46 – TDG 46

Even ​without ​him ​saying ​it, I was ​already ​in ​a ​position ​where I couldn’t budge. ​Han ​Ji-hyuk trapped me ​within his arms ​and ​growled. ​Despite ​that, ​I ​could glimpse a ​strangely ​anxious ​air about him.

“Tell ​me what you were ​doing with ​that woman ​here.”

It took ​a moment ​for ​me ​to realize who ​‘that woman’ ​was.

“Ah-yoon-ssi…? Are you talking ​about Ah-yoon-ssi?”

The moment I ​uttered Jung Ah-yoon’s name, ​Ji-hyuk’s eyebrows ​shot ​up fiercely, and sparks flew in ​his eyes. I was ​bewildered. ​This ​situation ​made ​no sense. Why ​was Han ​Ji-hyuk ​burning with this ​much ​hostility toward her, the female ​lead?

“What do ​you ​mean, ‘doing’? We ​didn’t ​do ​anything. ​We ​were just ​in ​the office ​together….”

Boom! I gasped, cutting my sentence short ​at the thunderous ​sound that struck ​above my head. His ​fist had ​slammed into the ​wall, ​and the special ​reinforced concrete caved ​in like ​a ​sponge. Seeing ​his ​fist embedded ​in ​the wall ​made ​the ​hair on the ​back ​of my ​neck ​stand ​up.

“Stop ​talking nonsense! Hyung, you like her!”

Ji-hyuk’s shout echoed loudly through the office. I froze mid-sentence and shut my mouth. I didn’t know what I had just heard. To say I was half-dazed would be an understatement.

“Wha… what are you talking about…? Ji-hyuk-ah, [unauthorized copy]it’s a misunderstanding! It’s not [visit our site]like [unauthorized copy]that! Ah-yoon-ssi and I….”

A harsh snort flew back at me.

“Misunderstanding? You do nothing but talk about her all day. Yesterday, you even brought her here to work, sat and chatted with her, and personally brought her shoes to put them on for her… and you’re telling me there’s nothing between you?”

My jaw dropped. I never dreamed that Ji-hyuk would perceive my clumsy attempts to set the two of them up in that way.

“Really! It’s not because I like her. I just wanted you and her to work out….”

Even as I said it, it felt ridiculous to expect him to believe such an absurd story. I didn’t know how things had ended up like this.

Ji-hyuk’s eyebrow arched crookedly.

“I don’t understand. Why should I work things out with her when I have Hyung?”

“I’ll only be by your side until the time comes….”

“The time…?”

His voice, which was already low, dropped even further. Realizing too late what I had said, I hurriedly covered my mouth, but it was already too late. Words once spoken cannot be taken back. I was so panicked that no words to make amends came to mind.

Seeing me rolling my eyes in panic, a grinding sound emanated from Ji-hyuk’s jaw.

“What do you mean by ‘the time,’ Hyung?”

“…T-that is.”

When I couldn’t say anything, Ji-hyuk’s gaze sank gloomily in an instant.

“Was everything you did for me just part of a job?”

“…What?”

“That’s why you desperately avoided the dedicated assignment. So that whenever that damn ‘time’ comes, you can just throw me away and leave.”

I felt my blood run cold. ‘That’s absolutely not it!’ I hastily grabbed Ji-hyuk’s arm, but he roughly brushed me off. Before I knew it, Ji-hyuk had turned his back to me, ignoring me. I couldn’t let him leave like this. In my desperation, I strained my voice.

“Ji-hyuk-ah…!”

His stepping foot seemed to pause for a moment. However, Han Ji-hyuk immediately moved his feet and left the office.

“……..”

A low groan escaped me as the sound of his rapidly receding footsteps faded. I wanted to chase after him immediately, but my legs gave out and wouldn’t obey. Not just my legs, but my entire body [unauthorized copy]was trembling. Though unintentional, I [unauthorized copy]had essentially stood my ground against [visit our site]the pressure of an S-rank Esper, and my body simply couldn’t withstand it. I was lucky I hadn’t fainted.

I bit my lip and swallowed my stinging, ragged breaths.

Who did I think I was, presumptuously trying to manipulate the story by playing matchmaker? To say I would create happiness for Han Ji-hyuk was, in truth, such an arrogant thing. My words were fancy, but I failed to consider Ji-hyuk’s actual feelings. I was paying the price for acting selfishly.

I felt dizzy. My vision spun, and a ringing sound bombarded my ears. My chest felt tight, making it hard to breathe. Finding it difficult to support myself with my arms, I leaned over, and the cold sweat pooled on my forehead dripped onto the floor.

“What on earth happened here? It’s like a typhoon passed through…”

Senior Soo-jeong and Senior Jae-young, who seemed to have just returned from the field, rushed into the office in surprise. They found me slumped over, sobbing, and hurried toward me.

“Joo-won! Are you okay?”

“…You… have… returned.”

I should have greeted them properly, but my throat was so choked up that my words came out in fragments. Senior Soo-jeong’s voice rose.

“Hey, are you crying? Why are you crying?”

“Who made our kid cry?!”

…Crying?

Me?

Then the droplets that fell on the floor earlier were….

Only after hearing the seniors’ words did I raise my hand to wipe my cheek. I saw my palm instantly become damp.

“Uh….”

As I blinked blankly, my vision wavered like a wave and began to blur from the edges. Tears streamed down from my wide-open eyes like a faucet.

“Joo-won-ah….”

Without knowing the reason, Senior Soo-jeong hugged me tightly, feeling sorry for me. At the gentle touch patting my back, self-reproach and sorrow surged up. Unable to hold it back any longer, I ended up clinging to her neck and burying my face.

“Ugh… hic, waaaaah…!”

I ruined everything.

Along with the bursting sobs, my heart crumbled.

Only after I had made a mess of Senior Soo-jeong’s blouse did my tears finally stop.

Meanwhile, Senior Jae-young chased away the people who had gathered upon hearing my crying, asking if they had come to see a show. He also brought me a towel dampened with water to wipe my face.

“Joo-won-ah. Just leave early today. Go home and rest, okay?”

“Hey. I’ll apply for a day off on your behalf, so just take tomorrow off too.”

My body, drained of all moisture, swayed like a kite with a broken string. I didn’t even have the energy to decline, so I just bowed my head and staggered out of the office. I was grateful for the consideration of the two seniors who asked nothing.

Walking with my head low, I stopped by the restroom. In the mirror, a fool with swollen eyes and a face as red and blotchy as autumn leaves stared back.

‘I look hideous…. What gave me the right to cry.’

Sniffling, I wiped my face with the towel Senior Jae-young had given me, but my emotions surged again. I felt like if I went outside looking like this, I’d be bragging to the whole world that I had cried. Leaning my arms on the sink, I tried my best to steady my surging emotions.

Behind my tightly closed eyes, Ji-hyuk’s hurt gaze flickered. The fact that he only showed me his back probably meant he didn’t even want to look at me. It felt as if something sharp had gouged out my chest.

To think I said I’d leave when the time comes. It didn’t matter to me because I had a list of reasons for it in my head, but hearing those words without any context would inevitably lead to shock and a sense of betrayal. I would have been furious too. That kid is only twenty. He’s someone whose emotional instability was maximized by the shock of awakening, and I knew full well he had a high dependency… I had essentially poked the wound with my own hand.

How should I soothe his anger? Apologizing is easy, but I don’t yet know how to make him understand.

I splashed cold water [stolen content]on my eyes repeatedly until Read on Read BL NovelsRead on Read BL Novelsthe swelling subsided slightly, then left the restroom.

The Esper Team 1 office, where Ji-hyuk was, was on the floor above the Guide Team. With heavy breaths, I dragged my feet up the stairs.

“Ji-hyuk-ssi? He’s not here….”

Lee Seo-ah, who was guarding the office alone, put down her phone and peeked out as if wondering what was going on.

“…He hasn’t come in?”

“No. He hasn’t. But did you cry? Why are your eyes so red?”

I let out an awkward laugh and stepped back.

“…I see. Keep up the good work.”

As expected, he wasn’t in the office. Then where could he be? I looked around several places, including the lounge and the outdoor garden, but I couldn’t find any trace of Ji-hyuk.

Standing in the empty outdoor garden, facing the blowing wind, I stared intensely at my phone. My finger trembled, unable to press the call button.

“Sigh….”

This is driving me crazy. I can’t make the call.

I’m afraid I’ll hurt Ji-hyuk even more. I felt disgusted with myself, thinking that searching for him like this was ultimately just to make myself feel better. I just wanted to disappear anywhere. Putting the phone in my pocket, I went down to the parking lot. I hadn’t decided where to go, but I didn’t want to go home.

On the road that stretched out like a series of dots, I just pressed the accelerator. Passing through the tollgate, I turned the steering wheel wherever my hand led, ignoring the road signs. By the time a shimmering horizon appeared in the distance, I had arrived at the sea.

The beach, now past its peak season, was somewhat deserted. Passing by the hotels and commercial buildings that had sprung up like mushrooms, I parked my car in the coastal lot and stepped out; the salty scent characteristic of the seaside rushed to the tip of my nose.

The wide-open sea greeted me beneath layers of billowing cumulus clouds. As I walked along the white sandy beach, my feet sinking in, I felt my turbulent mind slowly calming down.

There was a neatly arranged bench under the shade of a wisteria tree. While I sat there for a while shaking the sand out of my shoes, many people passed by. People walking their dogs, children walking while immersed in chatter, and couples sharing ice cream with affectionate smiles—I watched them blankly. Unlike me, they all seemed present and happy.

“Ugh!”

A little kid running from afar tripped in front of me and tumbled over. It was such a cartoonish scene that the gloomy mood lingering around me retreated.

“Are you okay?”

As I ran over to help him up, I saw the kid had scraped his knee. Seeing the bleeding knee, the child’s cheeks twitched, and he looked like he was about to cry. Since he seemed on the verge of bursting into tears, I brushed off the dirt and gently coaxed him.

“Boys don’t cry over things like this.”

“But it hurts… hic.”

“Hmm… then how about you hold it in, and Hyung will buy you an ice cream?”

Upon hearing my proposal, the kid’s eyes sparkled as if he had never been about to cry. This little guy knows how to negotiate. He’s got potential.

“Thank you, Hyung! Bye-bye~!”

With an ice cream cone in his mouth, the excited child waved his hand high and left.

With his thick hair and soft touch, he was just like Han Ji-hyuk. Even if he’s not as much as our Ji-hyuk, that kid will probably make quite a few girls cry when he grows up.

I wonder what Han Ji-hyuk was like as a child….