coincidentally ran into a middle school classmate. A sudden slap on the back and a shout of “Hey, Park Hae-jun!” made him turn around to see a friend he used to be close with but no longer kept in touch with, smiling. They looked at each other and laughed, marveling at how they could run into each other in such a crowded place.
Such chance encounters happened a few more times. He met a high school teacher at a part-time coffee shop, and saw a classmate from the same university on a bus he’d taken by mistake. Experiencing unexpected encounters with acquaintances in random places was rare but certainly possible.
And it was precisely at this place that such a coincidence occurred.
“Hae-jun sunbae?”
A boy in a school uniform waved at Hae-jun. Hae-jun looked at the approaching boy with a puzzled expression, then his face hardened.
It was that junior. The junior he had almost had an accident with while drunk stood before him, smiling brightly. Wearing a school uniform meant he was an extra in a movie.
Hae-jun quickly checked Lee A-gon’s location. Fortunately, Lee A-gon was far away, talking seriously with Kim Jun-haeng. Before Lee A-gon could notice, Hae-jun hurried away with the junior to a corner.
“Are you discharged from the military?”
“It’s been a while since I was discharged. I took a leave of absence from school after discharge and am now attending acting academy. I want to become an actor.”
“You… your name is Byeong-su, right? Yun Byeong-su?”
“I changed it to Yun Hee-su now. Please call me Hee-su from now on.”
Yun Byeong-su replied with a slight blush.
Whether it was Byeong-su or Hee-su didn’t matter. Hae-jun urgently warned him.
“From now on, don’t act like you know me.”
“Why?”
“I’ll explain that later, but for now…”
“Ah, sunbae. I’m sorry. I have to go now.”
An FD called out, “Extras playing students, please gather in front of the auditorium.” Yun Byeong-su left Hae-jun and ran towards the call.
“Hey, Byeong-su!”
“It’s Hee-su!”
Shouting that, Yun Byeong-su left. At the same moment, Lee A-gon’s head turned in Hae-jun’s direction. Hae-jun quickly lowered his posture.
Fortunately, Lee A-gon wasn’t interested in Hae-jun. He exchanged lines with the actor playing the gym teacher, with whom he was supposed to rehearse, and checked their movements before walking away.
Three hours later, during a break, Hae-jun dragged Yun Byeong-su to the sports field. Yun Byeong-su, who followed obediently, tried to hug Hae-jun when they stood under the shade of a plane tree.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
Hae-jun dodged Yun Byeong-su with disgust.
“I missed you, sunbae.”
Yun Byeong-su tried to grab Hae-jun’s hand. Hae-jun pushed that hand away too. Goosebumps rose on his arm.
“I kept thinking about you in the military. After breaking up with you, I dated other men, but I couldn’t forget you. I guess I can’t be with anyone but you. After being discharged, I looked for you, but no one knew your whereabouts. Then, to meet you again here. We must be destined.”
Yun Byeong-su spoke his piece in a rapid-fire manner. Hae-jun made a gesture with his hand to calm him down, then said what he had to say.
“Don’t come tomorrow. No, just leave the shoot this afternoon.”
Yun Byeong-su’s eyes wavered at the sudden remark.
“Huh? Why me?”
“That’s…”
Hae-jun was speechless. He couldn’t explain the reason.
“Byeong-su-ya.”
“It’s Hee-su.”
“…Right, Hee-su. Can’t you just do that for me?”
“Sunbae, are you perhaps uncomfortable with me?”
“Uh, yes. That’s it. I’m uncomfortable.”
Unable to think of a suitable excuse, Hae-jun vaguely admitted to Yun Byeong-su’s words. If this would get rid of him, he didn’t care.
Hmm, Yun Byeong-su tapped his toe thoughtfully, then suddenly replied in a cheerful voice.
“Okay, sunbae. I’ll quit.”
“Really?”
“But then, please date me.”
Yun Byeong-su approached with a knowing smile.
“You don’t like dating within the workplace, right? I’ll quit, so date me.”
“Hey.”
“I know how to do it with men now. I can satisfy you sufficiently now.”
Is this bastard crazy? As Hae-jun stepped back, Yun Byeong-su moved closer by the same amount.
“You didn’t like what we did last time, did you? You couldn’t even finish last time. That won’t happen again.”
“Hey, get away.”
“Let’s date again. Okay?”
“I said move.”
And when did I ever date you? Hae-jun forcibly pulled away from Yun Byeong-su, who was persistently trying to hold onto him, but Yun Byeong-su clung on like a zombie. Ah, damn it. Just as Hae-jun was about to curse, truly annoyed.
“Why don’t you date him?”
A voice that should absolutely not have been heard was heard, and Lee A-gon walked out from behind the plane tree. Hae-jun turned pale as their eyes met. His heart pounded rapidly.
“Is he my ex-boyfriend?”
At Lee A-gon’s question, Yun Byeong-su nodded in confusion. This bastard, who is he trying to grab! Hae-jun quickly explained.
“No. I never dated him. Really.”
“……”
“It’s true, A-gon!”
It was 100% true, but Hae-jun’s words didn’t reach Lee A-gon at all. His eyes held no expectation. Lee A-gon was no longer disappointed in Hae-jun.
“A-gon-ah.”
Hae-jun was frantic. He chased after Lee A-gon, who turned his back on him without hesitation and walked away, trying to explain that it was true, that he had never dated that man, but Lee A-gon didn’t listen at all.
“Right. You can go home early today. There’s a cast dinner party today.”
“A-gon-ah. Please listen to me. I…”
“I’m also scheduled to receive acting coaching at the director’s house.”
“I really didn’t date him.”
“Tomorrow, you can pick me up at two o’clock. I plan to sleep late, so don’t come too early.”
“Are you listening to me?”
He was going crazy. He resented how twisted the situation had become.