By Zephyria 
Pressing hard and twisting his head, their lips parted on their own. Through the gap, Yoon Joo-ho’s tongue intrusively pushed its way in. Sliding his tongue over Song Hyun-soo’s, he invaded and scraped the roof of his mouth with his tongue tip.
“Hng, hck. Ugh.”
His fingers, supporting the back of Song Hyun-soo’s head, dug into his hair. Even the gentle stimulation of his scalp made him flinch. He curled his fingers and grasped Song Hyun-soo’s hair. The slight tug on his roots was electrifying. He unconsciously gripped Yoon Joo-ho’s waist tightly.
“Hng, mm. Ugh ugh.”
As if to push Song Hyun-soo into the back of the sofa, Yoon Joo-ho twisted his body further, pressing Song Hyun-soo with his upper body.
Creak. The sound of friction from the firm sofa leather under the pressure stimulated his hearing.
The sound of saliva mixing and dripping stickily, the sound of lips rubbing, swallowing, and licking, the sound of ragged breaths as they desired each other. Amidst it all, heat flared up in an instant.
“Haa, hck. Hng. Hmmm…”
Without closing their eyes, they gazed into each other’s eyes and passionately tangled. His tongue writhed, filling Song Hyun-soo’s mouth. It felt like a swollen penis inside his body after penetration. He thrust his tongue in so hard it was difficult to take.
“Ugh. Ugh… Hck.”
Their lips and tongues, which had been clinging as if they would never separate, pulled back. A thin strand of saliva stretched between Yoon Joo-ho’s tongue and Song Hyun-soo’s. He deliberately opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, making him see the glistening thread.
Yoon Joo-ho’s tongue, which had just kissed him.
Song Hyun-soo stared at the red tongue with eyes completely glazed over, as if he had just had rough sex.
“Hng, hck. Hck…”
Swallowing the lingering saliva, Yoon Joo-ho closed the distance and kissed him deeply again. Smack, smack. Then, a more viscous slurp. As he changed the angle of his head and kissed him multiple times, he twirled Song Hyun-soo’s hair, which he was holding, between his fingers.
Yoon Joo-ho pressed his forehead against Song Hyun-soo’s. They listened to each other’s panting breaths, unable to calm their excitement.
He spoke as if in pain.
“Another guy wants to do this to you. Should I just endure it?”
To calm him, Song Hyun-soo slowly stroked Yoon Joo-ho’s arm.
“I clearly refused, yet you’re still so angry?”
Yoon Joo-ho’s fingers still tangled in Song Hyun-soo’s hair, he met his gaze for a moment. Then, he turned away, picked up a beer bottle, and said gruffly.
“Because my current lover isn’t having sex with me. I’m so frustrated and my temper has gotten really foul.”
His temper has gotten foul?
“Any worse than that?”
“…”
At Song Hyun-soo’s teasing, he narrowed his eyes and looked back with displeasure. Song Hyun-soo chuckled, wrapped his arms around his waist, and rested his chin on his shoulder.
“There’s nothing we can do.”
“Our Ji…”
“No. I told you, you can’t come to my place until all the work is finished.”
Song Hyun-soo was firm, and Yoon Joo-ho, though showing his displeasure through his expression, didn’t insist or argue further.
Though they had managed to become lovers again, they still hadn’t had proper sex. Nor could they do it in his room at Seohae’s house. It was his room, where he lived temporarily and paid rent properly, but it was still someone else’s house.
Now that it was confirmed Yoon Joo-ho’s parents had planted an informant at the filming site, it was also dangerous to go in and out of each other’s rooms at Myung Hae-ri’s hotel. All they could manage were brief, secret dates in their cars, avoiding people’s eyes late at night.
He fiddled with the knit at his waist and tried to soothe him.
“It’s not just you who’s having a hard time wanting it.”
“…”
“Let’s just hold on a little longer.”
“…Alright.”
Despite clearly not being willing, Yoon Joo-ho conceded to Song Hyun-soo’s words.
They had dated before, and generally, he had been good to him. So while sometimes he didn’t seem much different from before, at moments like this, there was a definite change. Seeing Yoon Joo-ho obediently follow his words made him feel cute and ticklish, and he couldn’t help but laugh. It was also, for some reason, the moment he felt most vividly that they were lovers.
This time, Song Hyun-soo cupped Yoon Joo-ho’s cheeks and made him look at him. He kissed him, and Yoon Joo-ho narrowed his eyes, looking down.
“This again? Trying to coax me with kisses?”
Peck. Not that he disliked it.
“It’s not working?”
From beneath his lowered eyelids, Yoon Joo-ho gazed down intently. Then, in a much softer voice, he murmured.
“…Thinking.”
Look at him, pretending to be resistant when he likes it.
Ah, he’s so cute. So cute.
He stuck out his tongue and traced over his lips. His lips, thin and exuding an intellectual sexiness, were stubbornly closed. Using the tip of his tongue, he found a gap, and Yoon Joo-ho reluctantly opened his lips. His gaze fixed on Song Hyun-soo.
He slipped his hand under the knit, caressing his somewhat soft stomach, and reveled in the firm muscles of his broad chest. After a wet, tongue-entwined kiss, he fiddled near his navel and asked.
“Ji-in hyung… you don’t still have feelings for him, do you?”
“…”
Yoon Joo-ho’s eyes flickered greatly. He looked almost shocked.
“Why, are you thinking of him because we’re kissing?”
The question was cautious. His expression looked extremely anxious. Song Hyun-soo thought he knew why.
“At first, I even tried to overcome it. But after I found out about that, I couldn’t even kiss anymore. Every time I tried to kiss, his face kept coming to mind…”
He had said that before.
His fear of losing love was a different side of him. But this time, it wasn’t cute and lovable; it was heartbreaking.
No, Song Hyun-soo shook his head several times.
“It’s just, I’ve wanted to ask for a while, but the situation wasn’t right.”
Yoon Joo-ho’s arm wrapped around Song Hyun-soo’s waist, pulling him close. He brushed his hair back and stroked his cheek with his thumb, stating his position clearly.
“If I still had feelings for the past, why would I be clinging to you so desperately?”
“…”
Song Hyun-soo lowered his gaze. He had gotten angry at Yoon Joo-ho for hiding his past with Jung Ji-in and lying, but that past itself had been painful for Song Hyun-soo too.
Seeing Song Hyun-soo not answering, his arm around his waist tightened.
“Yes, if I heard news about him, I would get bothered and feel down. There were lingering feelings to that extent.”
“Ngh.”
“This was around the time I first met you.”
“…”
“But you made all of that disappear. You made me forget.”
He believed Yoon Joo-ho’s words. He wasn’t the type to lie just to make him feel better.
Song Hyun-soo placed his hand on Yoon Joo-ho’s chest, fiddling with the surprisingly soft knit.
“Actually, I’ve been avoiding his calls since then.”
“…”
“Jealousy… I can’t say I don’t feel it either.”
“Hyun-soo-ya.”
“But it’s not the kind of jealousy where I think he liked you more than me.”
“…”
“Believe it or not, I’m quite confident in your love for me.”
He raised his gaze from his chest and forced a smile.
“But separately from that, it’s also troubling. Knowing your lover had someone they dated before… it’s different from just vaguely knowing that.”
“I know. I know how that feels.”
“You do?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Just hearing Jeong Seong-won say those things to you made my blood boil.”
Yoon Joo-ho continued, brushing Song Hyun-soo’s hair back from his forehead.
“If I found out who the ‘neighborhood hyung’ was that you were playing hand games with, I’d probably be worse than you.”
Then, he kissed Song Hyun-soo’s exposed forehead.
“Even a dud round still produces smoke, right? You said that.”
“…”
“Yes, that’s right. There was smoke, and I coughed a bit too.”
Song Hyun-soo pinched his cheek. With a force that was slightly painful.
“Is that something you say to your current lover?”
“Listen to the end.”
Wincing from the pain, Yoon Joo-ho still meekly offered his cheek. Then he said.
“But a dud round doesn’t kill anyone. In the end, I returned to my original place.”
His hands, which had been around Song Hyun-soo’s waist, now cupped Song Hyun-soo’s cheeks. As if asking him to accept his true feelings without evasion, he held his face, fixing his gaze directly into Song Hyun-soo’s eyes.
“I won’t sugarcoat it by saying it was nothing. But this much is certain.”
“…”
“You are live ammunition.”
“You said… BB gun before.”
“If it’s a BB gun that can kill people, then it’s already live ammunition.”
If Yoon Joo-ho had spoken about his past like this from the beginning, wouldn’t they not have ended up here?
Suddenly, he felt the time they were apart was a waste, but Song Hyun-soo soon changed his mind. It was true that that time had made their relationship even more solid. It was a time where they confirmed they could never be apart, didn’t want to be apart, and couldn’t give up on each other despite any interference or risk. It was by no means in vain.
“I knew because I had experienced a dud round. Ah… this is different. I’ve been hit by live ammunition.”
Still cupping his face, Yoon Joo-ho rubbed his nose against Song Hyun-soo’s.
“Just look at me. Just think about how much I love you.”
A pathetic plea.
“Don’t ever say things like, ‘I don’t think I can do this anymore.’”
Yoon Joo-ho’s trembling eyelids slowly closed. Song Hyun-soo wrapped his arms around his anxious back. He rested his chin on his shoulder, pressing cheek to cheek, ear to ear, chest to chest.
“I won’t say that.”
He felt the past anxieties and pain slowly melt away in his embrace.
Even if it wasn’t visible, and people still walked the streets in padding and coats, spring was surely approaching somewhere.
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