By Zephyria 
There was a time when Yi-ho couldn’t define the feelings he harbored for Min-gyu.
A kid whose personality meshed well with his, a kid who happened to share his hobby of boxing, a kid who insisted on sticking by his side even though he himself was boring, a kid who smelled better than anyone else.
By the time he reached adulthood, Min-gyu had become the kind of friend he felt he might never encounter again in his life.
And after a few more years had passed, Min-gyu had become a central axis of his existence. Even if the emotions had mutated, the core root was friendship.
A low call reached his ears. He felt the sensation of a hand touching his face, and the heavy feeling of something brushing across his forehead. Soon, a blanket warmed by body heat completely enveloped him.
At a moment when he should have been having a cozy dream, a dull heat was blooming in Yi-ho’s lower abdomen.
What stood before him was initially an indistinct shape. A hand extended from it and gripped Yi-ho’s body. The hand was very large, with firm knuckles. It fumbled along his waist, wrapped around his chest, stroking in circles before gripping the nipple that had been stimulated by the pressure. He felt an itch and a sting simultaneously.
Wait, stop…
The sensation spreading from his chest like a vibration dulled his resistance. Moreover, the shape before him had suddenly taken on the full form of a person.
“Song-i, open your legs.”
“…Why?”
“So I can touch there, too.”
“Me? Why?”
“You can’t?”
Cha Min-gyu’s voice said words that Cha Min-gyu would never actually say. Because the tone was laced with a terribly familiar tenderness, he couldn’t help but do as he was told.
As Yi-ho hesitantly spread his legs, two hands gently pushed the insides of his thighs. No, he corrected himself. The expression was gentle, but Yi-ho’s legs were forced wide open until both knees reached the height of his waist. The hot body heat that had been thoroughly exploring his body now gripped his genitals.
Just the act of being gripped made his mind flash. But it didn’t stop there. He gripped the shaft and testicles together, pushing them upward, and then slid his hand down along the exposed perineum. When the hand parted the closed gap, Yi-ho trembled violently, but he did not resist.
This couldn’t possibly be real anyway.
If so, just a little more…
Yi-ho reached out between his legs. He planned to grab the other person and pull him up. Since the other’s hand had touched him without hesitation, this much should be permissible. Even if it was an expression fabricated by a dream, he wanted to see his face just once.
Because right now, it wouldn’t be the expression of a friend, so just once.
Cha Min-gyu’s sense of distance was the same in dreams as in reality; he had abruptly crossed the line, but stopped exactly at a tantalizing position. Yi-ho’s outstretched hands gripped both of his shoulders.
The moment greed touched his body, Min-gyu’s form smiled deeply. And then, he was cast out of the fantasy.
Yi-ho blinked his hazy eyes. The scenery slowly came into view. His muscles, not yet fully awake, shuddered all at once as he realized.
He was in Cha Min-gyu’s hotel room.
“Crazy…”
Yi-ho hurriedly lifted the blanket and fumbled the sheets where his waist and hips had been resting. Fortunately, they were only warm from body heat; there was no wet feeling.
On the wall hanger hung the t-shirt he had bled on yesterday, now laundered. Yi-ho snatched the clothes. They were damp, not fully dried, but he didn’t care. Before leaving the room, he spotted the ‘Make up the room’ button on the panel next to the door. His hand, trembling as much as his embarrassment and guilt, hammered the button. Then, he immediately bolted from the room.
The dizziness in his head wasn’t just because he had lost blood yesterday. While he felt restless and anxious, his body was hot. Fortunately, he was alone in the elevator. Yi-ho pressed his forehead against the damp t-shirt until he reached his floor, then walked quickly down the hallway.
Once inside his room and alone behind the closed door, Yi-ho wiped his face with his palm. Looking down, he saw that his genitals inside his pants were half-erect.
“Ugh…”
An impulse he had almost never experienced in his life surged through him. It felt as if Cha Min-gyu—his hand—was still clinging to his body. Before he knew it, his genitals, pressed against the bed, felt tingly. He slid under the crumpled blanket as if hiding and reached inside his pants. The air inside his underwear was already humid. His right hand awkwardly gripped his member. Soon, he gripped it firmly and shook it up and down. It took no time for his member, rubbing against his palm, to become wet with pre-cum.
“Ugh, hng…”
Yi-ho closed his eyes tight. The dull, boiling sensation began to stir under the direct stimulation. At the end of the breath he exhaled and inhaled hotly under the blanket, the scent of the person he was thinking of lingered. With his other hand, he gripped the t-shirt he was wearing.
He had borrowed it from Min-gyu the day before, and he had been held tightly by him while wearing this shirt. Suddenly, his breathing grew heavier and his body hotter. His pants and underwear were pushed down, and his fully erect member sprang out. His body curled inward, unable to bear the tingling in his lower abdomen.
Song Yi-ho, you crazy bastard, how old are you to be doing this now…
“Ha…, ah…”
The collar of the t-shirt was pulled tight, covering his nose and mouth. Even as he bit his lip until it almost burst from the surging self-loathing, the sexual pleasure would not subside.
“Cha Min-gyu, …, ngh, ah…”
His waist vibrated intermittently. As his palm grew hot, his member heated up as well. Min-gyu’s firm body, which he had stripped before him without hesitation; the gestures of worry, the expressions, the contact, the clothes lent without a second thought.
At some point, Min-gyu was substituted for the hand exploring his body and shaking his member. The memories of where touches had often landed—head, face, shoulders—spread through his body. It was ecstatic, yet something nauseating surged from within. Every moment Yi-ho recalled was also evidence of the fact that the two were irreplaceable friends.
He liked Cha Min-gyu terribly. The emotions he had kept in place for over ten years began to smudge and decay.
Perhaps they had started to ooze long ago, and he had simply tried to ignore it. The faster the hand shaking his member moved, the more the disgust for himself added to the pleasure.
Just finish it quickly.
“Ah…”
With that thought, he shook his member forcefully, but he didn’t reach ejaculation; he just hovered on the edge. What blocked the final step was, as expected, the guilt that he shouldn’t be doing such a thing.
Cha Min-gyu, Cha Min-gyu, Cha Min-gyu.
Repeating his name, the hand that had swept up his body gripped his shoulder as if squeezing it. It was where Min-gyu always placed his hand. Yi-ho’s hand moved faster.
Song-i.
He felt as if he heard that call, and he also felt as if he heard “Song Yi-ho” called in a stiff, contemptuous tone. He tightened his lower abdomen and buttocks. The scent of the t-shirt still covering his face gradually overshadowed the guilt and self-loathing.
“…Ah…”
Ugh… With a long, scratching moan, his hand became sticky. Finally, the excitement poured out into his hand. A fishy scent was felt, overriding Min-gyu’s scent that had pooled under the blanket.
With a flushed face, Yi-ho emerged from under the blanket and roughly wiped his hand with a tissue. His hair was as messy as the crumpled clothes. His unsettled breath heaved.
“…Crazy bastard.”
After the mutter directed at himself, he took off the t-shirt he was wearing entirely. And then, he covered his face with it.
The first thing to pour out there was a short sob. Biting the damp t-shirt, he turned his body and lay face down in the blanket. Yi-ho rubbed his head against the t-shirt on the pillow and rubbed his member again. His member, not yet erect, throbbed, but he moved hastily. The excitement soon returned.
“Ngh…”
His movements were urgent, like masturbating in secret while hiding. However, his breathing became rougher than before. His entire mind synchronized to force the sexual pleasure upward, fueled by the pleasure and impulse he had just felt.
Once again, his hand became wet.
The fact that Song Yi-ho liked Cha Min-gyu was something no one could know as long as he didn’t say it out loud. But now, blatant evidence had been revealed. Whenever a useless thought tried to enter his mind, he intentionally tightened his grip.
Like the debugging of an old, outdated computer, logs began to appear slowly in his head.
[Song Yi-ho likes Cha Min-gyu > TRUE]
[Cha Min-gyu thinks of Song Yi-ho as family > TRUE]
[Song Yi-ho is happy that Cha Min-gyu is kind to him > NULL]
A blank value (NULL) appeared, neither TRUE nor FALSE.
[Song Yi-ho wants to sleep in one bed with Cha Min-gyu, use his arm as a pillow, kiss him when their eyes meet, strip, and have sex > TRUE]
[The above actions are things that can be done between family members > FALSE]
Yes, my greed has finally exceeded the limit.
“…Ha…”
The moment has come where I can’t even remain a friend.
“Ha, ugh…, …, ah…!”
Along with the painful realization, his member vomited semen once more. It was thinner and a longer ejaculation than before.
Having masturbated twice in a rush, a belated sense of self-loathing washed over him. He would not be able to return the crumpled t-shirt before him now.
Lying face down on the bed with his back heaving, Yi-ho closed his eyes tight again.
The phone that had slipped out of his pocket during masturbation vibrated near his waist. Yi-ho fumbled for the phone and opened his eyes halfway.
Cha Min-gyu
[Song-i, I’m heading to work first] 08:41 AM
[Are you resting well?] 10:55 AM
“……”
His whole body lost strength from a mixture of unknown relief and sorrow.
He moved his fingertip across the screen. Even after this, he didn’t want to lose the position of a good friend.
[Yeah. I’m back in my room.]
[I’m going to sleep a bit more.]
The variable that had been occupying memory for a long time began to turn creakily. The volume it already occupied was so large it felt as if his head would explode.
Song Yi-ho liked Cha Min-gyu truly, terribly. To the point where he found himself terribly disgusting.