By Zephyria 
“Lee San, look at me.”
Baek Kang gripped Lee San’s shoulders tightly.
“Listen carefully. You weren’t here today.”
“Where on earth did you get so much blood on you? What in the… hell…”
As if not hearing Baek Kang’s words, Lee San, his face looking like he was about to cry, slowly turned his head, wiping the blood from his face.
“Is that… Dad?”
Lee San stepped back, avoiding the dark blue blood flowing down to his feet.
“Hyung, you didn’t do that, did you?”
Baek Kang snatched the dishcloth from Lee San. He wiped the traces of blood from Lee San’s hands as he spoke.
“San-a, you need to leave right now. Get the fishing rod from the shed and slip out the back way to the beach. You got beaten up by Dad last night, and to avoid running into him, you didn’t even go inside the house, just grabbed your fishing rod and went to the sea. Got it?”
“Hyung is just a witness, right? You’re not going to jail. Are you?”
Lee San seemed not to hear Baek Kang’s words anymore.
To reassure the sobbing Lee San, Baek Kang forced a smile.
“When Dad got drunk, he used to go fishing with me for hours, remember? You know where that place is, right? Go there first, I’ll be right behind you.”
“No.”
Lee San coldly pulled his hand away from Baek Kang, who was meticulously wiping the blood off his hands.
“No? If you stay here, you’ll get suspected too! Do as I say!”
“No! He only killed someone who deserved to die! Hyung just… protected us, why should Hyung go to jail!”
Tears streamed down Lee San’s face as he shrieked. He roughly wiped his tears with his sleeve, then lunged forward and grabbed Baek Kang’s collar.
“Let’s say, let’s say we killed him together, Hyung.”
“Don’t say something ridiculous.”
“I’ll tell them everything at the police station! What that man did to me and my sister! Then, Hyung, you won’t have to go to jail. I saw that on TV!”
“Lee San!”
Baek Kang cupped Lee San’s cheeks.
“San-a, look at me.”
“…”
“It won’t be long, it’ll be quick.”
“…”
“Five years, ten years. You can’t even wait that long?”
Hic, sob. Lee San shook his head. It was unclear whether he meant he could wait or couldn’t.
Baek Kang wiped away Lee San’s tears.
“Compared to a lifetime, that’s a short time. Once you’ve paid your debt and come out, we can be together then. Without any worries. Freely. The three of us.”
Tears welled up in Baek Kang’s eyes as he stroked Lee San’s face. This was an emotional arc not in the script. With a face blurred by tears, Baek Kang, Yoon Joo-ho, smiled. Then, as if confirming, he added,
“You trust me, right, Lee San?”
The man before him was clearly Yoon Joo-ho, not Baek Kang.
His struggle, his desperate fight to break free from his parents’ unjust control and dominance, to protect his autonomy as a human being, to ascend to a free and high place. Baek Kang seemed no different from him now.
Lee San, Song Hyun-soo, sobbed. He clutched Yoon Joo-ho’s hands on his cheeks and nodded repeatedly, weeping.
I trust you. I trust him. Without the slightest doubt.
“…Cut.”
Even after the assistant director’s cautious cut signal, the two remained in their poses and emotional state. The strength in Yoon Joo-ho’s hands cupping Song Hyun-soo’s cheeks did not lessen. Song Hyun-soo gently rubbed the inside of his clasped wrist with his thumb. As if soothing an agitated beast. He blinked his eyelids and met Song Hyun-soo’s gaze. Then, he slowly took a deep breath and regained his composure.
They said nothing to each other.
It felt like it wouldn’t matter if they didn’t get an okay from the director. At least the two of them, Yoon Joo-ho and Song Hyun-soo, knew that this moment was the best.
Crackle, crackle. The director’s agitated voice came from the walkie-talkie held by the assistant director.
[Okay.]
“It’s an okay.”
The assistant director relayed his words exactly.
Hoo. Yoon Joo-ho finally let out a long breath and stepped back.
Song Hyun-soo also relaxed and exhaled. As Yoon Joo-ho pulled away, the heavy pressure that had been pressing down on his entire body seemed to lighten. Only then did the presence of the surrounding staff come into view. Even after the okay signal, the staff moved cautiously, given the explosive emotional intensity.
Director Jung Joon-hee rushed out from the monitor room set up in the living room area.
“There’s nothing more to refine or cut here. It’ll go straight into the final edit.”
He gave the two actors a thumbs-up.
“Really, Director?”
Director Jeong nodded with a pleased expression, looking at Song Hyun-soo’s flushed face.
“Yes, there’s nothing more to say. It was just Baek Kang, and it was just San-i.”
It felt like the highest praise an actor could receive. Song Hyun-soo, unable to hide his joy, smiled brightly and looked for Yoon Joo-ho with his eyes. He was also looking at Song Hyun-soo with a gentle smile.
Director Jeong looked back and forth between the two and asked with a hint of concern,
“We need to get more shots for the same scene. Is the emotional state okay? Or should I give you some time to immerse yourselves?”
The two actors looked at each other’s faces. Without speaking, they could read each other’s thoughts just by exchanging glances. Yoon Joo-ho, after a few eyebrow wiggles towards Song Hyun-soo, said to the director,
“We can do it right away.”
Director Jeong, confirming Song Hyun-soo’s nod of agreement, patted both their shoulders.
“Everyone, please pay attention to maintaining the actors’ immersion.”
As the director returned to the monitor room, the staff began resetting the scene. Yoon Joo-ho and Song Hyun-soo moved a few steps apart to get their makeup touched up. Even during this time, they continued to be aware of each other over the staff’s shoulders.
Amidst the busy and tense set, it felt as if their senses were connected.
The excitement of becoming one with their characters surged through their blood. It was a thrill incomparable to any dopamine.
Just like that day they first came to find Myung Hae-ri alone and acted in the dark, empty night. Yoon Joo-ho and I wanted to hide somewhere right now and get tangled up in a hot, messy embrace. I wanted to pour this burning passion within me onto Yoon Joo-ho, and no one else.
And I was sure. Yoon Joo-ho was feeling the same emotions.
His gaze, which seemed to verge on rage rather than longing.
His gaze, which stared at me as if I were an object to be grasped, devoured, and destroyed, told me his feelings.
I couldn’t stand those who tried to take acting away from someone like him. When the X-boy Scandal broke out. Back then, Song Hyun-soo could do nothing. He could only watch the black malice spread in real-time online, hide under his blanket, cry, and tremble…
What if I had flown straight to Bangkok then and stayed by Hong-seo’s side?
Or, if I had gotten Hong-seo’s boyfriend’s number beforehand. So I could contact him immediately. If I had urged him, saying, “X-boy is Hong-seo, so do something quickly.”
Even though I knew it was all futile speculation, I couldn’t shake off those thoughts. Even when living normally, regrets that blamed myself would pop up. While eating, while washing my hair, while washing dishes at ‘Jessica,’ and especially when lying down to sleep.
But this time, I wouldn’t stand by and let it happen.
I believed it was the only way to not let the painful lesson learned through Hong-seo go to waste. I will protect what is precious, and I will not let it be taken away.
■■■
Beep.
The phone placed on the sink announced the arrival of a message. Song Hyun-soo spat out the foam in his mouth and checked the contents.
《Come down to the underground parking lot in about 5 minutes.》
While brushing his teeth with his right hand, he typed a reply with his left. Al… righ… t. I… might… be a… little… late.
Before he could even put down his phone, another message arrived immediately.
《It’s okay. Wear something warm.》
After rinsing his mouth and coming out of the bathroom, Song Hyun-soo stood in front of the closet.
“…”
The orange padding jacket Yoon Joo-ho had gifted him and his own black padding jacket hung side-by-side. After a moment of hesitation, he took out the orange padding jacket and put his arms through it.
It was true that they had confirmed each other’s sincerity regarding his parents’ issues.
In the face of great pain and great danger, each other’s safety was paramount.
However, his parents’ issue, and their problem as a couple, were separate matters.
While he had no intention of glossing over things, he also didn’t want to punish him by acting as if he had no lingering feelings.
『“I’m just loving you alone.”』
Song Hyun-soo’s hands, which had been wrapping the scarf Yoon Joo-ho had gifted him, slowed and then stopped completely.
Some confessions could have a greater impact when not made directly to the person involved.
The confession of loving a man like me was a weakness in front of his cunning parents. It was like him offering his soft, vulnerable neck to his parents’ fangs.
That was probably his resolve.
A resolve similar to mine…
Song Hyun-soo’s stopped hands moved again, tying a knot in the scarf. He then grabbed the gloves Yoon Joo-ho had gifted him and stuffed them into his pocket. His reflection in the mirror showed him fully armed.
Where are we going that he told me to dress warmly? I thought we were just going for a drive to talk.
He tiptoed out the door like a thief and called the elevator. Since the main actors were all staying on the same floor, he felt a slight tension, worried about running into someone.
Just as he breathed a sigh of relief after safely exiting to the elevator hall, ding, Shin Hyo-jin appeared from the elevator that had come up from the lower floor to pick him up.
“Oh? Hyun-soo-ssi.”
Her face and voice were filled with a welcoming expression. Judging by her attire, she seemed to be returning from a workout.
“Where are you going?”
“Ah… I was just thinking of taking a walk.”
“At this hour?”
Come to think of it, it was already past midnight. He sensed his excuse was flawed, but he had to push through now that it was like this.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“It gets so dark around here after sunset. It seems dangerous.”
“I’m going with my manager.”
“Ah, really? Did you say that manager was your friend?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Only then did Shin Hyo-jin smile with relief.
“Have a good trip.”
“Yes, Sunbae-nim. Please sleep well.”
Bowing to her, Song Hyun-soo released the button he had been holding to prevent the elevator door from closing and quickly got in.
Phew.
Even though she hadn’t questioned him with suspicious eyes, a sigh of relief escaped him as the elevator door closed. An office romance just didn’t suit him. Or rather, it was a temporary lull in their relationship, and they weren’t dating at all, but…
He went down to the underground parking lot and looked around for Yoon Joo-ho’s car. As if he had been watching from somewhere, a message arrived immediately.
《Stay where you are. I’ll come to you.》