By Zephyria 
Completely forgetting how restless he had been just a few days ago, wondering when he could finally leave Cha Min-gyu’s house, Yi-ho now counted down the remaining days with regret. When he lived in the house across the street, there were times he felt they lived too close, but now that they were spending their time without even a front door between them, even the five-step distance of the hallway felt far.
Going back home was one thing, but the contract was another issue.
Common sense dictated that he should finish the contract and leave the apartment he was currently living in. In the past, when he was looking for a place, he had to compromise because a rookie employee’s deposit funds weren’t ample, but now, with the money he had saved while working, he could easily afford a much better place. Cha Min-gyu had been well-off enough to live alone in a spacious studio since high school, yet he had chosen this place simply because it meant he could be with Yi-ho…
Since it was such an old building, a leak had sprung in Yi-ho’s house this year, and there was a chance a leak might spring in Min-gyu’s house next year. Since he had a car, he could consider a spacious new apartment if he moved slightly to the outskirts.
But if he moved, it would be difficult to maintain this current arrangement of living within arm’s reach.
Would they then have to live a bit further apart?
In truth, that was the general form of people in a relationship. There was even a term called “long-distance relationship”; currently, Yi-ho and Min-gyu were in an excessively “ultra-short-distance” relationship.
Still, there was an inevitable sense of longing. To the point where a half-serious joke crossed his mind: Should I just call him back and illegally extend my stay at Cha Min-gyu’s house for another two years?
As Yi-ho sank into his anguish, the Cha siblings approached. Thanks to Min-jung’s booming voice echoing from afar, he was able to notice their approach in advance.
“Oppa, don’t step there! There’s lava flowing there!”
Min-jung shouted something completely random while pointing downward. Looking at the floor, there was a pink tile beneath Min-gyu’s feet.
“You can’t go that way! Let’s find another path!”
“Oh dear, we’re in trouble.”
Min-gyu clumsily scooped up Min-jung, who had come to a dead stop on a white tile.
“Aaaaah!”
“I’m already a goner. Min-jung, step over your Oppa’s sacrifice and return alive.”
Min-gyu strode over to the table and sat Min-jung in a chair, then took the remaining seat beside her. Min-jung relayed the shocking incident to Yi-ho.
“Uncle, Oppa fell into the lava.”
“Ah, my legs are so hot. My legs are melting.”
“Uh… but.”
“If you’re going to give me a scientific explanation that there’s no lava in Seoul, just pray for my soul, Song-i.”
“…I wasn’t.”
It was just absurd that he had gone from feeling like an old married couple with a lover he’d only started dating yesterday to suddenly becoming a widow in an instant.
“Song-i, hand.”
“Why?”
A keyring doll, just the right size to fit perfectly in Yi-ho’s outstretched palm, was dropped into his hand.
It was a Jelly Jelly Roll keyring, depicting a character concentrating on typing on a keyboard with a laptop resting on its belly.
“Jelly Song-i Roll.”
Yi-ho felt a slight blow to his pride that he burst out laughing immediately.
“Where did you get something like this?”
“I saw it while buying one for her. What do you want to eat? Pick something from the menu on the wall over there.”
“Uncle Song-i Song-i. What are you going to eat? I’m going to have the kids’ meal. It comes with a hamburger steak and spaghetti. But Oppa promised to eat the french fries for me. I don’t like french fries.”
“Yes, Intern Cha Min-jung gave a great briefing, but not even half of it would have been registered by Uncle Song-i.”
Min-gyu sat Min-jung with her back to him and untied her hair tie. Min-jung’s hair, which had been tied neatly in pigtails, had become somewhat avant-garde before they arrived, and Cha Min-gyu’s clothes were crumpled, unlike his usually tidy personality. While Yi-ho was choosing something to eat, Min-jung’s hair was tied up in a neat, pointy shape, like horns on top.
Perhaps because she was in a state of excitement with her heart pounding from moving around so much, Min-jung continued to chatter away. While there was no room for Yi-ho and Min-gyu to interject, their eyes met occasionally.
While Min-jung was distracted by picking up a fork and staring at her food tray, Min-gyu smiled and touched Yi-ho’s hand under the table. It was barely a touch, but the ticklish sensation was overwhelming. What on earth is he doing in a sacred kids’ cafe, honestly.
After the meal, Min-jung sat the two dark-haired men down and started a roleplay.
“Oppa, you’ve now arrived at the Jelly Sweet Cafe.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Not ‘uh-huh,’ you have to say, ‘Ding-dong! Hello!'”
“No, define my role before I make my entrance. What kind of customer am I? Am I nice? Or am I a nuisance?”
“Hmm… a bit nice, but a bit of a nuisance.”
“Okay. Got it.”
Then Min-gyu pointed at Yi-ho.
“What about Song-i?”
“Uncle Song-i is a part-timer who makes rice cakes.”
“I thought this was a cake cafe…”
President Kim and President Song, who wouldn’t have let their son make rice cakes even if dirt got in their eyes, would have beaten their chests in sorrow if they heard this. Of course, such trivial circumstances were not important to today’s protagonist, so the roleplay began immediately.
The “nice nuisance” Min-gyu entered the shop through a door visible only to those under ten years old.
“Hello. Oh? There’s a handsome person here I’ve never seen before. Nice to meet you.”
“……? Yes, hello…”
The customer threw out a greeting that sounded like a multi-level marketing pitch and shifted his hips to walk inside. Yi-ho already set up a guard, thinking, This is a strange person.
“Where did the owner go?”
“Owner Min-jung, a customer is looking for you.”
“I’m making cakes, so the part-timer has to take the order!”
“Yes… Sir, would you like to order?”
“What’s the most popular item here?”
Along with the question, he pushed his head suspiciously close to Yi-ho. The toy counter of this cafe was narrower than Yi-ho’s hand-span, providing zero protection for the introverted part-timer. Yi-ho leaned his body far back as he answered.
“The cakes made by our cafe owner are truly delicious, and for drinks, the Americano sells the best.”
“Hmm, since I smell something delicious coming from the kitchen, the owner must be baking cakes. Owner Min-jung, what cake are you making?”
Min-jung, in the kitchen, looked up as if she had been waiting.
“Ribbon Cake and Jewel Cake.”
“Wow, they must be so pretty. But Jewel Cakes are hard, so how do you eat them? Won’t your teeth break while eating?”
“Uh… they aren’t real jewels, they’re candy jewels, so they melt!”
“Wow, amazing.”
He had seemed half-hearted and reluctant, but once the play started, the siblings were in perfect sync. Soon, Min-jung began boiling jewels in a pot. Apparently, she was an alchemist living in hiding as a cafe owner.
“Then a cake and… what should I drink. Which of the cafe’s drinks was the tastiest for our part-timer?”
The question suddenly turned toward him again. Even the owner stopped cooking and stared intently to see how the part-timer would answer.
“I like iced Americanos and cold brews.”
“It’s all coffee… The part-timer’s stomach is going ‘ouch.’ And there’s no one to give it a ‘kiss’ to make it better.”
Yi-ho’s shoulders twitched. This is definitely intentional, isn’t it…?
“…It’s never hurt.”
“I’m sensitive to caffeine, so please recommend a decaf menu.”
“We have decaf beans available, and we have various types of tea.”
“Hmm…”
The customer, who seemed to be pondering carefully, met Yi-ho’s eyes again and smiled softly.
“Talking to you makes me suddenly crave something refreshing. Do you have any summer seasonal drinks?”
“We have watermelon smoothies and grape smoothies.”
“Ah, the part-timer explained so kindly that I feel bad. Nothing really catches my eye. Um, is it possible to order something that’s not on the menu?”
“…Yes, I’ll do what I can.”
“Wow, thank you.”
His tone was polite, but he didn’t order and just kept talking in circles. The kind of person who gradually makes you feel irritated, thinking, What is with this customer? …He was indeed a “nice nuisance.”
After pretending to be lost in thought for a moment, Min-gyu snapped his fingers.
“Ah, that would be good.”
What is it? the disgruntled part-timer asked bluntly in his head.
“Do you sell Song-i mushroom lattes?”
“We don’t.”
“Aw, just in case, please ask the owner.”
“…Owner, the cust-omer is asking if we sell Song-i mushroom lattes.”
Min-jung wouldn’t notice the subtle difference in pronunciation. Min-jung tilted her head, saying “Song-i mushroom?” and then looked at Yi-ho’s face.
“We sell Song-i mushroom lattes. I grew them myself.”
“…Song-i mushrooms can’t be farmed… never mind. Then how much should I tell the customer the Song-i mushroom latte is?”
“Hmm, 2,000 won.”
What? It was a price that would make even a lazy, half-hearted part-timer jump to their feet. Yi-ho leaned down and whispered to Min-jung.
“Owner, if we do business like that, we’ll go bankrupt.”
“Why?”
“Song-i mushrooms are so expensive; selling them for 2,000 won is too cheap.”
“Song-i mushrooms are expensive? Why?”
“Well… they only grow deep in the mountains, and they’re good for your health, so everyone wants them, which made them very, very expensive.”
“That’s right. People all over the world are bewitched and going crazy for them.”
That guy is pretending to just throw words out, but I bet he’s hiding what he really wants to say in circles again…
“Wow. Then 2,500 won.”
“…Owner, I’ll just handle it myself.”
Yi-ho looked up and faced Min-gyu again.
“Song-i mushroom lattes are sold at market price.”
When Yi-ho said this, a couple playing house with their young daughter right behind them burst into laughter. Both Min-gyu and Yi-ho, who had spoken the words, had their lips twitching as they tried to hold back their laughter. Only one person, Min-jung, looked around at the adults.
“Oppa, what’s ‘market price’?”
“It’s a trick used by very wicked business owners to charge whatever they want at the time. Yes, it is. So, what is the market price?”
Yi-ho answered solemnly.
“One million won.”
“Hahaha, one million won! It’s one million won!”
The owner giggled at the part-timer’s efforts to save the cafe. She seemed to love the shocking amount, repeating “one million won” about twenty times while running around before being caught and sat on Min-gyu’s lap.
“Oppa, he said one million won!”
“Yeah, I heard.”
“So, sir. Would you like to order?”
“Yes, I will.”
“Would you like it hot or iced?”
“Hmm? That’s strange. The Song-i mushroom latte I know was just very hot and soft.”
“Hey!”
Chapter
61
“Hmm? That’s strange. The pine mushroom latte I know was just incredibly hot and smooth.”
“Hey!”
Yi-ho’s cheeks flushed as red as the temperature of a pine mushroom latte. No matter how many hundreds of times Yi-ho had kidnapped Cha Min-gyu to Amsterdam in his head, he had never had such thoughts in a kids’ cafe! The dull pain that had barely faded from his consciousness, along with the memories of the previous night, began to creep back to life.
“Oh dear, the part-timer must be angry because we were being too bothersome. I should order quickly.”
“Just give me a million won and leave right now.”
“Come to think of it, I think I’ll just have an iced americano.”
“…….”
This bastard…. Suddenly empathizing with the poor part-timer, Yi-ho pressed down firmly on the toy calculator.
“That will be 5,000 won.”
“Yes, yes. CEO Min-jung, how should I pay?”
“Money!”
“Cash only? Jeez, from the market pricing to the tax evasion, this place is a hotbed of illegality, isn’t it?”
Min-gyu pulled his wallet from his pocket. After taking out a ten-thousand won bill, he picked up a felt-tip pen nearby and turned his back to Yi-ho to hide what he was doing before handing over the money.
“Please give me a receipt. I’ll write a review.”
“…Yes.”
Another piece of paper was tucked inside the bill. When he unfolded it, it was Min-gyu’s business card. Marketing Team Leader Cha Min-gyu. Yi-ho flipped the card over. There was a note written on the back.
Contact me after your shift ends ^^ Hot Cha Min-gyu is on standby at all times~ ^^
He was a customer who played dirty until the very end, but since his face and body were exactly Yi-ho’s type, he could be rated as a ‘kind’ nuisance.
∗ ∗ ∗
Young Cha Min-jung was terribly sorrowful about the parting, even after spending the most exciting five hours of her life. After holding on for a long time and leaving a damp smudge of her nose and mouth in the middle of Yi-ho’s hoodie pocket, she finally climbed into the car to go home.
Yi-ho sat in the passenger seat of Min-gyu’s car, just as he had when coming to the kids’ cafe. With both hands, he stretched and pinched the face of the Jelly Jelly Roll doll—the one that looked like it was using a laptop—which he had received earlier.
“Why are you bullying Song-i’s clone?”
The steering wheel turned smoothly, and the voice giving the reprimand was similarly smooth. He knew he was being teased, but his heart felt so ticklish that he couldn’t even bring himself to think grumpy thoughts.
Yi-ho lifted the doll to observe it closely. It had a large head boasting a 1:1 ratio with its body, big round eyes, and lips smiling in the shape of a reclining ‘3’. He could see why its overtly cute appearance was popular with children.
“But… what species is this thing? A rabbit? A pig?”
“The fact that you’re questioning that proves Song-i shouldn’t do marketing.”
“Why? Don’t you have to know it well to sell it well?”
“The species of the thing isn’t the part you need to know.”
“Why….”
He truly couldn’t understand. The problem was that Min-gyu, in the driver’s seat, also had a face that looked like he had given up on understanding the other person. Instead of an explanation, he made a concise request.
“Hand.”
Min-gyu’s large palm was extended over the console. Even though the air conditioner was blasting inside the car, Yi-ho’s insides felt hot, as if he had been drinking.
“Do you… want the doll?”
“Darling, surely you aren’t that oblivious?”
“…….”
When Yi-ho remained silent, the hand in the center flickered. He knew. Even a complete idiot—or even an AI—would answer, ‘The intention is that he wants to hold hands.’
As soon as Yi-ho’s hesitating hand hovered near the palm, Min-gyu closed his grip and held his hand tightly.
“……!”
“Takeout: one hot pine mushroom latte.”
“…Ha….”
“I’m going to hide you away at home and savor you all by myself.”
“…….”
A thrill, as if he had been electrocuted, seemed to spread through his entire body. He wanted to twist his limbs and fidget.
“Do we really have to do this kind of thing? Can’t we do something else?”
He felt that if they did this often, it definitely wouldn’t have a positive effect on his health. Min-gyu squeezed his hand tighter, as if to show off.
“What else should we do? I have to beg for ages just to get a kiss, and you won’t even let me blow on the parts that hurt.”
“No, is that really all you want to do when you’re dating?”
“There’s much more. I think this is the first time in my life after thirty that I’ve been this overflowing with creativity.”
“…….”
Yi-ho looked at Min-gyu and applied a little pressure to the hand being held. Min-gyu interlaced their fingers. Their locked hands held each other firmly.
Min-gyu rubbed between the bones of Yi-ho’s fingers and stroked various parts of the back of his hand to his heart’s content. Every time his fingers were pressed, Yi-ho’s body flinched as if a button had been pressed. Receiving Min-gyu’s thorough touch, Yi-ho wondered if he could copy Min-gyu’s fingerprints right now if he had a thin device attached to his hand. I’ll take all ten fingerprints and just stamp them onto a marriage registration form… As he fiddled with the fingers driven by that desire, the gaze of the man facing forward to drive shifted slightly toward Yi-ho.
“Do it more. It feels good.”
…That tone was the same as the one Yi-ho had heard several times last night. Hold me tight, hug me…, Song-i, it feels so good…. It wasn’t the playful Cha Min-gyu of now, but the version that called Yi-ho’s name over and over, thrusting inside him and unable to hide his excitement.
This guy Cha Min-gyu, he has no idea he’s in danger of having a spouse column appear on his resident registration transcript! Yi-ho’s mind buzzed like a wedding hall packed with guests.
He had sat in the passenger seat of Min-gyu’s car dozens—no, hundreds of times—but he felt like he was getting motion sickness even in this smoothly driving car.
“Song-i, by the way, what was that phone call earlier? You were on the phone for quite a while.”
“Ah…, the landlady. She said she’d send someone to do repairs after the weekend.”
“Really? Then you’ll have to go back to the house next door.”
“I guess so….”
Yi-ho said, looking at their tightly held hands.
“And she asked how I wanted to handle the contract.”
The steering wheel held by Min-gyu’s one hand tilted slightly to the side. A gap passed where it was unclear if the response was delayed because he was turning left, or if he truly couldn’t find the words for a moment. In the meantime, Yi-ho returned to reality from the shouting in his head.
“What do you want to do, Song-i?”
Of all times, they were entering the entrance of the apartment where the phrase ‘our home’ had finally become natural to his lips.
Of course, it would be a shame to end the strange life in the house next door after their relationship had become like this. However, it was hard to endure the inconvenience of the residence because of that. If it were only his own problem, it might be different, but since Min-gyu was involved too….
“Even if we get a bit of distance between us….”
Screech.
The car came to a sudden, jarring halt. His body lurched forward for a moment before snapping back. Fortunately, it was a parking lot with no passing cars. Min-gyu let go of Yi-ho’s hand and clutched his own heart.
“Song-i, I… I think I’ve developed a trauma to that word.”
“What?”
“Wait… just let me calm down. Don’t talk to me until I’ve parked.”
Min-gyu slowly moved the car and put it in a parking space. Even as they got out of the car and waited for the elevator, it was absurd to see him hunching his large frame and pretending to stroke his heart.
“What… just because you heard the word ‘distance’?”
“Don’t!”
Min-gyu shouted and looked at Yi-ho. He thought he was joking, but his eyes actually seemed a bit moist.
He rushed into the house first, took cold water from the fridge, and gulped it down. He shouted again at Yi-ho, who was watching him in bewilderment.
“Just try saying you’re going to keep your distance from me one more time!”
Then he stormed into the bedroom. Yi-ho followed him to see what he was doing, only to find him lying face down on the bed. It was simply absurd to see this guy, whose feet were poking out of the king-sized bed, acting like this.
Yi-ho watched to see how long he would keep up this fuss, but he really just kept his head buried and wouldn’t get up. Eventually, Yi-ho approached the bed and sat down beside Min-gyu.
“Back then, when you heard those words… you fought back quite confidently.”
“We’re lovers now. When I substitute ‘lover’ into the face you made when you spoke so scarily, it’s just too heartbreaking.”
Min-gyu snatched Yi-ho’s waist and hugged him tightly.
“Don’t keep your distance.”
“I know.”
“Don’t run away.”
“…I won’t.”
“If you do it again, I’ll hold a one-man protest in front of your office while you’re working. ‘Development Team Leader Song Yi-ho is a deserter of Cha Min-gyu. Take responsibility for playing with a man’s heart.’”
“…We’d both get fired.”
“When you come home, I’ll seize the security office and broadcast it all night. ‘Unit 1802 Song Yi-ho is a deserter of Unit 1801 Cha Min-gyu. Take responsibility for playing with a man’s heart.’”
“We’d both be kicked out that day.”
Exhaling a long breath, Yi-ho rubbed the hair of Min-gyu, who was below his line of sight. Unlike when he returned from the office, the hair felt soft.
“Even if we end up with no home and no temple, I’ll be homeless right next to you, so… stop being anxious.”
Min-gyu looked up, glanced at Yi-ho’s face, and then buried his face back in his embrace.
“How could I let Song-i be homeless? I’ll just have to endure and live well.”
Looking at this, Yi-ho felt that far from packing his bags, he wouldn’t even mind if the house leaked water one more time.
“Then, should we keep the house?”
“That’s nonsense. After seeing the flood this year?”
The voice that came, showing his eyes this time, was utterly rational. For a moment, Yi-ho thought his lover had been stolen and Team Leader Cha had stormed into the house.
“Tell me when you’ve decided where you want to move, Song-i. I’ll at least move to the same apartment complex.”
“Is it okay to leave the house you’ll live in up to my decision?”
“Yes.”
Min-gyu shifted his body and pressed his face against Yi-ho’s stomach.
“You have rights to my life. It’s a life sentence.”
“…….”
“So you have the right to control my life too.”
“…….”
What came to mind at this moment were the words Min-gyu had shouted when Yi-ho tried to run away. ‘Don’t I have the right to interfere with you to this extent?’
Min-gyu lifted Yi-ho’s t-shirt with the tip of his nose. Then, he began to plant kisses—mwah, mwah—on the exposed stomach.
He usually climbed into bed only after washing up. Therefore, he was usually showered when they mixed their bodies. But today, because he was pretending to be sulky, he had just flopped onto the bed, and since he had to look after Min-jung, he seemingly hadn’t put on any perfume. As Yi-ho quietly sniffed, he felt a body scent that was deeper than usual. This felt strangely odd… He knew he shouldn’t, but it was addictive. He had originally been a pervert only in his head, but now he had become a pervert capable of action.
This was all because of the man digging into someone else’s stomach. As he twisted his body and pushed the forehead away, Min-gyu looked up at Yi-ho dissatisfiedly.
“Why are you keeping your distance?”
“We need to be a bit apart at this distance. Ha….”
Min-gyu, with his face buried in bare skin, didn’t care. His lips, moving down with mwah, mwah kisses, began to touch the crotch where a faint shadow formed over the jeans. It was now difficult to ignore the slow-creeping heat.
“…Do you want to?”
“Wow…, Song-i, that ‘older man’ vibe just now was really….”
“What on earth….”
“Yes, Song-i Hyung. I’ve thought of nothing else since this morning. I even spent a million won on a pine mushroom latte that’s supposed to be good for stamina.”
“…I thought you were kicked out for being a nuisance customer.”
“That’s a rumor.”
After finishing his nonsense, Min-gyu traced the outline of the genitals inside the pants with his lips. His body quickly brought back the deep excitement of last night.