Chapter 38 – The Price of Misjudgment
4. Rift
After work, I stepped into a bustling restaurant. It was the day Yoon Ki-hyun had made plans to eat with his friends.
To my surprise, the guys had already grabbed a table and were waiting for him.
“Why have you lost so much weight all of a sudden?”
A friend who worked as a fitness trainer pointed out his weight without any preamble.
“I’ve actually gained a bit lately.”
Yoon Ki-hyun replied nonchalantly as he took an empty seat. After exchanging greetings and sharing the dishes they had ordered, he gave them an update on his life.
“Oh, right. I quit the Center and I’m working as a personal Guide now. Things are much more relaxed than before.”
“What about the money?”
“I’m getting paid way more than at the Center.”
“Oh, that’s great.”
The friends’ reactions were generally simple. Everything they knew about Guides was what they had heard second-hand from Yoon Ki-hyun, so they didn’t know much about the Awakener Center.
A workplace that gave you a shit-ton of work and paid accordingly, but where work-life balance went straight to hell.
Since that was the general image they had of Yoon Ki-hyun’s job, moving to a place where he earned more money was a cause for celebration.
Once they had stuffed their stomachs, the friends were in the mood for drinks.
“Ki-hyun, what do you want to drink?”
“I’m receiving treatment at a hospital, so I’ll pass on the alcohol.”
“What hospital? Are you sick somewhere?”
The friends’ gazes converged. They had already mentioned that he looked much Read on [visit our site]Read BL Novelsmore frail than the last time they saw him.
From that point on, they barely touched their food. As he answered the barrage of questions one by one, the expressions on his friends’ faces all turned grim.
“Why is the medication so expensive?”
“Isn’t it covered by insurance?”
“Doesn’t the Center have any welfare benefits?”
“What’s the personality of the person paying your salary? If it’s a private employment arrangement, it’s just the two of you working together. If your personalities don’t clash, it’ll be fucking miserable. Is it worth enduring for the money?”
Somehow, the topic shifted to Jeong Si-jun. Yoon Ki-hyun chewed on a few pieces of meat on his small plate, choosing his words carefully.
Jeong Si-jun. A single day wouldn’t be enough to talk about that guy.
“…I used to think I didn’t want to work with him, but somehow I ended up working under good conditions.”
He didn’t mention that he had met Jeong Si-jun in front of a gate or that they had slept together under the influence of alcohol. Although these friends knew his sexual orientation, he didn’t want to open up too much about overly private matters.
“Did he make the offer first?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe that’s why. Every time I see him, I feel kind of unsettled.”
“How old is the Esper who hired you?”
“Twenty-five.”
The friends paused for a moment at the unexpectedly young age. While they didn’t know Yoon Ki-hyun’s exact annual salary, they knew it was a considerable amount for an individual to bear.
“No wonder you’re unsettled. He’s younger than you, but he’s paying you that salary, so your pride must be hurt, and you’re probably hitting a wall of reality wondering why you have to live like this.”
It was hard to argue. Because that was exactly how it was. More than anything, the problem was that Jeong Si-jun couldn’t hide the fact that he liked him.
“Recently, some people have even contacted me asking to be his personal Guide, so my head is a total mess.”
Jeong Si-jun alone was enough to make his head spin, but with Seo Yi-kyung sending messages just as he was about to forget, he was twice as distressed.
“Wow, you’ve got the skills, so people won’t leave you alone. Should style="font-size:0;color:transparent;display:inline;">visit our sitewe call this a blessing or a tiring life?”
The dinner party gradually reached its peak. While they exchanged talk of work, hobbies, and useless chatter, one friend, who had been quietly observing Yoon Ki-hyun as he occasionally joined the conversation, spoke up.
“How about you lately?”
Yoon Ki-hyun, who had been about to pick up some meat, asked back, recalling the topic they had been discussing.
“Dating?”
“Yeah.”
“Where would I find the time? I don’t have the leeway, and my body is like this, so it’s a bit… you know.”
“No one you’re interested in?”
Rather than “interested,” there was a guy on his mind. The problem was that this guy, despite being built like a door, would get red-eared if he looked at him for just a bit too long, and was a three-years-younger employer who whined whenever he couldn’t buy him this or that.
As Yoon Ki-hyun’s answer lagged, all eyes gathered on him.
“…There is someone.”
“But why is your reaction like that?”
“Seeing how hesitant you are, could it be that employer guy?”
At the question that hit the nail on the head, Yoon Ki-hyun blinked rapidly and managed his expression.
“…No matter how much I think about it, I think he likes me.”
It sounded like an overestimation of himself, but if he watched Jeong Si-jun’s behavior quietly, it was impossible not to notice.
“So what do you want to do? Do you want to date him, or do you just want to ignore it?”
“I’m not sure about that.”
Yoon Ki-hyun answered with a sigh.
He didn’t hate that awkward and slightly ticklish atmosphere enough to be repulsed by it. The guy was also the one who had reached out with an offer when he was going through a difficult time, and watching his antics was certainly entertaining.
However, if asked if he wanted to date [stolen stolen content[stolen content]content]him, an immediate “yes” didn’t come. That was why he had been distressed all along.
He knew Jeong Si-jun’s feelings, and while he had no intention of accepting them, he felt like he was just playing along. He couldn’t shake the thought that he was giving the man a glimmer of hope while leaving the door open.
“Ki-hyun.”
“What.”
“Be careful.”
“About what?”
“In my opinion, this is the time you need to be most careful. When you’re sick and life is hard, dating usually leads your life in a strange direction. I’m fucking worried about you, man. Seriously.”
Sincerity leaked through the long sigh. It was advice bordering on meddling, but there weren’t many people who interfered in Yoon Ki-hyun’s life like that. Then again, his human relationships were incredibly shallow to begin with.
“Forget it. I’m too busy curing my illness to date…”
“You know you should do that in your head, but since you can’t, that’s why you’re unsettled and conflicted, isn’t it?”
Every single word hit the mark. It felt good to have his stifling inner thoughts cleared out, but it Read on Read BL Novelswas cleared out so much that his chest felt hollow.
“From where I stand, your problem is that you think too much and you’re way too weak for affection.”
Yoon Ki-hyun’s friend said that and poured a drink. In other words, a deficiency of affection was the problem. Because he lacked that damn affection.
“Hey, but he must be handsome, right? If Yoon Ki-hyun is worrying about it.”
“Ah, why bring up faces all of a sudden?”
“You’re fucking picky about looks.”
Was I the type to be picky about looks? Yoon Ki-hyun pondered as he picked up a side dish in front of him.
“I just don’t meet people if their face isn’t great. You guys are all the same.”
“Exactly, it’s just that your standard for ‘not great’ is fucking high.”
“But is he really handsome?”
Yoon Ki-hyun blinked at his friend’s question.
“Objectively, I don’t think he’s on the ugly side… Anyway, he’s strange to watch. I wonder if there’s actually someone like that, and he’s funny.”
As he shared his impressions of Jeong Si-jun, his friends’ faces twitched.
“Give me a break.”
“The whole three-piece set just came out.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
The friends exchanged glances and chuckled. Not knowing what they were talking about, Yoon Ki-hyun quirked an eyebrow as if asking for an explanation.
“When you say things like that, it means you’re one hundred percent head-over-heels, you bastard.”
“What?”
“It means you’re already finished.”
The friend who loved to chatter shook his head. The pitying look in his eyes was starting to irritate him.
“I’m head-over-heels for him? Stop bullshitting. Just stop.”
Yoon Ki-hyun countered, scrunching his face as much as possible.
He admitted he had some feelings. But he couldn’t agree with the word “head-over-heels.”
He just cared for him a little, and felt a human liking for the way he knew how to reflect and repent for past events.
‘What? Me, head-over-heels? That’s nonsense.’
It was ambiguous to say he definitely saw Jeong Si-jun as a romantic partner. They had had sex twice, but neither instance had occurred during any emotional exchange.
The first time happened while working, and the second was a happening that occurred while drunk.
“Do you really have no feelings for him?”
“It’s not that I want to date him or anything, you brat. I’m just a bit concerned about him.”
Yoon Ki-hyun shook his head as if disgusted. For someone who was openly repulsed, the words he had leaked bit by bit were unusual. One of Yoon Ki-hyun’s Novels">Read [Read on Read BL Novels]on Read BL Novelsfriends, whose lips were twitching, summarized by tapping his chopsticks against the bowl.
“So, what you’re saying is that when you see him, your feelings get complicated.”
“Yeah.”
“And when you watch him, you wonder how such a guy exists, and he’s strange and funny.”
“Yeah.”
“And by your standards, his face isn’t objectively ugly. And he has a lot of money.”
“…Yeah.”
“He likes you. But it’s not that you have absolutely zero feelings for him, not even a speck.”
“…”
Yoon Ki-hyun’s response speed slowed, and eventually, there was no answer to the last statement. Seeing him press his lips together with a distressed expression, Yoon Ki-hyun’s friends struggled to hold back their laughter.
It was simply funny as a friend to see a guy who could have been famous for something else if he’d [Read [visit our site]on Read BL Novels]put his mind to it sitting there like that.
“Ki-hyun.”
“…What.”
“Nothing. Just hang in there. What are you going to do with such a complicated head. Hang in there, you bastard.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”
Yoon Ki-hyun merely nodded while drinking the water his friend had poured. The dinner gathering continued for quite a while after that.
On an evening where he newly realized the preciousness of his friends, Yoon Ki-hyun occasionally thought of Jeong Si-jun’s face, who wasn’t even there.
‘You already exchanged numbers with Seo Yi-kyung? Give me a break. Don’t contact that guy. I told you that guy is fucking suspicious.’
‘Even if you are my employer, you have no right to interfere with who I contact personally. And I clearly told you I have no intention of becoming Seo Yi-kyung’s personal Guide.’
‘Still, I’m anxious, so what do you want me to do?’
‘They say being anxious over nothing is a disease. stolen contentEND: stolen content -->How about going to a hospital and getting some counseling?’
‘Agh! Forget it! I can’t even say a word, I can’t!’
Dating a guy who grumbles like a child… what a joke.
Walking through the alley while organizing his complicated thoughts on the way home, he felt a vibration signaling a message had arrived.
[Team Leader Seo Yi-kyung]
A new cafe opened near the Center. They have more types of tea than other cafes, so you should visit too, Ki-hyun.
(Map Link)
Perhaps remembering that he was drinking tea to follow the doctor’s advice to avoid caffeine, Seo Yi-kyung occasionally recommended delicious cafes.
Whenever he remembered, he visited them just to see, and he was surprised to find that he liked all of them.
[I’ll go if I have time. Thank you.]
[Team Leader Seo Yi-kyung]
It’s no big deal. I bought hibiscus to drink during my duty today, but I think this one doesn’t taste very good. Just a heads-up.
It would be a lie to say that Seo Yi-kyung’s trivial messages weren’t burdensome. However, they didn’t feel blindly sinister like they used to.
‘Anyway, dating…’
There was still no room in his life for the draining act of dating.
But if he were to date, he felt that a relaxed older person would be better than a child-like type like Jeong Si-jun.
‘Since I almost spent my whole life just cleaning up after someone, I’m not really into younger guys.’
Yoon Ki-hyun lay his exhausted body on the bed and drifted off to sleep.
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