By Zephyria Every memorable moment was filled with Choi Tae-kyum. From the moment I was born, no, even before I was born, he and I were bound by a tenacious fate. Our parents were high school classmates, and we even lived next door. It would have been stranger if we weren’t friends.
Choi Tae-kyum was a particularly small and pretty child. He was a head shorter than me, with round eyes and pale skin. He was so adorable. So much so that, even though we were the same age, I felt like I had to protect him.
Naturally, the way I cherished Choi Tae-kyum became quite unique. We went to and from school together every day, and we shared every little thing. He complained about my overprotective behavior a few times, but he didn’t seem to dislike it. The evidence was that he would come to wake me up, who was a heavy sleeper, or openly show jealousy when I was with other friends.
The problem was that he started avoiding me from the moment he manifested as an Alpha. At first, he went to school without me knowing, and then he openly ran away from me. I grew distant from him without knowing why, and that’s how we became middle school sophomores.
What was I feeling back then? I think I felt a sense of loss rather than anger. My heart ached at the fact that he, who used to follow me around, no longer needed me, and I couldn’t enjoy myself no matter who I was with. I even had the absurd thought that he wasn’t hanging out with me because I was a Beta.
Why can’t I manifest? The small resentment that arose quickly swelled. It was clear that he was avoiding me because I wasn’t an Alpha, because I was an unmanifested Beta. So, my affection and obsession had become annoying to him. I cried in bed every night, and the emptiness slowly subsided.
But those days ended more easily than I thought.
It was the day I went to school a little early for my turn as a cleaning duty student. I felt a strange tension in the bathroom I went to in order to wash the mop. With a subtle sense of unease, I opened all the stalls in the bathroom, and in the last stall, which was tightly closed, I encountered an unimaginable figure.
“Choi Tae-kyum?”
Choi Tae-kyum was a mess. His hair was disheveled, and his school uniform was half-undressed. Had my small and precious friend ever felt so unfamiliar? I will never forget the moment he sat slumped on the toilet, looking at me with dazed eyes.
“…Lee Yoon-woo.”
My gaze reached between his half-swollen pants. He knew I was looking at his center, but he didn’t stop me. No, it was more like he didn’t have the strength to stop me.
The mop I was holding fell weakly. I could also hear the bathroom door closing with a creak. Instead of asking anything, I helped Choi Tae-kyum put on his clothes. I buttoned his shirt, fastened his pants, and carefully hugged his small body.
“It’s okay.”
I think I just felt it instinctively. What had happened to him, why he couldn’t resist. And why he was sitting there sprawled out without even thinking of asking for help.
It was said to be something that Alphas who manifested early often experienced. They couldn’t hide their pheromones and exposed them as they were, unintentionally arousing Omegas. Choi Tae-kyum was a dominant Alpha, and his pheromones were so intense that they could intoxicate even Omegas who weren’t in heat. That day, the Omega he aroused was a senior in the third grade who had just manifested.
“I hate Omegas.”
My shoulder was getting wet. I could feel the small body in my arms heaving as it poured out its sorrow. I felt like I knew what he had been through while avoiding me.
“…I really hate them so much.”
The anger-filled resentment was heartbreaking. The powerlessness of not being able to escape, the resentment towards his swollen lower body, and a little bit of shame. He seemed more upset that he had been aroused by an Omega than the fact that he had been molested. Just as Omegas react to Alpha pheromones, it’s an inevitable physiological phenomenon that Alphas react to Omega pheromones.
Choi Tae-kyum cried silently for a long time. Until other kids came into the bathroom a few times, and the bell rang to start class.
How much time had passed? He spoke in a voice that was barely audible.
“I’m glad you’re a Beta.”
After that day, Choi Tae-kyum and I went back to normal. No, it was a little different from before. I was more overprotective of him, and he relied on me more.
The only person he could show his shame to, and a Beta who couldn’t feel pheromones. At the time, I was growing faster than my peers, so I was a very good support for Choi Tae-kyum.
I thought it was a good thing. I felt sorry for him, but I liked the fact that I was his only safe haven. I was also satisfied with the fact that he didn’t have to try to control his pheromones when he was with me. Calming him down and protecting him. The things that only I could do made Choi Tae-kyum have the illusion that he always needed my protection.
“…Did you get taller again?”
But before long, I realized that this arrogance was wrong. As the years changed, Choi Tae-kyum grew taller and taller.
At first, he was about the same height as me, then he became taller than me. He grew taller, and his shoulders broadened. His hands and feet grew bigger, and he even learned how to control his pheromones. His pretty features now had a much stronger, more intense feel.
“Yeah, I keep getting taller every time I measure.”
Choi Tae-kyum was no longer within my fence. The shameless emptiness that came over me inevitably turned into anxiety. I was still a Beta, still in the same place, but I felt like Choi Tae-kyum, who had grown into a handsome Alpha, was getting further and further away.
“It’s okay now.”
Whenever I showed my anxiety, Choi Tae-kyum would smile nonchalantly and press down on my head. He would cover the top of my head with his large palm, and then gently rummage through the back of my head. It was his own way of comforting me, but the effect was minimal. The gentle caress only gave me a brief sense of relief, but it wasn’t a fundamental solution.
To make matters worse, Choi Tae-kyum became very popular. It wasn’t that he was being targeted by perverted Omegas like before. More and more kids were blushing when they looked at him, and in high school, there was a pretty high chance that there would be a letter on his desk every morning.
“You have another letter.”
I liked that, and I didn’t like that. I was glad that he was safe, but I was afraid that he would avoid me like before. I thought he would leave me without hesitation, saying that he didn’t need an incompetent Beta.
“So annoying…”
But Choi Tae-kyum didn’t avoid me, and he didn’t make other friends. He just crumpled up every love letter he saw on his desk.
“Hey, what are you doing crumpling it up like that?”
I was the one who was embarrassed by his rough behavior. Choi Tae-kyum threw the crumpled envelope into the trash can, and I stared at the newly emptied trash can with a dumbfounded expression. The only envelope in the blue trash can felt somehow out of place.
“The person who sent it must be upset.”
When I muttered softly, he laughed as if he was dumbfounded. Then, he sat down next to me and grumbled softly.
“They put a lot of Omega pheromones on the letter. It’s disgusting.”
We were nineteen years old, but Choi Tae-kyum hadn’t escaped his trauma. He frowned whenever an Omega passed by, and he washed his hands like crazy if he accidentally got pheromones on him. The reason he rejected most confessions was also because of his Omega phobia.
“…Ah, pheromones.”
I felt strange at times like that. I was dissatisfied with the fact that I was a Beta, but sometimes I was relieved that I wasn’t an Omega. In the past, I could protect him because I was a Beta, and now I can be by his side because I’m not an Omega.
“Lee Yoon-woo, you don’t know…”
Choi Tae-kyum avoided my gaze a little awkwardly. He lowered his eyes slightly, as if he was embarrassed by the blatant displeasure he had shown.
“Pheromones are like that. They get on things, and they get on you when you pass by. You can’t avoid smelling them even if you don’t breathe.”
“…Hmm.”
It was hard to understand 100%. I was a Beta, and I had never felt even the pheromones that others found attractive. But even so, I knew that it would be difficult to live a normal life if things continued like this.
“Wouldn’t it be better to fix it? That, you know, hating pheromones.”
“Why?”
Choi Tae-kyum retorted as if I was talking nonsense to the words I had uttered without meaning. Then, he looked at me quietly and blinked. His dark eyes looked at me without wavering.
“Why would I fix it?”
His voice was quite calm. No, he seemed a little angry.
“It’s a problem that can be solved by not meeting Omegas. I don’t need to fix it.”
With those words, Choi Tae-kyum closed his eyes and lay down on his desk. It was an implicit meaning that he wouldn’t say anything more. I stared at the back of his head quietly and sighed softly.
“You know I didn’t mean it that way.”
When I stroked his slightly sticking-out hair, his shoulders twitched as he lay down. I carefully stroked the back of his head. It was the same thing he did when he comforted me.
“I’m just worried. You’re going to run into Omegas all the time in your life, and you can’t just keep avoiding them every time.”
“…I’ve gotten a lot better.”
Judging from his mumbling answer, he seemed to have calmed down. In fact, Choi Tae-kyum’s words weren’t wrong either. Unlike in middle school, when he would freak out whenever he saw an Omega, Choi Tae-kyum was much better now. His expression still hardened, but he didn’t run away or get scared. Rather, he was closer to feeling disgusted.
I thought I would make a mistake if I said anything more, so I just nodded silently. I slowly patted his back with the hand that had been stroking his head. Choi Tae-kyum buried his face in his arms without saying anything. The slightly exposed ear seemed to be a little red.
“You’re getting a fever again, Tae-kyum.”
When he was young, the small Choi Tae-kyum would suddenly get a fever like this. He’s bigger and stronger than me now, but at times like this, he overlapped with the small and weak Choi Tae-kyum of the past. Of course, it was a secret that only I knew.
“Take a nap, I’ll wake you up when the homeroom teacher comes.”
Choi Tae-kyum didn’t answer and turned his head away from me. You heartless bastard, I grumbled inwardly and stroked his round head. I wondered if he was already asleep, as his soft breathing lingered in my ear.
It was a peaceful moment. Choi Tae-kyum was no longer a target for Omegas, and even though I didn’t need to protect him, we were still friends. The daily life that seemed like it would never be broken was quiet.
“…I’m glad I’m not an Omega.”
The words I uttered without meaning didn’t reach Choi Tae-kyum. In fact, they were words that didn’t contain any emotion. The fact that he hated Omegas, and therefore hated Omegas, was a story that had nothing to do with me.
And that winter, I manifested as an Omega.