By Zephyria 
After showering, Yoon Joo-ho went to the acting practice room.
He lit an incense stick, detached the camera from its stand, and sat on the sofa.
He placed a beer can on the side table and began to focus on the monitor.
“You’re quite resigned, aren’t you?”
The camera was fixed on Song Hyun-soo, and Yoon Joo-ho’s own voice could be heard from outside the screen. Whether Song Hyun-soo knew it or not, the second camera was always fixed in Song Hyun-soo’s direction, not Yoon Joo-ho’s.
“If you’re not going to solve all my problems, it’s meaningless, so get lost. I used to say that too. But I realized it might not be the case. Sometimes, just talking and listening can be helpful. As long as I know the other person is genuinely listening.”
Song Hyun-soo on the monitor was looking at Yoon Joo-ho with a serious and focused gaze. It was a gaze so straight, almost arrogant, with no hint of hesitation that he might be ridiculed.
“Is Jung Ji-in that kind of person to you, junior?”
Yoon Joo-ho speaks from outside the screen. Song Hyun-soo’s fingers, holding a teacup, twitched. He then swallowed dryly and nodded slightly.
“Yes. I found out thanks to you, hyung. Luckily.”
“……”
“That kindness is better than indifference, even if you don’t have to take responsibility.”
Then, avoiding Yoon Joo-ho’s gaze, he put down the teacup and picked up the script. His expression, which had fully revealed his emotions, was now sheepish.
“And you said you shouldn’t stop affection from growing. If you force it to stop, it turns into resentment.”
“Who said that?”
“My grandmother.”
Song Hyun-soo opened the script and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he spoke.
“Are you starting with me, sunbae?”
Then he looked up and met the camera head-on.
Yoon Joo-ho paused the playback of the video. While drinking beer, he meticulously examined the face captured on the monitor.
Just how well had Jung Ji-in treated him for the kid to be so blindly devoted? At this level, he was like a duckling imprinted.
Thirty years of life isn’t that long. He hadn’t lived that long. But the experience of dedicating his entire life to a single pursuit couldn’t be ignored.
He had witnessed countless times the rise and fall of ‘stars.’ Some couldn’t make it despite working their hardest, while others became stars overnight with seemingly little effort.
Yoon Joo-ho could now predict a certain future just by looking at an actor’s face on the monitor. It wasn’t enough to be pretty or handsome. They had to be an actor on screen. That kind of face was different.
As Yoon Joo-ho gazed at Song Hyun-soo’s face looking directly into the camera, a smile spread across his lips.
“He takes the camera well.”
Just as he was about to take another sip of beer, he heard the sound of someone unlocking the front door lock. Yoon Joo-ho wasn’t particularly surprised, as he had received prior notice from Director Bang about a visit.
Director Bang’s appearance at the open doorway was soon reflected in the floor-to-ceiling window.
“Why are you here when I told you to just go home?”
“I just came to check on how you were doing. Where’s Hyun-soo-ssi?”
Director Bang looked around, as if Song Hyun-soo might be hiding somewhere in the practice room.
“What time is it? He’s gone.”
“Yeah… he would be. How did the cocktail talk go? Did he agree?”
“Yeah.”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had turned off the camera, stood up with his beer can.
As Yoon Joo-ho, who was extinguishing the incense with a bell-shaped snuffer, turned his back, Director Bang muttered,
“It’s a relief that Hyun-soo-ssi agreed. The party is less than ten days away, and why did you suddenly decide to have a cocktail bar…”
He had already secured a sufficient amount of champagne for this birthday party. Of course, he had planned to operate a separate bar for guests who wanted other drinks, but there were no plans to serve cocktails. It would double the work.
Director Bang followed Yoon Joo-ho, who was leaving the practice room, and started nagging. He complained about how much the party planner was struggling and how much the budget had increased due to the sudden decision to set up a cocktail bar because of Yoon Joo-ho’s whim.
Yoon Joo-ho, with one hand in his robe pocket and drinking beer, frowned. The half-finished beer was already lukewarm and tasted strongly bitter. He went to the kitchen and poured the beer down the sink, saying,
“Is my whim only for today?”
“You’re not even that interested in the birthday party, are you? It’s strange when someone like that suddenly intervenes and dictates things.”
Shrugging without much reply, Yoon Joo-ho took a cold new beer from the refrigerator. Director Bang, watching him open the tab, took off his coat and placed it on a stool, looking around the kitchen.
“Dinner? Should I order something for you before I go?”
“I ate.”
“You ate? What did you eat?”
“Kimchi fried rice. No, kimchi pot rice?”
Yoon Joo-ho replied with a chuckle and crossed the kitchen to the living room.
“You ate kimchi fried rice? Did you make it yourself?”
“As if. Someone made it for me.”
“Who?”
“Song Hyun-soo.”
“You two even ate together?”
Following Yoon Joo-ho, Director Bang continued to ask questions.
Yoon Joo-ho’s eyebrows twitched as he settled into a single-seater armchair. Just as Director Bang knew Yoon Joo-ho well, Yoon Joo-ho knew Director Bang well. He could sense a tone of interrogation in his voice.
“Hyung.”
“Yeah?”
“Did you come here to monitor me?”
“……”
“As if I’d drag him to bed?”
Leaning back against the headrest, Yoon Joo-ho looked up at Director Bang askance.
“You know I don’t carelessly touch people just because it’s convenient for them.”
“I know.”
“You seemed to like Hyun-soo-ssi, which is rare. So, just in case…”
“In case. What? You’re saying you rushed here to check if we were rolling around together while you were away?”
At this point, he had to bring it up properly. Director Bang sighed and plopped down in the seat opposite him.
“You seemed fine for a while. But you’re acting strange again lately.”
“I’m always strange.”
Yoon Joo-ho replied irritably, reaching for the cigarette pack on the side table.
“Aren’t you feeling restless again after actor Jung left for Paris?”
As he put a cigarette in his mouth and pulled the lighter’s flint, Yoon Joo-ho’s brow furrowed. Moving the cigarette to his hand, he tilted his head towards Director Bang.
“Why did that name suddenly come up?”
“Yoon Joo-ho, you can’t fool me. The day you went to see his play before actor Jung left for Paris. You started acting strange around then.”
“Weren’t you the one who pushed me to go and meet him?”
He lit the lighter and took a deep drag from his cigarette. He gulped down the new beer. His mood was rapidly sinking.
“That’s because time has passed, and you seemed fine, so I did.”
He had watched Jung Ji-in’s play at a theater in Daehangno, and afterward, they met at a bar for a brief chat. They hadn’t seen each other in a year. Their relationship was completely over, and there was no reason for them to contact each other again.
Jung Ji-in was about to move to Paris, France.
Director Bang had pestered Yoon Joo-ho, saying he had to meet Jung Ji-in one last time before he left the country. He said it was necessary to tie up loose ends so he could let go of his regrets and move forward.
Even though it was advice from someone whose last relationship was five years ago. Still, Director Bang had experienced long, serious relationships. And indeed, the advice was effective.
Creating a moment to say a proper goodbye. A turning point from which each person goes their separate way, building a tombstone and planting a marker for the relationship.
“I remember telling you that it seemed like a good idea and that you should go. What’s the problem?”
“Then why are you dragging Hyun-soo-ssi into this?”
“What are you even talking about?”
Yoon Joo-ho roughly ran his hand through his hair.
“The reason for deliberately keeping someone close who is friends with actor Jung is obvious, isn’t it?”
“Ha.”
Shaking his head, Yoon Joo-ho took a deep drag from his cigarette. He didn’t even have the energy to explain. He could vaguely guess how Director Bang’s mind was working. Tapping the ash into the ashtray, Yoon Joo-ho asked as if confirming,
“You think I’m keeping Song Hyun-soo close with Jung Ji-in as my objective?”
“Joo-ho-ya, you know I’m not here to nag. I just want to know in case something has already happened.”
“I’m sure. Because who I sleep with is more important than my acting.”
“Why are you saying that, you punk?”
Holding the filter between his fingertips and taking a short, quick drag, Yoon Joo-ho spoke rapidly in a voice that had turned cold, without looking at Director Bang.
“I’ll report in detail who I slept with, how long my erection lasted, what positions we used, and how many times I came. Can you leave me alone now, hyung?”
Director Bang stood up. He walked towards the kitchen, and the sound of him gathering his coat and bag could be heard. Yoon Joo-ho, leaning against the floor-to-ceiling window, indifferently watched the night view and drank his beer.
“I’m saying this knowing I’ll be cursed at and hated by you.”
Director Bang, reflected in the window, stopped behind Yoon Joo-ho.
“It’s not Hyun-soo-ssi.”
“What’s not?”
“They say you’re particularly close with actor Jung. If you were to lay a hand on Hyun-soo-ssi out of your whim, it would be unforgivable.”
“……”
“Find someone else if you’re looking for a fling.”
Director Bang stood there for a moment, then turned and left the living room.
Director Bang was weaker towards Yoon Joo-ho than anyone else. During his rebellious teenage years, whenever he was hurt by his harsh parents, it was Director Bang, like a youngest uncle or an older brother, who comforted Yoon Joo-ho. Yoon Joo-ho himself admitted that without Director Bang’s presence during his formative years, he would have become an even more broken piece of trash than he was now. Director Bang’s advice was intended to protect Yoon Joo-ho himself, even more than Song Hyun-soo.
“Whim. Fling…”
Muttering the words Director Bang had used, Yoon Joo-ho drank his beer and smoked.
He does like Song Hyun-soo, which is rare? That is true.
But is it because of Jung Ji-in?
Director Bang’s guess seemed to approach the core of the issue but always missed. Yoon Joo-ho found it frustrating and disappointing. It felt like he was just underlining a crossword puzzle clue that he couldn’t quite solve.