LMI 92

“…What?”

Ashley doubted his ears for a moment. In a short period of time, the events of the day unfolded in his head like a panorama.

Getting angry at Koi’s cheerleading uniform, Koi giving him two dollars, the game they barely won by a hair’s breadth, kissing and confessing in front of everyone, and finally Koi acknowledging his feelings and starting to date.

Even if he deleted the hour-long, fierce masturbation at the end, there were so many things that happened, and he was saying to pretend it never happened?

They had just had dinner together and held hands all the way here?

Ashley, who had been holding the steering wheel with one hand and Koi’s hand with the other while driving, was suddenly dumbfounded.

What did I just hear?

“…Are you saying we should break up? Before we even started?”

“N-no, that’s not what I mean!”

Koi shook his head frantically in denial.

“We are dating. That’s right, but keep it a secret… let’s…”

“Why?”

Ashley asked, snatching the end of Koi’s fading words.

Ashley’s reaction was so natural that Koi understood him. If Ashley had made this suggestion to him in his place, he would have been depressed.

But there was no choice. If Father found out that they were dating, he didn’t even want to imagine what would happen next.

If he told the truth, Ashley would definitely be upset.

How miserable would he feel if he was rejected by the family of the person he was dating?Of course, Ashley would be angry rather than feel miserable. Koi was afraid that Ashley might break up with him because of it, and he didn’t want to upset Ashley either. More than anything, he was afraid Ashley might get hurt.

Ashley was such a wonderful and perfect kid, and Koi couldn’t bear the thought of Father saying bad things about him for dating Koi.

*I don’t want Ash to be treated like that.*

Koi thought, then spoke again.

“It’s just… I think it’d be better if we did that.”

“Why?”

“Well…”

The conversation just kept repeating itself without progressing. Eventually, Ashley tried to escape the loop first.

“How are you going to keep it a secret? I kissed you and confessed in front of all those kids?”

“Th-that’s…”

Koi hurriedly cut him off.

“No one will think it’s real.”

Ashley frowned and asked again.

“Why not?”

“That’s, because…”

Koi hesitated, then finally answered.

“It’s me, isn’t it?”

The crease in Ashley’s brow deepened. Koi quickly continued.

“I’m not being self-deprecating, but think about it realistically. No one would believe you like me. You wouldn’t have in the past, either.”

Of course, he would have in the past, but not now. More than anything, Ashley was the one who was getting impatient, not Koi.

And Ashley wasn’t ashamed at all that he liked Koi.

On the contrary, he wanted to write that he was Koi’s boyfriend on a billboard and put it up all over the freeways. That’s why he couldn’t figure out why Koi was acting like this. He thought they finally understood each other, but was he wrong?

“It doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is how you feel.”

The fact that Koi liked Ashley hadn’t changed. So why was he doing this?

*Could it be…?* Ashley narrowed his eyes.

“Be honest, Koi. Are you ashamed to have me as your boyfriend?”

Koi was so surprised by the unexpected question that he jumped and denied it.

“What? Of course not!”

“Then why?”

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of you being my boyfriend… it’s just…”

Koi struggled to find the right words, then barely managed to speak.

“I’m just… I’m not ready. Can you give me a little time?”

Ashley still frowned as he asked, “Ready for what?”

“Well…”

Koi just lowered his head and mumbled, unable to speak clearly. *He’s hiding something.* Ashley realized. Today had been perfect.

Until just now. There must be a good reason for ruining the end like this.

*If it’s not a good enough reason, I’m really going to do it.*

He wouldn’t let it slide this time. He had been so considerate until now. And this is what he gets in return? What? Hide their relationship?

“Tell me, what’s the reason? If you lie or try to gloss over it, I won’t stand for it.”

Ashley gave his final warning and then fell silent.

Koi felt like he was in an impossible situation. He was afraid of the reaction he would get if he told the truth. But if he glossed over it or lied, Ashley would still get angry. In the end, he lowered his head and confessed in a small voice.

“Father…”

“What?”

Koi didn’t raise his head as he tearfully confessed.

“Father told me not to see you.”

Ashley didn’t react immediately this time.

Ashley had had several girlfriends, but this was the first time a guardian had disapproved of him and told him to break up with him.

“…What?”

When Ashley asked again after a pause, Koi started to sob.

“Father said… what if I Manifest because of your Pheromones… He said I absolutely can’t see you. If I get caught, I’ll be punished, badly.”

Finally, Koi wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and continued.

“I’m sorry, Ash. I like you too… I really, really like you, but my dad is… really scary. I don’t know what he’ll do when he’s angry. If, if our relationship gets out and reaches his ears…”

Only then did Ashley understand what Koi was saying.

*No way, it can’t be, it absolutely shouldn’t be,* he thought as he struggled to speak.

“…Koi… does that man… hit you?”

Koi gasped in surprise. Ashley grabbed his shoulders without hesitation.

“Koi, look at me. Is it true? Is that why? Are you afraid of getting hit by that man?”

Koi hesitated, then carefully raised his head. Ashley froze when he saw his expression.

Until now, Ashley had despised his own Father and thought of him as trash. But even that man had never hit Ashley.

Of course, he would have had no reason to resort to violence. He knew and had used countless ways to destroy someone more cruelly.

But that’s why Ashley couldn’t believe that someone was being beaten.

Of course, he knew that there were parents like that. But facing it in reality was a different story. Especially since it was Koi’s Father.

“I’m okay.”

Koi said in a trembling voice.

“Father is only dangerous when he’s drunk. And he hasn’t hit me in a while… I’m worried about you.”

Tears welled up in Koi’s eyes again.

“I’m afraid that if Father finds out he hates you, you’ll start to hate me too.”

*That’s why I couldn’t tell you.*

Ashley seemed to know the words Koi had swallowed. Only then did he regret pushing and pressing him so hard.

Why hadn’t he just let it go when Koi didn’t want to answer? Not asking was also a form of consideration.

He had been going around proclaiming him as his boyfriend, and he hadn’t even done that basic thing.

Ashley felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. At the same time, guilt and pity for Koi rose up, and his hand, which had been gripping his shoulder, lost its strength.

“There’s no way I could ever hate you.”

When he spoke in a much gentler tone, Koi lowered his head again. Tears fell straight down.

“You’re all I have, what am I going to do if you don’t like me anymore?”

Sobs echoed in the car. Ashley just stared at him for a while. He had to do something.

He felt dizzy with anger at Koi’s Father and with pity and affection for Koi.

“…Okay, then.”

Ashley finally spoke after a long silence.

“Let’s pretend I got dumped by you.”

“What?”

Koi was so surprised by the unexpected words that he snapped his head up. Ashley wiped the tears from his face and smiled bitterly.

“I confessed to you, I can’t take that back. No one will believe it if I say we’re not dating. So this is the best way. Let’s just say I’m the only one who likes you.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Koi shook his head frantically. Who in the world would believe that? That Corner Niles dumped Ashley Miller? He’d sooner believe that Corner Niles kicked a lion in the butt.

“But, Koi. There’s a condition.”

Ashley spoke with a serious expression to Koi, who was still shaking his head.