5 – He Got Divorced

Episode 5: He Got Divorced

As if he had no intention of explaining, Xie Qingcheng instead asked a short question in return.

“Didn’t you hear it from Xie Xue?”

“No.”

“I suppose she thought of it as my private life.”

He Yu paused for a moment before asking.

“Did you and Li Ruoqiu not get along?”

Li Ruoqiu was Xie Qingcheng’s ex-wife.

The woman who had tied the knot with Xie Qingcheng had left a very deep impression on He Yu. He had wondered if she was out of her mind to dig her own grave by marrying such a bloodless, tearless, patriarchal old fogey.

The image He Yu had of Xie Qingcheng was close to being ‘devoid of desire and want.’ A man who belonged sitting at a desk wearing a pristine white gown without a single wrinkle. A man who stood before bookshelves packed with volumes, emanating a chilling scent of alcohol.

It was hard to believe that Xie Qingcheng could love someone, and even harder to believe that someone could love Xie Qingcheng.

And yet, Xie Qingcheng had married.

He Yu remembered going to give the wedding gift on the day of the ceremony, without even changing out of his school uniform as his mother had demanded. A driver had dropped He Yu off at the hotel. Wearing white sneakers, a bag slung over one shoulder, and hands shoved into his uniform pants pockets, he entered the hotel.

Xie Qingcheng was there, greeting the guests.

Having received makeup at a wedding shop, he stood among the crowd with a rigid and elegant posture. His eyes were exceptionally black, as if the Milky Way were about to spill into them. Meanwhile, the MC spoke to him. The surrounding noise was an issue, but Xie Qingcheng was much taller than the MC. Because he couldn’t hear properly, he tilted his head so the MC could speak directly into his ear. That profile was startlingly transparent. Like a thin piece of porcelain placed under a spotlight, he looked as if he would shatter with the slightest touch. His lip color was pale, as if blood had frozen beneath a layer of ice.

His skin was like a world made of glass, and his lips were like red plum blossoms touched by frost.

Even if He Yu had no interest in men, he was a very aesthetic person.

So, in that moment, he had a thought. He admitted that a woman like Li Ruoqiu was beautiful, but honestly, he imagined their proposal scene would have gone something like this—.

Wearing his white gown with his usual ballpoint pen and fountain pen tucked into his chest pocket, Xie Qingcheng would have stood haughtily like a flower blooming on a cliff, hands in his pockets, and told someone’s daughter in his obnoxious tone:

‘I shall marry you. Get on your knees and be grateful.’

Of course, He Yu was quite skilled at acting, so he didn’t let his inner thoughts slip out.

Instead, he approached with his bag on his shoulder and a smiling face, standing before the handsome groom and beautiful bride, and said:

—Teacher Xie, sister-in-law.

—And this is…

As Li Ruoqiu trailed off, Xie Qingcheng introduced him to his bride.

—An acquaintance’s son.

It was the contract with the He family that Xie Qingcheng would not reveal to the outside world that He Yu was his patient.

At those words, Li Ruoqiu offered a compliment.

—He’s so pretty. How can a child be this handsome?

He Yu exercised gentlemanly manners and bowed politely. He placed a smile in his pitch-black eyes.

—You flatter me. You, sister-in-law, are truly like a single flower.

As he said this, he pulled a thick wedding gift envelope from his bag and spoke in a soft, gentle tone.

—I wish you a long and happy life together with Teacher Xie.

Long and happy life, my foot.

Even then, he had thought that no one could endure a man like Xie Qingcheng. Of course, he hadn’t known that the marriage would end so quickly. Does he perhaps have the power of prophecy?

Suppressing a feeling of smugness, He Yu asked calmly.

“Why did you break up?”

There was no answer.

“I remember the sister-in-law liked you a lot. Even when she came to our house after the wedding, she didn’t spare a glance for anyone else and only looked at you.”

Only then did Xie Qingcheng speak.

“He Yu, this is my privacy.”

He Yu quirked an eyebrow.

As he scanned the noble figure of Xie Qingcheng, a thought suddenly occurred to him. This man, whom he was reuniting with after living abroad for several years, seemed to have changed quite a bit.

However, he wasn’t curious about Xie Qingcheng’s changes. He ended with a beaming smile and said:

“Then that’s fine. Good luck with your blind date.”

Xie Qingcheng gave him a cold glance and turned away without even saying thank you.

Soon, the dormitory door closed behind his back.

Perhaps because He Yu had brought up his ex-wife, Xie Qingcheng recalled his horribly ruined marriage with Li Ruoqiu as he walked back.

He understood why Xie Xue had hidden this from He Yu.

It was because the reason he got divorced was quite embarrassing. —It was true that Li Ruoqiu had loved him. However, it was also true that her love had completely cooled since then.

She had cheated.

Xie Qingcheng found this fact hard to accept. He might not have known what love was, but he knew what family responsibility was. In this regard, his ideology was very conservative.

But she was different.

She believed that the most important thing in marriage was love, not responsibility. Thus, the two inevitably met their ruin. After falling in love with a married man, she wept even after her affair was discovered, accusing him by saying that only work was in his sight, and that her marriage to him was no different from one part of his cold work schedule.

In truth, it was a valid point. Xie Qingcheng also knew well how devoid of emotion he was.

Honestly, he had never felt love in his relationship with her. She had chased Xie Qingcheng for several years, and later, thinking that someone of this caliber wasn’t bad, he dated her for a while and then married her.

After marrying, he perfectly fulfilled the tasks a husband should do and the duties he was expected to perform.

However, this was not the marriage she wanted.

Xie Qingcheng had a sense of responsibility, but he wasn’t romantic, and his personality was cold. Even in bed, he didn’t indulge in sexual desire and maintained a calm rationality. He was simply indifferent, like someone completing a checklist of starting a family and fulfilling duties.

Over time, her heart gradually cooled.

Later, when her affair was discovered, she said:

—Xie Qingcheng, you have no heart. Do you still not understand that what I wanted wasn’t marriage, but love?

What on earth is this thing called love?

Xie Qingcheng felt as if his head would split. Unable to suppress his anger, he almost slammed the table, but he fought hard to push the rage down. He looked at Li Ruoqiu in silence, and finally, in a voice as still as stagnant water, he spoke bluntly.

—That man likes you? How sincere do you think a man with a wife and daughter could be toward you?

At that question, she snapped her head up. In her eyes, something burned that Xie Qingcheng could not understand at all.

—…It doesn’t matter if he has a wife or a child. At least he embraced me passionately. To the point where I could hear his heart beating fast. You’re different, Xie Qingcheng. You kept yourself clean and distant from women. You entrusted all the money you earned to me. But your heartbeat toward me was like the EKG of a dead person. For years after we married, it was just a straight line.

—Life is only a few decades long. He was bound by an unhappy marriage, and so was I. I’ve realized it now. I don’t need justification, money, or honor. Even if others point fingers and call me a slut or a discarded shoe, I want to be with him.

Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes. The cigarette in his hand burned down until it almost touched his fingertips.

—Li Ruoqiu, are you crazy? There is no such thing as love in this world. Love is merely a kind of reaction caused by dopamine in the human body. Your hormones are disturbing your mind. But in this world, things like responsibility and family exist. You seem to have chosen that man in a moment of madness, but do you really think that man wants to divorce and live with you?

Silence.

Soon, the flame flickering in Li Ruoqiu’s eyes burned even hotter. She eventually spoke stubbornly with tears in her eyes.

—Still, I don’t want to regret it.

—Xie Qingcheng, love does exist in this world. No matter how irresponsible or contrary to human ethics it is, no matter how dirty or vulgar, regardless of hormones or dopamine, it actually exists.

—I’m sorry, but I can’t live with you anymore. I’ve finally realized what love is. Even if it’s the wrong path, I love him.

Even though several years had passed since the divorce, Xie Qingcheng found this conversation utterly absurd whenever he recalled it.

Willingly accepting loss while knowing it is wrong, stubbornly falling even while knowing the step leads to an abyss. To think that burning through infamy, criticism, morality, life, and limits is called love. If so, isn’t that a disease rather than love?

He could not empathize.

No matter how strong his personality was, as a patriarchal and conservative man, he was deeply shaken by the fact that his wife had committed adultery and run away with a married man.

Immediately after the divorce, he went to work as usual, writing papers and guiding students without showing a single sign of distress. However, people around him noticed that he was rapidly wasting away. Not only were his cheeks slightly sunken, but his voice cracked when he spoke.

The dean, worried uselessly that the school might trend on real-time search results if this man died of overwork, paid him attentive care.

—Professor Xie, if you’re feeling unwell, take a leave and go home to rest. Don’t force yourself.

In response, Xie Qingcheng abruptly sent a bulk of compressed files containing the latest lecture PPTs. The content was thorough, and the curriculum was systematic and concise. Even when the dean himself was in his prime and his mind was sharpest, it would have been difficult to create such a curriculum in such a short time.

—You’re suggesting I go home?

Xie Qingcheng interlaced his slender fingers and leaned back against the office chair. He was a man as thin as a sheet of paper and as lean as cigarette smoke, but his gaze when looking at people was clear, cold, and sharp.

—It is true that I wish to rest, but do you believe there is anyone other than me qualified to finish the first part of this lecture to this extent?

Naturally, there was no one who could do that.

Seeing his torch-like eyes, the dean thought that the school would not be trending on real-time search results anytime soon. —That was not the gaze of a man about to die.

However, no one knew that in order to work properly and to suppress his shattered emotions inside, Xie Qingcheng would sit in his room after returning home from work, coughing incessantly while smoking. He seemed determined to not only sear his lungs black but to turn his entire house into a paradise of nicotine.

Auntie Li, the neighbor who watched this, felt her heart break.

The Xie family was quite well-off, as both parents were high-ranking police officials. However, they made a fatal mistake while handling a case and were both demoted to a low-level department. Around that time, Mrs. Xie happened to fall ill, and to afford the hospital bills, the family sold their large house and moved to a small alley in the old district of Huzhou City. Though it was a poor life, they were able to make many kind neighbors.

After the parents passed away, Xie Qingcheng, still a minor, had to shoulder the responsibility of being the head of the household. Pitying them, the neighbors took care of the two siblings. Among them, the person who cherished Xie Qingcheng the most was Auntie Li.

Auntie Li, who was slightly younger than Xie Qingcheng’s mother, loved children but had no children of her own as she had remained unmarried throughout her life. She regarded the Xie siblings as her own children. Especially after the Xie couple passed away, this woman, who floated alone like duckweed, and the children who lost their parents felt an irresistible emotion toward each other.

When Xie Qingcheng got divorced, Auntie Li spent a long time in tears. Once she regained her composure, like an old mother agonizing over her child’s worries, she determined to introduce a young lady to him.

He, too, could not refuse Auntie Li’s sincerity and went on every date she arranged. Though he only showed his face out of politeness. Moreover, from the perspective of the blind date partners, he wasn’t a very good option.

Around the time Xie Qingcheng first married, his conditions were quite good. A handsome face, tall stature, a doctor working at one of the three major hospitals, and a talent with a bright future in his prime twenties.

The only hardware defect was that his family background was poor and he had no money.

But now, being a divorcee and a university professor, he earned less than he did as a doctor, and since he was no longer very young, these defects became prominently highlighted. A divorced man nearing forty with no good house or car. On top of that, a younger sister who wouldn’t marry and only asked for money came as a bonus.

No matter how handsome he was, unless he was a celebrity, he couldn’t make a living with his face.

How could parents with daughters just sit back and watch this?

Blind dates are different from dating. Although everyone says first impressions are important, they actually weigh the partner’s conditions first, so conversations usually went like this:

—Your profession is quite good. By any chance, are you family-oriented?

—No. As a medical school professor, the lecture curriculum must be meticulous and without error, and there are many student issues, so I often work overtime.

—Ah… Still, the income is decent, right?

—I believe a promotion is possible after about three more years of teaching. I’m not certain if I’ll remain at the university after three years, though.

—I see… By any chance, are there other family members at home?

—…I have a younger sister.

—Is she married?

—Not yet.

In this way, the reconnaissance was sharp and direct. The blade that dissected Xie Qingcheng’s conditions cleanly shaved away even the smiles of the partners who had come with expectations.

Auntie Li, upon learning this, paced anxiously.

—Oh my, blind dates are about bragging! That’s the unspoken agreement of society. Others are busy boasting, so what do you do by only mentioning your shortcomings? Everyone is anxious to watch their words, but you just speak bluntly!

In truth, Xie Qingcheng wanted to say that he had no intention of remarrying.

But seeing Auntie Li’s eyes, which were not just anxious but heartbroken, he immediately corrected his words.

—…It’s because it’s a habit. I’m sorry.

Auntie Li stared at him for a long while and then teared up.

—My dear, I don’t know why the Buddha doesn’t look after a kind child like you… I burn incense and bow every day. If the Buddha could find one more good match for our precious boy, I would have no regrets even if I died right now…

—Auntie Li, why would you say such things.

—At my old age, what is there to fear. But you’re different. You’re still young. If you spend your life in regret like this, with what face would I meet your father and Wuying when I go to the afterlife…

Auntie Li continued to search for all sorts of blind date partners, hoping for a good match until the end.

Xie Qingcheng felt very uncomfortable. As a proud, masculine man, he didn’t want to lie, nor did he want to be nitpicked. Furthermore, his state of mind was completely different from when he dated Li Ruoqiu. At that time, he was convinced that he would never share a future with anyone.

But how could this patriarchal man, steeped in Confucian spirit, endure the sadness and tears of his acquaintances? He had to ensure they remained happy under his care.

So, even though he knew the outcome, to make the auntie happy, he promised to attend blind dates that felt like company interviews.

The name of the woman he was having a blind date with this time was Bai Jing. He heard that a relative of her family was a professor teaching students at a famous medical school. Bai Jing was an employee at a luxury store in a department store famous for being the trendiest in Huzhou.

This wealthy coastal city was teeming with billionaires. Working in a place where luxury was the norm and speaking with rich customers all day, she fell into the illusion that she herself was a noble and great person. When looking at others, she checked the clothing brand logo first. Boys wearing Adidas were branded as poor, and one had to wear at least Prada to be qualified to speak to her.

When Xie Qingcheng arrived at the cafe, Bai Jing was on the phone with a close friend.

“Oh, I’m telling you. You didn’t know. I see idiots every day when I go to work. Today, a mother and son came together, and the son was wearing some kind of rag. It looked like it was bought from Taobao; it’s a good thing I’m a professional, otherwise I absolutely couldn’t have managed my expression. I mean, why on earth do you come to a luxury store wearing rags bought from Taobao? Isn’t it just hilarious?”

Raising her pinky finger adorned with a rhinestone and stirring the coffee in her espresso cup, Bai Jing giggled, covering her mouth as she listened to her best friend’s response over the phone.

“What do you think he bought? Obviously nothing. He’d have to save half a year’s worth of both his and his mother’s salaries just to afford one pair of slippers from our store. No, honey, and do you know what? Do you know what that boy said to me? He goes, ‘Do you not sell baseball caps here? My mother loves exercising, so I wanted to buy her a baseball cap for her birthday.’”

Bai Jing chuckled, her shoulders shaking.

“So, I just gave it to him straight: ‘I’m sorry, but our brand has never released baseball caps, sir. Are you perhaps unfamiliar with our brand?’ Ahahaha, you should have seen his face! It was seriously priceless… Oh, wait. I think the guy I’m supposed to meet is here. I’ll hang up for a second. Let’s stop by Bulgari later for afternoon tea, honey. Love you! Mwah!”

Unfortunately, Xie Qingcheng, who was wandering through the chaotic, marketplace-like cafe searching for her, did not hear her arrogant rambling.

Bai Jing spotted him looking around. He fit the image described by the matchmaker perfectly: ‘tall, handsome, with peach blossom eyes and a chic aura.’ She quickly waved her hand toward him.

“Hi! You’re Professor Xie Qingcheng, right?”

Xie Qingcheng approached.

“Yes. Hello.”

Her gaze swept over him from head to toe, lingering for a moment on his simple T-shirt, before Bai Jing beamed a bright smile and raised her tone by eight octaves.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Bai Jing.”