By Zephyria 
I kept running away, but there was a limit.
I made the excuse of leaving early in the morning and coming back late in the evening so often that he said he would wait for me in the drawing room all night. I could ignore this too, but I couldn’t avoid it forever.
Eventually, I headed to the drawing room in my pajamas in the early morning.
“Your Highness, good morning.”
“……”
The Duke, with dark circles under his eyes, greeted me with a benevolent smile. Hiding my sullen mood, I smiled back. We exchanged greetings and a few pretentious words that were utterly useless.
He took a sip of tea and said in a casual tone.
“I heard that Your Majesty was very displeased yesterday morning.”
“Because of me?”
“Why would Your Majesty be displeased with you when you are achieving so much these days? On the contrary, he must be proud of you.”
I clicked my tongue inwardly as I watched the Duke laugh heartily. How could he not know the Emperor’s personality after serving him for so long?
“It has been a long time since Your Highness married, and quite some time has passed since you entered the palace. But there are still no heirs……”
The Duke muttered with a pitiful expression. Anyone who didn’t know him would think he was worried. His facial expressions, tone, and the trembling of his voice were that delicate and impressive.
Even if it had been a long time since we got married, Nadia was still young, so it couldn’t be helped. But why is the Emperor suddenly making a fuss about this? Is he really about to die?
“It’s about time Your Highness started thinking about marriage. Is there anyone you have in mind? If not, I will order a search for a good match.”
At those words, I couldn’t help but let out a long sigh.
‘You must not kill people carelessly. Even if they have committed a crime. Why?’
Whenever I felt suffocated and wanted to destroy something, the Crown Prince’s words came to mind.
‘Once someone is dead, you can’t bring them back. That’s why you have to be careful and deliberate. So, even if they are criminals, you shouldn’t kill them right away, but look into the circumstances. And they must be judged by the law.’
The people I killed were heinous criminals beyond redemption. But the Crown Prince scolded me. At first, I didn’t understand, but when I thought about it, I realized that my actions were not much different from the Emperor’s in a broad sense.
As he said, it was important to look into the circumstances and see if there were any mistakes in the judgment. I realized belatedly that the reason why criminals were put on trial after a period of time was to review the process.
I had vowed to kill all the gods in the world, but I was trying to become a god myself.
“Your Highness?”
While I was lost in thought, the Duke looked at me with a puzzled expression. I took a deep breath to calm the violence boiling inside me, counted numbers in my head, and then spoke.
“Tell me, Duke.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“What do you mean by a good match? A woman who can bear a son faster than the Crown Princess?”
Even at my blunt words, his expression didn’t change. With eyes devoid of any emotion, the Duke silently put down the teacup he was holding.
“I apologize if I have made you uncomfortable.”
“You have been doing nothing but things to apologize for since the first time I met you.”
“I am sorry. All my actions come from loyalty, so please do not be angry.”
I had held back from saying it out loud because I was afraid of stirring up trouble, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“I have no intention of fighting for the throne.”
When I said it outright to stop him, his mouth finally stopped. I looked at the dark tea in the teacup and continued.
“Just as a person who always smiles and shares what they have is not a fool, I am not pursuing moderate politics because I am timid and weak.”
“Your Highness, I think you are misunderstanding.”
I crossed my arms and tilted my head to the side.
“Misunderstanding what?”
“I know that I am not well-liked by Your Highness. I also know that you think of me as an unprincipled person who cares nothing for the well-being of the people and only seeks my own selfish gains.”
“……”
It was too accurate to say anything.
“You may not believe me, but I love this country. I have no doubt that the end will be on this land, just as the beginning of our family was.”
It was unnecessarily long-winded, but that was the way nobles spoke. If I had acted according to my personality, I would have slapped him a few times and threatened to tear his mouth apart if he spouted any more nonsense. But because of the Crown Prince’s request, and because I wanted to persuade him with words like a human being, I listened patiently.
The Crown Prince said that the basis of conversation is listening.
“……and everything is happening too fast. Radical changes are bound to cause problems. We need to build a solid foundation from the bottom up. Simply piling things up quickly is not always the best way.”
But no matter how much I listened, most of it was nonsense. I agreed to some extent that the changes were too fast, but when it came to bad habits, the Crown Prince’s method wasn’t all that bad. It might be better to just throw them all away at once than to get rid of them gradually.
If we did things one by one as the Duke said, the Crown Prince would face difficulties every time.
“As you know, one of the reasons why the Gaulaprum war did not end was because of the meeting planned by His Highness the Crown Prince.”
“……”
“In the past, Actan crossed the border with an army without a declaration of war in order to occupy the green land. His Highness wanted to end the war peacefully because of this fact.”
I learned about this after the war ended. The Crown Prince had been constantly trying to contact Gaulaprum, but the results were not very good.
“Everyone knows that there is a moral problem. But Your Highness, do you know how long this war has been going on? It’s been going on for decades. How much malice and emotion must have accumulated in that deep valley over nearly decades?”
“……”
“Is this something that can be resolved through dialogue? Even among the nobles, opinions were divided, but Your Highness ended the war.”
It wasn’t intentional, but somehow I ended up scratching their itch.
“Because of that, there are many commoners who praise Your Highness. Thanks to your tireless efforts day and night, the security has improved, hasn’t it? You even comforted the families who lost their loved ones when you executed the criminal groups.”
I didn’t kill them to comfort them. I just didn’t have any mercy from the beginning because they were people who deserved to die. It seemed like they had misunderstood something.
Or maybe they were just trying to create a rivalry with the Crown Prince.
“I don’t mean to compare, but something similar happened in the past. At that time, His Highness the Crown Prince did not kill a single one of the heinous criminals. Some of them were even released, and the rest are still in prison……”
“Stop.”
I sighed, holding my forehead. I felt so suffocated that I raised my voice without realizing it. I didn’t know what to say because I couldn’t get my thoughts in order.
The Crown Prince and the Duke both had the same goal of benefiting the country. Then they should have a meeting or something to find common ground. Why is this crazy bastard trying to change the Crown Prince?
Come to think of it, who does that arrogant bastard think he is to change what the Emperor has decided?
Should I just cut off one of his arms by mistake? He has two anyway, it’s not like he’ll die without one.
“……”
I closed my eyes and meditated for a moment to calm the rising murderous intent. If he wasn’t from a family that had contributed to the founding of the country…… I couldn’t express my feelings without swearing, so after much deliberation, I opened my mouth.
“I will pretend that I did not hear what you said. Be careful not to let the same thing happen again.”
“Your Highness, I……”
“I hate repeating myself, so keep that in mind.”
“……Yes, Your Highness. I will keep that in mind.”
Watching the Duke finally shut his mouth, I took one last deep breath inwardly.
¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸
There was no way the Crown Prince didn’t know that the nobles were becoming increasingly divided. But it was also awkward to ask him what he was going to do about it.
In fact, it wasn’t that difficult to reunite such divided forces. If you just beat them up, they’ll come together on their own. That’s why the Emperor periodically cracked down on the nobles like he was catching mice. But the Crown Prince would never use such methods.
I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time, but I couldn’t fall asleep. My head was also complicated, and I wanted to meet the Crown Prince right away and talk about anything. If we talked, we might find a solution. Even if we didn’t reach a conclusion, we would at least see a clue.
“……”
It was late, but the problem was that I didn’t have a plausible reason to go see the Crown Prince. If he asked me why I came, I wouldn’t have anything to say.
Then I suddenly remembered the time when the Crown Prince had picked me up when I was injured while I was with Nadia. I felt like this would work, so I took out a dagger and made a small cut on the back of my hand.
After confirming that blood was welling up, I opened the window and jumped down. I went to the Jihade as quietly and quickly as a thief.
As I climbed up the tree, I saw Nadia on the balcony. I deliberately made a noise, and Nadia found me.
“What are you doing here?”
“Just passing by?”
“Mahir! Kyle’s here to play!”
“……”
I wasn’t here to play, I was just passing by……
I was momentarily overwhelmed, but Nadia disappeared like a shot. Soon, Mahir came out onto the balcony with a flustered expression.
“What are you doing at this hour…… Why is the back of your hand like that? Did you get hurt again?”
I twisted my wrist slightly so that he could see it clearly, and the Crown Prince noticed it like a ghost. I pretended to be surprised and looked at the back of my hand. And I looked into his eyes and muttered.
“I must have been scratched by a tree branch. It’s nothing.”
“Where is there an injury that is nothing? Come here.”
At those words, I clicked my tongue with a bothered expression and jumped towards the balcony.
As planned.