By Zephyria 
No answer came.
I walked over without hesitation and approached. In front of Rubel, who was sitting quietly, there wasn’t a single cup of tea.
Even though it was the room assigned to me, it was within the palace, and it would have been very easy to call a servant and order a cup of tea. Wondering how long he had been sitting like this, worry suddenly welled up.
I turned on the power of the Type 4 heat dissipator placed beneath the teapot on the side. As I prepared to serve tea, I suddenly remembered that I had told him to come to my room if anything dangerous or frightening happened.
“Did something happen?”
“…”
Rubel quietly shook his head. My gaze fell upon the tips of his fine hair as they gently scattered. I first placed a teacup on the table and carefully poured the warmed tea.
“Then?”
“It’s just… Suddenly, I… wanted to see you.”
I was at a loss for words. I couldn’t ask anything more. No, it was just this afternoon that I had declared that the child wouldn’t harbor such feelings for me.
For a moment, my vision went dark, but at the same time, a sense of joy arose.
A faint sense of guilt washed over my heart. This shouldn’t be happening, absolutely not.
I couldn’t bear to see the child struggling, just as it had been before and was now. I watched as the child’s pale, thick-knuckled hands carefully wrapped around the teacup, seeking its warmth.
After filling my own cup, I moistened my lips and fell into thought for a moment.
It was a night where stars poured down outside the large window.
What had I done to make the child feel hurt again? I thought hard, but I couldn’t figure it out.
“I know you were busy this afternoon, Senior.”
“…Mm.”
But I couldn’t turn away from the sadness etched on his face and the sorrow welling up in his fingertips.
I cannot do that.
“So, if your heart is heavy and troubled at night, you can come anytime. As long as I am in the palace.”
“…Why?”
The child questioned me. His dark eyes, looking up at me, were dim.
“Why do you… tolerate this? This time, I was rude…”
I chose my words carefully for a long time. The expectation in Ikyun’s eyes as he looked at me was heavy, and his expression, as if he were about to cry, was pitiful.
I knew it was time to reveal my true feelings. My intuition, which told me that a clumsy lie wouldn’t appease Rubel, urged me on fiercely.
“…Because you seemed precarious. …I’m concerned.”
“…”
Because Rubel was cute, and pitiful, and lovely. I couldn’t push him away. I folded such feelings into worry. I knew he would naturally drift away as he grew older, so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before then.
I swallowed the words that wanted to burst out, along with the hot tea.
After hearing my answer, the child lowered his head again.
Neither of us spoke any further. I refilled my cup. Unlike me, who had emptied my cup early due to thirst, Rubel took a considerable amount of time to drink even a sip of tea.
It was truly difficult to soothe a dampened heart.
❖ ❖ ❖
Morning dawned as usual. I woke up, washed, called a servant for grooming, and went to the ball. I watched Rubel sitting on a high platform, observing the dancers.
In the afternoon, I was led by my companions to meet various people, and at night, I received a visit from Rubel.
Five days passed like this, and then it was announced that the princes and princesses no longer had to sit and watch the balls.
Those who had grown closer could form small groups more freely and use the various spaces prepared throughout the palace to converse.
During that time, I spent time alone with Rubel.
While it was fun to recognize the faces of unfamiliar children and hear stories about the world, I preferred the time spent sitting and talking with someone I was close to.
That night, Rubel, who had been sitting with a dark expression, no longer showed his displeasure. With his usual languid smile, he occasionally offered delicious sweets and acted as if nothing had happened.
Since that composed demeanor was what I wanted, I also acted as if nothing had happened.
Thanks to the child who was eager to feed me even better and more beautiful things despite my refusals, I laughed heartily several times.
Today, we sat with a tart generously topped with figs. I cut the tart, coated in a shimmering syrup, with a fork.
The filling inside was soft and smooth, but the tart crust was hard and difficult to cut prettily. As I used the fork, I drew a little aura, which made Rubel laugh so much it was embarrassing.
“Why?”
“No, no… I’ve never seen anyone use aura to cut a tart before.”
“This is my first time too. It’s better than I thought.”
“Mm-hmm. Is the plate okay?”
“Yes.”
I wasn’t someone who couldn’t control that much force. After answering shamelessly, I chuckled, finding it amusing myself. In any case, the combination of the hard and soft textures in my mouth was quite pleasant, and I was satisfied.
“It’s good to have dedicated playtime, but if we play like this every day, our bodies won’t last.”
“Haha, well… that’s true. It’s boring without even being able to hold a sword.”
“There isn’t an open training ground… Is sparring with Ruben not possible?”
“Mm-hmm. Inside the Imperial Palace, unless you have permission, you can’t even hold an unsharpened sword…”
“…Mm.”
Then, sparring with Rubel becomes a distant prospect. This was very disappointing to me, as I had cherished the memory of clashing swords with him throughout last year.
Seeing my disappointment, the child quickly spoke up.
“Instead, if I come to the academy… I think we can spend a little time together.”
“At the academy?”
“Mm-hmm. Like before… Make time for me on the weekend after your exams end.”
Like before. It felt like a distant memory. It was hard to believe that the child wouldn’t be at the academy next semester. I nodded without awkwardness.
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
“…Mm.”
“How far is the First Prince’s Palace from the Second Prince’s Palace? Do you often run into Wesley?”
“Uh, no… As I said before, we can’t meet our family members unless we make plans in advance… After the New Year Festival passes, we won’t see each other again until the Summer Hunting Festival.”
“…I see.”
“Mm. Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”
Indeed, that was the case. As a key figure in the Second Prince’s faction, I had no opportunity to meet Richard or Wesley alone.
Wesley never left Richard’s side, and Richard’s whereabouts were unknown except for his appearances at balls.
I don’t know what they discussed behind the scenes. I only heard Poplar Kiadris’s name mentioned occasionally during tea times. The only thing I knew was that she herself had not appeared in the hall.
“Are you that worried about me?”
“Yes. I’ve heard stories that Wesley Kiadris is a Martial artist of Hwagyeong, but… seeing him in person, I can tell he has reached an even greater realm.”
“Even with Father here?”
“…Still.”
The Emperor and Empress did not preside over events at the Opal Palace, where debutantes were held, but rather at the Crystal Palace, where older, married nobles gathered. Therefore, I had not yet met the Emperor.
How much could I trust him?
I always harbored doubts about the head of the organization. I could only hope that the Nobility Almanac Management and Inspection Department would fulfill its role and protect Rubel.
When I needed to walk because I had eaten too much and hadn’t used my body properly, I would walk not only to the Opal Palace but also to the Second Prince’s Palace.
While spending time in Rubel’s study, Rubel often spoke about the future when I would enter the Imperial Palace.
“You could come straight to the Imperial Palace after graduation. How about becoming my guard? Just like Wesley is doing by Richard’s side…”
“Mm?”
“Then we could spar like this in the Prince’s Palace… and read books in the study like this.”
His desire for me not to go to the Yuil Mountains was evident.
However, I was a sword that had never rested for so long. I looked at him silently, without answering immediately. Rubel did not bring up the same topic again.
And so, I idly let the luxurious time slip by.
Not many nobles played until the last day of the New Year Festival, the 15th of January. About ten days after the New Year, my companions had long since left the palace, forming groups and making plans for separate tea parties and gatherings.
I, who had been killing time at the Opal Palace lodgings using Wesley as an excuse, also had to return.
Late at night, Rubel, who couldn’t sleep, came to visit, and as we sat in the drawing-room chatting about various things, the conversation eventually lulled. I brought up the topic.
“I should be going now.”
“Huh? Oh, are you going to sleep now?”
“That’s not what I mean. Tomorrow morning, I think I need to leave the palace and return to my townhouse.”
“…Ah.”
His white cheeks, which had been smiling brightly just moments before, now bore a dejected expression as if it were a lie.
It wasn’t the first or second time the child had failed to hide his feelings. I felt no particular emotion, neither touched nor fluttered. I thought I shouldn’t, so I endured it.
“…Can I sit next to you?”
“Please do.”
When I made space for him to sit, Rubel quickly moved to my side and rested his head on my shoulder. His shallow breaths tickled me.
I knew exactly what he wanted and what childish request he was making. I reached out and gently stroked his fine black hair.
It felt unfair that my affection for this child was a sin.
“…If I…”
“Yes.”
“…write letters, will you reply?”
“Yes.”
There must be a reason why he asked again, as if our families didn’t already tie us together. They say out of sight, out of mind.
It was unclear whether Rubel or I feared that more.
“…Mm. What time are you leaving tomorrow morning? I want to see you off…”
“Let’s have lunch together before you go.”
“Okay.”
Rubel’s eagerness to burrow into my embrace was both cute and pitiful. Since it felt wrong to touch the child’s body when we were alone, I did not offer my embrace.
It was difficult to suppress my laughter as I soothed and cajoled him, his lips pouting in disappointment.