By Zephyria As soon as the rainy season ended, the heat wave came. Around the time when the space filled with the sound of rain was covered with the sound of cicadas, the company started turning on the air conditioner. If Lee Yoon-woo was here, he would have lived with a jacket because he was cold. I couldn’t turn on the air conditioner at home, but embracing his cool body seemed to blow away the heat.
“Assistant Manager Choi is like a pictorial just standing there.”
Yeon-ah-ssi told me in a light tone as I blankly put a paper cup in my mouth. When I slowly turned my head, he shrugged his shoulders with a cigarette in his hand.
“If I didn’t have a lover, I would be tempted.”
It was a short break before starting work. I drank coffee, and Yeon-ah-ssi and Assistant Manager Yoo smoked together amicably. I shrugged my shoulders at the not-so-pleasant compliment, and Assistant Manager Yoo waved his hand.
“Come on, Tae-gyeom-ssi is married.”
“Yes? Really?”
Assistant Manager Yoo winked at me as if asking me to match his rhythm. Yeon-ah-ssi, who didn’t see that, was widening his eyes. I smiled slyly and raised the hand holding the paper cup slightly.
“Didn’t you see the ring?”
The ring on my left ring finger sparkled in the sunlight. It was what Yoon-woo had put on my finger on his birthday five years ago.
“Wow, Assistant Manager Choi, you were married?”
Yeon-ah-ssi looked at the ring with shocked eyes. It wasn’t jealousy or anything like that, it was just surprise. If I left it like this, the rumor that ‘Assistant Manager Choi Tae-gyeom is married’ would spread throughout the company. It was a very tempting thing, but it only hurt if it wasn’t true.
“…Just kidding, it’s just a couple ring.”
I crumpled the empty paper cup. Yeon-ah-ssi put a cigarette in his mouth with a slightly disappointed expression. As he glanced at the ring, it seemed like he had a lot of questions he wanted to ask.
“How long have you been dating?”
As expected, he asked me with curious eyes. I thought from the first time I saw him that he looked like a half-and-half mix of Jeon Rae-hyun and Park Seong-jae.
“I’ve known him since I was born, and we’ve been dating for about 5 years now.”
“Wow, childhood friends?”
Assistant Manager Yoo also showed interest without pretending. He’s someone who respects privacy, so he’s never asked directly, but it seems he was quite curious. When I answered ‘That’s right’, Yeon-ah-ssi asked again.
“Don’t you get tired of knowing each other that well?”
‘Tiresome,’ huh. Lee Yoon-woo filled his head. Even after time had passed, his neat face, black hair and eyes, and dry yet kind words remained.
“……I don’t think I’d ever find him tiresome.”
Just thinking about him made his heart flutter. His lips tingled as if pheromones were about to burst out. He didn’t care that Yeon-ah and Assistant Manager Yoo were staring blankly with wide eyes. He put his hands in his pockets and happily tugged at the corners of his lips.
“It’s just… so good that it’s hard to go about my daily life.”
What kind of reaction would Lee Yoon-woo have if he gave this to him? He felt the hard ring case in his pocket.
* * *
It had already been five years since he started living with Lee Yoon-woo. In the meantime, they had turned thirty and transformed from college students into working adults. The five-year gap between him and Lee Yoon-woo had disappeared without a trace.
Lee Yoon-woo entered graduate school as soon as he graduated. He had good grades but hadn’t decided on a suitable career path, so he was kidnapped by a professor. Contrary to his initial worries, he worked as a teaching assistant and even obtained a couple of translation certifications.
On the other hand, Park Seong-jae joined a company as soon as he became a senior. He submitted his resume and went for an interview under pressure from his professor, and luckily received an acceptance notice. The company wasn’t small and the salary was decent, but it wasn’t exactly welcome news for him.
‘You got into your aunt’s company?’
It was the company where his mother was the CEO. His grandmother had built it up when she was young and established it to a certain extent, and over time, she passed it on to his mother. As it was a company she had cherished, she warned that even if he was her son, she wouldn’t hand it over if he proved to be incompetent.
But, to join as an intern.
His college life with Lee Yoon-woo. And the glares he would receive after joining the company as a parachute hire. After much deliberation, Lee Yoon-woo spoke to him like an adult when he was about to give up.
‘It’s a good opportunity.’
‘…….’
‘You should try as much as you can.’
Perhaps because of their promise to live together, or perhaps because of the comfort of not being in an unfamiliar company, Lee Yoon-woo wasn’t as anxious as Park Seong-jae had been when Kim Min-jeong got a job. He seemed happier than Park Seong-jae, which made him feel relieved and a little resentful.
“Assistant Manager Choi, about the meeting yesterday……”
In any case, Park Seong-jae joined the company and was labeled a parachute hire. The same surname, similar appearance. Even the fact that he joined the company at a young age and quickly became an assistant manager. But fortunately, the people who had been subtly flattering him gradually drifted away when he didn’t show any particular reaction.
“……he said. I’m asking you for a favor.”
Well, now he hardly heard those rumors anymore. After a few conversations, people dropped their prejudices against him and concluded the rumors, saying, ‘There’s no way the CEO has such an old son.’ They would be shocked if they knew his mother was actually close to sixty.
“Oh, right. And.”
The team leader tapped his desk after finishing the instructions. He was just about to call Lee Yoon-woo to ask if he had gone to the hospital. He put down his phone and turned his head, and the team leader smiled, showing his teeth.
“You didn’t forget about today, did you?”
The team leader was a female Alpha with a cheerful impression. She was quick at handling work, cool-headed, and had great social skills. The success of this project was mostly thanks to the team leader.
“……Today?”
He tried not to show his embarrassment and asked back naturally. Today? He had an uneasy feeling. Knowing or not knowing his heart, the team leader replied nonchalantly.
“We decided to have a company dinner to celebrate the end of the project. You didn’t forget, did you?”
He felt like he had been hit in the back of the head. He glanced at the calendar without making it obvious, and ‘Company Dinner’ was written neatly on it.
“No, of course I remember.”
How could he not? He had forgotten. Completely.
“I’ve been losing track of the days lately, so I was a little confused.”
He was so caught up in the joy of the project’s completion that he hadn’t thought about it. He had planned to leave work on time, but he hadn’t thought about going to the company dinner, and he had planned to have dinner with Lee Yoon-woo, but he hadn’t thought about clinking glasses with his colleagues.
“Well, you’ve been incredibly busy lately.”
The team leader laughed heartily without any nagging. Then, he turned around without hesitation, saying he would see him later. Seeing him go to the other team members one by one, it seemed like he had noticed that he had forgotten.
“Haa…….”
He said he would go home early.
He sighed softly, grabbed his phone, and stood up. He had to call Lee Yoon-woo and tell him not to wait and to have dinner. His plans to make Lee Yoon-woo a delicious meal and spend a leisurely time together were all ruined in an instant.
He looked like he wasn’t feeling well, and he had to be late on a day like this. His heart ached with guilt.
―Hello?
Lee Yoon-woo answered the phone before the signal even finished. It was as if he had been waiting for his call. The gloomy mood that had been sinking was slightly lifted as soon as he heard his low voice. Of course, it sank again at the thought of not being able to see him in person.
“Yeah, Yoon-woo. Did you go to the hospital?”
First of all, Lee Yoon-woo’s condition was more important than the business at hand. He hadn’t had any energy for the past few days, he hadn’t been eating well, and he had been strangely fussy. Lee Yoon-woo said it was like a light cold, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried.
―Uh, yeah……. I went.
“What did the hospital say?”
―Just, well…….
The way he hesitated to answer was suspicious. If it was just a simple cold, he would have contacted him already, but the fact that he hadn’t contacted him until he called was also strange.
―I’ll tell you when I get home.
He leaned against the wall and quietly closed his mouth. The thoughts that had been floating around were gradually growing in size. From ‘It can’t be,’ to ‘Could it be?’
“……Um, Yoon-woo, I’m sorry.”
He knew the possibility was low, but it wasn’t impossible. They had been doing it for two days straight without a condom, so he couldn’t help but be suspicious. Lee Yoon-woo didn’t seem to have thought about it, but as he was recessive, he was dominant.
“I forgot I had a company dinner today, so I think I’ll be a little late.”
Pregnant?
He didn’t rashly say the thoughts that had risen to his throat. It was because he thought he might hurt Lee Yoon-woo if he brought up this topic easily. The expression on his face when he said it might be difficult to get pregnant was still vivid, and he didn’t want to see that face again.
“I’m sorry, I said I’d go home early.”
Even as he apologized, his heart was heavy. Lee Yoon-woo wasn’t the type to be upset by something like this, but he couldn’t help but feel apologetic. As expected, Lee Yoon-woo chuckled in a kind voice.
―You don’t have to be sorry. It’s a company dinner, what can you do? You have to go.
But was it just his imagination? He felt a slight hint of disappointment. His voice also seemed lower. Lee Yoon-woo asked if he was really okay and if he was with his team members, but the atmosphere was different from usual.
“……Yeah, the team leader said she’s treating.”
―That’s good. Tell her to get beef.
He heard a soft laugh. His tone quickly changed to a neat one. It was Lee Yoon-woo’s unique voice that made him feel good just by listening to it.
“Lee Yoon-woo.”
He called Lee Yoon-woo gently. It would be nice if he was pregnant, but if not, there was only one reason why he was hesitating.
“The hospital didn’t say anything else, did it?”
Lee Yoon-woo was the type who didn’t show when he was in pain. He would usually just endure it if he was in a lot of pain, and he would save his words in his own way so as not to cause worry. He didn’t know that it made him worry even more, and he would endure to the limit of his limits.
―They just said it’s a cold.
Lee Yoon-woo replied in a very light tone. His tension didn’t ease at all even with the nonchalant words. Perhaps he also felt that fact, he added the afterthought as if he couldn’t help it.
―I was just kidding about you coming home early. I missed you.
The words ‘I missed you’ made his mouth sweet. He had seen him this morning, but he wanted to hug Lee Yoon-woo right now. He didn’t even smoke, but he felt like he knew why people struggled with withdrawal symptoms.
“……I’ll go as soon as possible.”
―The assistant manager is thinking about skipping the company dinner, the world has gotten better.
Lee Yoon-woo chuckled, saying lines that Min, the notorious old-fashioned manager, would say. He seemed happy that he said he would go home early, even though he pretended not to be. Lee Yoon-woo, who had been silently lost in thought, soon opened his mouth cautiously.
―Do you want to see me for a bit at lunch?
* * *
Lee Yoon-woo came to the company around the time he had lunch. A few gazes followed him as he stood up from his seat at the message that he was at a nearby cafe.
“I’ll get going first.”
More than half of the food was left, but he had no intention of making Lee Yoon-woo wait. If Lee Yoon-woo, who rarely came to the company, had come all the way here, it must have been a very serious matter. He hoped it wasn’t a big deal, but the chances of that were close to zero.
First, he went to the office to grab his jacket and headed out of the company. The cafe where Lee Yoon-woo was located was right across the crosswalk in front of the building. He narrowed his eyes at the pouring sunlight, and he saw a familiar figure sitting on the cafe terrace.
“Why aren’t you drinking coffee for once?”
Lee Yoon-woo slowly turned his head while reading an English book. The wooden terrace was high enough that their eyes met when he raised his head. Lee Yoon-woo blinked his eyes and made a surprised expression, then put the highlighter he was holding on the table.
“Why did you come so early? I told you to eat first.”
Instead of coffee, a bright yellow ade was placed on the table beyond the railing. It must be lemon or something else. It was a slightly harsh menu for Lee Yoon-woo, who didn’t like sour things, carbonation, or even cold things.
“I had to come quickly. I was waiting for you.”
Was he still not feeling well? When he looked at his face with that thought, he was relieved that he didn’t seem to be in pain. His cheeks were a little flushed, but it must have been simply because he was exposed to the sunlight. He wouldn’t wear sunscreen, so his pale face must have been reddish.
“Let’s go inside.”
Instead of sitting across from him, he picked up Lee Yoon-woo’s drink. It was a hot day, enough to make the cup holder soggy with the drink with floating ice. The sun was shining directly in front of them, so even the parasol on the terrace couldn’t provide shade.
Lee Yoon-woo hesitated for a moment, then picked up his book and stood up when he put the jacket he had brought over his shoulder.
“Welcome.”
The cool air flowed out through the slightly opened door. The air conditioner was turned on so strongly that he felt goosebumps. That’s why he was sitting outside. Lee Yoon-woo chuckled when he clicked his tongue lightly.
“……Ah, what would you like?”
The employee slightly hardened his expression as he looked at them approaching. It was a reaction he wouldn’t normally care about, but the gaze that reached Lee Yoon-woo felt strangely uncomfortable. On the other hand, Lee Yoon-woo was looking at the decorations on the counter as if he wasn’t interested.
“What do you want to drink?”
He put his arm around Lee Yoon-woo’s shoulder with the hand that wasn’t holding the drink. He caressed his cheek so that the couple ring could be seen, and a look of dismay crossed the employee’s face. As expected, his ominous premonition was never wrong.
“Me?”
“Who else would it be?”
Was the employee a Beta?
Now that he looked at it, something was written on the outside of the cup holder with a pen. It was such small writing that Lee Yoon-woo, who didn’t have much observational skills, wouldn’t have noticed.
If the employee was a Beta, and that’s why he couldn’t feel the pheromones on Lee Yoon-woo. He quickly grasped the situation.
“This.”
He covered the writing with his palm without making it obvious and handed it to Lee Yoon-woo. The drink with half of the ice melted had a lot of volume like a new one.
“Are you going to keep drinking it?”
“……Give me a grapefruit ade.”
A flash of light appeared in the employee’s eyes at his awkward smile. He immediately blocked Lee Yoon-woo and looked at the employee. The lost gaze was truly worth seeing.
“Instead of that, give me a sweet potato latte. A warm one. Have you eaten?”
“I ate something.”
That meant he didn’t eat.
“Give me an egg sandwich too. I’ll eat it here.”
“……A warm sweet potato latte and an egg sandwich, is that correct?”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
The employee took the card with an awkward face. He was so flustered that he even stuttered, saying, ‘Do you have a receipt, no, a point card?’ When he replied that he didn’t have a point card and didn’t need a receipt, he handed over the vibrating bell with an embarrassed expression.
“I’ll let you know with the vibrating bell.”
“Thank you.”
He greeted him lightly and turned around without regret. Lee Yoon-woo gave him a puzzled look as he crumpled the cup holder as it was. He naturally put on a new cup holder and pretended to be nonchalant.
“The cup was wet, so it got all soaked.”
“It was a bit hot today……. But why did you ask me what I wanted if you were going to order whatever you wanted anyway?”
“Who told you to pick a grapefruit that no one eats?”
It was fortunate that Lee Yoon-woo was insensitive. No matter how much someone tried to flirt with him like this, he would never notice. If they wrote it on the receipt, would he at least read it? Well, even that was useless since he didn’t receive the receipt.
“You can’t even eat cold things.”
He sat Lee Yoon-woo in a place where the air conditioner didn’t reach as much as possible. He was usually a guy who didn’t catch a cold, but he was an exception in front of the air conditioner in the middle of summer. How surprised he was when he fainted in front of his eyes in the third year of high school. He thought that’s what it would feel like if the sky fell.
“You should order a new drink too. That one will taste bad because the ice melted.”
“It doesn’t really matter.”
He kept getting thirsty, so he removed the straw and gulped down the drink. As Lee Yoon-woo said, the drink was very bland. The carbonation was all gone, and the fruit flavor was awkward. It was sour at first, but the end was astringent, so it didn’t seem to be just lemon.
“What is this?”
“Lemon…… what was it, yuzu lemon?”
“You ordered something that doesn’t taste good.”
“……It looked healthy for some reason.”
His embarrassed appearance tickled his heart. That’s why everyone was eyeing him. While he felt relieved that Lee Yoon-woo was oblivious, he was furious at the thought that similar things had happened countless times. Alphas and Omegas would feel his pheromones and stop, but the proportion of Betas in the world was overwhelmingly high. He couldn’t write his name on him, so what could he do with this guy?
“What’s that book? Translation?”
“Oh, right. This is a book I’m going to work on this time, and I got it from the publisher. It’s interesting, so take a look.”
The cover of the novel, which was about 300 pages long, had the title written in elegant cursive. The author’s name was relatively familiar, and it was the same as the first novel he had translated. A calm voice spoke to him as he opened the first page and looked at the table of contents.
“Novels don’t usually come in at this time of year. But the one I translated before was well-received, so they contacted me again this time.”
“That’s good. Are the things you checked off unknown words?”
“Yeah, the sentences are okay, but the words are a bit difficult.”
Lee Yoon-woo liked novels the most among the various translation jobs. The reason was that it wasn’t boring and he felt proud when he wrote good sentences. He would take the time to read the original book and then skim through it for comparison after he finished translating.
“Yeah…… there are a lot of words I’ve never seen before.”
He was turning the pages one by one when the vibrating bell on the table rang. The vibration was so strong that it even crawled along. He put down the book and stood up, and Lee Yoon-woo stood up awkwardly.
“I’ll get it.”
“No, stay seated.”
He couldn’t send Lee Yoon-woo after seeing that employee earlier. He wouldn’t bother him anymore since he was there, but he didn’t even like the thought of him receiving an apologetic gaze. Fortunately, a different employee gave him the food this time, and he returned to his seat with a clear mind.
“Tae-gyeom, did you eat all your food?”
As expected, Lee Yoon-woo ate the warm sweet potato latte better than the drink with yuzu and lemon. If he had ordered a grapefruit ade, it would have definitely ended up like the drink in front of him. He was already thirty years old, but he still didn’t know his taste.
“I ate before I came. I was in the cafeteria when I got your call.”
“Isn’t your lunch break from 12 o’clock? Did you eat that fast?”
“Just, well.”
The vague answer, like Lee Yoon-woo’s earlier, meant that he hadn’t eaten. Lee Yoon-woo also knew that fact and stared at him with narrowed eyes. He put the sandwich in front of him and spoke softly.
“Yoon-woo.”
His dark eyes glanced at him. He wanted to wait until he ate the sandwich if possible, but there wasn’t enough time to do that. Lee Yoon-woo didn’t even touch the plate, and he had no choice but to open his mouth first.
“Did something happen at the hospital?”
“…Nothing happened.”
It was a short hesitation. He didn’t have enough time to figure out what he had put away during the brief silence. Lee Yoon-woo picked up the sandwich and took a big bite as if nothing had happened.
“I told you on the phone. They just said it’s a cold.”
He slowly looked at the drink placed on the table. The drink he ordered was in a disposable cup, but mine came in a mug. They must have gone to quite some trouble to get a cup holder.
“I came because I missed you.”
It was a very sweet excuse. He, who lives on coffee, ordered a tasteless drink because it ‘looked healthy,’ and even after getting a diagnosis of ‘just a cold,’ he didn’t have a common medicine packet. ‘I’m a Beta.’ The expression he made when he spat out those words stared at me intently.
“Didn’t you miss me?”
There was only one reason he acted so nonchalant like this. When he was lying to me. But of all things, when that lie was for my sake.
“…I always miss you.”
I slowly rested my chin on the table. I didn’t forget to smile prettily, the kind of face Lee Yoon-woo would like. As I lowered my eyes, he ate another bite of his sandwich with a slightly relieved expression.
“Lee Yoon-woo.”
Waiting wasn’t that difficult for me. I waited five years without Lee Yoon-woo, and I waited a lifetime loving him. Surely, I can endure one secret he can’t tell me now that he’s right next to me.
“Come every lunch break. It’s nice like this.”
“I’ll get fired.”
“I’m a parachute hire, I won’t get fired.”
“As if your aunt would allow that.”
The atmosphere softened in an instant. From him, whose pheromone had recently become stronger, came a scent sweeter than anything else. He chuckled softly, like air escaping, and looked around.
“But I might actually bring my laptop. The atmosphere here is nice, and there aren’t many people.”
“No, let’s go to a different cafe.”
“Why?”
“…The air conditioning is too strong here.”
What on earth did they say at the hospital? The suspicion that had been rising for the past few days slowly reared its head again. I was confident in waiting, but I hoped he wouldn’t make me wait too long.
* * *
Lee Yoon-woo said he would pick me up after his company dinner. He neither confirmed nor denied when I asked if he had something to say. It was the same with my casual request to talk to me tonight.
“Okay, everyone, thank you for your hard work!”
The team leader generously decided on beef for the company dinner menu. Cheers erupted from the team members at the words to order whatever they wanted without worrying about being judged. Lee Yoon-woo would have found it funny if I said, ‘We’re eating beef like you said,’ I could almost see him smiling.
“I heard Assistant Manager Choi’s lover is a childhood friend?”
Around the time the drinking party was in full swing, one of the team members asked mischievously. His name was Lee Jun-seok, I think. He was a man I didn’t like because he kept showing interest in me and his type was Omega. If he had backed off when I brushed him off appropriately, but I also didn’t like that he put coffee with his pheromone on my desk every day. Yeon-ah must have known that and let it slip, because Yeon-ah, who was nearby, gave me an apologetic look.
“If they’re childhood friends, how long have you known each other?”
“Kindergarten? Elementary school?”
The topic of conversation quickly turned to Lee Yoon-woo. Watching the team members each ask a question, I quietly fiddled with my glass. It wasn’t difficult to answer, but I didn’t want Lee Yoon-woo to become a subject of gossip. So I tried to brush it off, but Lee Jun-seok suddenly interjected.
“Hey, everyone, stop it, you’re making him uncomfortable.”
His softly smiling face was disgusting. It was also absurd that he brought up the story first and then tried to slip away pretending not to. Lee Jun-seok glanced at me and lowered his voice slightly.
“There must be a reason why he’s not talking about it.”
It was as if I was reluctant to talk about this story. ‘Just because you’re lovers doesn’t mean you’re always on good terms…’ His intention in adding that was obvious. Only then did I realize why he brought up this topic.
“Have you been dating your lover for a long time?”
Lee Jun-seok was clearly trying to gauge the relationship between Lee Yoon-woo and me. If I kept silent, he would definitely conclude that we were ‘in a rut.’ Aside from being dumbfounded, the way he was sizing me up to see if he had a chance was very annoying.
“I see. Yeon-ah said you were childhood friends, so…”
“I’ve known him since birth.”
“…Yes?”
The fact that I had someone I was seeing had been famous since the beginning of my employment. I didn’t intend to hide it in the first place, and I always had Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromone on me. People were so interested in other people’s business that they made all sorts of speculations just by looking at one ring.
“My parents were high school classmates, so we’ve known each other since we were born.”
He’s a famous celebrity, he’s from a chaebol family, I thought he was an Omega but he’s actually a Beta (Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromone was too easily erased). The rumors from unknown sources became more and more rampant as I kept my mouth shut. I thought it would disappear quickly like the stigma of being a parachute hire, but it was unexpected.
“I just didn’t talk about it because I didn’t want to be talked about.”
I casually put down my soju glass. I could see Lee Jun-seok’s face slightly frowning. Assistant Manager Yoo across from me smiled mischievously.
“There’s a rumor that he’s a chaebol, is that true?”
“Of course not.”
“Then is he a celebrity?”
“A celebrity…”
I was going to answer nonchalantly, but when I thought of Lee Yoon-woo, I laughed. A celebrity Lee Yoon-woo, let alone a chaebol. It was a cruel job for that shy guy.
“He’s not a celebrity either.”
I slowly curved my eyes and caressed my couple ring. ‘Tae-gyeom looks really…’ I heard someone mutter like that. I knew that I had made a very lovesick expression, even though the rest of the words were not continued.
“Who confessed first?”
Now even the team leader was showing interest with shining eyes. Of course, I had no intention of giving any more details. Until Lee Jun-seok, who had been indifferent, spoke rudely.
“Hey, of course the other person did. Is Assistant Manager Choi the type to confess?”
What the hell is wrong with this guy? It’s already annoying that he’s subtly releasing his pheromone, but it’s even more unpleasant that he’s arbitrarily disparaging our relationship. Especially since he’s spouting nonsense like ‘Assistant Manager Choi is too good for him’ about Lee Yoon-woo, whom he hasn’t even seen.
“The other person must have ardently courted…”
“I liked him first.”
I cut off Lee Jun-seok’s words firmly. I also deliberately made an embarrassed expression as if to show off.
“I liked him so much that I couldn’t even confess and just watched him.”
‘That’ Lee Yoon-woo’s courtship. I don’t know what Lee Yoon-woo would think, but I was always the one who was anxious. I was the one who liked him first, the one who got caught, and the one who tried to let him go because I couldn’t handle it. I even pretended to be drunk and rubbed against him, but he didn’t even come back after getting a confession in the meantime.
“What kind of person is he that you liked him so much? Is he good-looking? Or is it his personality?”
Yeon-ah quickly poured me a soju and asked a question. It seemed that she was urging me to say more, probably conscious of Lee Jun-seok.
“Well, there are so many good things about him.”
“What, Tae-gyeom, are you bragging now?”
“Assistant Manager Choi is a complete lover boy.”
Assistant Manager Yoo and the team leader took turns teasing me. Then they playfully waved their hands, telling me to drink quickly. No sooner had I caught my breath than another barrage of questions poured in.
“Is it a woman or a man? Is it an Omega?”
“How long have you liked him?”
“Come on, Assistant Manager Choi. Tell us more.”
“Why are you all doing this? Like teenage high school students.”
“Other people’s love lives are the most interesting.”
Amidst the highly charged atmosphere, Lee Jun-seok was the only one who was quiet. Now that it had come to this, I thought it might be better to draw a clear line. The sparkling gazes were burdensome, but there were no malicious eyes among them.
“It’s a man. And he’s an Omega.”
“Wow, as expected, an Omega for a Dominant Alpha.”
Old memories came flooding back. Those were the words I had stupidly blurted out without knowing that Lee Yoon-woo was an Omega. If I had said just one word sooner, that it was okay even if you were an Omega, we wouldn’t have gone so far.
“I liked him even before his heat cycle… I would have liked him even if he wasn’t an Omega but an Alpha.”
“Wow… Is it that serious?”
Yeon-ah blinked with a fluttering expression. I heard that she had a long-time lover, but I remembered hearing that there was no excitement left, only comfort. That’s probably why she asked me if I didn’t get tired of it after all this time.
“Sigh, listening to Assistant Manager Choi makes me want to smoke.”
“Shall we go have a cigarette?”
After a few questions, the team members, including the team leader and Yeon-ah, got up from their seats. Lee Jun-seok was sitting there sulking, but Yeon-ah grabbed his arm and dragged him out.
Only after they had all left did Assistant Manager Yoo smile slyly, holding a bottle of alcohol.
“It’s tiring to be popular, isn’t it?”
Assistant Manager Yoo was the only person who had looked at me without prejudice even after I became an assistant manager. He had the title of ‘perennial assistant manager,’ but his work was better than most section chiefs. I thought I should ask my mom why he couldn’t get promoted.
“I guess so. I didn’t think Assistant Manager Yoo would understand.”
“What’s wrong with you, I was popular back in the day too.”
Assistant Manager Yoo chuckled and filled my glass himself. I reached out to pour him a drink as a sign of respect, but he said he didn’t accept drinks from subordinates. He also ignored my words, ‘We’re the same assistant managers.’
“You met your lover during lunch earlier, right?”
“…Yes.”
He burst out laughing. Assistant Manager Yoo clinked glasses as if he knew.
“It’s the best time. Is your lover very jealous?”
“I don’t know… I’m probably more jealous.”
“If it were me, I would have been worried about sending Tae-gyeom to the company. He must be very handsome.”
Assistant Manager Yoo smiled without any ulterior motives and pointed in the direction Lee Jun-seok had left. Instead of bothering to make excuses, I simply shrugged my shoulders. I figured that Lee Jun-seok wouldn’t bother me anymore since he didn’t get anything out of it and probably got an earful from Yeon-ah.
* * *
The company dinner ended not too late. In the meantime, Lee Jun-seok, who was quite drunk, couldn’t keep his balance and was being supported by Assistant Manager Yoo. The team leader was excited and recruiting people to go to the second round, but he didn’t stop me when I said I would go in first.
“Be careful going in, and see you tomorrow!”
“Yes, I’ll be going in.”
I bowed and hurried away. I had just received a message from Lee Yoon-woo about five minutes ago saying that he had arrived. I was about to call him to ask exactly where he was when I turned the corner and saw a familiar back of the head.
“……”
Lee Yoon-woo was standing at the entrance to the main road. His pale neck and straight shoulders were stubbornly catching my eye. Not long after he put his phone to his ear, it vibrated in his hand.
Instead of answering the phone, I slowly approached Lee Yoon-woo from behind. At first, I was going to surprise him, but I quickly changed my mind. I gently hugged his neat back so as not to startle him, and he quickly turned his head.
“Ah… When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
I could feel Lee Yoon-woo’s unique pheromone all over. Even in the hot summer air, Lee Yoon-woo maintained a slightly cool body temperature. I kissed his soft hair and lowered my head to face him.
“Why are you out here, it’s hot.”
Lee Yoon-woo, who had been fidgeting in my arms, turned to face me. He wouldn’t usually be obediently hugged like this, but it seemed he was being considerate because it was a secluded place. He quietly wrapped his arms around my waist and glanced up at me.
“Why?”
I asked back gently and kissed his eyes and cheeks. Lee Yoon-woo, who was smiling happily, shook his head, saying it was nothing. He was so lovely that I wanted to put him in my mouth and suck on him.
“Did you drink a lot?”
“No.”
I stealthily buried my face in Lee Yoon-woo’s neck. The pheromone came with the breath I took in. Half of me didn’t want to let him go, and the other half wanted to go home and get drunk to my heart’s content. A small voice whispered to me as I weighed the two feelings.
“You should do this at home.”
At those words, I couldn’t hold back any longer and locked my lips with his. Lee Yoon-woo chuckled as I sucked on his lower lip and bit it with my front teeth.
The problem was that someone called me from behind us.
“……Tae-gyeom?”
I reflexively turned my head while holding Lee Yoon-woo. Assistant Manager Yoo, Yeon-ah, and Lee Jun-seok. Too familiar faces were standing at the entrance of the alley. Assistant Manager Yoo, who covered his mouth with a look of dismay, awkwardly smoothed his lips.
“Ah, well…”
Lee Yoon-woo hurriedly pushed me away. I was a little sad that the warmth had left my arms even though it wasn’t the time for that. I watched him in dismay and blocked his way.
“Are you three on your way to the second round?”
“Huh? Oh, right. That’s right. We’re on our way, but I saw Tae-gyeom.”
Assistant Manager Yoo was trying to fix the situation by rambling. I was the one who was caught in an embarrassing situation, but Assistant Manager Yoo seemed more embarrassed. After clearing his throat, Assistant Manager Yoo glanced at Lee Yoon-woo behind me.
“That person is…”
This was a disaster. I didn’t want to show Lee Yoon-woo to Lee Jun-seok, let alone anyone else. If he looked at him with even a little bit of appraising eyes, I wouldn’t be able to say nice things to him, colleague or not. But it was too awkward to hide him.
“……I’m late to introduce him.”
I slowly moved to Lee Yoon-woo’s side. When I gently put my hand on his back, Lee Yoon-woo smiled with an embarrassed face. He would want to hide in a rat hole because he showed such a sight at the first meeting.
“He’s the person I’m seeing.”
“Ah, I’ve heard a lot about him!”
Yeon-ah quickly came forward. He loosened his expression and nudged Lee Jun-seok, who was next to him.
“Assistant Manager Choi has been bragging about his lover so much. Right, Jun-seok?”
“……Ah, as you said, he’s really… handsome.”
Lee Jun-seok mumbled Yeon-ah’s words even while drunk. I was going to get really angry if he said nonsense, but he didn’t have the courage to be rude in front of the person himself. My unpleasant mood was relieved a little.
“This is Assistant Manager Yoo Seung-ji and Song Yeon-ah, and Lee Jun-seok, who I mentioned before.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you. Tae-gyeom… I’m told he’s been a burden.”
The corners of my lips tickled at the naturally changed title. It was the face Lee Yoon-woo made when he met people from the publishing house. I knew it was a crush, but his business smile had a cute side that tickled my stomach. Especially the fact that he was hiding his shyness.
“Oh, I see you came to pick up Tae-gyeom, but I was being nosy.”
Assistant Manager Yoo said that and awkwardly checked his phone. He also supported Lee Jun-seok, saying that there was no time to be doing this because they had to go to the second round. Assistant Manager Yoo, who glanced back and forth between me and Lee Yoon-woo, hurriedly nodded his head.
“Go in carefully, Tae-gyeom. Introduce him properly next time.”
There was no time for Lee Yoon-woo and me to say hello. With the words, ‘Then we’ll be going now,’ the three people disappeared like the wind out of the alley. Only Lee Yoon-woo, who was left alone, was staring at me with wide eyes.
* * *
Lee Yoon-woo was a guy who didn’t drive unless he had to. He had gotten his license a long time ago and his skills weren’t bad, but it was because he was inherently lazy. Well, unless he had his own car. His job was telecommuting and I had my car if he needed it, so there was no need to get one.
Naturally, the number of times he sat in the driver’s seat gradually decreased. Unlike Lee Yoon-woo, I didn’t hate driving, and I was the one who usually grabbed the steering wheel on dates. There were only two cases when Lee Yoon-woo sat in the driver’s seat. When he had to go far alone, or when I had been drinking.
“Eung……”
So it was only natural that I kissed him as soon as I saw him fastening his seat belt. They say men who drive are sexy. Lee Yoon-woo adjusting the rearview mirror was so attractive that I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
“Ah, wa…it……”
I could see his neat eyelashes fluttering. Lee Yoon-woo, who rested his wrist on the steering wheel and made his throat vibrate, slightly parted his lips. Was it because of the tie that was choking his neck? I kept feeling thirsty.
“Why are you suddenly so excited?”
Lee Yoon-woo spoke in a gentle tone. He gently stroked my cheek and lightly kissed me as if to calm me down. Of course, it was questionable whether that would actually have a calming effect.
“I’m always like this when I see you.”
I roughly untied the suffocating necktie. I wasn’t a teenager, and we hadn’t been dating for very long, but just seeing Lee Yoon-woo made my body burn. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, and drench him in my pheromone, swallowing him whole.
Lee Yoon-woo narrowed his eyes leisurely, watching my impatience. Usually, he would have been breathing heavily along with me by now. But today, his reaction was unusually calm.
“I don’t know how you even go to work like this.”
“Tell me about it. I want to quit and just stay home.”
Lee Yoon-woo might think it was a joke, but I was serious. Leaving Lee Yoon-woo behind in the morning to go to work made me worry about him all the way there. Even when I was working, eating lunch, or at company dinners like today, Lee Yoon-woo was always on my mind. Even parents who leave their children at kindergarten probably don’t feel this way; it was a serious case.
“Then quit your job. I’ll support you.”
“Wow… I’m getting butterflies.”
I gently rubbed my nose against Lee Yoon-woo’s cheek. His soft skin felt so good that I nibbled on it lightly. “Ah!” he exclaimed, pushing my face away.
“We’re in the car.”
His words were sharp enough to prick my conscience. I was doing this because we were in the car, but maybe it was better to restrain myself in many ways. I smiled playfully at Lee Yoon-woo as he shifted gears.
“Why, you liked it.”
Lee Yoon-woo’s gaze turned to me. His pupils rolled over, darkened to a deep black. How could a person be so white and black at the same time? The contrast in colors made me even more hungry.
He squinted at my sinister smile.
“What?”
“Car sex.”
It was the fall of the year before last, I think, when Lee Yoon-woo and I went to the sea without any plans. The sea at sunset was beautiful, but because he gets cold easily, we couldn’t get out of the car. When we had admired the sea enough, our eyes met, and we did the deed in the car instead of going to the hotel five minutes away.
‘Tight… Hnn, tight…’
His body was red up to his neck. Suppressed moans leaked through his teeth. The car body rattled, and Lee Yoon-woo trembled.
‘I can’t… Ah, hnn…’
It was cramped, uncomfortable, and restricted in many ways, but I liked the fact that he had to move on his own. When I reclined the seat and held his head to keep it from hitting anything, he was shy but obediently came into my arms.
“You’re really…”
His cheeks flushed like back then, and he silently turned the steering wheel. He was too embarrassed to say he liked it, but he couldn’t say he didn’t, so he just chose silence. Judging by the pheromone that was slowly being released, he seemed to clearly remember what happened back then.
Should we go to the sea again?
Car sex aside, I was interested in going to the sea with Lee Yoon-woo. When the sparkling, crashing waves were reflected in his dark eyes, I felt like I wanted to give him the entire sea.
It would be too hot to go in the summer, so I should take him to the night sea after the heat has subsided, dressed warmly. If that doesn’t work, we can just look at it from the car like last time.
Location, transportation, and hotel. I made travel plans one by one while admiring ‘Lee Yoon-woo driving.’ He quickly composed himself and put on his usual expressionless face. His eyelashes fluttered as his thin eyelids rose and fell.
“How’s your body feeling?”
Fortunately, he seemed to be in a good mood, but I needed to hear the details from him. When I kissed him, he didn’t have a high fever, and his complexion wasn’t bad.
“I’m fine. I’m all better.”
“Did you take your medicine?”
“Just… whatever.”
His tone was nonchalant, but I definitely felt hesitation. It was similar to what I felt at the cafe. Was he not going to tell me this time either? Should I pry a little more, or should I wait until he tells me? As I pondered, Lee Yoon-woo lightly broached the subject.
“About that person earlier.”
He’s changing the subject.
I leaned my head against the window. Looking at his pursed lips, my wavering heart leaned toward the latter. I was worried, but I was willing to wait patiently if he didn’t want to talk about it.
“He seemed interested in you.”
“Who?”
I slowly asked back, raising the corners of my lips. Lee Yoon-woo let out a dry laugh at my lazy smile, pretending not to understand.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know.”
He’s not interested in his own affairs, but he’s unnecessarily quick when it comes to my affairs. It would be nice if he used the same sensitivity to filter out people who hit on him as he does to weed out people who are interested in me. But even if I think this, it would be impossible even after 10 years.
“He looked like the sky was falling when he saw us.”
Well, did he?
I didn’t even look at Lee Jun-seok because I thought he looked cute when he was flustered. I didn’t care if he looked like the sky was falling, the ground was sinking, or his face was collapsing. In the first place, who was he to make such a face in front of Lee Yoon-woo?
“Did he confess?”
Lee Yoon-woo asked without looking at me. I felt a sense of disappointment at his gaze, which was only directed forward.
“No.”
“Then?”
“Just coffee.”
His neat eyebrows twitched. He seemed momentarily upset as he tapped the steering wheel. I wanted to gauge his reaction, but I didn’t want to make him feel uneasy, so I didn’t drag it out and said the rest.
“Strictly speaking, I didn’t receive it. He unilaterally left it, and I threw it away.”
I didn’t remember drinking the coffee that Lee Jun-seok gave me. It had pheromone on it, and it was obviously something filled with ulterior motives. I either gave it to Assistant Manager Yoo, or I threw it away without drinking it. I pretended not to see the sticky notes that were occasionally attached and crumpled them up.
Lee Yoon-woo stared at me silently. After a moment of silence, a short question burst out.
“Since when?”
“I don’t remember exactly, but around the time the project started…”
I stopped talking in the middle of my sentence. It was because I felt a chill down the back of my neck. I narrowed my brows and looked straight at Lee Yoon-woo.
“I’m not interested in him.”
“…Of course, that’s obvious.”
The atmosphere was unusual. His voice, which had sunk even lower, was making the air heavy. Lee Yoon-woo, who was tapping the steering wheel repeatedly, opened his mouth in a small voice.
“Why,”
“……”
“Didn’t you tell me?”
Honestly, I realized I had messed up. It was a common occurrence, and he was someone who would leave if ignored. It wasn’t that I was trying to hide it because it would only make me feel bad, or that I didn’t feel the need to tell him. It was simply that my consciousness didn’t reach that far.
“He’s such a nobody that I didn’t think I needed to tell you.”
I knew that one apology was better than a hundred excuses. I had been dating Lee Yoon-woo for 5 years, and I had known him all my life except for the 5-year gap. If I gave him a proper apology, he would understand.
“I’m sorry.”
But he stared straight ahead without saying anything. Only his already subdued pheromone showed his mood. The pheromone, which was slowly declining, suppressed the words that were about to come out.
For a long time, no words were exchanged. Only the sounds from outside the car window stirred the quiet air. What should I say? Should I offer more apologies? Or should I naturally change the subject? My head was in a mess.
It shouldn’t have come to this.
I glanced at Lee Yoon-woo. He had his lips tightly shut and was concentrating on driving with a frown on his face. Judging by his heaving chest, he seemed to be trying to be rational.
“Yoon-woo.”
“I’m sorry, but.”
A faint sigh escaped. It wasn’t from me, but from Lee Yoon-woo. He opened his tightly closed lips and spoke in an extremely stiff voice.
“Let’s talk about it when we get home.”
His tone was so low that my heart sank. So much so that I unknowingly cut off my pheromone. Lee Yoon-woo added in an annoyed tone to my blank blinking,
“I don’t think good words will come out.”
We returned home in a cold atmosphere. Lee Yoon-woo, who had said we should talk about it at home, left me in the living room and went into the bedroom. When I came out after taking a shower, he was covering himself up to his neck with the blanket and had his eyes closed.
“…Are you asleep?”
His wet bangs suggested that he had washed in the bathroom attached to the bedroom. Judging by his even breathing, he might already be asleep. I couldn’t shake him awake and tell him not to sleep, but I felt uncomfortable just going to sleep. I had never experienced this before, so I didn’t know what to do.
I got into bed and carefully snuggled up next to Lee Yoon-woo. When I put my arm under his head and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, he snuggled into my arms without complaint. His soft breathing gradually calmed my uneasy heart.
“Lee Yoon-woo.”
I could see his eyelids fluttering. When I narrowed my eyes and stroked his hair, he buried his face in me, rustling. I knew he was pretending to sleep, but I couldn’t point that out. Instead, I spoke in a very small voice.
“I’m sorry.”
I gently stroked his back. I could feel his hard bones through his clothes, as if he had lost weight. His bones had been bumping into me during sex lately. I was worried because he didn’t see the sun and was getting thinner.
“Don’t be angry.”
I lightly touched his forehead with my lips. No answer came back, but his pheromone gradually subsided. Each time I patted his back, his breathing also slowly dissipated. And before long, he fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
Lee Yoon-woo was always with me in the future I imagined. Lee Yoon-woo was by my side in 1 year, 2 years, and even 5 years and 10 years later. I don’t know about him, but I had always been like that.
Of course, I knew that Lee Yoon-woo’s opinion was not reflected in this thought. Now we both realized each other’s feelings, but when I imagined the future with him, Lee Yoon-woo probably didn’t have such thoughts.
“Ring…”
I have to give it to him.
I had been thinking about getting married for quite some time. I had imagined it even if I didn’t have any concrete plans, and I would sometimes pick out rings that would suit Lee Yoon-woo when I had time. I kept putting it off, putting it off, and then suddenly bought the item.
I tapped the luxurious case. The velvet case was small enough to fit in one hand. The ring, which I had slowly picked out since the day I thought about getting married, was planned to be given to him in earnest at a nice restaurant soon.
“…Haa.”
But I never thought it would turn out like this.
This morning, before going to work, I struggled for a long time to leave Lee Yoon-woo, who was fast asleep. Should I wake him up, or should I not? Usually, I would have been satisfied to let him sleep, but today I felt like being clingy. Lee Yoon-woo’s face kept lingering in my mind last night.
‘I don’t think good words will come out.’
It had been exactly 5 years. We had been dating for a period when others were said to be experiencing a slump, without even the slightest argument. Our physical intimacy hadn’t decreased, and we hadn’t created secrets or hated each other’s habits.
But for the first time, Lee Yoon-woo was angry. To be exact, it was irritability, but it didn’t feel much different to me. That cold voice, and the sigh he let out, cooled my head.
‘…I’ll be back.’
In the end, I secretly gave him a kiss and went to work. Even though Lee Yoon-woo had been tying my tie for the past few days, I felt awkward tying it myself. I left him a message saying I would be home early and to make sure he ate, but I still didn’t get a reply.
“Hoo…”
“Tae-gyeom, aren’t you going to eat?”
Tap, tap, Assistant Manager Yoo’s hand tapped my desk. I frowned and looked up, and the short hand of the clock was pointing to 12. I ran a hand over my dry face and got up from my seat.
“…I should eat.”
I still hadn’t heard from Lee Yoon-woo. I thought he would wake up by 10 o’clock at the latest since he went to bed early yesterday. I kept feeling uneasy, wondering if something had happened.
Even while eating, I couldn’t take my eyes off my phone. I quickly checked it when it vibrated, and I suspected countless times that the signal wasn’t working. I wish I could call him. But I couldn’t even do that because I was afraid of waking him up.
“Are you expecting a call from somewhere?”
Eventually, Yeon-ah, who was watching me, asked cautiously. Assistant Manager Yoo was also glancing at me, trying to read my mood.
“Ah, sorry. I’m waiting for someone.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize…”
Yeon-ah exchanged glances with Assistant Manager Yoo and swallowed hard. She put down her spoon and made a serious expression, as if she was about to start a conversation in earnest.
“Did something happen?”
I slowly lowered my eyes. Unlike the two people’s almost empty bowls, there was still a lot of food left in front of me. At this rate, it was no different from a hunger strike.
“Yeon-ah… how many years have you been with your boyfriend?”
“Yes?”
Yeon-ah’s eyes widened at the sudden question. I told her that she didn’t have to answer if it was rude, but she waved her hand, saying it wasn’t. He scratched his cheek slightly and rolled his eyes.
“We’ve been together for 7 and a half years? It’s been a long time.”
“If you’ve been dating that long…”
My face automatically frowned. Half of it was the discomfort of asking about someone else’s private life, and the other half was the burden of having to talk about myself. And a little bit of anxiety towards Lee Yoon-woo, who still hadn’t contacted me.
“Have you ever fought?”
“Assistant Manager Choi, did you fight with your boyfriend?”
As expected, Yeon-ah asked back in a surprised voice. Fortunately, her voice didn’t get louder, but rather became more secretive.
“Did that happen after we met yesterday?”
“Because of Lee Jun-seok?”
Perhaps it was her experience, but Assistant Manager Yoo cautiously confirmed. He let out a hollow laugh after confirming that I wasn’t denying it.
“Didn’t you say you don’t get jealous much?”
“…It’s not jealousy.”
Strictly speaking, it wasn’t such a sweet emotion. It was just a sense of betrayal that I didn’t know about it and a little disappointment. If it had been jealousy, I could have comforted him with a smile like before.
“That’s…”
I put down my chopsticks and frowned. The two of them were silently waiting for me to speak. The fact that I hadn’t talked about Lee Jun-seok all this time. The fact that Lee Yoon-woo had immediately noticed Lee Jun-seok’s interest. And even the fact that he was upset that I hadn’t told him. I even told them that we were living together while I was talking about it, but the point that surprised the two of them wasn’t ‘living together.’
“No, you’re saying you’ve been dating for 5 years and this is the first time you’ve fought?”
Yeon-ah looked even more surprised than when she heard that I had fought. She was muttering, “No way,” and making an astonished expression.
“…Is that so surprising?”
“Of course. We seem to have fought for 5 out of the 7 years we’ve been together.”
Yeon-ah was more excited than usual, saying that Assistant Manager Choi was a true romantic and that she had felt it at the company dinner yesterday, but that she was learning today for the first time that such a relationship was possible.
“That’s not the point right now…”
“Ah, that’s right. I know. You’re saying that your boyfriend is angry and you don’t know what to do.”
Yeon-ah, who was twitching her cheeks, pointed at me with her spoon. When I nodded silently, she smiled brightly. Soon after, a clear answer popped out of Yeon-ah’s mouth.
“Just leave him alone.”
It couldn’t have been a simpler solution. It was too easy for something I had been worrying about all night and all day. Except for the fact that I couldn’t possibly put it into practice.
“He’ll get over it eventually.”
“That’s right, that’s the answer in those situations.”
Unlike me, who was frowning, even Assistant Manager Yoo nodded in agreement this time. Yeon-ah put down her spoon again and added calmly.
“If you’re really worried, you can ask him what he wants to eat when you get off work and buy it for him. But you know that if you touch him wrong, you’ll fight even more, right?”
Beep, beep, my phone vibrated. A familiar name popped up on the phone I was blankly checking. ‘I just woke up.’ That short message melted away the lump in my heart. There was also a sense of relief that nothing had happened.
“It’s Assistant Manager Choi’s fault for not telling him… but it’s not like you did it on purpose, and your boyfriend will understand. He knows that you didn’t do anything wrong and that you’re sorry,”
Yeon-ah said that and shrugged. ‘Everyone’s like that. I know it in my head…’ The rest of her words flowed out like a sigh.
“Just because the situation is resolved doesn’t mean the emotions are resolved.”
* * *
The sky covered with sheep clouds was as blue as if paint had been dissolved in it. Lee Yoon-woo once said that smoking a cigarette on a day like this made him feel so good.
I didn’t like him smoking, but I still vividly remembered the scene of him exhaling smoke. In the moment his long eyelashes lowered demurely, I wanted to become the scattered smoke and permeate Lee Yoon-woo.
‘Only bad feelings keep lingering.’
Yeon-ah’s words lingered in my mind even as I was calling Lee Yoon-woo. Yeon-ah, who had not wasted her 7 years of dating, gave advice based on her experiences in a gentle voice. Assistant Manager Yoo was just listening, but he seemed to fully agree with Yeon-ah’s words.
‘Since you received an apology, you can’t get angry, and if you talk about it, you’ll obviously become a petty person. If you keep suppressing it alone, your feelings will fluctuate.’
‘But, at some point, you’ll be okay.’
‘To be exact, you forget it… If you forget it like that, you can have a normal conversation again.’
‘How can a person’s head and emotions go together? Especially since dating is done with emotions, not reason.’
‘So don’t worry and just make a phone call.’
Beep, the dial tone rang. Usually, I should be hearing his voice by now, but Lee Yoon-woo didn’t answer the phone until the voice message came on. Should I call again just once? As I was thinking that, my phone immediately rang.
“Hello?”
—Oh, Tae-gyeom…
Lee Yoon-woo responded with a drawn-out voice. His low voice revealed a lingering sleepiness that he hadn’t managed to erase. He must have fallen asleep again shortly after sending the message that he had woken up.
“Were you sleeping?”
—Yeah, after contacting you… I don’t even know when I fell asleep.
Rustling sounds came from the other side of the phone. I could hear him yawning softly. I could vividly picture the tears welling up in his drooping eyes even without seeing them.
“Have you eaten?”
—Not yet. Have you?
“I ate with my colleagues.”
I wanted to ask if his anger had subsided, but I lacked the courage to do so. Saying I was sorry about yesterday also seemed like stirring up trouble, so I couldn’t say it. All I could do was nag him out of concern.
“I made breakfast in the morning, so don’t eat anything weird and eat properly. Don’t fill up on drinks. You’ll get sick again.”
—When have I ever eaten anything weird… That’s the kind of nagging I heard when I was a student.
I didn’t know I would feel so good hearing his grumbling retort. The coldness from last night was gone, and Lee Yoon-woo was as calm and languid as ever. Had he forgotten his upset feelings as Yeon-ah said? If so, that would be more than wonderful.
—Are you going to be late today?
“No, I’m going to go home early.”
Since we had a company dinner yesterday, there shouldn’t be anything today. It’s already been over a month since I’ve been aimlessly working overtime, and it wouldn’t make sense to be held back until today. I was really feeling like I wanted to report it to the labor office, overtime pay or not.
“Let’s eat something delicious for dinner.”
I should eat and talk slowly again. If Lee Yoon-woo really seems okay, it would be okay to just bury it. Maybe I was just worrying too much about something that wasn’t a big deal.
—Work hard.
“Yeah, see you later.”
The call ended in a peaceful atmosphere. Although the phone hung up before I could say I love you, it was a decent success. If we could spend some time alone after work like this, I could blow away this uneasy feeling.
Until then, I thought this refreshing feeling would continue. Even the sky, with the clouds gone, seemed to be cheering for my time with Lee Yoon-woo, and there were no obstacles until I got off work.
Yes, until Assistant Manager Min returned to the office 10 minutes before the end of lunch break and said this.
“Everyone doesn’t have plans today, right? Shall we go eat meat?”
The plans I had carefully built up turned to dust in an instant. It was the first time since joining the company that I sincerely wanted to quit.
* * *
Company dinners are heinous events that no one welcomes, but only those who promote them exist. Lonely superiors who are not welcomed at home mainly set the stage, and powerless and pitiful employees are forcibly recruited. Occasionally, there were company dinners that everyone enjoyed, but that possibility was inversely proportional to the number of participants and frequency.
“…Shall I kill Assistant Manager Min?”
An eerie voice pierced my ear. It wasn’t me who said it, but it was a word that accurately represented my feelings. Assistant Manager Yoo retorted sharply to Yeon-ah, who was putting out a cigarette with a haggard look.
“Please do it as soon as possible.”
Three days. The company dinner promoted by Assistant Manager Min had already been going on for three consecutive days. The department members, who had initially pretended to be happy, couldn’t hide their exhaustion from the continuous company dinners. It was called a company dinner, but drinking with Assistant Manager Min was so boring that it was better to work overtime.
“Haa.”
I silently held a paper cup in my hand. The miserably crumpled paper cup resembled the faces of me, Assistant Manager Yoo, and Yeon-ah. I don’t know for sure, but the department members probably wouldn’t be much different either.
“Assistant Manager Choi, you don’t like company dinners either, right?”
Yeon-ah said that and took out another cigarette. She’s not usually someone who chain-smokes, but she seems to be in a complicated mood today.
“I don’t like it. I thought I could leave work on time after the project ended…”
Before I could finish speaking, my frustration soared. It was an emotion that I had been trying to ignore because I felt like I would explode the moment I faced it. Assistant Manager Yoo narrowed his eyes at my nervous gesture of messing up my hair.
“Tae-gyeom, by any chance…”
His sharp gaze seemed to see right through my inner thoughts. It’s too bothersome to manage my expression now, and it’s ambiguous to cut off his words. As I silently put my hand in my pocket, the question I expected popped out.
“Didn’t you make up with your boyfriend?”
Three days ago, after receiving the notice of the company dinner from Assistant Manager Min, I immediately called Lee Yoon-woo and explained the situation. He said it was okay as always, and joked while asking about the company dinner menu.
The problem was the one word he said in a scary voice just before hanging up the phone.
‘…That person too?’
It was what I had said to Lee Yoon-woo sometime ago. When he said he was eating with club members, I asked if Kim Do-hyun was with him. At that time, my stomach was boiling, and I was blinded by jealousy, so I went straight to the club room.
‘He’ll come, but I won’t run into him anyway.’
Feelings are emotions that easily seep out even with the slightest gap. Whether it’s buried in memory or hidden behind reason. When a similar situation occurs, it suddenly rushes in.
‘….’
The silence over the phone fully conveyed the emotions he was feeling. In that brief moment, Yeon-ah’s words that only bad feelings remain came to mind. As expected, he ended the call in a slightly stiff tone.
‘Have a good time.’
After that, it was a series of inexplicable mismatches. Lee Yoon-woo fell asleep before I got home, and woke up after I went to work. Even the occasional messages we exchanged had decreased significantly since that day.
“There’s nothing to make up for. We can’t talk.”
It couldn’t be explained unless he was angry. It was also infuriating that he, who usually waited for me, fell asleep without a word, and that he always answered the phone one beat late when I called during the day. And decisively, the words he said when he ended the call a little while ago.
‘…You have company dinners often.’
I felt like my insides were rotting away. I was angry that we couldn’t talk, and the last face I saw was that cold one in the car a few days ago.
Anxiety, impatience, and even Lee Yoon-woo withdrawal symptoms. Dirty emotions were mixed up and it was like a time bomb about to explode.
“You live together, but you don’t have time to talk?”
Assistant Manager Yoo tilted his cigarette and asked lightly. ‘You can wake him up if he’s sleeping.’ Those words made my heart even more complicated.
“He can’t sleep well once he wakes up… I feel sorry to wake him up when it’s late.”
For Lee Yoon-woo, who works as a freelancer, his sleep pattern was more important than anything else. I forcibly live a regular life, but he could ruin his habits in the blink of an eye. If I woke him up wrong and he stayed up all night, his health would collapse in an instant.
“What about the phone?”
“He’s also working, so I feel bad to bother him. Even if he answers, he hangs up quickly.”
“…Is he really angry?”
I frowned without realizing it. Assistant Manager Yoo waved his hands as if telling me to calm down.
“No, think about it. Tae-gyeom is so anxious, how can he be okay? That’s like avoiding you on purpose.”
“Hey, don’t make Assistant Manager Choi anxious. The other person might not be thinking anything.”
“Is that so?”
Assistant Manager Yoo stroked his cheek and narrowed his brow. He was lost in thought, and he put an unlit cigarette in his mouth. His gaze was still directed at me.
“What do you think, Tae-gyeom?”
* * *
The clock was already pointing to quitting time. I could feel the employees exchanging glances as if playing an eye game. At the timing when everyone would grab their bags as soon as one person got up, Assistant Manager Min was the first to open his mouth.
“Okay, then everyone…”
Ugh, damn it. Assistant Manager Yoo spat out profanity. It was a small voice that only I could hear next to me. Assistant Manager Min got up, grabbing his jacket with a very excited face.
“Let’s go to the company dinner!”
The employees got up like zombies. Everyone had an awkward smile on their faces. In particular, Yeon-ah was so sharp that she could burn Assistant Manager Min to death with just her eyes.
“I’m not forcing you, so feel free to think about it, okay? How about it, Jun-seok? Do you have plans?”
“…Oh, plans. I cleared everything to go to the company dinner.”
Lee Jun-seok’s face trembled. It looked like he was trying to slip away, but he was caught by Assistant Manager Min, so today’s target was a sure thing.
‘What do you think, Tae-gyeom?’
I got up from my seat, recalling what Assistant Manager Yoo had said during the day. Assistant Manager Min looked at me with sparkling eyes. Looking at his confident expression, he seemed to think that I would naturally participate in the company dinner.
“Oh, Assistant Manager Choi too today…”
“I’ll go in first.”
A heavy silence fell. Lee Jun-seok, who was flattering him, Assistant Manager Yoo, who was grumbling and packing his things, and Yeon-ah, who was taking out her cell phone and contacting someone, all turned to look at me with surprised eyes. In particular, Assistant Manager Min’s face was the most worth seeing.
“I have a prior engagement.”
I think I’ve endured enough for three days. If you have a conscience, you wouldn’t say anything about this.
“I’ll see you on Monday.”
Fuck, fire me if you don’t like it.
* * *
It goes without saying, Lee Yoon-woo wasn’t sleeping. As soon as I pressed the door lock and went inside, the face I wanted to see came into view. His surprised lips, his slowly blinking eyelids, and his jet-black eyes, it had all been a long time.
“Did you get off work? What about the company dinner?”
I hugged him as soon as I saw him. Lee Yoon-woo, who straightened his body awkwardly, took a step closer. As I buried my nose in his hair, I felt Lee Yoon-woo’s unique pheromone to the fullest.
“…I ditched the company dinner.”
Ah, it’s Lee Yoon-woo. The kind Lee Yoon-woo who isn’t sleeping and hugs me back. It’s only been three days, but it’s been a whole three days for me.
“You have to support me if I get fired.”
I rubbed my cheek against his soft hair. I inhaled deeply until my chest swelled, and hugged him tightly as if I would crush him. Lee Yoon-woo, who groaned, chuckled lightly.
“I’ll have to try.”
He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist. The warmth that hugged me made the damp feeling of the past few days feel refreshing. I gently stroked his neck and ears, and pressed my lips firmly on the top of his head.
“Let’s eat. I’ll go wash up.”
While showering, I organized the words I hadn’t been able to say. Excuses for the frequent company dinners, testimony that Lee Jun-seok wasn’t hitting on me, an apology for making him feel bad, and the feelings I had felt in the meantime.
I belatedly realized that if I had just endured one more day, it would have been the weekend, but I didn’t regret skipping the company dinner. My patience had run out too long ago to wait until tomorrow.
“Are you done washing?”
Lee Yoon-woo was waiting for me with a troubled face. I wondered why, but I realized the reason as soon as I arrived in the kitchen. The breakfast I had prepared for him was still on the table, untouched.
“…You didn’t eat?”
How could it still be there after several hours since I left for work? Even if he skipped breakfast, it didn’t make sense that he didn’t eat lunch.
“I didn’t have an appetite…”
He rubbed his eyes, avoiding my gaze as if he was sorry. He closed his eyes tightly and rolled them left and right a few times, as if he was tired. I felt sorry for him, so I stopped trying to nag him and sat down at the table.
“Why don’t you get glasses and wear them at least when you’re looking at the monitor? Or take vitamins.”
“No, it’s okay. More than that, Tae-gyeom.”
Lee Yoon-woo sat across from me and swallowed hard. The moment I saw his slowly rising and falling Adam’s apple, I reflexively knew what he was going to say.
“I have something to say.”
The moment has come.
My back stiffened with tension. His serious face was as scary as a judge delivering a death sentence. Even though I clearly didn’t do anything wrong, I felt like I should apologize first. Knowing or not knowing my heart, he spoke in a low voice.
“We’ve been together for 5 years.”
“…Oh, that’s right.”
I thought at most that he would talk about Lee Jun-seok. That he had been feeling bad, and that he wanted to talk about it. I thought he would tell me how he felt, like he had done sometime ago. Of course, I had also thought about how to resolve it.
“We’ve been together for a long time…”
However, the introduction to the story was so different from what I had thought. The length of time we had been together didn’t matter when it came to talking about Lee Jun-seok. Expressing dissatisfaction also had nothing to do with how many years we had been dating.
I’ve been thinking, we’ve been together for a long time. No matter how much I thought about it, there was only one thing that could come out next.
“We’ve been together enough, at this point.”
Enough for what? I wanted to ask that. No matter how many years we dated, or how many more years we would date in the future. There was nothing ‘enough’ in my relationship with Lee Yoon-woo. At least, that’s what I thought.
“We,”
What if he says let’s break up?
The assumption that flashed through my mind instantly bleached my head white. Even though I knew it was an extreme guess, I couldn’t think of anything else at that moment. Lee Yoon-woo’s reactions over the past few days, and the times that kept going wrong. The words he was going to say to me, who was recalling all of that, were obvious.
“Will you marry me?”
Blink, our eyes met. My head was dizzy, and I felt like I could hear ringing in my ears. As I foolishly closed and opened my eyes, something trickled down my cheek.
“…….”
“…….”
A heavy silence fell on the table. Even Lee Yoon-woo, who had said the words, was flustered, and I, who had heard the words, was beyond words. Lee Yoon-woo, who was blankly looking at my face, suddenly opened his mouth with a surprised face.
“Why… Why are you crying?”
When did I see that face? A long time ago, when I opened the innermost stall in the bathroom? Was that the expression Lee Yoon-woo, who saved me then, looked at me with?
“…….”
Trickle, tears flowed down. One drop, two drops, and countless more. With each blink, Lee Yoon-woo’s face was blurred by my hazy vision. He was still staring at me with a blank look.
“……I.”
I slowly covered my eyes. I could feel the heat rising warmly behind my palms. As I bit my lower lip tightly and tried to calm my emotions, Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromone came close with a thud.
“What’s wrong, Tae-gyeom.”
He grabbed my wrist and cupped my cheek with his other hand. In the brightly lit vision, I could see Lee Yoon-woo with his eyebrows lowered. He lowered his posture to the point of kneeling and looked up at me with a flustered expression. He wiped away his tears slightly and whispered.
“Don’t cry.”
I threw myself into Lee Yoon-woo’s arms. The pheromones I had learned over time gently wrapped around my body. Lee Yoon-woo hugged me tightly and stroked my back, and rubbed his cheek against my ear as if acting cute.
“…Weren’t you angry at me?”
I stuttered out a sentence. Lee Yoon-woo, who stopped moving, asked back in a very embarrassed voice, as if wondering what I was talking about.
“Why would I be?”
I let out a hollow laugh. What burst out with it was the relief that he wasn’t angry at me. The futility of the worries I had been having. And the unreality of this situation.
“…You didn’t contact me during the day.”
“No, I was busy with work. You were busy too.”
“When I come home, you’re asleep…”
“…That’s because I’m sleepy…”
“You even turn off your phone…”
As I continued, I was overcome with sadness. As I bit my lower lip and lowered my head, Lee Yoon-woo pulled me into a tighter embrace. He was so flustered that the pheromones surrounding him fluctuated wildly. He gently stroked my back, softening his voice as much as possible.
“How could I ever be angry with you…”
It was a word filled with affection. His voice, his touch, and his pheromones. Everything was kind, as if comforting me.
“Don’t cry, okay?”
“…I thought you were going to break up with me.”
I wasn’t even ashamed of crying. Various emotions were mixed together, and all of them flowed out as tears. I’ve pretended to cry while being held, but I’ve never actually cried while being held like this. Sadness welled up endlessly.
“I thought you were angry with me and were going to call it quits.”
“Don’t be silly…”
Lee Yoon-woo let out a hollow laugh and pulled away from me. After confirming my still-crying face, he gently rubbed the corners of my eyes with his thumb. I leaned my cheek against Lee Yoon-woo’s palm, acting spoiled.
“…Could it be because of that thing last time?”
I burrowed into his arms without a word. Lee Yoon-woo sighed softly and gently stroked my hair. It was the same sigh, but it was different from the one he had let out in the car a few days ago.
“It’s not your fault.”
“……”
“I was annoyed, but frankly, if I had to tell you about everyone who’s interested in you, it would be a lot of work just to remember them all.”
Another sigh escaped. It wasn’t directed at me; it felt like Lee Yoon-woo was blaming himself. He hugged me tightly around the neck, released his pheromones, and whispered very softly.
“…I’m sorry.”
I tugged at Lee Yoon-woo’s collar with my fingertips. It was a signal for him to get up, but he hugged me even tighter in that position. After a moment of choosing his words, he finally spoke briefly.
“I’m pregnant.”
It was a surprisingly simple statement. I had expected it enough, and suspected it from the beginning. But the moment I heard it in his voice, more intense emotions than ever before washed over me.
“3 weeks… no, I guess it’s been 4 weeks now.”
“……”
“It’s too early, and they said I’m recessive, so I was worried and couldn’t tell you. But maybe that’s why, I keep getting sleepy and sensitive, so…”
Lee Yoon-woo didn’t hide his hesitation as he spoke. After taking me out of his arms for a moment, he looked me straight in the eye and smiled. The way his eyes curved awkwardly was more lovely than ever.
“I underestimated Dominant Alphas too much.”
I felt like I was suffocating. Before I could say anything, tears started pouring out first. Lee Yoon-woo was startled and hugged me, chuckling softly as he muttered.
“Why are you crying again?”
“I…”
Lee Yoon-woo calmly waited for me as I sobbed, my shoulders shaking. I forced the tears back and barely managed to get my voice out.
“I’ll be good…”
I heard him laugh. And him asking back, ‘How much more?’ Following that, in the word of gratitude he gave me, the answer ‘Me too’ returned in a pleasant voice.
It was a long time before the tears finally subsided. I lifted Lee Yoon-woo up and sat him on my lap, hugging him like a child. He nestled into my arms without resistance, resting his head comfortably on my neck.
“It must have been hard.”
I said in a trembling voice. Lee Yoon-woo didn’t respond to that short comfort.
“No appetite, bad mood, and the person who’s supposed to be the father is always late.”
“……”
“You’ve been suffering alone. My Yoon-woo.”
“…What.”
His voice was slightly wet. Was it just my imagination, or did I feel moisture in the part where he had buried his face? His pheromones, now more stable, gently mixed with mine.
We shared our body heat like that for a long time. Until the breath that had been lacking was filled, until Lee Yoon-woo’s warmth resembled mine. And until the tears I shed were somehow transmitted to him.
* * *
“I was going to propose.”
After the tears stopped, Lee Yoon-woo and I sat side by side and ate. Fortunately, he ate heartily for the first time in a while and finished the entire bowl of rice.
“I bought a ring, but I didn’t know how to give it to you, so I just carried it around.”
I sat him down on the sofa and brought out the ring I had been hiding. It was just in my bag, but I never imagined I would give it to him like this.
The ring on Lee Yoon-woo’s hand sparkled more than I had imagined, and he stared blankly at his outstretched finger.
“I’ll make you happy.”
I was reminded of the first time we exchanged couple rings. Back then, when we promised to live together and vaguely imagined a future together, I loved Lee Yoon-woo just as much as I do now. I loved him, and because I loved him, I vowed to make him happy no matter what.
“Let’s get married, Yoon-woo.”
Lee Yoon-woo wordlessly placed his lips on mine. His lips, which lingered briefly before parting, drew a beautiful curve. He intertwined his fingers with mine, kissed the back of my hand, and placed a ring identical to his on my finger.
“It’s pretty.”
That day’s events were a source of teasing for the rest of our lives. Just like he had cried at the words ‘Let’s live together,’ I had also cried at the words ‘Let’s get married.’
It was the moment when my life was completely filled with Lee Yoon-woo.
Omega Complex Side Story
―End.
Omega Complex Volume 3 Complete