By Zephyria 
My father, who had been exceptionally busy this winter with frequent business trips to Europe, has returned. Since he started taking care of me, Dad has delegated most of his work to his employees, but there were still occasional long trips like this. Now that his busy period is over, Dad and Seo-joo will be staying with me for a while.
Perhaps because he had been away for nearly a month, the house is overflowing with vitality. The moment Seo-joo saw Dad, he clung to him and wouldn’t let go, and for the first time in a long while, the house was filled with the noisy bustle of people living together. I liked this crowded, hectic energy of a space filled with my people.
I’ve grown accustomed to the sight of Dad and my brother chatting while preparing food in the kitchen. While the titles they use to address each other are still a bit ambiguous, they have become quite comfortable with one another. While having dinner with my family, I took out the flyer Seo-joo had given me earlier and told them about the class. Seeing me explain it so passionately, everyone showed as much interest in the class as I did.
“That’s amazing. Hae-joo, you’ve been singing about wanting to learn desserts to sell at a cafe. This is perfect!”
“That’s exactly what I mean! I was contemplating whether to go to the mainland to find an academy, but that’s a hassle because of the ferry schedule.”
“That’s why you definitely have to learn it; this is an opportunity. Hyung!”
Seo-joo urged me actively, his eyes sparkling. Of course, I intend to do just that. No, how did something I wanted appear at such a perfect time? It was truly mysterious. Is my luck finally turning around? They say pleasure follows pain, and lately, things have been strangely smooth.
“Are you that happy? It makes me feel so good to see Hae-joo looking so lively after such a long time. Though it seems you like that more than seeing your father after a while.”
“Aw, Dad. That’s not a fair comparison. I’ve really wanted to learn this. It would be great to have desserts I made in the cafe, but there was nowhere to learn. So how amazing is it that something like this just popped up?”
I mumbled earnestly while eating a wrap my brother had made for me. Even I felt that this kind of liveliness was something I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Until now, I had been exhausted and struggling due to my long life of evasion and treatment. There were many days when I lived with my nerves frayed to the extreme, in a constant state of tension, fearing that Joo Min-hyeok would suddenly appear and take not only me but also Dad and Seo-joo.
Since identifying and finding the people who moved with me would be a piece of cake for him. Yet, so far, everyone has been safe. It seemed as though Joo Min-hyeok didn’t even know who Dad and Seo-joo were, as if he hadn’t investigated at all. Now that he’s caught Hyun-wook, he’s someone who could easily identify the two if he put his mind to it, so why has he been so quiet?
Probably because he’s let go of me. Joo Min-hyeok must have found the signed divorce papers. Thus, he could formalize the separation and easily bring in an Empress. To him, I must have become a person so worthless that he is no longer curious about anything regarding me. The fact that I’ve become worthless also means that I’ve become that much safer.
Because it means I now have the freedom of not being chased by anyone. I no longer have to fret over whether Dad and Seo-joo might be put in danger. It’s for the best. I glanced at Seo-joo, who was diligently grilling meat and placing it on my plate.
Seo-joo is a case of someone who returned after having no memories of before the possession. When I and Hyun-wook appeared alternately, he felt a strange sense of déjà vu and soon said he had dreams related to us. He felt a familiarity despite never having met us, kept thinking of us, and cried because he missed us…
After such inexplicable situations repeated, he said that upon seeing Dad, his forgotten memories began to flood back like an explosion. And while catching up with Dad, he became entangled in my affairs. Since his memories returned, Seo-joo has naturally aligned all his life patterns to match mine.
Sometimes I think to myself. Seo-joo must have had a life and a lifestyle he wanted for himself; is it okay for him to be with me like this? Is this really alright? Is this the right thing? I wonder what Seo-joo’s current family thinks of this situation.
These thoughts always make my head complicated, and I worry if all of this is just my greed. I thought that since Seo-joo’s family is us and he is my brother, he should naturally be by my side. But that might not necessarily be a good thing for Seo-joo. I don’t want to let go of Han-bin hyung, my current family, and Seo-joo might feel the same.
The family here, with whom he spent a significant amount of time, must also be precious to Seo-joo. He must miss them because they aren’t together. I worry if Seo-joo is confused by going back and forth between the two, or if I’m making him sacrifice too much. I can’t be the only one to have everything.
Trying to hold onto Seo-joo, Dad, and Han-bin hyung in both hands without letting go feels too selfish of me. I’m concerned that I’ve been complacent, believing only his words that he’s okay because I wanted him to stay. I should talk to Seo-joo privately about this soon.
“Hyung, why? Do you have something to say?”
Perhaps I was staring too intently, as Seo-joo asked with a beaming smile.
“Ah, no, what I wanted to say is… eat more meat. Don’t just grill it.”
“You worry about the strangest things. I’ll probably eat more than you, Hyung.”
Watching Seo-joo place meat on my plate while looking at me as if I were being silly, I asked what I was curious about.
“Hey, Seo-joo. By the way, how is Seoul these days? Is there still a lot of talk about me?”
Even though the Imperial Palace officially announced the separation between me and the Emperor, for a while, all sorts of speculative and comparative articles about the Grand Imperial Concubine didn’t stop. To be honest, this is a bit awkward and uncomfortable, and I want to quietly disappear from people’s memories, but it’s not easy.
“Hmm… it wasn’t too bad, but it flared up again recently. Talk of the Imperial Wedding is coming up, and naturally, you’re becoming a point of comparison. The figure of the Grand Imperial Concubine was such a huge issue, after all. There were many people who liked you.”
So that means there’s still a lot of talk. Then when on earth will the name ‘Grand Imperial Concubine’ disappear? Just hearing the name mentioned makes my heart sink, so I hope it vanishes completely from people’s memories. Then I’d have nothing more to wish for. At Seo-joo’s answer, my brother and Dad couldn’t hide their worried expressions.
“I only see the articles, so I can’t really feel it, but I’m uneasy thinking those things might provoke His Majesty. I know His Majesty better than anyone. I’m worried it might be like pouring oil on a fire.”
Han-bin hyung let out a sigh, putting down his chopsticks. Ah, that face full of worry. I brought up a pointless topic and ruined the mood. I regretted it, but the conversation had already flowed in that direction.
“Dad was anxious about settling down here, too. Fearing someone might recognize you. Your photos circulated for a long time, so your face became known. Once it quieted down, even photos taken with His Majesty started appearing.”
“That’s why I thought abroad might be better, but you couldn’t adapt well even when you were away for a bit, so there was no other way. Still, it’s a relief that there aren’t many people here in the age group that would deliberately search the internet for photos.”
Yes. That is a huge relief. The people who might have seen the photos back then left the island long ago, and now only people who have no interest in the Emperor or the Grand Imperial Concubine—let alone the internet—remain here. I was lucky. I’ll live quietly here, and when the time comes, I’ll find another place. I just hope to live without any trouble until then.
“I’m fine now, so please don’t worry. Look, things like this are appearing even on an island like this, and my luck has been good lately, right? I’ll learn hard so that you guys won’t have to buy bread.”
“Yeah, let’s do that. Hyung will help a lot from the side. You can apply for the preparatory materials listed there via the internet, right?”
“Yes. I can get them issued online. There should be information about the class once I enter the site.”
I acted as brightly as possible to change the dampened atmosphere.
“Everyone’s going to gain weight because of me now! Look forward to my bread!”
“Then Dad should look for an oven quickly. You’ll need one to practice making desserts, right? I’m already looking forward to the smell of delicious bread. Hae-joo.”
The smell of delicious bread. I haven’t even started yet, and everyone is getting ahead of themselves. I joked around to change the mood, and Dad, understanding my intent, played along. Thanks to that effort, the atmosphere fortunately improved again. The mood of the house changes based on a single word or action of mine.
It means that much my family is walking on eggshells around me. I felt so sorry for that. Since everyone is being so considerate of me, I shouldn’t be so gloomy anymore. I should strive for everything from now on. Even if it’s for my family, who sacrificed a part of their lives for me.
∗ ∗ ∗
“Now I just need to print the resident registration certificate.”
Before going to bed, I sat in front of the computer to print the certificate. I was very excited about the new class, and I was curious about how my address had been handled after the divorce. The certificate should have my current address and other details. It weighed on my mind that I had fled the palace without properly organizing my residence and other matters after the divorce, failing to finish the remaining tasks.
Since it was the first time in several years that I was getting a resident registration certificate, I had many questions. Currently, I’m just living in the building Dad bought for me, so I didn’t need to worry about things like address changes.
“Ah, I should have checked this first, but I kept avoiding it because it was a headache. Even though the lawyers said they’d take care of everything, this is something I should have paid attention to.”
Fear of reality and the excitement of learning something new intersected. I was in a hurry, but since it was my first time, I slowly accessed the site following the instructions.
“Hmm, there was a separate site for printing the certificate. I wouldn’t know this if I’d never done it. Since I need to print it, not just view it, is this the right one?”
Everything like this is a first for me. Throughout my life, these were things I didn’t necessarily have to do myself, things I didn’t need to care about. When I was in the palace, the court lady in charge did it, and after leaving the palace, everything was handled by Dad, so there was no need for me to step forward or do anything in my own name.
Perhaps that’s why it felt strange to do this myself. Well, it’s nothing special! It’s easy if you just do as told. A smile spread across my face as I watched the certificate being printed. Soon, the printing was complete. With a smile of inner pride, I checked the printed certificate. Let’s see. Head of Household: Joo Min-hyeok.
……?
No, what is this?