By Zephyria 
I had guessed that Talim, which the Emperor had bestowed, would be where I would be staying, given the context. I figured it would be a castle since it had a name, but even a stable would have been fine.
I would have been much more comfortable living with horses than staying in Sa Dillin.
“…….”
However, when I left the banquet hall and stood before the massive castle named Talim, I was so surprised that I couldn’t even blink.
It was as if someone had taken a piece of the night sky embroidered with the Milky Way and sculpted it. Compared to its dark color, the structure itself had many open spaces and large, wide windows, so it didn’t feel stuffy or eerie at all.
The garden was beautiful, and there were no crumbling or dilapidated corners, indicating that it was well-maintained.
I was momentarily lost in the mysterious and beautiful atmosphere before a question arose as I regained my senses.
Why me?
Just then, I heard a sound. Startled, I turned around and saw the First Prince, Kyle. Dozens of retainers followed behind him.
The sight almost made me frown. Had he come all the way here just to show off his power?
“Talim is always mentioned when people talk about the most beautiful castles in Actan. Did you know that?”
Of course, I didn’t. I was hearing the name Talim for the first time. I might have learned about it during one of the classes, but I didn’t remember.
“It’s been well-maintained, but it’s been without an owner for a long time. There might be some inconveniences, so stay with me until it’s ready.”
It took me quite a while to understand what he was saying. In the end, I failed to manage my expression and stared at him with a dumbfounded look. Kyle cleared his throat and said, as if making excuses.
“You must be flustered by this sudden proposal. Ah, first, let me introduce you. This is Asella, who has been with me for a long time. She will take care of all the general management of Talim, so she won’t bother you.”
I had been wondering what he was talking about, but was he planning to assign someone to me? The moment I realized his intention, my heart started pounding again. I was even more annoyed that he had pretended to be harmless earlier.
I took a deep breath and bit my tongue hard to calm my boiling emotions.
“Greetings, Your Highness. I am Asella, and I will be serving you from now on.”
The neat and meticulous-looking woman knelt before me and bowed. I simply stared at the top of her deeply bowed head.
“If there’s anything you don’t know, seek advice from Asella. She knows quite a lot. I’ve also received a lot of advice from her at appropriate times.”
Kyle smiled gently and spoke in a soft voice.
Since he had already decided, there was no way for me to refuse. I would need a Servant to manage this large castle anyway. Rather than having more Servants who would pity me for no reason, it was better to be monitored by Kyle’s person.
“Your Highness, if you have any particular preferences, please let me know. I will keep them in mind as I organize Talim.”
It wasn’t me who answered Asella’s words, but Kyle.
“It’s a bit much to keep talking while standing, so let’s go together for now.”
And so, I was dragged somewhere by his hand. Even as we walked, Kyle’s mouth didn’t stop moving.
“I’m worried that my speech has become stiff after being on the battlefield for so long. Don’t misunderstand if it sounds that way.”
What misunderstanding was he talking about?
“There are so many things I want to ask you. There are so many things I want to hear, but I’m wondering how to start. I was relieved to hear that you were doing well, but it seems like something is going on…….”
As soon as we arrived at Kyle’s residence, he ordered the Servants to bring food.
“You didn’t eat anything at the banquet. Do you not have an appetite? Ah, and I had a birdcage set aside separately. Shall I have it brought?”
Finally, a question I could answer. When I nodded, Kyle smiled. A little later, the birdcage came into the room along with refreshments.
I got up from my seat and went closer to the birdcage to look inside.
“Do you like it? It’s a rare species called Copa, and they say it’s been around since ancient times. Now they only live in high mountainous areas occasionally…….”
I listened to Kyle’s words halfheartedly and said,
“If it’s a rare species, it must be quite expensive.”
He stared blankly at me before nodding.
“I suppose so. I don’t know if anyone would buy it, though…….”
“Why is that? Is it too expensive?”
If that was the reason, I was thinking of haggling appropriately. The important thing wasn’t to sell it for the highest price, but to get the money as soon as possible.
“Um, do you need money?”
He asked me with a troubled look on his face. I hadn’t intended to say anything, but his expression looked so genuinely concerned that I blurted out without realizing it.
“I need as much as possible.”
“Why? To buy sweets?”
“There are people I need to share it with. They recently lost their families unjustly, and I thought they would feel at least a little comforted if they received compensation.”
Even as I spoke, I didn’t know. Whether the word ‘comfort’ was appropriate for them in that situation.
“Did you kill them, by any chance?”
Kyle asked me with the same expression and tone as before. Even though it was clearly an uncomfortable situation, his voice was so calm that I didn’t feel nervous.
“No.”
“Then?”
“They were my retainers.”
“…….”
A moment of silence passed.
While waiting for Kyle’s words, I observed the bird inside the cage. It had long, abundant feathers of various colors, and its tail feathers were particularly beautiful. Its eyes were jet black, and long, delicate eyelashes spread across its eyelids. It had a dignified and elegant feel, so any name wouldn’t suit it.
“Kyle.”
Kyle, who had been silent for a while, called me. When I turned my head, he gestured to me.
“Come here.”
“…….”
“Hurry.”
He patted the seat next to him on the sofa. I took a seat across from him, with the table between us.
“Do you know where they are?”
“I have to find them now. They were working in the Imperial Castle, so their identities must have been confirmed, so it won’t be difficult to find them.”
“I see. Then I’ll take care of that matter. I’ll give them enough compensation, so you keep raising that bird. No one will buy it anyway.”
Just how expensive was it? Or was it because it was a gift from Kyle? Well, it would be funny to sell a gift that was given publicly in such a crowded place. And anyone who bought it wouldn’t be in their right mind.
I had only been thinking about needing money, so I hadn’t been able to think that far ahead.
“Is there anything else you want besides the compensation?”
“…….”
Why was he doing this for me?
I looked at him with suspicious eyes without realizing it. He must have felt that my gaze was disrespectful, but he didn’t scold me.
“Tell me if there’s anything you want.”
At Kyle’s words, my heart began to beat irregularly. Suddenly, my body felt hot, and my stomach churned, so I pursed my lips tightly. I swallowed hard several times to suppress the sudden nausea and said,
“Never again…….”
Why was I so dizzy? Had Kyle put something in the refreshments? No, I hadn’t eaten anything.
“Never let them come near the Imperial Castle again.”
I couldn’t even sit up straight. I swayed from side to side, trying to maintain my balance, but it was impossible. As soon as I finished speaking, I collapsed to the side.
¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸
“……It’s been almost 50 days since the incident. If he’s in this state even now, it must have been much more serious back then. If the Servants hadn’t stopped him then, His Highness would already be dead……. I’m sorry. My words were inappropriate.”
The buzzing in my ears mixed with someone’s voice.
“I’m sorry to say, but this is beyond what I can do. I think we need to bring in my master.”
With the unknown man’s words as the last thing I heard, the light in front of me went out. I quickly opened my eyes again, but the scenery had changed.
“……I will do my best, but even at best……. It seems difficult for him to live past twenty.”
“Twenty? Are you saying he’ll die before he turns twenty?”
“The only hope we can have is that His Highness is still growing…….”
I finally realized that what I had been hearing intermittently whenever I regained consciousness was the voices of the doctor and Kyle.
I was going to die before I turned twenty? That was absurd. I had built up resistance so that I wouldn’t die, but because of that, I was going to die before I even turned twenty.
There was no point in doing something so useless.
I was so dumbfounded that I could only laugh.
I dreamed like that several more times. They were dreams that I couldn’t even remember when I opened my eyes. Then, one day, I opened my eyes and saw Kyle next to me.
“Are you awake?”
He asked, his face lighting up as soon as he made eye contact with me. He very naturally brushed a few strands of hair from my forehead with his fingers. When I turned my head sharply, my neck made a cracking sound.
“Stay still. The doctor has been here, so you’ll be fine soon.”
“…….”
As if trying to reassure me, he lied without batting an eye. But it was ambiguous to point that out. I simply didn’t respond and looked elsewhere before looking at him with a sudden thought.
As soon as Kyle saw my eyes, he spoke as if he had read my mind.
“The compensation has been delivered, so don’t worry. We spared no support to help those who wanted to leave Actan and settle down. Some of them must have already crossed the sea and arrived by now.”
“…….”
I released the strength in my wide eyes. That was enough. I felt like something that had been stuck and knotted in my chest had been released.
“Oh, and they left you a letter before they left. Shall I have it brought now? I’ve been taking good care of them and keeping them together.”
The moment I heard those words, my chest tightened again. I shook my head in disgust. I wasn’t curious at all about what was written there. It would be filled with complaints or curses, so there was no reason to see it.
“I told them to take good care of it anyway, so tell me later if you change your mind. Recover your health first.”
He said something more before leaving the room, telling me to rest. Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t said thank you. Actually, I had several opportunities to say it, but the words wouldn’t come out.
“…….”
I put Kyle out of my mind for now and closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
Everyone had received compensation and left safely, so that was enough. Now, no matter what I did, there was no one who would be affected by it.
“…….”
Everyone dies eventually, without exception. It’s the law of nature that you’re born, live, and die. Since you’re going to die anyway, there’s no point in struggling and suffering because you don’t want to die, or having regrets.
Therefore, you have to think about how you’re going to die, not when you’re going to die.
The face of the knight who felt joy as he murdered innocent people flashed through my mind. I thought of the courtesan who laughed at the people dying from poison next to the Emperor. I thought of the gatekeeper who kicked the person crawling with a sword stuck in their back.
I thought of the gods living with humans in the human world.
“…….”
The emotions that I had been suppressing and suppressing somehow swirled from the depths. They shook my whole body like thunder, crashed like waves, and consumed me. The murderous intent that I had swallowed for too long was seething.
The blood and screams that were rampant, the groans of those begging and suffering, the sight of people scratching the floor until their fingernails fell out as they endured the pain, the crimson puddles that pooled at their feet and the shouting voices, the acrid smoke that covered the sky and the smell of burning flesh, the sound of a person split in half staggering and falling to the ground…….
Scenes that were impossible to know whether they were from the past, present, or future were mixed together haphazardly, blurring my vision. I hadn’t intentionally brought them to mind, but now I decided not to do that anymore.
‘If the Servants hadn’t stopped him then, His Highness would already be…….’
From now on, the rest of my life will be spent slaughtering things that are not human.